A/N: Sorry for the wait, guys! Keeping up with both of my major fanfictions right now - - Ripples in the Pond as well as A Blonde with an Extra E - - is tough, and then when you factor in time spent on Minecraft... yeah, writing's been going slow. But without further ado, here's your next chapter!
Chapter 3: Acquiring New Hardware
Once it had been confirmed that everyone in the entire class had indeed swapped genders, the teacher, who had also suffered from the accident, sent them all to Ozpin's office. Unfortunately, this meant that the gender-bended class now had to move around... and as they soon discovered, this was no easy task.
Walking in a girl's body was much different from doing so in a guy's body, Jaune decided after the fifth time she tripped and fell flat on her face in the hallway. She picked herself up shakily, her face red with embarrassment. Her sense of balance was thrown completely off-whack; despite the fact that she had not grown much smaller, Jaune had still lost a couple of inches. Add that to the fact that Yang-sized breasts now bounced uncomfortably on her chest, and her center of gravity was completely different than before. She kept accidentally keeling straight forward. At least Cardin and her cronies weren't having any easier of a time than she was. In fact, they were doing even worse. Their teacher was having trouble as well, but not as bad as Team CRDL.
As for Ren, the tiny, black-haired girl was taking the whole female thing remarkably well. She was already walking and moving about like she'd been born a girl, and she was even starting to get the hip-swing right. Jaune was immeasurably jealous. Just how was she able to be so perfect at absolutely everything she did!?
Generally speaking, the girls-turned-guys were having a much easier time at it than the guys-turned-girls. This was probably because they didn't have to factor in the added weight of a heavy chest to their center of balances. They still weren't perfect, though, Ruby being the prime example of this. The medium-sized boy kept stumbling over his own two feet, wobbling like a teeter-totter. While he hadn't yet fallen, he'd come close. Blake, unsurprisingly, had immediately found his center of balance, probably due to the fact that he was part cat. Pyrrha had also adjusted pretty quickly, though this may have had something to do with his Semblance and armor. Yang had the next best balance, followed by Nora, then Weiss, and finally Ruby.
Just as Jaune was thinking this, her balance tipped forward again and suddenly her face was slamming down toward the ground. She closed her eyes and winced, expecting the feeling of the cold floor against her face, but a tight pull on her chest froze her in mid-fall.
"Are you okay, Jaune?" said Pyrrha, his deep voice soothing and kind. He bent down to smile at her and push her back up to a stand.
Jaune blushed, embarrassed that Pyrrha had had to save her with his Semblance. "Yeah, I'm fine," she muttered.
"It seems you're having trouble walking. I can help, if you need."
"Um..." Jaune frowned. "I'm just having a hard time finding my center of balance, and all this falling is really not helping things. Could you, um... keep a hand on me so I won't fall as much?"
The taller 'man' smiled. "Of course, I'd be happy to."
Pyrrha's hand was warm against Jaune's shoulder, comforting and strong. She didn't stop tripping at all, but he gently stopped her from faceplanting into the floor. The blonde could feel Ruby, Yang, and Nora staring at them with conspiratorial grins, but decided to ignore them lest her face grow any hotter.
"I just want to change back to being a girl!" whined Weiss, sounding slightly depressed. "Father's going to kill me."
"Don't worry about it, Ice Princess," said Yang with a snort. "Everything's gonna be fine. Just think - you can go to the bathroom standing up, now!"
He moaned pitifully. "I can't even be Ice Princess anymore…" the silver-haired boy said. "Not that that's a good name, anyway, but still…"
"Yang! Not helping!" Ruby hissed.
The brawler stared. "What? Just 'cause your pants are tighter doesn't mean you can't be an Ice Princess."
"Yang!"
"Do you think there's anyway we can get changed back?" asked Blake, his brow creasing. "I don't want to wear baseball caps for the rest of my life."
"Why do you always cover the top of your head, anyway?" Cardin asked with a snort. "It's stupid. Just be like a normal person for once."
Yang's eyes flashed. "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL NOW, DON'T THINK YOU'RE EXEMPT FROM PUNISHMENT, MISSY. I AIN'T AFRAID TO SMACK SOME BITCHES."
"Meep!" squeaked Cardin, scuttling behind Dove for protection.
"My hero," drawled Blake sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
Struggling to walk ahead of them, the teacher glared back at Yang and Cardin. "RWBY, CRDL, I sincerely hope there are no problems back there. My frustration is already through the roof with this stupid walking, and if I need to break up a fight when no challenge has been issued, both you and Cardin, Yang, are getting detention for a week. Capische?'
"Capische," said Yang, and now it was her time to roll her eyes. Their science teacher (whose name she really could not remember for some reason) had a pretty short temper. It was probably due to her Semblance - pyrokinesis. She could create a small amount of flames and control them at will. Combined with Fire Dust, the teacher (God, what was her name again?) could become a pretty heavy hitter when times required it.
The class turned and found themselves at the elevators. The teacher pressed the button and tapped her foot impatiently while they waited for the elevator to arrive. A couple minutes of the class muttering back and forth later, there was a high ding and the doors at last slid open. The class all piled into the elevator, fitting as much of them in as they could. Teams RWBY and JNPR fit in, as well as Cardin, Dove, and Russel, but Sky and the Shadows had to wait for the second trip. Yang, however, did not care much about these details. Instead, he was mulling over his lack of memory of their science teacher.
"Nora," Yang hissed, turning to the redhead with a frown, "do you remember the teacher's name?"
He opened his mouth to answer eagerly… and then blinked and tilted his head. "Huh… actually, I don't. Ya know, I don't even remember when we all signed up for this class. It's almost like we were suddenly put there for some weird purpose."
"Nora, what have we said about breaking walls?" sighed Ren in her silky voice. A lock of long, black hair fell in front of her face and she brushed it back with a huff.
He brightened up. "Three walls are fine, but stay away from the fourth?"
"Yes. And no pancakes for a week if you break the fourth."
"Right!" Nora blinked, then sagged to a depressed slump. "Awww, wait, Rennie~! This isn't fair~!"
The doors closed silently, the teacher (for the love of Oum, what was her name?) pressed the button for the Ozpin's office, and the elevator began lifting up the shaft.
"Rennie?" Jaune said, grinning despite herself. Ren blushed hotly.
Ten minutes ago, if you'd told Jaune that she'd ever think a blushing Ren was one of the cutest things on the surface of the planet, she'd have called you insane, but somehow that was exactly what Jaune was thinking at the moment. Nora seemed to think so, too, if the way he grinned and his eyes sparkled was anything to go by. Jaune was somewhat jealous of Nora's and Ren's closeness, really; they even apparently had nicknames for each other. She and Pyrrha didn't. Maybe they should? What would be a good nickname for a spirited champion of a redhead, strong and handso - okay, stop right there, brain, I definitely don't like boys now, no way, Jaune thought with a shiver.
"Don't call me that, please," muttered Ren, "and… don't ask, either. It's… it's a long story."
"Oh, come on!" Yang grinned and linked an arm around Ren, batting his eyes. It was a strangely disturbing action in his tough, big guy body. "Tell us, tell us! I have got to know this."
Ren's face was definitely getting redder. "No!"
"Aww, come on, Rennie, you're punishing me, so I think you deserve some punishment, too!" Nora drawled with a wide grin.
"Nora!" yelped the black-haired girl.
"Get a room, you two," said Cardin, earning herself a sharp glare from all of Team JNPR.
Dove facepalmed. "You just don't learn, do you?" she sighed.
"Hey, I can't help that I'm, like, the only person that doesn't get any character growth!"
"Oi, I'm the fourth wall breaker here!" barked Nora furiously.
Russel, who was surprisingly pretty, with mint green hair that had come in a pre-tied ponytail, pearly blue eyes, and slightly above-average curves, groaned. "Is it too late to regret every life decision I have ever made?"
"We're already the opposite genders, so yes, it is too late to regret every life decision I've ever made" sniffed Weiss.
"Um, I was talking about my choices, not yours," she pointed out timidly, but was largely ignored by everyone in the vicinity.
The teacher (okay, really, what the heck was her name?) groaned with relief as the elevator stopped and dinged to let them know that they'd arrived. "Oh, finally!" she cheered as the doors slid open to reveal Ozpin's emerald-colored office. "Just one more trip… I cannot wait to find a way to change back. I need to get used to walking with this body…"
They filed through the door out into the hallway, Team RWBY going first with JNPR and CRD right behind them. The teacher waited in the elevator for them to exit, then pressed the button for the floor they'd just left to retrieve Sky and the Shadows. The doors slid shut and they heard the elevator beginning its descent as Ozpin swiveled around in his chair. Glynda Goodwitch, who had been standing with her back to them beside Ozpin's chair, also turned around.
The Headmaster's Office was one of the most beautiful rooms in all of Beacon. It was wide and spacious, with a shiny emerald floor that was stunning in the sunlight. Its ceiling was a large dome from the center of which, ever-turning gears were suspended. A thin catwalk looked down upon the rest of the room from halfway up the dome, and ornate pillars stretched down to meet the floor at the room's perimeter. Large windows looked down around the entire school grounds, offering a perfect vantage point, causing the office to remind one of an impossibly fancy crow's nest. Ozpin's table sat near the back of the room, so he could stare out peacefully upon the school grounds for hours, as he had been doing before the kids' entrance.
"Ah, Team RWBY, JNPR, Cardin, Russel, and Dove," said Beacon's Headmaster, a coffee mug in one hand and his ridiculously stylish cane in the other. "Your teacher mentioned you'd be comi -" He froze as he took in his student's new bodies, his smile plastered onto his face. "Erm, I'm sorry, I'm afraid I do not know any of you young men and women. Who are you all, exactly?"
"Teams RWBY, JNPR, and CRDL, although Sky's still coming up with the Shadows," piped up Ruby. "It's really weird, but somehow we all swapped genders after a Dust explosion in Science Lab."
Ozpin and Glynda exchanged glances, their eyebrows raised in equal expressions of shock. For several moments, nothing was said, and the young Hunters- and Huntresses-in-training shifted awkwardly in place. The silence was becoming very unsettling. Even Nora seemed to be getting somewhat perturbed by it. Then, a playful smile creeped up Ozpin's face, and a second later, both he and Professor Goodwitch burst into unbridled laughter.
"Um… Ozpin, sir?" Jaune asked uncertainly, his face twitching. "What's so funny?"
Cardin glared. "Yeah, I'm a girl now! A stupid girl! This is horrible! My dad could sue the school, you know!"
"Oi, Winchester, watch your Oum-damn sexist mouth," hissed Yang.
The emerald-cloaked man was very obviously holding back giggles like a school child tries to hold back being excited over ice cream - - very badly. His eyes gleamed and his mouth twitched up. Professor Goodwitch rolled her eyes and struck her palm against her forehead. "I simply find it amusing," snorted Ozpin, "that of all the things that could've happened to you all - - poisoning, loss of limbs, death, or a particular taste for roast squirrel - - that the universe decided to punish you for mixing Dust by swapping your genders."
Weiss rolled his eyes, his patience clearly ebbing. "Haha, real funny, can you change us back or not?"
"Hmm… well - -"
The elevator door chose that moment to open with a ding that caused all the Hunters- and Huntresses-in-training to leap out of their feet. This unfortunately caused Jaune, Ruby, and Cardin to all trip and fall face-first into the ground. The sights of the three's unfortunate fall as well as the science teacher exiting the elevator in her girl form were finally too much for Ozpin. The great headmaster of Beacon Academy snorted, choked on his coffee, and at last exploded into peals of laughter.
"Ugh, Ozpin," scoffed Professor Goodwitch, groaning. "Honestly, I thought you were more serious than this."
He managed to choke down his laughter long enough to raise his eyebrow and stare incredulously at her. "Woman, I spent four years of my life training Team STRQ to become Hunters and Huntresses. I believe their antics made any long-term seriousness I achieved to be shot and killed long before that was over."
"...Withdrawn," she mumbled, looking back at the genderbent teens, Shadows, and teacher reluctantly. "Please excuse Ozpin; he's had a… strange week. Would you happen to know which types of Dust were involved in the explosion, and what amounts? If we knew those factors, we might be able to recreate the event that swapped your genders."
"I believe I can give you the appropriate Dust types," said their science teacher (okay, really, what the hell was his name?) as she wiped her brow. "I am not sure precisely how much of it reacted, however. Nora managed to break all of the six jars at once, and it is indeterminate just how much of each different type mixed to cause the explosion. It may be necessary to run several experiments, as well as do some research to see if anything like this has ever happened in the past."
The blonde woman frowned in thought. "This is certainly the first I've ever heard of an incident like this happening, but that's a good idea, Doctor…" The students all leaned forward a bit, somewhat eager to learn what the teacher's goddamn name was again… and then all sweatdropped as Glynda Goodwitch hesitated and deflated. "Erm, I'm sorry," she said, "what's your name again? For the life of me, I cannot seem to recall it."
The genderbent lady in question huffed and put her hands on her hips. "What is up with everyone always forgetting my name!? It's Doctor Knowall."
Nora tilted his head. "Why 'Doctor?' You're a science teacher."
"I got a PhD in chemistry at the same time Dr. Oobleck got his in history," said Dr. Knowall, "and you had best remember to say it instead of 'professor.' Why? Because - -"
"You didn't get your PhD for nothing, you know," recited the whole class in a perfect Oobleck impression.
Knowall nodded, pleased. "Precisely."
"Well, anyway," Yang huffed, glaring at the professors, "that recreated explosion better get made fast, because all of my beautiful hair is gone, and if I don't ever get it back, someone will get a fist to the face. I don't know exactly who, but someone will get one."
Cardin stared flatly at him. "Your hair? Bitch, you've got nothing to complain about compared to me. I'm missing my wonderful d-!"
"AHEM," coughed every single ex-girl, as well as Professor Goodwitch, in the room as they glared daggers at her.
The dark-haired woman swallowed nervously and slid back behind Dove. "Um… shutting up now."
"Thank the Lord," grumbled Jaune, her eye twitching.
"So, what'll we do while we wait for the cure?" asked Blake.
Ozpin shrugged. "Return to your classes, practice getting used to moving about in your current genders, and aside from that… anything you want to do that's not against Beacon rules."
"I'll set to work with Oz and Professor Goodwitch on that reverse-explosion," said Dr. Knowall to the students. "Class is dismissed for this period. Just… do whatever you want until lunch."
"Oh, thank God," groaned Weiss, stretching to the sky as she started to return to the elevator. "I have to go to the bathroom."
There was a pause.
"...Crap, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
Ozpin's smile twitched, and his renewed laughter filled the office.