I have two apples. A yellow one and a green one. I shut my eyes tight and make a fishy face. The green one is sour. I cry. My head hurts bad. Leliot threw his apple at my head. I cry. My new mommy picks me up. She says no to Leliot. My new mommy hugs me tight on grandad's apple farm. I stop crying when she sings to me. I like my new mommy. And daddy. And baby sister. I smell pie. Yummy. My tummy is happy when I am with my new family.

"Stay here. Do. Not. Move." I stand at attention legs spread apart hands bound behind my back. I can't see anything, everything is black. I must be wearing a latex mask with the mouth zipper. I hear her heels click across the room away from me. Stillness, anxiety, and then the anticipation rise. What punishment will I take? "I had a bad day Christian. I am very, very angry. Mr. Robinson hasn't touched me in six months. So I am going to hurt you seven times." I exhale. "One for good luck." I hear her heels again walking back; she stops in front of me and I hear a stroke of a match. An unwelcome smell invades my nostrils, one I unfortunately know too well. A cigarette. Definitely. She blows it into my face and automatically I wince.

"Don't be a rude mute Christian, just ask for some." I am no longer my own person I am a pet and must do as I am told.

"P-please ma'am…" I struggle. She burst into laughter.

"Of course baby." And with that feel a horrible stinging burning sensation. I cry out an incoherent groan. She buries the cigarette into my chest. The pain is agonizing.

I wake engrossed in sweat. I sit up panting hard, I try steadying my breathing. Involuntarily, I place my hand over my chest. There they are my scars; I slowly run my fingers over the rough circler patches. My nightstand clock reads 4:00am. 'What the hell are you thinking about Grey?' I get up to burn away the darkness the only way I know how. At 4:20 I am already outside running my daily route. The town is quite like always at this time. I past daily landmarks and still sleepy owners start to open shop. My feet pound the ground harder as I try to shake my dreary dream. Why am I thinking about Elena? Am I hers' to taunt? I pass by a few more streets thinking on a better way to start my day. Flynn.

When I finally reach back home I pull out my cell as I scan my closet for my matching black Adidas jogging suit. I am not heading to the office today, any work I need to monitor I will do from home.

"Andrea."

"Mr…" I hear a dragged out yawn "Grey, morning."

"Inform Flynn that I am coming in an hour."

"...But sir, it's hard to reach him at such an early hou…"

"Tell him it's urgent!" I growl. I pinch the bridge of my nose to settle down. 'Kool it Grey it's not her fault you're a monster who needs his shrink like the crackwhore needed crack.' Shit I need to cool it for real, it's only the first wee hours in the morning for God sake.

"R-right away sir."

I hang up and head for a shower. Quickly I throw on my black Adidas sweats and white sneakers and walk out. Mrs. Jones in the kitchen busily setting up breakfast it looks like.

"Good morning Sir, would you like the usual?" she ask pouring two cups of coffee."

"Actually none for me thanks, I have run to an appointment, I will though take the coffee to go." She smiles like a satisfied mother and pours my coffee in my sliver thermos.

"I'll prepare a heavy lunch for when you return." I give her a slight grin and she gives me the coffee to go. I thanked her and head down to the car. Taylor is already downstairs waiting for me. I shouldn't have woken my staff so early for selfish circumstances but I am still shaken so I must see Flynn. Taylor is normally up at this time anyway, we ride in silence till I reach the office.

"Great morning Christian, to what do I owe this pleasure at the crack of dawn?" he yawns. His sarcasm is dry today or maybe sleep deprives his game, either way, I ignore his whine and take my seat in front of his desk.

"A dream." I turn my attention to the window recapping all of it. "What's wrong with me?" I say barely audible to even myself. He smiles. I hate it when he smiles; he makes me feel like I am in the wrong.

"Christian..." he starts "There are many variables here, many blurred lines." 'Yeah, my demons' "Where to begin hm?" he taps his index finger slowly on the side of his temple as he pounders to himself.

"Let's talk about the first part, the visit to your grandfather's orchard. It was a very pleasant time and memory in your life. You identify with your family as a safe place. You love them Chris" 'sigh, true.'

"But Elena…" I shift in my chair uncomfortable. "She was playing the role of your stepfather in real life from a bad rooted memory, what do you suppose that means?" I absolutely loather this part. The non-rhetorical questioning like as if I knew the answer. Why would I be paying you then in the first place? My face is blank giving nothing away. "How's your relationship with her at the moment?"

I fix my brows together letting out a sigh "We are business partners, she runs the salon downtown that I originally invested in when she needed the startup..." I trail off.

"Sounds like you want to pull out." He smirks "No pun intended. I do not respond, Instead I entertain this idea. Do I want to part with Elena's salon?

"I know you Chris, the answer you are searching for in your head is yes. It's not the salon, the asset, it's her. Yes, you do want to pull out. Maybe not out of your life completely but I feel as though Elena reminds you of a time long ago that you are over, but your friendship and respect for her does not want to have her leave. Also, a part of you feels safe with her in spite of what happen when you were as child. Have you slept with her since last we spoke?" I stare into the distance confused about all the points Flynn is making, but I answer.

"Yes."

"Was it once?"

"No."

"Vanilla?"

"…No." It would seem weird, speaking to your shrink about sex but Flynn has open horrible skeletons in my closest, in my past he can handle this.

"Last, are you the submissive with her?" He raises a brow honestly curious.

"No, I am the Dom with her, and she enjoys the switch."

"Do you?" I am blank, I don't know why I even slept with Elena, and I know I am not with anyone at the moment, but I do not desperately need sex. "Hm, interesting." He writes down a few things in his note pad. "Christian, I think you like that you took back control and that you actually want to get away from this sleeping with your business partner situation."

"What do you suggest Flynn?" I huff dryly in disbelief as I analyze the thoughts in my head. He smiles a warm fucking know it all smile.

"A new fuck buddy? Or how about a new hobby, stay away from you EX-master dominant, who is married and is also your mother's best friend." I smirk finally some humor.

"And how do I do that?" I challenge.

"By going out and hanging out. Your 27 for Christ sake! Act like it, you don't have to grow up so fast Chris." I get up to leave. My head full of questions but left with a heavy heart of answers. I chuckle and shake his hand before I turn to go.

"Flynn, a handsome check along with breakfast is at your home waiting for you, and so is you're your family. Go home, good morning."