Hello and welcome to chapter 8 of To Be With You!
Just a fair warning, this is a pretty sad chapter (if you can't already tell by the title of the chapter).
There is also some one sided AiHina in this chapter as well. But don't worry! As always, HitsuHina will prevail in the end!
Anyway, without further delay, please enjoy chapter 8!
Chapter 8: Letting Go
I've heard that most people usually start to act pretty awkward once they realize that they've fallen in love with someone. And I've witnessed that first hand with Matsumoto. I swear, the day she realized she was in love with Ichimaru was a day I'll never forget. After all, how could I? She did end up nearly destroying half the office when he came over that day to deliver some paperwork…
But that never happened to me. I'm not too sure why, but whenever I saw you after that, I just didn't feel nervous at all. All I felt was a sense of calm, peace, and warmth. It was suddenly just so relaxing to simply be in presence. It felt like whenever I was with you, everything was just… right.
And I still continued to feel that way around you, even when I realized that I wasn't the one you wanted...
Flashback, And then I let you go:
"So, Taichou, have you decided what to get Hinamori for her birthday yet?" Matsumoto asked as she leaned over my desk to watch me work.
"Of course I already decided what to get her. And I already bought it too." I replied bluntly without looking up from my workload. "Her birthday's tomorrow, after all."
"Shit it's tomorrow?! I thought it was next week!" she exclaimed as she straightened herself up. I then lifted my gaze to see her start to make her way out of the office in a hurry.
"Matsumoto, don't you dare-" I began but was interrupted by the sound of her slamming the door shut after exiting the room.
I sighed. Well, if it's for the sake of getting Hinamori a gift for her birthday, I guess I can let it slide I thought as I returned my attention to my paperwork.
Despite trying my best to focus on my paperwork, my thoughts couldn't help but wonder to you. And when they did, I just had to let loose a slight smile. I couldn't wait to see your reaction to the gift I had gotten you. I remember thinking that no one else's gift could even hope to reach, let alone surpass, my own.
But then again, I guess hopes and expectations are just made to be crushed…
"Oi, Hinamori, are you ready yet?" I called out to you from outside your bedroom door. "Everyone's already outside waiting for you, you know."
"Just give me another minute and I'll be out!" you answered from inside your room. "I'm almost done!"
"Geez, Hinamori. I've been waiting for you for the last 20 minutes." I replied with a frown and my arms crossed over my chest. "Seriously, how long does it take for you to get ready?"
"Done!" you suddenly exclaimed as you opened your bedroom door and stepped outside to join me. "Sorry I made you wait so long, Hitsugaya-kun."
I remember pausing for a moment to take in your appearance. You had your hair down and were dressed in a light blue kimono with a dark blue floral design towards the bottom. "Well, as long you're ready now…" I replied as I unfolded my arms from across my chest with a sigh. "Let's get going. We can't have you be late to your own birthday, now, can we?"
You nodded in response as you followed me down the fifth division hallways and outside. "You know, I still don't see why we had to celebrate it tonight." you said as we were walking towards the fifth division banquet hall. "My birthday's only tomorrow, after all."
"It's because the weather for tomorrow would ruin your gift." I replied as we continued to walk. "While it's true that I could always just use Hyorinmaru to change it, I'd rather not bother my zanpactou for something like that." After pausing for a moment, I added "And besides, I think my gift will be a great way to start off your birthday."
"So then what is my gift?" you curiously asked as the fifth division banquet hall was coming into sight. "It must really be something big if it has to rely on good weather…"
I remember smirking in response. "Well, you'll just have to wait and see now, will you?" I answered before opening the banquet hall doors and making my way inside.
"Wow, this is incredible…" I heard you mutter from behind me as you followed me inside. I turned around to see you looking in awe at the decorations I had made Matsumoto help me set up earlier that day.
"Hinamori, Taichou, you finally made it!" Matsumoto exclaimed from the middle of the room as she made her way through the crowd to join us. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to show up!"
"Oh, sorry about that, Rangiku-san" you replied with quick little bow. "We were a little busy…"
"Don't you mean you were a little busy?" I interrupted with a slight smirk to my lips. "Honestly, Hinamori, it really shouldn't take that long…"
"You say that as though you know how long it takes to properly put on a kimono" you retorted with a slight frown. "It takes a while to put on! Especially if you're doing it by yourself!"
"Then why didn't you just have Taichou help you?" Matsumoto asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "After all, I'm sure if you had asked, he gladly would have helped."
"Rangiku-san!" you exclaimed with slightly redder face. "There's no way I could have asked Hitsugaya-kun for something like that!"
"Oi, it's Hitsugaya-Taichou now" I stated as I ran one of my hands through my hair in annoyance. "And I don't see what the big deal is. I used to help Oba-san when she would dressed you up when we were younger, after all, so it's not like I haven't done it before. Besides, if I had helped you, we could have gotten here a lot sooner."
"But Hitsugaya-kun!' you pouted as you once again ignored my request to be addressed by my title. "That was a long time ago! Things are different now!"
I sighed in response. I know things are different now I thought to myself. "Look, Hinamori-" I began but was interrupted by the sound of Kira and Abarai calling you over from halfway across the room.
"Oh, it's Kira-kun and Abarai-kun!" you exclaimed as you wave over to them. "I'm going to go over and say hi" you added before beginning to make your way over to them. I merely sighed once again as I watched you walk off.
"You know, Taichou," Matsumoto began once you were out of earshot. "You really should start seeing her as more than simply the girl you grew up with. She is a beautiful young woman after all. So it wouldn't hurt for you to address her as such every now and again."
"I know" I replied with another sigh as I watched you happily converse with Kira and Abarai from across the room. "There's no need to remind me."
"I beg to differ!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she teared my gaze away from you so I would look at her. "And I bet you didn't even compliment her on her outfit! She looks beautiful tonight, Taichou, so it wouldn't hurt to tell her that. After all, whenever a girl looks beautiful, she deserves to be told!"
"If I told her that whenever I thought she looked beautiful, then I'd have to tell her that every time I see her." I answered as I turned to look at you once again. However, you were no longer talking to Kira and Abarai. In fact, I had completely lost sight of you. As I looked around the room for you once more, the realization of what I had just blurted out to Matsumoto hit me. "Wait, Matsumoto, please tell me that I didn't just say that out loud…"
After taking a moment to look back Matsumoto, who now had a stupid grin on her face, I had the answer to my own question. "You didn't hear that" I stated before beginning to walk away from her and further into the crowd of guests.
"Whatever you say, Taichou!" I heard Matsumoto call out from behind me. By the sound of her voice, it was obvious she still had that stupid grin on her face. With yet another sigh, I shook my head as I began to walk around and look for you in the crowd. It was just about time for it to start and I didn't want you to miss a part of it because you were stuck inside talking to someone.
After a minute or two of searching, I finally found you happily chatting away with one of your subordinates. As soon as I saw you, I immediately rushed over to you and grabbed your hand before dragging you outside. I merely ignored the confused looks I was getting from you and your subordinate as I continued to bring you outside.
"Hitsugaya-kun?" I heard you ask from behind as we wiggled our way through the crowd of people. "What's going on? And what's the big rush? It was pretty rude to just abruptly leave like that, you know."
"Well we're going to miss the beginning if we don't go outside now" I replied as we finally escaped the crowd and could now freely make our way outside.
"The beginning? The beginning of what-" you began but you were suddenly interrupted by the sound of something exploding in the sky above. Unsure of what was going on, you rushed outside.
"Huh? What was-" you started again but was, once again, interrupted by the sound of something exploding off into the distance. It was only then that you decided to look up to see the fireworks lighting up the sky above.
"Now do you understand why my gift was weather dependent?" I asked with a smirk on my face as I joined you outside to enjoy the view.
"Shiro-chan…" you muttered beside me as you looked at the sky in awe. "You did this… for me?"
"Happy Birthday, Hinamori" I said as I looked over at you with a gentle smile on my face. Seeing the look on your face as you watched the sky light up above you, I knew that it was worth all the effort of having to put up with the Shiba clan the day before to organize the event.
"Thank you so much, Shiro-chan!" you exclaimed as you suddenly broke your gaze from the sky and engulfed me in a hug. "I mean it, thank you! This is the best present ever!"
"I'm glad you like it" I replied as I wrapped my arms gently around you and lightly returned the hug.
"Ah, Hinamori-kun, there you are!" I heard a male voice exclaimed from behind us. Hearing the voice, you immediately let go of me, much to my disappointment. I then turned around to glare at whoever had just ruined our moment.
"Oh, Hitsugaya-kun, you're here too" Aizen added as he offered me a gentle and semi-apologetic smile. "I didn't see you there."
Yeah, right. There's no way that bastard could have seen her and not me I thought angrily to myself as I continued to glare at him. Meanwhile, you simply began smile brightly as you took in Aizen's presence.
"Oh, yes, Hinamori-kun" Aizen continued as he redirected his attention away from my glare and back towards you. "Here, this is birthday gift from me to you."
"Oh, Aizen-taichou, you really didn't have to…" you muttered shyly as you accepted the gift and began to unwrap it. Once the gift was visible, your face lite up even brighter than before. "Wow, you bought me a hair cloth?! It's beautiful! Thank you so much, Aizen-taichou!"
So he got her a light blue hair cloth, huh? I thought as I looked down at the gift in your hands.
"I saw it the other day while I was out shopping and thought it would suit you" Aizen replied with the same old smile on his face. "And it turns out I was right."
"Oh, it's beautiful, Aizen-taichou!" you exclaimed brightly as you smiled up at Aizen. "I'll make sure to treasure it always!"
"I'm glad to hear that you like it so much. I was worried that it might get overshadows by some of your other gifts" Aizen stated before shooting a quick look to the fireworks that were exploding up above. "But it looks like I had nothing to worry about."
I began to clench my fist as I focused a glare on Aizen. His gentle, smiling face was starting to piss me off even more than before.
"Anyway, I have some business to attend to, so I'll have to excuse myself" Aizen said as he looked from me and then to you. "Happy Birthday, Hinamori-kun" he added before making his way back into his division.
As he left, I couldn't help but feel a pit growing in my stomach as I watched you follow his departure with your eyes.
Ever since that day, wherever you went and whenever I saw you, you would always be wearing that hair cloth he gave you. And whenever someone would comment on it, you would always shyly blush and answer saying that it was a gift from your captain.
After that day, my dislike towards Aizen grew even more. I was then determined that the guy had to have some weakness or shortcoming; just something to prove that he wasn't as perfect as you made him out to be. And so, for the weeks following your birthday, I was especially harsh and cold towards Aizen as I tried to find some fault in him.
But, in the end, I couldn't.
No matter what I would say or what I would do, he would always just calmly address the situation at hand with his signature smile on his face. I had even tried secretly following him around from time to time, just to see if he would show his true colours when no one was looking….
….But it seemed like he had no true colours to show.
I kept thinking that there had to be something, anything… just to let me believe that he wasn't the person everyone made him out to be. But as I continued to follow him, all I could see was that what everyone said about him was true. He was kind, considerate, gentle, strong… tall….
The longer I watched him, the more I realized that he was everything I wasn't. I wasn't kind, considerate, warm or… tall. I was just some cold kid that happened to have attained the rank of captain because of my previous captain's prolonged absence. It was beginning to feel like those kids back in Jurinan had been right all along….
The only good thing people could say about me was that I somehow managed to have you by my side. But now…. Even you were being stolen away from me…
It felt like I was losing everything. You were gone and I… was alone.
That's when I came to the following realization one day while watching you interact with Aizen. If I had to lose you to anyone, then I was fine if it was to someone like him. With all the thing he had going for him, I knew he would look after you… and do a better job of protecting you and making you happy than I ever could…
And so, once I decided that it was for the best to entrust your happiness to Aizen, I decided to let you go…