Chapter 15: What's left of us

I didn't know how to approach you after that night. Just the thought of seeing you made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. And whenever I did... No matter what I did... I'd be reminded of you. And whenever I thought of you, I would remember the face you made when I reached for your hand… the face of someone whose world was just torn apart.

Even now that face still haunts me.

I just didn't know what to do. On one hand, I knew we couldn't leave things as they were. But on the other… I just couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to see you and have my heart broken all over again. It was painful enough on that night… I didn't think I could handle going through that again.

So I started to avoid you. And this proved to be surprisingly easy to do, since it seemed that you were avoiding me as well.

That is until one day, two weeks later, when you finally came to see me...

Flashback, I'm Sorry

"Okay, that's it!" I said to myself as I slammed my pen on my desk in anger. "As soon as Matsumoto comes back from her pee break, she is getting an earful! No one can possibly need one that lasts nearly an hour!"

And then, I heard a quiet knock on my door. My immediate thought was that it had to be Matsumoto trying to brace herself for the grand lecture she knew she was about to get.

"Don't you dare think acting all quiet and innocent means you're going to get away scot free!" I yelled as I sat up from my chair and made my way towards the door. "I swear I've had enough of your excuses! Now get in here and help-"

"Hitsugaya-kun…" I heard you faintly whisper from the outside of the door. Even in a fit of anger, I had no trouble making out your voice. "Can I come in…?"

So shocked that you were actually here, I lost my ability to speak for a moment before eventually coming to my senses and opening the door to let you in. On the surface, you seemed so calm as though it was the most natural thing in the world for you to be here…

But I knew better. The look in your eyes as you nodded and entered the room told me otherwise.

"Listen, Hinamori..." I started as you sat yourself down on the couch. "A-About what I just said, it wasn't-"

"It's alright, Hitsugaya-kun." you replied, cutting me off mid sentence with an exhausted smile. "I know…"

"Oh, well, um… Good, then." I managed in response as I sat myself opposite you.

I then took a moment to take in your appearance. Although it was faint, I could make out the small hidden bags under your eyes. You looked so tired, so exhausted. You looked as though you hadn't been sleeping well lately...

Not that I could blame you. After all, I knew better than anyone that you had a lot to think over.

And judging by the a faint spark of determination that could be seen just beyond the layer of exhaustion in your eyes, it seemed as though you had finally come to your answer.

"Hitsugaya-kun…. A-About what happened… I…" you began, taking a small pause to regain your composure and determination so that you could look me in the eye. "I'm… I'm sorry..."

I knew it I thought to myself as I felt my insides begin to burn and the sting of tears trying to break through. I mean, what other answer was I expecting? Of course she'd never-

"...For everything I put you through." you finished. "I mean it, Hitsugaya-kun. I'm so, so sorry for everything I put you through… I was so cruel…"

Huh? I then thought to myself, dumbfounded. What… What is she talking about? Her, cruel? Just what in the world is she-

"You… you… were in love with me. And yet, I… Just stupid, stupid me…I acted as though you weren't and that we were just friends… That we both felt that way... That things were fine as they were..." you said as you stared down at the clenched fists in your lap, obviously trying not to cry. "And I kept telling myself that there was no way you felt that way about me. That it simply wasn't like that between us…"

"... But, deep down, I think I knew. I knew that you loved me... I'd probably always known… I mean, we've been together all our lives. It'd be weird if I didn't notice..." you continued, letting lose a faint sob. "And yet I… I… acted as though you weren't. As though, if I ignored it and pretended like it wasn't true, then it would just go away…"

"And by doing that, I was hurting you…" you added. "By refusing to accept it, I kept denying your feelings and acting as though they didn't matter… Because they were inconvenient for me… It was so cruel… I was so cruel… I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun. I'm so, so sorry… And I understand if you never want to see me again and I-"

"Hinamori!" I yelled, interrupting you before you could go on any further. "Just… Just answer me this. Do you... love me?"

"...Huh?" you exclaimed as you finally looked back up at me. "W-What…"

"Hinamori," I repeated with a half lazy smile. "Don't tell me you came all the way down here today without even an answer to that question? You come here with this grand old speech, saying how things were in the past… But tell me, Hinamori. How do you feel now? Do you love me…? Or not? It's a simple question."

"I-I… um…" you stuttered as your cheeks flashed a bright shade of pink. "I… I didn't think about that…"

"Seriously, Hinamori?" I replied with half a laugh. "You honestly didn't think to have an answer to that question? And to think you were put in the advanced class at the Academy…"

"H-Hey!" you pouted in response. "That's not fair! After what I did, I just didn't think I had that option anymore!"

"Well, Hinamori Momo," I said in all seriousness. "You do. You always have and you always will. Because regardless of anything that's happened in the past, I'm still in love with you. So tell me, Hinamori, do you love me?"

"I…" you began as you took a deep breath. "I don't…"

I see I thought to myself with a sad smile on my face. Well, I guess that's to be expected. I mean, it's not like she can just change how she's seen me for years in the span of a few weeks. So I guess I'll just have to accept-"

"... But I think I could, given time." you finished as you smiled at me with a million emotions spread across your face. "So, Hitsugaya-kun, if you're willing to wait…Then I… I..."

"Hinamori, I've been waiting for you my entire life." I said as I took your hands in my own. "In fact, I'd say that I've gotten pretty good at it over the years. So believe me when I say that waiting is not an issue when it comes to you. I'd wait for the rest of forever if I had to… Because I love you, Hinamori. I always have… and I always will."

"S-Shiro-chan…. I…" you began through a tearful smile. "I don't know what to say…"

"You don't need to say anything, Hinamori" I replied as I let go of your hand to wipe the tears from your beautiful smile. "You don't need to say anything at all…"

And so, from that day onward….

Well, you know the rest.

And there you have it, the final two segments of To Be With You!

As happy as I am to have finally finished this story, I'm also kind of sad that it's really over...

But I guess that just leaves room for future stories and future advantures, wouldn't you agree?

So, for the last time, thank you for reading and thank you for reviewing.

~ H-Mira