Author's Note: Continued spoiler alert for The Man Who Would Be King. Still don't own any of the Harry Potter or Supernatural characters.

Chapter Inspiration: Hello/Lacrimosa by The Piano Guys

Chapter 20

Castiel gave Hermione an admonishing look at her deflection back to his story. However, he continued. "After supposedly saving Sam, I finally returned to Heaven. Of course, there isn't just one Heaven. Each soul generates its own paradise. I favor the eternal Tuesday afternoon of an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub in 1953. There, I was met by a bunch of angels. We spoke of how Lucifer had destroyed me, how I'd been miraculously brought back, and how the apocalypse never happened. They assumed because I had helped the Winchesters stop the apocalypse, defeating Michael and Lucifer to do so, and because God resurrected me, that it was a sign that God wanted me to lead the angels. They looked to me for orders as to what to do. Following in the steps, and the example the Winchesters set for me, I told them about free will, and the freedom to choose, instead of just follow orders mindlessly. They didn't know what it was and asked me to tell them. If I knew then what I know now, I might've said 'it's simple, freedom is a length of rope, God wants you to hang yourself with it.'"

"So, you were going to try and teach angels that their way of life was obsolete, and that there was a different way to live?" Hermione asked for clarification.

"Yes." Castiel confirmed. "Though, those first weeks back in Heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish."

Hermione giggled at the angel's metaphor. She'd never known him to use such, even if he had meant it literally from his perspective. At Castiel's reproachful look, she calmed herself to hear more of his story.

"And then, there was Raphael, another archangel. He told me how he was taking control of Heaven, how the angels didn't need a new way of living. He was convinced that their only job was to take orders, and he had every intention of giving them. He told me that once he was giving the orders, he was going to release Michael and Lucifer from the cage, and restart the apocalypse. He also commanded that I bow to him. I couldn't let the Winchesters hard work and sacrifice go to waste, Hermione. I tried to stand up to him, but…" Castiel's sentence trailed off for a moment.

"But?" Hermione asked gently.

"I'm not ashamed to say, my big brother knocked me into next week." Castiel admitted.

"Okay, you're getting confusing in your storytelling. Let me see if I'm understanding you: first, you rescued Sam, but not all of Sam because his soul got stuck and left behind. Second, you went to heaven, tried giving angels free will, confronted an archangel named Raphael, and got beat up. There's a chunk of story missing, as for some reason, Dean lied to you, convinced by Sam and Bobby it was a wise idea, because you might be working for the King of Hell. He tortured a demon that led them to Ellsworth, but you took out Ellsworth. Something Bobby and Sam suspected you did, with Dean still trying to defend you. Am I wrong?" Hermione was trying to put the puzzle of this story together, however Castiel wasn't giving her the pieces in the right order.

"Correct, and I was spying on them the entire time. From the moment, they stepped into Ellsworth's, I was there, invisible, but there. Dean wanted to pray to me, to ask me if I knew who had cleaned out the place, and he gave a rousing argument for it. One that would have convinced me to do just about anything. It was enough for Sam to pray. But I didn't go to them, because I knew that they had questions I couldn't answer, because I was afraid. They assumed I was busy, and they were getting ready to leave, when demons attacked. They were sent by Crowley to kill them." Castiel went on.

Hermione gasped when he got to the part of the story where demons sent to kill the boys, attacked. As much as Dean had hurt her, she could not fathom him dead, and Sam, he was kind, so was Bobby. They were people she cared about.

Castiel kept on with the story, seemingly oblivious to Hermione's emotional state. "Crowley sent his very best. I was caught as much by surprise as the rest of them. And it left me with yet another choice: I could reveal myself and smite the demons, of course Crowley wouldn't like it but, on the other hand, they were my friends. So, I smote the demons before they could hurt the Winchesters, or Bobby, and for a brief moment, I was me again."

Hermione let out a breath of relief. All three were living, and Castiel had saved them. No matter where the story was headed from here, at least Dean and her friends were still alive.

"I played it off as if I'd just found them, and as if I had news of Crowley. Of course, it was the same information they already knew, but it was the best I felt I could do at the time. Dean wasn't impressed with regurgitated information, but he was smug thinking he was right about me. Apparently, me saving them proved his point. They were grateful to me, and my assistance. Wonders never cease, they trusted me again, but it was just another lie. Before I go on with this, there is something I feel I should personally note. The demons sent were Crowley's best, and Sam and Bobby were fighting as hard as they could against them to no avail, but Dean. It was if he didn't care whether he lived or died. He didn't fight as well as I know him to, and I was pretty sure at the time, that he was drunk." Castiel told Hermione. He studied the way Hermione reacted to his aside. Her eyes glazed over with tears before they dropped from his steady gaze to a wall opposite them.

He decided to keep going with his story. "I pretended to be surprised at the knowledge that they were going after Crowley and not telling me because they assumed I was working with him. I pretended it was an absurd notion for an angel and a demon to work together, and tried to quell their concerns. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time, but it was all over. Right then, just like that. When I left them, I went right to Crowley, and confronted him about the demons sent to kill my friends. After spewing some B. S. back at me about not being allowed to have friends, Crowley figured me out. He accused me of wanting to keep the Winchesters believing that I was still good, still righteous. He said that my motivation was that if they believed it, I could still believe it about myself. I see now, he wasn't wrong, but in order to distract him from his correct assumptions about me, I threatened him. If the Winchesters, or Bobby, were hurt because of him, then I would tear down his operation."

"So why did you do it? If you wanted them to believe you a good angel like it always seems they have, why were you working with Crowley? Better yet, why didn't you tear it down before it could go any further?" Hermione asked, wanting to understand better why the story hadn't ended with Castiel terminating whatever it was he had going on with the King of Hell.

"I asked myself what was I doing with this vermin, as if I didn't already know the answer. Raphael was stronger than me. I wouldn't survive a straight fight. So, I went to an old friend for help, but watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more." Castiel replied, giving Hermione a look, heavy with meaning.

"Dean?" Hermione asked on a gasp of breath.

"Yes, he was out in Bobby's yard, teaching you to fight." Castiel replied.

"I didn't know you were there." Hermione commented.

"No, you wouldn't have. I couldn't be seen by humans. That's when Crowley approached me, seeking a deal." Castiel replied, moving ahead a little bit more with his story.

"But you have no soul to sell." Hermione pointed out.

"That's what I told him, but he had a deal that would give me the power to take on Raphael, using souls. It was a deal meant to benefit both of us, him in Hell, myself in Heaven. The deal is to open the door to Purgatory, and use the souls from there. I was no fool, I knew who Crowley was, and what he did, but I was smarter than him, stronger. I see now that I was prideful, and in all likelihood, a fool." Castiel confirmed.

"You went from using past tense to present tense, is that deal still in place?" Hermione questioned, her voice rising a bit.

"Yes, it is in place currently." Castiel replied.

"Oh Cas, why?" Hermione asked, placing a hand on the angel's shoulder.

"I wish I could say I was clean of pride in that moment, or the next. And so, went the long road of good intentions, the road that brought me here. The moment that ended my deceit, was me using a metaphor that Bobby had come up with while I was spying on them. If I hadn't been spying, I wouldn't have known about it. I ended up being confronted by them, caught in the middle of a ring of Holy Fire. They were angry that I had been working with Crowley, and of course, the lying to them about it. Poor Dean looked as though I had betrayed him, and if I didn't think he could look any worse, he did. He looked as if it had all just finally broken him. I tried pleading my case, I tried telling them about defeating Raphael, I went so far as to reveal to everyone that I was the one to raise Sam. The younger Winchester didn't take it well, all because his soul had gotten left behind, and he was living with the guilt from having done terrible things while being without it. Being asked if I had brought him back soulless on purpose was a hard moment for me. Now I'm seeing that maybe their doubt is to be expected. Dean is right, I wouldn't have kept it all a secret from them if I truly thought that what I was doing was right. He told me that I should have just gone to him in the first place, that making deals with devils was never the right thing to do, but I never gave him the chance to tell me that before I did. It wasn't long after that, demons descended, and they had to run. Crowley put out the holy fire ring, and now, here I am. So, that's everything. I believe that's what you'd call a tragedy, from a human perspective. Maybe the human perspective is limited? I don't know. That's why I've been asking my Father if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm on the right path. I just need a sign, because if He doesn't, I'm going to do whatever I must." Castiel finished his story, hands clasped in his lap.

Hermione was fitting the last pieces of the puzzle together, finally seeing everything from start to finish with a sort of clarity that the angel lacked. "You admit Crowley was right about you, you see your own faults throughout the story, you've admitted as much. What if it wasn't on you to stop the apocalypse restart, and Raphael?"

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked, confused.

"What if it was more something that God needs to do, but he's just waiting for you to turn the responsibility back on him?" Hermione laid out the theory that had been building in her mind during his story.

"We can't find God, we tried. Joshua told the boys during the apocalypse that God didn't want to be found. That he was done helping." Castiel argued.

"That was, what? A year or more ago?" Hermione questioned.

"So?" Castiel responded.

"A lot has changed in a year Cas, maybe going about things now should be different too." Hermione advised.

"So, what would you do?" Castiel asked Hermione, conceding her point in his question.

"Re-try the God thing before moving forward with this asinine deal with Crowley. If this blows up in your face, there could be very dire consequences. I'm siding with Dean here on this one. This is not the way to go, and you do know it, or you wouldn't be here right now." Hermione said firmly.

"You're very bright for your age, Hermione Granger." Castiel remarked.

"I've been told that once or twice." She joked with a smile. "If you want, I'll even explain to them, that you've changed your mind. If you have, that is."

"I have, and I'd be much obliged." The angel replied, helping Hermione to stand.

"It'll take a couple of days to arrange the portkey. There's a special one that has to be made for women as pregnant as I am, but I'll tell them for you." Hermione assured him.

"I'll take you, it's not as dangerous for me to fly out, as it is for me to fly in." Castiel replied. Before Hermione could counter him, he pressed two fingers to her forehead, landing them both in Bobby's living room, where Dean was dozing on the couch.