Dean was hospitalized. Castiel had listened from the hallway as doctor explained the extent of his injuries to Sam.

"Mr. Winchester, he has a concussion, fractured jaw, multiple facial injuries that will heal with stitches and time. Honestly, we're not sure when he'll wake up. The lack of oxygen to his brain may cause some damage."

"Some damage?" Sam asks over the faint tones of the heart monitor and breathing machine Dean was connected too.

"Yes, sir. So far all of our readings are indicating that he has normal brain activity and if anything, the coma is just his way to repair." Castiel heard the doctor pause and the scratching of a pen. "Just give it time, son."

That had been nearly a week. A solid week of Sam crying over his brother's still body. A week of hearing Sam's prayers for God to save him. A week of Sam cursing Castiel's name. A week of Castiel agreeing with Sam over the latter.

He wanted to use his grace to heal Dean. He truly did but the minute Sam demanded that Castiel performed a miracle to save Dean, he received explicit instructions from Heaven not to intervene and while Sam yelled at him in the hall of that tiny hospital, thousands of questions ran through Castiel's mind.

He wanted to ask Uriel what had happened. Why Heaven, who was so keen on saving Dean in the first place, refused to help him now. Did they not need Dean to be Michael's vessel for the battle against Lucifer? Or was that a lie?

Instead he sought solace in the one person he could think of. Anna.

He had gone to one of the historical buildings in town. The two story colonial building blended in beautifully with the fresh white snow surrounding the grounds. He knew Anna would come to this place since she was always the one in Garrison who loved the history of humans.

"Anna, please," Castiel said desperately after she had not shown to his previous calls.

The street lights started to flicker and Castiel looked up at the one above his head. Was this what Dean saw? He wondered. He turned when he heard the flutter of wings.

"Decided to kill me after all?" the redhead asked.

"I'm alone."

"What do you want from me, Castiel?"

"I'm considering disobedience." Even though he felt this might be the right path, it still pained him to say. After all, when Lucifer, one of his Father's trusted angels, started to show disobedience and question things, he was cast out of Heaven. Heaven was the only home Castiel had known and didn't want to lose that or his family.

"Good," Anna responded with a slight nod. She knew Castiel had disobeyed before. She, unlike Castiel, remembers his time on Earth before.

"No, it's not," Castiel said truthfully. "For the first time, I feel."

"It gets worse," Anna confirmed, moving close to him. "Choosing your own course of action. It's confusing. It's terrifying." She reaches out and squeezes his arm, knowing that the feelings he has are the doubts of his orders and a caring for Dean.

Castiel responds to her comfort by pulling away.

"That's right," she said with a bitter chuckle, "You're too good for my help. I'm just trash." Castiel looks to her now. "A walking blasphemy." She turns on her heels to walk away.

"Anna," Castiel calls out to stop her. "I don't know what to do. Please tell me what to do," he begs his former commander.

She looks at him over her shoulder and gives him a sad smile. "Like the old days?" she asks. He looks at her expectantly and she shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry. It's time to think for yourself." With that, she was gone. Leaving Castiel to stand alone and think.

He glances around, unsure what to do next, when his attention is drawn to a water fountain that has a pipe and control valve. Castiel narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he looks at the pipes construction and the slight stream of water than seeps from the pipe.

He goes back to the warehouse. Something about the control valve at the park made him want to trace his steps. He walks around the room, his fingers brush against the bottle of Evan Williams Dean had drank from. His eyes glance around to the area in question. How could Alastair escape the demon trap? he wonders as he walks around the perimeter and he sees it. There's a break in the paint.

Castiel squats down and runs his fingers along the spot that is now clear of paint. It's smooth and there is no trace of paint but it's still damp. He looks up and sees the water pipe above and notices that there is water slowly running in the outside along the pipe from where the connection bolts meet. He walks over to the control valve and moves it to see if it will tighten. He clenches his jaw when it gives and tightens to close the off the water supply. Only two others knew of the location of Alastair. He knew Anna wasn't behind this because he had seen she felt for Dean, that while she may not have had a bond with him like that of his own, they did share a brief intimate connection.

Uriel

"You called for me?" Uriel says as he enters the room. He thinks that Castiel wants to join him in the rebellion against Heaven and the humans.

"It's strange," Castiel says ignoring Uriel's question. "Strange how a leaky pipe can undo the work of angels. Especially when we ourselves," he looks at Uriel, "are supposed to be the agents of fate."

"Alastair was much more powerful than we had imagined," Uriel says deceptively and Castiel knows it.

"No. No demon can over power that trap." He points to it and watches Uriel's eyes flicker in discomfort before going blank of emotions. "I made it myself," Castiel adds. This was a big deal as he was the most powerful of the Garrison. He was the one that would be called upon to perform the various spells and incantations that were needed on the field. While, yes, he was a strong fighter, he was stronger with magic and languages.

Castiel gives Uriel a small smile that doesn't match the emotions within him. "We've been friends a long time, Uriel. Fought by each other's sides, served together away from home," he moves closer, his gaze narrowing, finally showing the signs of the betrayal he was feeling. "For what seem like forever. We're brothers, Uriel." He watches Uriel's reaction and knows that he's caught him. "Pay me that respect. Tell me the truth."

"The truth is, the only thing that can kill an angel is another angel." Uriel exposes his blade that was hidden in the arm of his suit. Castiel watches as his friend means to threaten him, the smug look on his face answers the questions Castiel had.

"You."

"I'm afraid so." Uriel agrees, his tone flat and bored.

"And you broke the devil's trap and set Alastair on Dean." Castiel could see something flicker in Uriel's eyes when he mentions Dean.

"Alastair should never have been taken alive. It was really inconvenient, Cas." Castiel clenches his fists, waiting for Uriel to finish. "Yes, I did turn the screw a little. Alastair should have killed Dean and escaped and you should've gone on happily scapegoating the demons."

How could Uriel think that this was all okay? To let the Righteous Man die? To kill their brethren?

"For the murders of our kin?" Castiel asks.

Uriel rolls his eyes. "Not murders, Castiel, no. My work is conversion. How long have we waited here? How long have we played this game by rules that make no sense?"

Castiel shakes his head. He will not hear Uriel's excuses. "It is our Father's world, Uriel."

"Our Father," Uriel says the name distastefully. "He stopped being that, if He ever was, the moment he created them. Humanity. His favorites."

No no no no no, Castiel thinks as he shakes his head. This is blasphemy.

"His whining, puking larvae." Uriel continues. "I wanted you to join me and I still do. With you, we can be powerful enough to-"

"To?" Castiel interrupts, his voice low and deadly.

"To raise our brother," Uriel says wistfully.

Castiel feels as if he had been kicked in the stomach. "Lucifer."

"You do remember him." Uriel looks pleased that Castiel knows who he's talking about. "How strong he was, how beautiful he was." Uriel's words of adoration sounding like what Castiel had witnessed females doing when speaking of their favorite actor.

"And he didn't bow to humanity, he was punished for defending us. Now, if you want to believe in something, believe in him, Castiel."

No, Castiel thinks. Lucifer was cast out of Heaven because of his vanity. He was to reflect their Father's glory. Lucifer let his vanity take over, he thought he was God's glory. Castiel had heard this being said as "God's gift to women," when the humans spoke men who were vain. That was what Lucifer really was.

Hearing Uriel's reverence for Lucifer as God made Castiel's stomach turn and a taste of sour taste of acid form in his mouth.

"Lucifer is not God," Castiel is appalled at the thought.

"God," Uriel's voice is full of venom, "Is not God. He doesn't care what we do." He moves to walk around Castiel now, taunting him. "I am proof of that."

"But this?" Castiel asks turning to face Uriel. "What were you going to do? Were you gonna kill the whole Garrison?"

He shakes his head. "I only killed the ones who said no."

Castiel narrows his eyes at him trying to understand the betrayal. To think he once considered this angel a friend, a brother, and he willing slaughtered their kind - and for what?

"Others have joined me, Cas. Now please, brother, don't fight me. Help me. Help me spread the word. Help me bring on this apocalypse."

Castiel moves his head slightly to indicate no. He is to stop the apocalypse. He is to assist the Winchesters and Michael.

"All you have to do is be unafraid," Uriel says softly.

Castiel acts as if he's debating Uriel's offer, buying time, or stalling - as he's learned from his observation of the Winchesters. All he was really doing was misdirection, calculating his next move.

"For the first time, I am," he says making Uriel think he is on his side before Castiel uses all his weight to push a forcefully blow into Uriel's chest with his hand. The force send Uriel through a brick wall, where he quickly regains his stance.

Uriel lunges at Castiel, getting him with a right hook and when he tries to swing with left jab, Castiel deftly moves. Soon the two angels are using each other for boxing practice. Expert swings, connecting. Shoving each other into walls and columns.

Castiel picks himself up after flying into one of the support beams. He spits the blood from his vessel's mouth, a cold, callous smile crosses his lips, taunting his brother. He knows that the only way to make it out alive is to kill Uriel. After a few more punches, he thinks he might have it as Uriel staggers back.

Uriel blind sides him with a rod of rebar, bringing Castiel to his knees.

The blood from Castiel's nose, trickles down his face and mixes with that in his mouth. "You can't win, Uriel," he says looking up at him defiantly as Uriel grabs his shoulder roughly. "I still serve God."

"You haven't even met the man!" Uriel snarls. "There is no will!" Pain sears Castiel's face as Uriel's fist makes contact with it again. "No wrath!" Another blow. "No God," Uriel growls at Castiel as he pulls back to swing again.

Only this time the blow doesn't make contact with his face. Instead Castiel sees a blade protruding through Uriel's windpipe, a look of shock on the angel's dark eyes.

"Maybe or maybe not," Anna whispers from behind Uriel, her blade pushing farther. "But there's still me." She pulls her blade out and moves to Castiel's side as Uriel's body slumps to the floor.

Suddenly the warehouse is engulfed in a bright blinding white light as Uriel's true visage is leaving its vessel, windows exploding with the force of his true form. The last scraps of his grace, flowing back to Heaven.

As Castiel stands, he takes one last look at what remains of the man he called brother for so many years, the burn of the angel's wings permanently scorched into the ground.

It's been three days since the battle with Uriel and the truth behind this killing of the angels were revealed. Dean and been taken off the respirator and was finally breathing on his own.

When Castiel came to check on his charge, Sam used that time to go get some much needed rest, hoping that the angel could comfort his brother when he awoke.

Castiel waited for Dean. He listed to the steady breathing and the faint beeps from the heart machine. He watches as the humans muscles would react to whatever dream plagued his REM cycles. He listened to the nurses and doctors whisper to each other about Dean's prognosis all the while, deciding how much to tell the Righteous Man.

It wasn't until Castiel heard the faint intake of breath that he knew for certain Dean was awake.

"Are you alright?" he asks from beside Dean's bed, his eyes trained on the blank TV screen across the room.

Dean looks to the angel besides him. He studies the trench coat that's at least a size too big, the unevenly buttoned white shirt and the crooked and backwards blue tie. He studies the pensive look on Castiel's face, wondering what the hell he is thinking.

"No thanks to you," he says bitterly.

Castiel sighs and shifts slightly. "You need to be more careful."

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap," Dean counters, his voice still raw sounding from being intubated.

"That's not what I mean," Castiel sighs again. He watches Dean from his peripheral vision. "Uriel is dead."

This piques Dean's interest. "Was it the demon?" he asks.

"It was his disobedience," he answers before look into Dean's eyes. The pain in his eyes, the gashes and cuts, the swollen eye, all of it pains the angel to see.

"He was working against us," Castiel explains.

Dean looks away. He needs to know if he was start of it all, if Alastair was right.

"Is it true?" Dean asks making Castiel focus on him again. Dean can see the haunted look in Castiel's blue eyes.

"Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

"Yes," Castiel answers honestly as Dean's eye focus on anything but him. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege in Hell and we fought our way to get to you before you-" he hesitates as he watches the mask Dean tries to hide behind crumble.

"Jump-started the apocalypse," Dean finishes, his voice breaking.

Castiel looks towards the Heavens, seeking guidance, knowing that this conversation was not one that would win back Dean's favor toward their cause. "We were too late."

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?"

"It's not blame that falls on you, Dean." It's me, I wasn't fast enough. "It's fate," Castiel explains as he leans forward, resting his arms against his knees. "'And the Righteous Man who begins it, is the only one who can finish it'," Castiel recites the prophecy to Dean before looking back at him. "You have to stop it."

"Lucifer?" he asks in a whispered response as the tears he was holding back starts to break free. "The apocalypse? What does that mean?"

Castiel looks away again. He can hear his commander telling him to come back. To not answer Dean's questions. He knows he must follow orders but there's something about Dean being in the broken state he is now because of him, that makes it that much harder for Castiel to leave.

"Hey!" Dean shouts as loud as he can given his throat feels like he's been swallowing gravel and razor blades. "Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Bull!"

"I don't," Castiel looks at him again. "Dean, they don't tell me much." All Castiel knows is that Dean is needed as Michael's vessel to defeat Lucifer. However telling Dean this would be a direct violation of his orders and with the way Naomi is seething in the back of his mind, he knows he can't disobey. "I know that our fate rests with you," he supplies hoping to placate Dean for now.

Dean's jaw trembles. He remembers that Castiel had warned him about the weight that would be placed onto his shoulders. How could they expect one man to save all of humanity from the oldest villain ever told? He has a hard enough time saving Sammy. He can't do this.

"Well then, you guys are screwed," he takes a shaky breath as the tears flow stronger. "I can't do it, Cas. It's too big." He watches as Castiel looks away again clenching his jaw as Dean confesses his thoughts to him. "Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not -" he hates admitting his fears and doubts. "I'm not strong enough."

Castiel looks at him again and Dean doesn't see the disappointment, resentment, or pity that he expects from the angel. Instead he sees guilt, shame, and sadness. All emotions he doesn't understand why they are there. He should be the one feeling them. Not Castiel.

"Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dad's wanted me to be."

Once Dean was released from the hospital, he and Sam went back to doing what they did best, hunting things and saving people. Neither one spoke of what they were both thinking of. The apocalypse.

Castiel had done his best to stay away from the Winchesters, only helping when needed. They seemed to be getting things done on their own, accomplishing all that is needed of them. Sam tried to stay away from the demon Ruby and Dean tried to ignore his destiny.

This plan seemed to work for all that was involved. At least that was until the Winchester brothers were contacted by a young man by the name of Adam Milligan. The boys would have ignored the kid, if it hadn't been for one simple phrase that both gave them hope but crushed at least one brother's heart. Adam was John Winchester's youngest son.

The boys had learned of Adam after his mother was taken by a creature. A creature they had later learned to be a ghoul. Dean being the cynical hunter he was, used all the tricks he could think of to prove to not only Sam but himself that this Adam character was something that needed to be ganked because there was no way in Hell John would have left an eleven year old Dean with seven year old Sammy while he played house with Adam and his mother Kate. The tests - holy water in the drinking glass that would surely make a demon howl in pain and the sterling silver cutlery no shapeshifter could handle without melting his own flesh - proved to be ineffective as Adam drained the glass of water and enjoyed his meal, telling the elder two stories about how John would take him to baseball games every year.

The more that they talked the more it became apparent that Adam was in fact a Winchester. Sam seemed to be pleased with the prospect of another brother, no longer being the baby. Adam was smart, graduated top of his class in high school and was attending the state university for pre-med. These new facts and they way it was unspoken of how proud John was of his youngest was like twisting the knife in Dean's chest. Feeling robbed of the attention and affection that Adam clearly got, while he was forced to grow up hunting and watching over Sam.

Sam had suggested using their brother as bait for the ghoul justifying it by saying that even if Adam died, there will always be something out there, looking for revenge on their father or them. Dean didn't want to do that to Adam. The kid had a chance to live a normal life. It wasn't his fault that his mother fell for their father. If he had the option to keep Sam out of this when we has younger, he would have.

While Sam was teaching Adam how to shoot, Dean stood off to the side watching as he leaned against the Impala. He was angry but didn't know who to place the blame on. Should he blame his father? A man who had left Dean and Sam with Bobby, where they attempted to live as normally as they could. Maybe he blames Sam. After all, had Sam stayed in California rather than go with him to look for their father, John would be alive, Dean wouldn't have ever gone to Hell and Sam would be something better than the junkie for demon blood. Shit, maybe he's angry at the stupid angel that ripped him from Hell. After all, Castiel didn't get him out soon enough and if he had, then Dean himself wouldn't have broken the first seal.

Son of a Bitch, Dean thinks to himself. He's not mad at any of those three. John was only trying to avenge his love. Sam was trying to be the good son and brother, and Castiel - well he even said it himself, he's an angel with orders. It's not any fault of these three that he spilt the blood in Hell. It's not their fault that he was too weak to deny Alistair. That he's still too weak to say yes to the angels and allow Michael to take his true vessel.

Of course little did Sam and Dean know, the Adam that they were spending time with wasn't truly Adam. No, for all their preparations of getting their younger brother ready to protect themselves, it was them that needed protecting for this Adam was a ghoul. It had killed their brother in hope to trap and kill John Winchester, only to find that he was already dead. Not that that would stop the ghoul, after all, the Winchester sons were just as wanted amongst the supernatural world as their father was. Especially Dean. This ghoul wanted to capitalize on that get the bragging rights of being the one who prevented the angels from being able to stop Lucifer or the apocalypse by ending their prize fighter.

As in all their hunts, one brother came to the rescue at just the right time. Dean had managed to take out the ghoul and save Sammy from bleeding out.

Castiel could do many things the humans were not privy to. One of those things was the ability to dream walk amongst his charges. Often times when he found a lull in his orders he would visit the brothers and use their time of unconsciousness to learn more about them. Sam's dreams would often involve his previous life of law school exams and memories of a beautiful young blonde he would call Jess. A few times he even had horrific dreams about being a monster, a monster with demon blood who needed the blood of other demons to survive. The saddest ones that Sam would have always had one recurring theme, disappointing Dean.

Dean's dreams were slightly more predictable as they alternated between two topics in particular. Either memories of his time in hell, whether he was the one being tortured and begging for someone to come save him or of his torturing the souls himself. Castiel tried to stay out of these dreams as they were too painful to experience, even for the angel. Instead for those nights, he would stay by the hunter's side, soothing the fear and pain as Dean would call out or whimper in his sleep.

The second dream that Dean would have on occasion was of his childhood prior to hunting with his father. These dreams would show the younger Dean laughing and carefree with a female friend. Castiel liked to watch these because unbeknownst to humans, their dreams are tangible with the emotions of it. So these dreams always made a warmth form in Castiel's chest. The ability to see the hunter full of hope and happiness was something Castiel actually craved like a drug. Underneath his feeling of warmth there was something else tugging at him that he couldn't place. Especially when Dean would dream of his teenage self and profess his love for the young girl in his arms.

"Seriously, Cassie?" Gabriel drawled out the nick name when Castiel expressed his confusion about that feeling.

"Yes, Gabriel. That was the human girls shortened name."

Gabriel shakes his head. "You have got to be one of the dumbest Seraphims I know, Cas," he says exasperated. "I've been calling you Cassie for how long now?"

Castiel thinks about Gabriel's question and shrugs. "For as long as I can remember. We technically didn't start talking until recently and I assumed you had called me that because it was annoying."

"She really did a number on you this time, didn't she?" he asked. His golden eyes look at Castiel in concern. "You don't remember anything before saving Dean, do you?"

"Of course I do. I've been at battle. My Garrison was assigned to help prepare for the rising of Lucifer before I was called to lead and aid in the rising of The Righteous Man."

"Fucking Naomi," Gabriel growls before placing his hand on Castiel's forehead. "This might sting a little."

Castiel gasps as images infiltrate his mind. The images he has seen from Dean's dreams as well as others he can't place. Memories of a former vessel - young female, long dark hair, a tinkling laugh. Cassandra. Feelings follow of love, companionship, trust. Dean's lips against the vessel's with a nervous laugh. Dean holding the vessel as they wait in line at a fair. Dean protecting the vessel when bullies try to harass her.

Castiel can't breathe, all the feeling, emotions and memories are too much to take. He puts his head between his knees trying to catch his breath, trying to calm the wave of nausea as more images flutter in.

It's the image of Gabriel and Anna standing in front of the young vessel. He's laughing at her as Anna frowns in concern. "You're in love with the human."

"You…" Castiel croaks out glaring at Gabriel. "You were there!"

Gabriel nods. "Yeah, little brother, I was there. Anna was assigned to watch over and you know me. I'm not one to follow orders so I tagged along. After the accident, the one that you saved Dean in, Namoi was assigned to your debriefing."

"She reprogrammed me." Castiel meant to ask it as he had heard of other angels who had to be reprogrammed after they had failed or gone against commands. It was either that option or your garrison was sent to destroy you.

Again Gabriel nods, his usual jovial look is darkened with an anger Castiel can't remember ever seeing. "Yes. I think it was stupid to do. Especially when Dad sent you to save Dean from Hell. I'm sure you couldn't go to him and be like, 'Hey there good lookin, remember me?"

"I have to tell Dean," Castiel says suddenly, jumping up.

"Be careful, little brother."