Iago starts off the chapter as he sniffles, saying, "Hey guys, it's me, Iago. And I'm having a terrible fucking night... So, I tried to log in League of Legends...to play with my friends...they told me my password is wrong...and I know it's not wrong cause I've been keeping the fucking password has been, ever since the game was in BETA!"
Iago then was saddened, and continues his complaint,
"It's the same password I use for ALL MY FUCKING ACCOUNT! I keep trying to put it in, I keep trying to put it in, the thing was a bull! I tried to fucking put it right, I tried to keep putting the fucking thing in! It wouldn't work, it's BULLSHIT! ...And I tried to do an account recovery, I tried to do password recovery, and I couldn't, I never got the ema- I NEVER GOT THE FUCKING EMAIL! I thought the servers were down or something, but I never got the fucking email! So I looked at the forums, and I... I think someone... I think someone hacked into my account. And I think he changed the email...on my account..."
Iago then thinks of something and complains,
"And I spent like a thousand dollars on LEAGUE OF LEGENDS! ...FREE-TO-PLAY, MY ASS! I SPENT ALMOST TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! How is that free to play?! I had almost a hundred skins! I had fucking past DECKS! FOR FUCK'S SAKES! Freaking Bowseramas..."
Iago cries with tears and continues,
"Goddamn it...on the forums, they said that, I got hacked! I got hacked, I GOT HACKED! That hacker's got...email, they got email information! They got passwords in the fucking LOGINS! Cause that motherfucker's got my past decks! Somebody's playing my League of Legends account, RIGHT NOW! ...And you know what's worse, what's worse is they fi- THEY HAVE CREDIT CARD INFORMATION! Credit card information, they told me to check my statement! ...Because I got credit card information! THAT'S MY LIFE, THAT'S MY MONEY! And I CHECKED, and suddenly, I'm buying shit off of Amazon! I don't buy anything from Amazon, because I don't MONEY, because I'm too busy playing LEAGUE OF FUCKING LEGENDS!"
Iago suddenly slams his desk while complaining this, calming down a bit and sighing,
"I'm buying stuff in a mexican Walmart... I'M NEVER BEEN TO FUCKING MEXICO! ...Right? I want my account back, I want my fucking account back, I want my fucking account back! It's my 1200 DOLLARS!", the red parrot yells, before slamming the keyboard on the desk and on his face, saying, "I want my fucking account BACK! Iwantitback, Iwantitback, Iwantitback, Iwantitback, I want it BACK!"
Iago finally calms down a bit before making a final complaint while slamming the keyboard again,
"I want my fucking money back! You, I want my fucking money back! You motherfuckers! For a thousand dollars a month, you can't protect! MY FUCKING SECURITY!-!-!"
Iago then finally calms down and sighs, facepalming,
"Fuckers..."