Iago starts off and says, "Hey, guys... It's me, Iago... I was- I'm done, I'm coming home to make a complaint to let you guys and your friends know, I'm not playing Destiny anymore, I'm done with it, I quit. My friends said I can play it, and I don't even understand why they only play it on their console or computer, one of them didn't play it, so it's like a fucking loot crate for not playing the game. Okay? Because that's better than actually not playing the game doing these fucking strikes, and doing the process of playing 70 hours to do the fucking thing...and getting NOTHING in return, getting no loot, he's getting more loot than me, and I tried to play the game the right way! Why?"
The red parrot continues his Destiny explanation,
"Okay...let me tell you why I'm quitting the game, I'm gonna be entirely honest, besides the fact I think I got my third purple ingram today...and I got a blue ingram, besides that. Number one...the endgame doesn't make any sense... Why are there 19 currencies? Wait, you got coins, you got loot, you got something to put together, you fucking got vanguard point the- What the fuck is even going on? I don't know who wants what or what do they even want to fucking sell? Okay... I live in America and I'm a Disney character, and in America, we have one fucking currency, in this tiny little fortress, they've got twenty! Why?! I don't understand why! That doesn't make any sense! Okay..."
Iago says his second opinion,
"Secondly, I don't want to grind your factions, I don't know who these people are, I don't know, do I want to grind the Vanguard? I don't know- I can get Queen's Favour- What the fuck is Queen's Favour? Who the fuck is the Queen? Have I ever seen her, is she even in the game? I don't know, I watched three different cutscenes, I don't think anybody referred to as the Queen, there was a girl on a throne, I guess that might be her, I don't know. But here's what I do know:"
Iago continues his other opinions on why he's quitting Destiny,
"There's no story to the game! I- Every quest is the same! You take your Ghost, you put it on a pedestal, you move, you kill a hundred monsters, you move to the next pedestal, you put him on it, you kill a hundred monsters, over and over and over again! But wait, there's boss monsters, right too, boss monsters- Ever boss monster in the game is the same! Although they look different, but they all have a million headpoints, that's it, that's the whole give it! How about this guy? A million headpoints. How about this guy? A million headpoints. How about this guy? THREE million headpoints... We're on heroic mode! WOOOOO! Diversity in my game, hot damn!"
The parrot then sighs and says,
"Goddamn that game. Pisses me off. And you know what, they tell me on Twitter: 'Hey Iago, go rate the gwalior.' ...That's how you tell a story now, Bungie? Are you fucking kidding me? I have to go read a fucking eBook on a website? You know, the whole point of gaming is the storytelling, interactive storytelling! Would you tell the elements of the story and the game I'm playing, I feel like I'm part of the world? You know what doesn't make me feel like part of the fucking world? Reading an eBook on my fucking PHONE! WOO, I'm learning! All about this horse shit! Goddamn it! I fucking quit."
Iago then exclaims his last opinion,
"And then I'm fucking- On disc DLC gets leaked... You wanna know why there's plot holes in the story? Because there's twelve story missions... THAT ARE AVAILABLE AT THE FUCKING LAUNCH OF THE GAME! ...Goddamn it..."
He then somehow calms down a bit, taking a few moments of deep breaths, and then asks his last question about Destiny,
"Why was Peter Dinklage taking sedatives, on the day he filmed the voice of the Ghost?! ...Sons of bitches... The same company who invented Master Chief, made a character I don't get a SHIT ABOUT."
Iago finally calms down majorly,
"Fix your fucking game...sons of bitches..."
Iago sighs.