Jeff opens his eyes, His alarm clock ringing like crazy announcing that it was another day,
One more Monday.
He sits up, His hair looking like a birds nest.
He rubs his eyes, The clacking of his father's boots scratching the wooden floor.
He suddenly realizes that his father isn't supposed to be up yet, He doesn't go to work until 9:00.
He bolts up out of bed, He searches for his alarm clock. He is so frighted,
He had forgot where the damn thing was located. He finally finds it, Up on his nightstand where it always is.
Jeff hits himself on the forehead for being so stupid, He looks at the numbers on the clock.
8:30 AM.
He had over-slept, His father would come in here any minute and notice that he ain't at school,
Where he is supposed to be. What am I gonna do.
Jeff rushes to get grabs his shoes, Not waiting to put them on,
He tosses them over his shoulder. He opens his window, Trying to be as quite as possible,
He looks over his shoulder, He can hear foot-steps coming towards his door.
He can see his father's shadow underneath the door.
Jeff panics, He practically throws himself out his window, Landing on the metal fire escape ladder.
He moans as his back lands hard on the steel. He quickly covers his mouth.
His father opens the door, Jeff ducks down low.
Tears slowly coming to the surface. Jeff can feel his heartbeat pumping frantically.
His nerves were all haywire, He could just sense the reaction of his father, Seeing it in the back of his mind, What his father would do to him if he found him out here.
Jeff was lucky, His father didn't even notice the opened window.
He just cut off that god awful alarm clock and walks out the room,
Jeff curses himself for not cutting the damn thing off earlier.
He waits a few minutes to gather his composure before heading down the ladder.
He didn't know weather to go to school or not, He was scared that if he did that his father would still find out about him being late, They'd surely call him and let him know that his son came to school late.
So Jeff just went around town, Not really doing anything.
He'd tell his teachers tomorrow that he was sick and had a doctors note,
They'd ask where the note is but I'll just tell em that I had forgot it and that I would bring it in next school day
Whenever that may be. Jeff was enjoying not having to deal with all those classes and their stupid home work assignments, He was thinking of doing this more often, Who would find out.
Jeff thought about it, What if his teachers called his dad about him not showing up for school?.
What could he do then, He began to panic once again.
He goes through so many panic attacks, He's learned tricks to help himself calm down.
sometimes it works and sometimes it don't.
He counts to ten, Each number he breaths in heavily and then waits a second before breathing out,
He does this for each number called out, It helps but sometimes he still has a hard time to catch his breath.
His doctor, The last time he saw him about three months ago "Let's see... yeah three months" Jeff speaks out aloud, He had to think about but he was sure that's how long ago it was, Anyways His doctor even suggested that Jeff needed a inhaler but his dad heard the price for it and wasn't about to pay that much just for some little damn trinket. "If the boy can't breath on his own then I guess he's just fucked." His father stated to the doctor, Just a few feet away from Jeff. Jeff could remember the look on the doctor's face,
A mixture of anger and pity.
How Jeff wished someone would save him from his father,
Just pick him up one day and take him somewhere where he can actually breath.
He would day-dream about it, The police smashing their door in, Calling out his name.
Arresting his father and putting him in handcuffs while in the back of the police car.
Jeff taken to another family, One that actually loved each other.
But for all the people who knew what was going on, would just rather let it continue, They'd walk away.
That was something that Jeff couldn't understand, I thought you were supposed to call if you had any suspicion of abuse, What they think my dad cares for me, Yeah he cares about beating me.
Jeff finally is able to stop the attack, He gets up from the concrete that he was sitting down on.
He walks back out onto the main road. He pushes through the massive crowd.
People coming and going, From one storefront to the next.
Jeff wished he had some money, He was starving.
He takes a glance at his watch, 9:21 AM.
"Well dad's at work now. I could go home, Grab a bite to eat." Jeff whispers.
He decides to do that but first he has to pass through the playground,
May sound harmless to you but this isn't your ordinary playground.
This playground has thugs and hustlers, Drug dealers, Hookers,
Male prostitutes hanging around instead of children playing.
This was what I grew up in, This pitiful excuse for a neighborhood.
He grabs his pocket knife from the inside of his coat pocket, Just in case anyone tries anything.
He had experiences before with some of these dudes. Some that he cared to forget about.
One of the drug dealers tried to sell him some "Sweets" As he called them but when Jeff refused,
The man grabbed him pulling him close, He started groping Jeff,
Jeff who was just 13 and a half at the time learned his lesson,
He would never come through this part of town without some kind of protection.
That last time, He was lucky. Matthew was still around to defend him.
But now that he was all alone, He'd have to be the one to defend because there was no-one else who would.
Jeff had made it through without a incident.
He starts to run towards his apartment complex.
His friends were probably hanging out at "The spot."
Jeff would swing by there later, Right now he just wanted some food and drink.
He gets up to his floor.
"Jeff, What are you doing. Ain't you got school today, Your dad ain't gonna like this."
Jeff rolls his eyes, One of the neighbors.
Everyone likes to call her miss busy-body.
She's always nosing around, In everyone's business but her own.
"Hey miss Sherwood, I didn't go to school today cause I had a doctor's appointment,
My dad knows about it so it's okay." Jeff waves good-bye while hurrying to get the door unlocked.
Once inside of the apartment, He can hear her mumbling, She always talks to her-self.
Jeff ignores her and goes to find something to eat.
10: 27 AM
After a nice sized bowl of soup, and a few sodas Jeff turns off the t.v.
He had watched all that he wanted too, Plus all his favorite shows were already over with.
He decides to head out over to "The spot" and see what his so called friends were up too,
Probably smoking and looking at magazines that's about all they do.
But he might aswell head on over there.
10:36 AM
He makes it to "The spot" A old abandoned house, With it's white chipped paint peeling off the moldy wood.
"Hey Jeff, Ain't you supposed to be at school?." Chad asks.
"I overslept." Jeff admitted.
They slap hands, "Well, Nice to see you joining our side for a change.
Your dad ain't gonna be happy about it though." Chad stats.
"Whatever, Hand me one of those." Jeff says
Micheal throws a magazine his way.
"That is the June issue.
There's one photo in there, I could stare at all day man."
Micheal makes a motion for big boobs.
Jeff smirks and flips through the magazine.
"So what yall been up too?." Jeff asks.
Micheal shrugs, Chad is too busy to even look Jeff's way and Jay-Jay is well,
He is comforting himself, A enough said about that.
Jeff can't help but get a little hard when he hears Jay-Jay moaning.
He tries to think of something that would make it go away but after a minute or two with nothing changing
he decides he'll just have to go and take care of it.
"Man, I gotta piss. Be right back." Jeff lies
"Jeff man, What ya doing?, You piss yet." Chad asks.
Jeff hurries to zip back up his pants.
"Don't you know the meaning of privacy?." Jeff asks.
Chad shrugs.
11:53 AM
Jeff says good-bye to the gang and heads back home.
He had thought of just sleeping the rest of the day away at-least until his dad got home anyways.
His dad got pissed if Jeff even so-much as slept during the day, He'd always say there was work to do.
Always work and if you didn't have any then he'd surely find you something to do.
Jeff hated everything about his life, He hated even breathing.
Another day to mark off the calendar was all he thought of the days passing.
There was really no meaning, He wouldn't be sorry if he didn't wake up from sleep,
He really didn't see any reason why to still be living, Day in day out is was always the same.
Yelling, Fighting, Hurting, Pain, Hatred, loathing and despair is his life.
Those are the words he'd use to describe his life.
What he wouldn't do to just take his father's prized gun and shoot.
"Jeff , What the hell you doing home." Gilbert shouts.
Jeff stares blank-faced at his father.
"Answer me boy."
Jeff stutters "I...I..ov..."
"SPIT IT OUT BOY."
"I over slept."
Gilbert brings his hand back, Jeff braces for the hit.
"Dad!, Jeffrey."
Gilbert stops, He turns around to the direction of the voice.
Jeff looks over his father's shoulder.
"MATT!." Jeff yells running over to his older brother, He pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.
Gilbert scowls. "What are you doing here, I thought you'd notify me before coming over,
I could have picked you up."
"I wanted to surprise you." Matt replies.
"Well you sure did that, Give your old man a hug huh." Gilbert announces.
Matt looks at Jeff "Let me go." He whispers.
Matt walks over to Gilbert, His father and hugs him.
"You hungry, I can fix you something." Gilbert asks.
"Nah, I had something on the train but thank you."
Jeff heads to his room, "I'm gonna go clean up, I'm sure you both have alot of talking to do."
Matt smiles "I'll come in there in a bit, I've got something for ya."
Jeff smiles back "Okay."
Jeff can hear his father telling Matt that he doesn't deserve anything for skipping school.
Jeff throws his coat down.
"Damn you, I hate you!."
Jeff sits down on his bed, His emotions getting the best of him, He begins to cry.
"Why do I have to live like this."
TBC