Chapter 7 - I know you're scared, I am too
*A/N - Hope you enjoy this chapter&leave your opinion! thanks for reviews, follows, favourites & PM's!
Every opinion is considered and help me to proceed with my story, I appreciate it!:)
Ever happen to you where you've written a complete 4,000 word chapter and forgot to save and your laptop overheats? Yeah well it
happened to me and severely pissed me off so I had to re-write it all that's the cause of the update time-gap, haha.
So, in my opinion in the books Ana, at times, is seen as shy and weak but I think she sticks up for herself when she needs to..Or atleast she learns to? Ana has some balls on her! She just needs to use them with Christian more often..(If you're anything like me you will be think of the silver balls, but no, not them ones this time!;-) )
I can't help cheesy-ness, oooooookay? Or anything-else-ness for that matter;)
Btw I'm ill, crycry but hey ho! Enough moaning, it's time for chapter 7..
Thanks for reading!
~Chelsea!*
Christian's P.O.V
I notice Elliot on the phone, to whom I think is Grace.
Just then, there is a small stir in my arms.
Ana's eyes very slowly flutter open and she groans before mumbling.
"What..What happened?" She must then realise I am the one who is holding her and stiffens.
"Ana, you're okay." I breathe out, and she replies, "I..I think so."
I bring her closer and kiss her hair, god I've missed holding her close.
She pushes me away and shuffles back so we're our bodies are no longer in contact and I stare at her.
"Christian, you can't just show up and expect everything to be okay! I needed you and you throw it in my face by basically telling me it's my fault and I made a mistake! It was BOTH of our faults, okay? And whether you like it or not you've gotta man-the-fuck-up 'cause you're becoming a parent, god damn you Christian Grey! You make everything so..hard."
I don't remember Ana ever being this..Fiesty? Angry? In a weird way it kinda turns me on but I need to push away my thoughts of sex for a while, all I need to think about now is getting Ana back home with me..Where she belongs.
"Ana, I'm sorry okay? I've been talking with Flynn, and he made me realise..I'm scared that I'm gunna be just a bad a parent as my
crackwhore mother. I was angry, okay? I still am but I figured it's my fault too..The one time I don't wear a damn condom, huh? just my
luck..I know I took it out on you but I'm really sorry baby, please please please forgive me and move back home with me? I love you
Anastasia Steele and you're the only one for me."
Every word of what I said is true and I hope she see's that..I've always felt like those big blue eyes pierce right through me and can see into my soul or something, reading me like a book, and we all know Ana loves to read.
She's just sitting there staring at me looking fed up and deep in thought.
"Ana..Say something." I plead, desperately seeking her to see my forgiveness.
"I..I need you to clear something up for me Christian." This can't be good..
"Anything baby." She looks me dead in the eyes and I can see the sadness, angriness and confusion swarming her pupils.
"Where the fuck do I stand with you?! One minute you don't want this baby the next you're looking at the sonogram with tears dwelling in your eyes and then you're all angry shouting at me, blaming me! And now.." She scoffs. "..And now you want me back in your life..Just like that? As for your little speech; I'm glad Flynn made you see sense but I'm ashamed of you Christian..You've had two wonderful parents who love you unconditionally, why can't you model your own parenting skills from theirs instead of thinking of your god-damn birth mother! She loved you in her own way, at least..So why can't you love this child Christian?"
I just stand there, numb..Feeling like I've just been scolded and slapped in the face. I know she's right, I'm just scared to admit the truth.
Ana's P.O.V
I can't believe the anger that has overcome my tears, instead of crying I'm shouting at him. It feels better than weeping about it, this way atleast he will listen and understand whether he likes it or not. I think it must be these damn pregnancy hormones.
"Well Christian, I think it's time you made up your mind."
He looks like a lonely little boy, and that thought then makes me imagine him as a little 4 year old scared boy with copper curls and a dirty body, being shouted at by his crackwhore-mother..The thought brings a tear to my eye and I swallow before I start full-on sobbing.
He's still just stood there, frozen. He looks like he's about to cry or be beaten up..Frightened and scared, my fifty.
Instead of waiting for him to speak I just wrap my arms around him and began to gently cry and it takes a few seconds of realising, before Christian replicates my actions and even began to cry, too.
What? Christian..Crying? Maybe everyone IS right, maybe I have changed him into a different, more loving person.
I guess he's feeling as vulnerable as I am whilst he gently rocks back and forth holding me to his chest whilst burying his face in my hair
and whispering things "My Ana, mine." Into my now-damp hair.
I am shocked and in awe of Christian right now..Here is the man who used to never show a thread of emotion or let anyone touch him,
letting me hold him whilst he sobs into my hair..Have I done this? Have I broken him down?
"I'm sorry Christian, I'm just..sorry."
He gently pulls away and looks me in the eyes, those beautiful grey eyes clouded with tears staring at me deeply then he starts to gently shake his head.
"No Ana. It's my fault, all of it's my fault. I was the one who wasn't happy about this but, normal partners would be ecstatic but I
wasn't..And, I'm so sorry I pushed you to the point of leaving. But please, Ana, don't EVER leave me again. My life is cold and empty without you, just like before. You are the only meaning of my life, and now.." He placed his hand on my stomach. "..Also is this little intruder."
Then he did something which made me cry even more, he smiled before leaning down and whispering to my stomach; "Hey there baby, I'm your daddy. I'm sorry for not being a great daddy as soon as I knew about you, but that will change trust me. Me and mommy love you so much already." Then he kissed my stomach before leaning back up again to kiss away my happy tears.
"I love you Christian Grey, no matter what stupid mistakes you make, me and jellybean will never ever leave you again."
"But, how can I be sure?" He almost looks sad, like he predicts something will happen that will make me leave him.
"Aslong as you don't cheat and forever love me, I give you my word that I will never leave you again. Christian, I love you..Can't you see that?"
He nods slowly but then shoots his head up to look at me with his million-dollar grin, like a lightbulb pinged over his head.
"You love me, right?" He asks me.
"Is that a trick question, Christian?"
"Oh that smart mouth of yours Anastasia." His deep, husky voice makes me squirm and sends a vibe all the way down to.."Marry me, Ana."
"I..I don't.." I am completely shocked by what he came out with. Then we hear a gasp followed by..happy(?) tears and turn to see Grace standing in the doorway.
"Grace! How..How long have you been standing there?" I wonder just how much of that she heard, just my luck if she heard it all..
"Enough to know there's going to be a baby Grey, and possibly another Mrs Grey!" Surprisingly she's happy and rushes over to the couch to lock both me and Christian in a tight squeeze.
When she releases us, she's both in shock and awe. Possibly because she over-heard our conversation, but I think it's more-so because Christian didn't repel her physical contact. There goes them happy tears again.
"How far along are you Ana?" I had to think hard because there were so many things whizzing around my head
"Erm, 9 weeks. Only me, Christian, Kate, Elliot, Ray and now you know about it..I wasn't planning on telling because..Well, yeah." I feel
ashamed to even admit I was considering anything other than keeping my baby, but I know now that's the only option..Especially since
Christian has finally accepted it as happy news. Let's just hope he doesn't have a mood swing and everything goes south..But I doubt he'll want me to leave, especially considering his proposal to me.
My thoughts wandered off as Christian leant over and whispered in my ear, "We'll talk about it later." I mentally scoff, Mind reader. I give him a tight smile and nod, trying not to reveal my nervousness.
"So, what happened that scared Christian and Elliot, Ana?" Grace turned to me with a smile.
"Noth..Oh, I erm, fainted. I came downstairs for a drink and snack because I was feeling a little faint and then I saw Christian. My head felt dizzy again and I tried to cling onto the wall but I guess I just..collapsed."
Grace gave Christian a 'hmmm, really?'-look then Christian's head dropped down. I couldn't help but giggle a bit, which made Christian's
head pop back up and smile at me.
"Well, it's important to drink plenty of fluids and eat healthy, but no doubt Christian will help you with that." Grace said, which made me
smile.
"And you!" She turned to Christian again. "No more overwhelming Ana." He nodded at her like an obediant child.
After Grace examined me with her kit to make sure I was fine, we left Elliot's saying goodbye's to Kate and Elliot. Kate didn't seem too
happy about me going back to Christian but..Well it's hard to explain, other than I love him too much to not be with him. It pained me
harshly when I left him.
...
Thinking back, this is the best thing to do (going back to Christian,) right? His actions were wrong but my actions would be even worse if I left him for good. I'm still considering what I'm going to say about his proposal, as I just have that doubt in the back of my mind that; as soon as I say yes I'm going to be Anastasia Grey, the wife of Christian Grey who everyone probably thinks got pregnant and married him because I'm a gold-digger..No longer Anastasia Steele, the innocent bookworm who dreams to be an editor or possibly a writer, one day.
"We're home." Christian's looking at me with a soft look to his piercing grey eyes.
"Uh, yeah."
We walk into the penthouse and I know as soon as I stepped through the door that Christian wants to talk about his proposal, so I wanted to postpone that talk for aslong as possible..Do I love him? More than anything! But, do I want to marry him? I honestly don't know why but this doubt at the back of my mind is eating away at my brain.
"Christian, I'm gunna have a bath and go change."
He replies with a simple, "Okay baby." I turn to face him and see he's already head-first on his blackberry probably working, that's the first time I'm actually glad I'm being ignored for work.
The bath is making me feel really sleepy so after the whole washing routine I get out of the warm water in search of a suitable top of
Christian's to wear to bed.
I feel my eyes starting to droop and before I know it, I'm flat out in bed wearing just Christian's top.
...
Christian's P.O.V
I've been sitting in my office for the past..God knows how long! I still can't believe Ana got inside my head, knew exactly what I was
thinking. Well it certainly proves one thing, she's the one.
If you asked me how I thought I would spend the rest of my life about 4/5 months ago(before I ever met Ana,) then I would have you told you; alone bar my family, Gail and my security. I once thought I had everything, but since Ana stumbled into my office I realised I had quite the opposite..You have nothing if you don't have someone to love. Yeah sure I had my family, but that's a different kind of love. Ana(and Jellybean,) will be my meaning of life from now on. Speaking of, where is Ana? Surely she's not still in the bath.
I swatt-away my thoughts and leave my office in search of Ana.
I walk into the bedroom to find Ana sound asleep in my top, what a perfect sight.
I love watching her sleep and don't really want to wake her but she hasn't eaten since god knows when.
"Ana, Ana baby wake up." I whisper to her..no movement. "Ana, come on baby time to wake up." I talk quietly into her ear this time and she starts to wake up.
"Wh..What time is it?" She yawns whilst stretching.
"Half past 8 baby, but you need to eat before going to bed..Come on, I'll heat up some mac and cheese for you."
"Really? You'll heat it up..For me? Ah Mr. Grey, I feel honoured, how romantic." Her smart mouth makes my palms twitch and my dick stand on end.
"You and your smart mouth Miss Steele. You better stop talking and get dressed before I teach you a lesson, right here on the bed."
"What if I want to be taught a lesson?" She says quietly whilst peeking up at me through her lashes, showing me that lovely blush to her cheeks. I can't help but give a small chuckle at her eagerness.
"Careful Miss Steele. You have to eat before anything." I say in my CEO voice, so she knows I'm being serious.
She sighs, "Fine."
...
Whilst she finishes her second bowl of Mac n Cheese I remember that we still need to discuss my proposal to her.
"Finished, Ana?"
She nods her head whilst taking a drink of tea.
"Good. So, how about your answer now?" She starts to choke on her tea. I get up and gently pat her back. This isn't the reaction I was
looking for.
"Christian, I love you so much but I don't know if I'm done being Ana Steele yet..It seems so sudden, you understand where I'm coming
from?"
"But hasn't everything been sudden when it comes to us?"
"Touche Mr. Grey. But seriously Christian, let me think about it okay? Besides, don't you need to be traditional and ask Ray for your
blessing?" Oh shit, hadn't thought about that. I guess Ana realised she made a good point because she's now smirking at me.
"Fair point Miss. Steele, I plan on doing so as soon as."
"So, how about you teach me those lessons now?" Ana smirks at me. Playful Ana, I like it.
"Lead the way, Miss Steele."
*A/N - So, did you like the chapter? Pleaseeee leave me a review of your honest opinion! I except CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, thank you!*