Author's Note: Whew, this came out way behind even my most generous expectations. Here I was thinking that working in a job that requires literally no thinking would be good for ideas that I could put into writing when I got home.
Well, the first part worked out. Second? Not at all.
A stunned silence filled the stadium.
Then one voice cried out. "Ike!" Lucina broke from the crowd and raced for the competitor's platform before anyone else had even processed that she was moving. She was almost to the top of the small staircase, leaping up the steps three at a time, before Master Hand swooped in and gently but firmly restrained her by pinching two fingers around her legs.
She struggled furiously in response. "Let me go!"
"Patience, Lucina. Your concerns may yet be unwarranted."
She didn't think so, but short of using her weapon to cut his fingers off there was nothing she could do. So the princess was forced to stand there, waiting alongside everyone else with bated breath while the thick brown smoke lazily drifted away and dissipated, oblivious to the all tension.
The crimson glow of a shield suddenly shone through a gap in the cloud of thick brown smoke. Cries of astonishment and sighs of relief quickly changed to applause as the sight of Ike, in a defensive stance but otherwise unharmed, became clearer. The Radiant Hero dropped his shield, giving a wave of acknowledgement and thanks to the spectators, before making to leave the platform.
Master Hand had flown back to the commentator's box to announce a temporary halt, allowing Lucina to meet Ike at the top of the steps.
"Ike...oh Gods, are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine, I managed to perfect-shield it."
"Thank Naga..." She threw her arms around him. "I was so worried you'd been hurt or - or even..." The thought was too revolting to finish.
"Lucina, thank you for your concern, but this isn't the time nor the place." His reply was tense, causing her to let go and back away quickly. Fortunately, neither Chrom or Robin was paying attention at the moment, but several other Smashers had seen what happened. "We don't want anyone to feed your father false rumors."
"Of course."
Just then, Master tapped the microphone with one finger to signal the start of his announcement. "Attention! The tournament will be suspended for a few hours!" Though the crowd began to murmur amongst themselves at this news, he continued on. "Crazy and I will conduct an investigation of what has just happened, and until it is complete, the platforms are to be closed off. Any entry will be considered interfering with the investigation and disciplined as such."
He paused before continuing on, anger palpable in his tone. "If anyone is found to have tampered with the game, there will be severe punishment in store for them. An accident is one thing, but sabotage for the purpose of maiming one of your fellow Smashers is absolutely unacceptable. That is all."
Even before he was done, people started leaving in twos and threes either through the entrance that led back to Smashville or into the mansion itself, discussing things to do during the break. Meanwhile, the hands flew over the top of the stadium and out of sight, heading back to their office.
"Well, that's disappointing," Ike commented as he and Lucina searched for their friends.
"I hope the Hands live up to their warning of severe punishment," she growled, fists clenched. "That could have killed you if you didn't react fast enough."
"Hey, there's no need to be so wound-up over it for my sake." He gently uncurled her right fist, her other hand relaxing on its own once he'd done so. "Just leave it to them; they're fair about it and taking matters into your own hands will only land you in trouble too."
"I didn't - "
"I know you didn't say you had intentions of going after whoever did this, but such anger is the start of a precarious slide. If that announcement wasn't made, and you thought they weren't going to investigate, you might have gone off and done something rash. I don't want that to happen to you, my affairs are not worth losing your standing for."
Before she could respond they stumbled upon the people they were looking for.
"Ah, there they are. Anyways, someone got an idea as to how we can pass the next few hours?" Sonic asked, one arm on a stone pillar.
Lucina raised an eyebrow. " I thought you might have better knowledge of this place than us, seeing as you're a veteran?" Meanwhile Link had moved forward and tapped Ike on the shoulder, signalling to him that they had something private to discuss. The Radiant Hero glanced back apologetically at her before separating, the gesture going unnoticed by Lucina herself.
"I tend to be fickle-minded, hence why I leave the decision-making to others," Sonic was saying.
"No, it's because you still don't know your way around here, or you forgot since last time." The jab had, unexpectedly, come from Mega Man.
"Man, how many times do I have to say that the rest of us don't have life so easy - "
"What would you know of our struggles?" Elec Man stood from behind his brother.
"Are you for real, our freaking worlds first collided and then almost merged and you think I don't know anything? I've fought Wily too, remember!"
Lucina bit her lip as she watched the argument progress, unsure of what to do. She was hoping Link, Zelda, or some other calmer mind might intervene, but no such luck. The others were nowhere to be seen, and Ike had somehow slipped away too without her noticing.
"Why am I like this? I would never sit on the sidelines while my friends back home bickered...is it just that I don't feel connected to them? Or is it that I'm still too intimidated to speak - ?" A sudden weight pushed her backwards, startling the swordswoman out of her thoughts just in time to keep from falling. Elec Man, though also unharmed from the sudden encounter, was beginning to show danger signs.
"Getting physical is one thing, but harming bystanders is another entirely!" His volt-blue eyes narrowed and darkened until they resembled miniature thunderstorms, and his hands were sizzling with raw energy, straining to be unleashed.
"Wait, there's no need to fight, we should talk this out - !"
"Enough, this is getting out of hand!" Suddenly, Ike was back. As Elec Man seemed most willing to fight the Radiant Hero reached for his arm to restrain him. The Robot Master realized what was about to happen and yanked his arm back, but as he did so his wrist cuff, the only conductive part of his arm, brushed against Ike's hand.
The power that Elec Man had barely held in check surged through its new escape route to the ground with a brilliant flash and a crackle. Ike spasmed violently, twelve thousand volts tearing through his nervous system, and collapsed with wisps of smoke curling from his prone form.
For the second time in minutes Lucina screamed his name and ran to his side in a panic. The blue duo witnessing the scene exchanged looks of despair.
"...That wasn't supposed to happen..." Sonic mumbled.
"No shit, we're screwed. Dammit, it was going almost perfectly until then too."
"This is decidedly the last time I am going to involve myself in any affairs with your girlfriend, Rock Light," Elec Man growled.
"How was I supposed to know that Link's distraction fell short? I might be good at calculating and planning but with variables up in the air my guess is still a guess!"
Sonic sighed. "Well, so much for trying to get Lucina to feel like she's important to us - "
"What in the name of Iwata is going on here?!"
"I don't think I've ever heard him that angry, and I was there the moment Ganondorf freed him from Tabuu."
"Shut up and let me do the talking - "
"You have ten seconds to explain yourselves, both of you!"
"...I hate my life right now." Mega Man grumbled, and reluctantly began recounting what happened to the Hands, minus the part about how the whole argument was staged and why.
To their temporary relief Master Hand said nothing before turning to the extremely-distraught Lucina, who was desperately shaking her friend's unresponsive form, whimpering something unintelligible. The god pushed her back and began examining Ike, with such swiftness and force that she didn't protest.
"Take him to the infirmary." Crazy Hand obeyed, wordlessly for once. Master Hand's tone was dangerous when he spoke again. "If he dies, consider yourselves evicted." He disappeared without another word, probably returning to his investigation.
"I...er...I suppose I should go see if he'll be okay." Lucina ran off before either Sonic or Mega Man could say anything.
"Well isn't this just a marvelous turn of events," Elec Man grumbled sarcastically.
"That's putting it lightly." Link had arrived, Zelda behind him. Neither was looking pleased. "Sorry about the miscommunication, Ike and I went to help a vendor and he disappeared in the midst of it. I asked Zelda to try finding him instead of going straight to warn you guys."
"Next time, would it hurt too much to leave delegating tasks to me?" she asked lightly, folding her arms.
"Um..." He was met with an intense glare. "No," he added quickly. "In my defense though, I just went along with the plan."
"We both did," Zelda amended. "Something I regret caving to now."
"Either way, he probably stopped helping for a reason. We must've been yelling louder than we thought, can't think of anything else that would divert his attention short of someone else asking him for help," Sonic guessed.
"I suppose we should put any other schemes of this nature on hold then - "
"While you're at it, write me out of them will you, Rock?" Elec Man stalked off at that, in no small part because Master Hand was returning.
"You're not going anywhere," he said simply and the Robot Master zoomed into the hand's grasp as though he were being reeled in.
"Master Hand, please understand - " Link began, but the deity cut him off.
"I appreciate that you want to defend your friends, Link, but I wish to have my word with them first."
"Of course, sir."
"I take it Ike will survive then?" Elec Man grumbled from within the hand's grasp.
"He will, but not by much." He now focused on the blue duo, squeezing the electric robot harder when the latter initially did not take the hint to shut up. "Link had told me that this was part of a plan to help your friend, and for that I will let you off this once. Let me make it clear, however: This is the exception, not the rule."
"Yes sir. What about Elec Man?"
"He's getting his punishment now." Master Hand suddenly passed Elec Man to his brother like a basketball as he spoke. The robot master rebounded slightly off his palm owing to the rubber insulation covering most of his body, but Crazy snapped him back up in one swift motion. The hand sighed with disappointment - he had hoped the robot would bounce higher on his own - and summoned a bounce pad with a flicking motion. A few bounces later and he had settled into a rhythm, despite the poor robot's loud protests.
"Now then, if you don't mind me asking, what caused this...unorthodox means of making friends?" Master Hand asked, slowly turning back to the others.
"Well, it wasn't exactly making friends - " Sonic began, but a look from Rock was enough to remind the hedgehog what the former said earlier.
"We were...trying to help Lucina fit in," he began cautiously. When Master Hand didn't respond he took it as a cue to continue. "She's been...feeling left out recently, as if we don't care about her or that she isn't worth anything to us. So I thought forcing her to break up an argument might be a way to boost her self-esteem a little bit."
Master Hand muttered to himself before responding. "I see. But do please try to find a less-dangerous method of execution. Now if you have no other matters to discuss with me, I will tell Crazy to let your brother go."
"Thank Asimov..." Elec Man groaned between bounces.
"Actually, there was one other matter I meant to bring up - "
"I HATE YOU, ROCK LIGHT!"
"What is it?"
"Well, Sonic told me that the Smashville newspaper wants to interview everyone and goes to some serious lengths to do it at least once for each fighter. Isn't that harassment past a certain point?"
Master Hand chuckled. "Is that what he told you? Well, it might interest you to know that Sonic bothered everyone who didn't want an interview into getting one in the hopes that someone might say something stupider than what was in his." Suddenly a microphone went flying in his direction, courtesy of Crazy Hand. Out of reflex the creator caught it, then looked disappointed with himself for doing so. "Fine, you win, Crazy." He dropped it and turned to leave, shaking from side to side in exasperation. Crazy Hand smacked Elec Man-extra hard against the pad and snatched it away, leaving him to fall to the ground, making no attempt to conceal his good mood at the entire situation. Thankfully, the robot master retained enough of his reflexes to land - messily - on his feet.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Sonic grumbled, as Rock started laughing. "Just completely ignore your very pissed-off brother while he's preparing to fry you."
"He knows he deserves worse by laws of our world." The mirth in his expression and tone was entirely gone. "We'll have a bit of a debate later and that will be the end of it; if he harms now, then me I'm mandated by the Laws to kill him. As angry as he is, he won't forget that." Both androids let the ensuing silence hang before heading into the mansion.
"Seems like we've all got something in our lives to make them miserable," Link muttered. Spoken assent from the others wasn't necessary.
Ike had barely come around when Lucina barreled through the entrance of the medical ward. Before he could open his mouth to warn her, the poor princess slid on an errant banana peel and landed flat on her back.
"I keep telling Diddy to throw those in the trash," Dr. Mario grumbled as he emerged from his office. "You stay put; doctor's orders," he directed at Ike as the latter stood to help his friend get back up. "Are you alright, Lucina?"
"Yes, I'll be fine. Who left that there?"
The completely-not-a-fake-doctor sighed. "Diddy Kong came in here earlier and left it on the floor - "
"Come off it, Dr. Mario, everyone knows you leave those around as reminders to not run in the medical ward." Ike was now glaring at him. Dr. Mario hastily backed away from Lucina, but to his relief she ignored him entirely and just headed over to the Radiant Hero's side. That was the cue for him to scramble back into his office before the princess changed her mind.
"What did Dr. Mario say? Are you going to be alright?" She asked, panting slightly in an attempt to catch her breath.
He stared incredulously. "You ran all the way here, on a hot day nevertheless, then slipped on a banana peel, causing you to almost do a flip before landing flat on your back, and yet it's my well-being that occupies your mind first? You aren't even mad at Dr. Mario for leaving it out?"
"I'm fine, Ike. I'm wearing my armor, it offers some cushioning."
Clearly she didn't care about the less-than-moral logic behind the trap so he let it drop. Her loss. "There's still the matter of you sprinting here." He gestured at the water cooler near the entrance. "Armor would only make that worse. You should drink something otherwise you'll be dehydrated; I'm still alive and talking, so whatever diagnosis Dr. Mario handed me obviously isn't life-threatening."
Lucina looked like she wanted to press the matter but after a moment she capitulated and obeyed his advice.
"Dr. Mario thinks there won't be lasting harm," he informed her once she returned to the seat by his bedside. "But he wants me to take it easy for the rest of the day. Bed rest for at least a few hours, then noting strenuous until tomorrow."
"A - Alright. That's a relief to hear." She relaxed visibly, her posture adapting a noticeable slouch.
"Now that I've told you how I'm doing, how are you? It really won't hurt you to care a little more about yourself, you know."
"A little stressed over the events of the past hour, but it will pass."
Ike nodded. "I see." An awkward silence elapsed until he cleared his throat. "If...you don't mind me asking, is there a particular reason you suddenly care so much about me?"
"Um..." She tensed and lowered her head slightly, though he still distinctly saw her blush. "Well...i - isn't being a close friend reason enough?"
"Of course it is. I was merely curious." There was no way he was believing that alibi, especially after Lucina relaxed again upon dismissal of the matter, but her privacy wasn't his to intrude on. The silence returned.
"I...I should be going now," Lucina mumbled after a while, glancing at a nearby clock. "The tournament will likely resume soon, and I need to find out who sabotaged that bomb - "
"Oh, for Gods' sakes, you're not still on about that, are you?" Ike didn't bother to hide his exasperation. "I warned you already that it's not worth it. I get that you care greatly about me, and I appreciate that - I really do. But there's a difference between caring and being overprotective, I'm fully capable of looking after myself! I'm sure the others would appreciate a little more compassion from you; seeing as you're reserving it all for me, it's no wonder they think you don't care!"
In hindsight, he shouldn't have been surprised, but nonetheless seeing her recoil and pale with a shocked expression at his veiled accusation caught him off-guard. Her mouth remained agape for a little before she suddenly closed it and flushed a deep scarlet, lowering her gaze to the floor.
"I - I'm sorry...i - if y - you want me to stay away, then I'll respect that...thank you for your advice." She hurriedly left the ward without another word.
He stated at the entrance for a few moments before laying back with a groan. "I'm honestly not sure which of us was more surprised there..."
Four hours later
"Good luck," Link bid the Blue Bomber as the latter ascended, finally, for his turn at Target Blast. Sonic gave him a grin and thumbs-up of encouragement. As he took up position, he closed his eyes and focused on tuning out the background noise of the crowd, along with Master Hand's hype speech.
The Target Blast range began forming a course for him, pieces materializing in place with small flashes of light. A few minutes later, it finished. The resulting structure was a series of shells, made up of blocks of various materials, encasing the targets themselves.
A quick scan of it fed the composition of each layer to Mega Man's mechanical mind. The first layer consisted of thick stone blocks cemented together, while the ring closest to the center were made of wood pieces held in place only by the realm's magic. The layers in between were also made of stone, though much less thick than the outer shell and lacking any sort of bonding to keep them together.
"If I get the bomb through that first layer, the rest should be easy. That shell's thick enough to cause any blocks knocked loose to bounce around inside until they break or fly out. The problem is going to be penetrating it." He let himself stand there and run through various simulations, shutting out everything else. After a minute, he'd figured out where to hit it, and with what force to get the best result.
All that was left was how to achieve it. He had no attack that could launch it at the required angle, even before he considered the problem of putting adequate power behind it to break the structure's outer shell. Launching it into the force field that ringed the platform was an option, but without knowing precisely how the bomb would strike it there was no way to know where it would go.
Most other Smashers, if they'd even managed to be this methodical, would have just taken the chance. But Mega Man had one more advantage that few possessed: his massive strength, courtesy of Super Arm. Throwing the bomb would give it a degree of precision he couldn't guarantee otherwise, and he could put enough force behind it to crack the stone shell with just the impact alone. The blast wave could finish it off, leaving the interior wide open for the second bomb. It was heavier, but he calculated that he wouldn't need to throw it nearly as hard to destroy what was left, regardless of how much damage the first bomb caused.
"Well, there's no rule against it..." Mega Man strode forwards to the waiting bomb and rapped it with his hand. As he predicted, the impact was enough to start the countdown timer. For the first few seconds, he simply stood there, prompting whispers of confusion.
At eight, his body began to change, switching to a color scheme of mud-brown and white. As this was happening, his right arm suddenly swelled to almost three times its normal size with a flash, and the attached hand became noticeably thicker.
When four seconds were left, the stadium had fallen dead silent, watching with rapt attention as the Blue Bomber hefted the bomb effortlessly. The silence held as he wound up and threw it, giving the impression of throwing it as hard as he could but in actuality not sparing a newton more force than necessary. A sharp crack resonated as the bomb struck its mark, followed a second later by its explosion.
He'd anticipated the impact wiping out half of the targets inside at most. To his surprise, the explosion jostled the upper half of the inner rings loose, and gravity brought them down just as the lower halves, launched by the blast wave, flew in various directions. The result was a cataclysm of debris that shredded everything inside the stone shell as the various fragments collided and went in different directions.
Mega Man allowed himself to relax and remove the filters he'd placed on his senses as the scoreboard numbers scrolled up past the raw score that breaking all targets yielded.
Now he received another surprise as angry mutters reached his audioreceptors.
"You'd think he'd at least destroy everything if he cares so little about the rules."
"Why does he get to cheat because he's not human?"
"What a tryhard, it's like he's trying to stand out..."
"Might as well have killed all the other competitors, wouldn't be any less immoral to a war machine..."
Bracing himself, he started to make his way down. Scores of filthy looks and various expressions of disdain, mockery, and exasperation greeted him, though once again the various townsfolk wiped any trace of disrespect off their face when they saw him looking their way and either scrambled off or made an attempt to look busy.
Deciding that the sooner he shed his armor the better, Mega Man edged his way behind a vendor's cart and made sure no one was looking before de-armoring. The android promptly rejoined the crowd on the other side of his temporary hiding spot, sighing with relief as the crowd did not immediately begin staring at him. The angry mutterings hadn't ceased, however, and now that they didn't know where he was the speakers didn't bother keeping their voices down.
He could have easily tuned the noise out again, but something wouldn't let him. Public opinion was always important to listen to back home regardless of how much he hated it, when they, through their politicians, decided the fate of robotkind. Some habits just didn't die easily.
And it always had to be the bad ones.
"Hey, you missed us." Sonic grabbed his shoulder.
"Yeah?" He grumbled noncommittally. "Tell me something else I don't know."
"You would've plowed straight into Lucina if I didn't stop you. Though I've seen zombies in the worst of B-movies move with more coherence and speed than you, I'm pretty sure she would not like that."
"Since when did you care?"
"Sounds like someone's mood is highly incongruous with that of someone who's just likely claimed first place in the Target Blast tournament."
"Sonic, you're not helping," Link interrupted.
"I've yet to see anyone else say anything, non-constructive or otherwise," Rock growled, turning to leave.
"Rock, you know Sonic's always like that - " Lucina began reproachfully, grasping his arm to stop him. He threw it off irritably and kept walking away.
"That's it, I'm tired of him keeping a lid on things he knows shouldn't keep a lid on." Link had his Clawshot primed.
"Uh...I'm usually okay with some overkill, but do we really think we can talk to a pissed-off Mega Man?" Sonic asked.
"I'll take the chance." The Hero of Hyrule let it fly.
Just before it reached its mark, Pit managed to catch the business end with his face.
Link facepalmed. Sonic, as usual, was soon flat on his back and consumed with laughter. For her part Lucina was torn between horror and amusement, the end result being a rather silly and unbecoming expression for a princess of Ylisse. The crowd, meanwhile, was mostly laughing at Pit as he picked himself up off the ground, his hair parted straight along the middle of his head where one of the claw's prongs had cut some of it off and forcefully parted the rest.
"Oh dear, that look won't do at all," Palutena commented from right next to where her lieutenant had just been, sounding mildly amused.
Pit's groan only served to heighten the spectators' anticipation. The goddess tipped her staff at the angel's head, but instead of fixing his hair she merely summoned a dunce cap to cover it. To add insult to injury it was tilted at a precarious angle so it still left his mangled hair exposed.
"Well, it could have been worse," he thought, his hands moving to straighten it. The slight frown on Palutena's face, followed immediately by a mischievous smirk, made him realize he hadn't kept that as private as he'd thought. Given that the crowd was making obscene amounts of noise, she could just as easily have guessed his reaction, but it didn't matter now.
The rim of the hat suddenly expanded and it dropped over his face so it now covered his entire head. When he tried to pull it off it tightened so the rim was just wide enough to allow him to breathe freely. Where the hat couldn't shrink without crushing his head it molded, leaving an imprint of his face on the exterior. Recognizing that this was the time to just let things run their course Pit let his hands fall to his side and braced for whatever would come next.
Palutena let the crowd revel in Pit's predicament for a little bit before deciding to rescue him. Which, of course, constituted whisking him away by activating Power of Flight. The throng soon dispersed after that, the townsfolk chortling and completely forgetting their earlier sourness.
"These people," Rock spat suddenly from Link's side. "They're so disgustingly shallow-minded - what happened to your face?"
"Someone still had grease on their hand when they facepalmed," Sonic explained.
"I've looked worse, believe me," the former insisted. "Now, what were you saying about these townspeople?" The hedgehog took his cue to depart before he got dragged up in the conversation. Not wanting to accidentally eavesdrop on something, Lucina left too.
"They're so shallow-minded it's disgusting. As soon as some spectacle comes along they jump on it like rabid dogs, then jump to the next one without a care for the damage they leave behind."
"You seem particularly annoyed by that fact."
"Yeah, because I still have to put the lives of these crude degenerates ahead of my own given a choice."
"Who said that?"
"It's one of the founding principles of my world. Issac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics take all precedence before any other laws."
"Sounds like racism," Link said sympathetically after a pause. "What do those laws say specifically?"
"First Law says I can't harm a human, period. Second Law says I have to obey every command given to me by a human, no exceptions. Third Law says I have to protect my own existence only if doing so doesn't conflict with either of the others."
A brief pause before Link's indignity exploded. "And you lived with this bull for how long again?" He demanded, outraged.
"It's not important. I shouldn't be bothering you with this anyways."
"You need to stop hiding your own problems while helping others with theirs, that's not how a friendship works. If nothing else I haven't heard how this relates to what just happened. Can't you just ignore what they say?"
"You try kicking the habit when public opinion is a potential harbinger of the next world crisis. Not to mention an indicator of how much work is in the pipeline," he added with a grim chuckle.
"...what?"
"The people have pull in a democracy. If they riot, even the politicians at the top have to bow, or they'll get stampeded alongside everyone in the way. When it comes to a subject reviled at ground level but not at the top, you can imagine why I made it a habit to listen to what people say no matter how bad."
"Look, I said I don't agree with it, can you stop trying to bite my head off?"
The android made a noise between a sigh and a grumble in response but said nothing coherent, prompting Link to continue.
"I get that you have reason to care about what people think in your world. But, if you want my opinion, since this isn't a place where the sentiments of people bitter over a lost bet or their own shitty life can become a tangible threat, treat it as such. Hell, you can literally selectively listen, if anything it's easier for you than the rest of us."
There was no response for a little bit. "It does sound kind of paranoid to be so hung up over that, when you put it that way," Rock finally conceded.
"Can I take that for acceptance of my advice?"
"What brought that on? Sorry if that sounded rude, all of this is so different that I have to ask."
"Is it really that unnatural for a human to display compassion and concern for you?"
"I've heard and seen so many hollow sentiments that it's easier to identify this as 'not discernibly fake' than genuine."
"Aren't they essentially the same?
"One carries the connotation of being anomalous in the wrong way. In essence, it's a more negative way to put it. Of course, that small distinction hardly matters in casual conversation, and really doesn't here. Accurate use of language is just in my nature."
"If you say so. I'm being honest here when I say that there's no ulterior motive to me trying to cheer you up. Physically human or not, you still make a better human than a lot of actual humans. Even if that bar unfortunately isn't set very high sometimes. By the way, since some of us clearly aren't disposed to innately hate you, maybe you could trust us a little more? You just saw what it can do for you."
"Alright, Link, you got me."
"I would have thought you assumed different worlds play by different rules. Or at least you do within them."
Rock shrugged. "The way my AI works is it presumes a response set is appropriate until told otherwise by some stimuli. True proactive thinking can only be done within those limits; I'm not capable of truly independent thought."
Link let the silence hang until he finally asked the question. "So you're not human?"
The android responded with an uncharacteristically harsh laugh. "I do a pretty good impression of one, don't I?"
"Well, where's the difference? Physical composition is a moot point: anyone could have a completely mechanical body, or close to one, if they got enough transplants. There are some crazy people in Smashville who think that's cool."
"Well, I'm much more advanced than your everyday robot, even ones that are seemingly autonomous. Those kinds of robots are either programmed for only one task, or given a specific set of responses to choose from based on data. The conditions for a certain reaction have to be met exactly or within prescription tolerances, otherwise they don't know what to do. Naturally that bars them from any job above grunt work; there's no way the programmers could account for every possibility. That's where Robot Masters like Elec Man and I come in. Our AI is advanced enough to improvise based on both preprogrammed responses and knowledge that we have obtained. But we can't truly think independently either because our algorithms need a starting block, if you will, that had to be put in place by the creator. Since no human is completely objective, we never truly think for ourselves because the groundwork of our AI is the work of someone else, even though we get very close. That inability to start from true ground zero like a human is where we're lacking."
"I see." There really wasn't any other appropriate response, not while he was still digesting all the android had just revealed.
"You two done yet?" Sonic suddenly strode back into their midst, with Pit, free of his dunce cap but still sporting his mangled hair, in tow.
"We are now, that's for sure," Rock grumbled, but his voice had lost its earlier vitriol. "Where'd you find Pit?"
"In his room."
"Uh...that's, from what I heard...secured by Palutena," Link pointed out. "How exactly did you get away with breaking in?"
"I...uh, sort of borrowed Lucina as a decoy...? What, you wanted to make her feel like she was one of us!" He added defensively as a chorus of groans greeted his revelation.
"Sonic, didn't the whole fiasco just now prove that making someone bait is not how we should go about doing that? If you had to have a distraction, why not someone who's on better terms with you, like Zelda?"
"Eheh, well then...maybe I'll get off lighter for things not working out that way - ?"
"The hell you will." A very disheveled Lucina had returned, expression livid.
"Might I be have a moment to convince you that maiming him is not in your best interests, Lucina?" Zelda asked mildly from behind the swordswoman. The latter just nodded, not taking her eyes off Sonic until Zelda tapped her shoulder and signaled for the other princess to follow. One last death glare from over her shoulder went in the Blue Blur's direction, then they'd disappeared back into the crowd.
Pit was the one to break the silence. "So, uh, anyone doing anything once this competition is over?"
Lucina wasn't sure if she came out of her conversation with the princess of Hyrule feeling better or worse.
The anger at Sonic was long gone, but the talk hadn't done much to alleviate the embarrassment of the enchantment she'd walked straight into, or of knowing that Palutena's unusual - and frankly, slightly alarming - "reprimand" had been overheard by both Pit and his rescuer. The salt in the wound was that the angel himself had asked Palutena to let her go and not report the intrusion to Master Hand. Lucina had felt so humiliated upon realizing they'd heard everything that she ran from them, at least until she decided to track down Sonic and at least yell at him for putting her through that. Which in turn led to Zelda's anger-management talk and more secondhand embarrassment.
Overall, the whole incident only reinforced her perceptions of being the dependent among her friends and seen by others as childish. Briefly spotting Ike as he bought himself some food only worsened what was amounting to a minor inferiority complex when his words from earlier in the day came to mind.
"You should apologize to him," she admonished herself, "...if you want to stay in his good graces. The longer you anger him, the longer you'll have to put off admitting to him."
Before she'd even settled on a method of approach, her body was in motion, striding through the crowd with more purpose than she'd felt in a while, finally catching up to the Radiant Hero as he rejoined - "oh no..." - the last group Lucina wanted to overhear anything she was about to say, consisting of Marth, Mario, Rosalina, Peach, Robin, Shulk, and Chrom besides Ike himself. The princess stopped dead on her tracks and tried to wrestle down a spike of panic. She had no option but to get it right the first time.
So be it. This wasn't the first time she'd dealt with high stakes. The princess took a deep, calming breath, forced herself to relax and assume a natural posture, then spoke, forcing all her effort into keeping her voice even. "Pardon me, Ike, but I was wondering if you could spare a moment? I was hoping to have a word with you in private." Remembering courtesy she acknowledged her father and Robin immediately following her inquiry.
Completely unperturbed by her sudden arrival, he answered. "Of course. Please excuse me," he muttered to Marth before following her until they were a little ways off. "Alright, what did you need me for that had you so nervous? You were rigid as a board."
So much for assuming a natural posture. Lucina hung her head out of embarrassment at being noticed before replying. "Well, I wanted to apologize for bothering you earlier - "
"Stop right there. Firstly, that was my fault, I snapped at you when all you wanted to do was make sure I was okay. There's no reason for you to apologize when it was I who undeniably wronged you. Secondly, is something else troubling you? You're avoiding my eyes."
Hesitation. "I - I thought I did a better job of hiding it," the reply finally came in a small voice.
Ike chuckled, and moved closer, gripping her shoulders. This time, she didn't stiffen at all. "You're a lot of things, Lucina, but a good liar isn't one of them. I've never met someone else with the same level of honesty as you; it's only natural that concealing something might be more difficult to do as a result."
"Well, anyways, thank you for being so good-natured about it all. It...I felt terrible about possibly being a bother to you."
"I couldn't expect anything less of myself for such a terrible mistake. I'll make it up to you, too."
"Oh no, there's really not a need to - "
"But I want to. Please, allow me the chance to atone. I can't be left indebted to my friends when work is both spontaneous and dangerous. Gods knows when I would remember again or have the opportunity, never mind that the two have to occur in sync."
A shy smile broke across Lucina's face at that. Though it was sincere, she couldn't help but be a little timid about displaying emotions in a public setting. "Very well." She looked back quickly, over her shoulder to see what Chrom was up to, before darting in and giving him a quick hug. "See you later, Ike, and thank you." Another fleeting, shy grin, then the princess of Ylisse disappeared back into the crowd, leaving the Radiant Hero bemused.
"Is she always so affectionate in private, or does she think this has progressed beyond friendship?" He knew he would be hard-pressed to find any answer. There was nobody else from her time present, and not only would asking Chrom cause the Exalt to likely do something rash, but it was almost certain that he didn't know either.
A reminder that she was still his friend regardless surfaced in his mind, and with it came a plan. "I suppose I shouldn't automatically think her so naive to believe ours is a romantic relationship. Whatever problems understanding certain nuances she has, Lucina is far more intelligent and rational than that."
A week later
The announcement for mandatory assembly after breakfast had come without warning, but it was quite welcome as it could mean only one thing: whatever idea Crazy Hand had conjured was upon them.
Most were simply satisfied with having more to do than play morbid guessing games about what the deity had in mind. Crazy had earned his name, after all.
"Welcome, everyone," he began once his brother had taken roll call. "Seeing as my brother has tested your teamwork in the last tournament, I'll be doing something...a little different, yes."
Sensing that he had everyone's attention, Crazy paused for effect. "I seek to test your strength as individuals. But a simple set of mono e mono matches would be boring, not only to me but to yourselves as well, I am sure. No amount of random matchmaking or items would change that. Not to mention certain people have seen fit to resurrect the infernal idea of tier lists, destroying any remaining point to such a tournament."
"Thus," Master Hand abruptly interrupted, "I reluctantly gave Crazy permission do have complete autonomy in planning this challenge. I am obligated to warn you that though even I have no idea if he bent any elementary rules here, I suspect he did to the point where I was obligated to warn you all in advance."
The other hand let out a maniacal cackle. "Excellent, now that my brother has gotten that out of the way, allow me to explain the challenge! This constitutes a gauntlet of enemies that two of you will run simultaneously. Any enemies you defeat will become yours to summon further on, should you requires assistance, and at the end of your journey, you must defeat the gate guardian to proceed, whereupon you will face the last and final enemy - your ultimate foe!"
Nervous muttering broke out at that, but he plowed on. "Now, as this has a lot of potential to get people hurt, you will have four stocks to sustain you through your run, and standard damage mechanics shall apply, with one exception. Any enemies summoned in battle to assist you will bypass the protective charm, so do be careful of what they attack or you may find yourself in over your head. Can't have any of you getting a complete free ride if you encounter the right enemy, can we? Now then, if you return to your rooms, you shall find more information about your designated time and the enemies you will face has been delivered! By the way, it's all the same for everyone, so don't bother trying to steal someone else's. Lastly, do not feel pressured or think you cannot still cooperate, there are no places for this competition. You are merely required to survive to win! The runs begin in - " he glanced at a clock " - just under two days! Chop, chop, you have no time to lose!"
With that he drifted off, no small air of smugness about him, and the Smashers understood themselves dismissed and unable to wrangle anything out of the hand.
"Wonder what he means by 'ultimate foe?'" Rock wondered aloud, asking himself as much as putting the matter up for discussion while they headed back toward the dormitories. For multiple reasons he was hoping that Crazy was not referring to every individual's arch-nemesis. The last thing he needed or wanted to see again was Dr. Wily, and as Bass took his side more often, it made it harder for Rock to accept that he was still his enemy. Even if he'd insisted he never took the side of good for anything but selfish reasons.
"No idea," Link admitted. "But let's hope he doesn't include things from other worlds when considering who we face, because some of the things I've seen needed absurd means to defeat."
"Yeah, I'd hate to have to fight Hades again," Pit interjected.
Lucina, meanwhile, lagged slightly behind her friends but remained within earshot, distracted by trying to keep herself from panicking and doing something stupid. When her friends split off to their respective rooms, she barely acknowledged their departure. Once she'd shut the door it took a considerable amount of self-restraint to avoid tearing into the folder on her desk. Hands trembling slightly in dread, she began to flip through the pages within, carefully scanning each for any further hints as to who Crazy might pick as her "ultimate opponent."
"Please don't let my opponent be Grima," she repeated desperately to herself as she continued to read. With each page that didn't yield any clues her anxiety rose a little more. By the time she had read all but the last page, still with no hints, her hands were shaking so much she dropped the entire thing, scattering the papers everywhere.
"Oh, dammit," the princess grumbled at her clumsiness, reaching down to pick them off the floor.
"Need a hand?" A voice asked from the doorway. To her surprise, it wasn't Ike, but a certain robot with blue shoes who had offered assistance.
"Thank you for the offer, Mega Man, but I can manage on my own - aah!" As she'd spoken Lucina had taken a step backwards to readjust her position and stepped on a sheet of paper. Though she knew it was there, she calculated the risk of slipping was low and done so anyways, not knowing that both the printed substance and floor beneath it were much smoother than the parchment and stone she was used to. The leg slipped out from under her and the princess of Ylisse fell flat on her face with a yelp. The folder and its re-gathered contents went back to the ground.
"If you say so," the android commented lightly, moving to help her off the floor anyways. "Are you alright?" he asked in a more serious tone.
"Yes. Considering my mother and father both had a penchant for clumsiness, I guess I should consider myself lucky it only strikes once in a while and never in battle."
He paused for a moment in helping her pick up the papers, looking as though he were thinking about something but in reality debating whether or not to say his question. After all, they'd barely talked and her family was clearly a sensitive matter.
Eventually, he decided to chance it. Lucina would likely move on regardless of her reaction. "...Isn't your father here with you, though?"
Watching her wince at the question almost made him do the same. But just when he thought he'd erred, she relaxed and resumed eye contact. "Yes. I'm more accustomed to referring to my parents i - in p - past t - t - tense..."
Rock wasn't sure what to make of it. One moment her tone had been calm, controlled, and stoic, then suddenly she started stammering like a child on the verge of tears. Before he could inquire further though her voice was back to how it had been before.
"My apologies, the conversation just brought on a rather strong recollection. I assure you, I am alright," she added immediately before placing a sheet of paper inside the folder. "Now, how about we finish collecting these from the floor so you can be on your way?"
He paused before giving the most neutral answer he could think of. "How thoughtful of you."
Her face was hidden, but given that she abruptly paused in her task for a moment, it was rather evident she hadn't expected the compliment.
Rock decided to push a little more. "Hey...uh, about that thing that happened last week..." He trailed off, but as she didn't react he continued. "Just so you know, Sonic was only trying to include you."
"Is being the sacrificial lamb considered included?" The princess replied dully.
"Admittedly it's not the best way to, but we noticed you seemed to think yourself a little out-of-place - " her wince at that did not escape his attention " - so we wanted to help you change that mindset. Sonic just got the first opportunity."
"What a surprise. Oh, pick your jaw up before you swallow a fly, I'm not so literal that I don't understand the concept of sarcasm," she grumbled.
To his credit he recovered before she had to help him with that. "Sorry, it's just that I've never heard it from you so it was unexpected."
"It's still my fault, I have no right to be bitter to either you or Sonic for something neither of you deserve blame for."
"No need to apologize, princess, just don't think you shouldn't belong, okay? We care about you." He handed her the last sheet of paper and turned to leave.
"Thank you for helping me. Oh, Rock? One more thing."
"Hm?" The android paused but didn't turn around.
"Just 'Lucina' is fine."
Author's Note: So far it's been a decent bit of idle scenes and character-building. I promise that they aren't all this story will consist of; we are going somewhere with all of the setup.