previously on dargon ball zzz
Charles had a chat with Sniffer (which ended horiibly) and took out the trash. (remember that its important) He then started to create a turnip serum for the science fair on Monday, but while searching for bleach in the basement, he got spooked by something behind him.
And now…
We return to your regular programming.
Charles felt a warm breath hit his neck as he dropped his phone. He turned to face behind him and came face to face with the most unspeakable horror he had ever witnessed…
It was a Golden Retriever with half of his face covered in peanut butter.
Air Bud.
Charles hated Air Bud. He was annoying at best, and sadistic at worst. Charles had no idea where Air Bud came from, or why he never seemed to go away. All he knows is that Air Bud remained in this house for as long as he could remember, and now he stood in front of Charles next to an empty jar of Jif Peanut Butter®. Charles spent all of his savings on that peanut butter, and now Air Bud was going to pay for it.
Charles charged at Air Bud, pulling his trusty dirking device out of his back pocket. Utilizing the famous Qwirkle technique, Charles took a swing at Air Bud's left foot.
MISS
Charles fell flat on his face, his attack completely missing his mark. He now had to wait 4-5 business days for Air Bud's retaliation attack. These are the rules in Scrabble, which is a real time battle game Charles and Air Bud have been playing for years. One person attacks, then a week later the other person, and the cycle continues. This goes on infinitely, or until one person gives up the 5$ Sonic Gift Card that is the prize for winning the game. Or until one of the players dies, and the other takes the gift card and gets a celebratory popcorn chicken.
Charles was horrible at Scrabble. He's been practicing many techniques and strategies for ages, but nothing gets past Air Bud. He considered giving up the gift card for a long time, but…
That chicken…
Anyhow, Charles got the wind handed to him by his own attack, and Air Bud fled upstairs. Charles reached for his cellular telephone and opened up the message application to resume the textual conversation he had started with Rosebud.
[reinitiate textual conversation]
Rosebud: Um…Charles?
Rosebud: Are you there?
Billy: Yeah
Billy: I just got the wind handed to me by my own attack
Rosebud: Playing Scrabble with Air Bud again?
Billy: Yee
Billy: I can never beat him
Billy: The amount of gigawatts in his capacitor
Billy: Its simply ace-tounding
Rosebud: What's up with that dog anyways?
Billy: Who knows?
Billy: I just hope I can get my revenge for all the peanut butter I lost to him.
Billy: Curse you Air Bud!
Billy: Plague on both your houses!
Rosebud: Can you just bring the bleach upstairs
Rosebud: Maybe working on that turnip serum will take your mind off of things.
Billy: ok
Charles got up from the ground after the semi-annual beatdown, and dragged himself back to the living room, bleach in tow. He set the bleach on the chemistry table, and prepared a large bowl and measuring cups to mix together the serum. 2 liters of bleach and 50 grams of sulfur were added to the bowl. Charles then reached for the detergent, lifting it up to pour it into the bowl.
That's when he realized
The Downy was empty.
Charles turned to his right, only to see a puddle of detergent, currently being licked by a golden retriever.
AIR BUD!
He had had enough. Charles pulled his revolver out of his pocket and shot 80 rounds of .55 mm ammunition into Air Bud's left eardrum. When the chaos dissipated, Charles looked down to find 80 rounds of .55 mm ammunition in his chest.
Charles cursed many a plague on all 7 of his own houses. How could he have forgotten that attacking twice in a row breaks a fundamental rule of Scrabble? (that's what we at Harvard call a rhetorical question btw so I better not see any reviews that answer this question don't answer it) If a player attacks twice in a row during a game of Scrabble, the attack is deflected and instead dealt to the attacker. It was a good thing that Charles wore his Kevlar vest on Tuesdays.
Rosebud: I sense that you are cursing many plagues on a variety of houses
Rosebud: What happened?
Billy: Air Bud
Billy: That's what happened
Rosebud: I see
Rosebud: So I guess you should get some detergent
Billy: Yep
Billy: You know where I can get some?
Rosebud: Well… yes
Rosebud: But you wont like it
Billy: ?
Billy: Oh
Billy: Oh No
Billy: Don't tell me
Rosebud: Dom
Billy: That guy
Billy: Hes creepy though
Rosebud: Do you want the detergent or not?
Billy: ugh
Billy: Ok
Billy: Hope I still remember how to get into his house
Rosebud: Good luck
Rosebud: I gotta go
Billy: Secret business?
Rosebud: Sure
[deinitiate textual conversation]
It was time for Charles to suit up, if he was going to…
His shouse…
Charles grabbed his trusty crossbow. He was horrible at using it, but it was a requirement if he wanted to get into Dom's house. Charles fled from his home in the shining moonlight on his trusty unicycle named J.K. Rowling, named after his favorite author. He hen proceeded to fall flat on his face and get the wind handed to him by his own unicycle. He decided to just ditch the unicycle. Within a couple minutes, he stood before a daunting forest where Dom's house lied.
Now it was time for the hard part. Charles used the crossbow (equip with grappling hook) to grapple onto trees and navigate through the maze of a forest from above. Ahead of him, charels could see Dom's treehouse, protected by a gate that was less of a gate and more of a giant birdcage. The house looked nothing like your ordinary treehouse. It was a two floor house, basically like any other house, but bolted to the side of a great birch tree. The entrance had a rope elevator to go up and down the tree, and as was said before, the entire tree and house was enclosed in a giant bird cage.
The only way to open the bird cage was to send a hidden code to Dom via textual message. He had a new code every week, with some clue hidden somewhere in the forest, marked with a candle. Charles could see the faint light of flaming wax a few trees ahead, and hopped onto its branch with all the enthusiasm as a panther during a clearance sale.
Charles adjusted his sight to see the clue carved into the tree in front of him. It was a collection of 1s and 0s arranged in the shape of a can of tuna. Binary and a pictogram? Dom really stepped it up today..?!
Sdgdsfgh (sorry I dropped my cat on the keyboard)
Good thing Charles was fluent in java, php, and c#! Charles decoded the binary in no time, then combined it with the tuna can to create a code message. Charles then dropped down from the tree and stepped in front of the gate that locked the huge bird cage.
[initiate textual conversation]
Billy: It's time to tuna
[deinitiate textual converation]
After a few moments, the gate opened automatically. Charles stepped forward, then gazed at the fine establishment above him. A silhouette appeared in the window, then pulled out its cellular phone and initiated a textual conversation.
[initiate textual conversation]
Buddha: State your business
Billy: Hi Dom
Billy: Uh…
Billy: I need you to do me another solid
I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TIME FOR CHAPTER TRES