Chapter 4:
What you made of me

She knew. She knew it wouldn't be him. It couldn't be.

After the way he'd spoken to her all those years ago and broken her heart, she was positive that he would never keep a car that held such happy memories of their friendship.

Why would him?

She was nothing to him, nothing at all. Just a pale-face who would never belong on the Reservation even if her father had been raised there his entire life alongside the Chief.

Just thinking about those words brought back exactly the same amount of pain as they did on the day she'd first heard them. The kind of pain where it felt like someone had thrust their hand into her chest and yanked out her heart, slowly crushing it the entire time to prolong her pain.

With the stinging rejection fresh in her mind, she couldn't stop the rise of anger from within as she continued to wait. She wanted him to step out that car and be miserable; she wanted the satisfaction of knowing or seeing that he was as miserable and as unloved as she'd felt from the moment he'd crushed her heart.

And cold.

From the moment he'd walked away from her, from everything that had been left unsaid between them and from their age-old friendship; she'd lived with the cold that had taken root in her entire body.

No matter where she went, the cold followed like an infection of her soul. Even in Arizona where it remained hot all year round, she never warmed. The hot rays of the sun or even the love of her godmother could never penetrate through her skin and warm what remained of her heart or soul.

She couldn't love anything or anyone and it had torn at what remained of her heart to still feel. The easiest thing to feel, the emotion that still made her feel human was the anger. Without it, she felt how she thought a Cold One might feel with no ties to any humanity.

Like a statue, frozen in time by a traumatic happening.

Elizabeth had sent her to therapist after therapist who told her it was all in her head. That she had caused it and she alone could stop it.

They didn't get it. None of them did. She'd seen so many therapists, had observed time and time again as they tried desperately to get inside her head, to understand what was happening to her.

It was a waste of their time and Elizabeth's because she knew what had happened. She'd finally taken enough and something had broken inside her.

The pain she'd felt from Edward's rejection was nothing at all compared to these last couple of years.

She couldn't believe she'd handled Edward's departure from her life quite so badly. There were moments when she wished that she'd been strong enough to survive without having ever become friends again with him.

As soon as she regretted knowing him through, a quick stab of pain right to her heart would remind her that it simply wasn't that easy. How can you forget someone who shaped you into who you currently are?

Her two years spent in Forks towards the end of her teenage years had scarred her almost as much as being Renee's daughter had.

She didn't want to be Bella Swan anymore to these people. The girl they all felt sorry for.

A Leech-lover even if they didn't know it. The social outcast and awkward girl who had never found her place where she should have. The girl who had found her place where others' avoided or where she wasn't wanted.

She would show everyone the person she had become in her years gone.

Isabella Swan

A headstrong and determined young woman who was caring and compassionate despite everything she'd suffered yet she didn't take any of the bullshit or drama she might have taken on the chin before now.

Lost in her own thoughts, she quickly looked up and released the breath she'd been holding since she'd seen the Rabbit.

She was right, it wasn't him.

A native man she'd never seen before had climbed out of the driver's side, accompanied by a beautiful native girl who he'd wrapped his arm around as they entered the diner.

She knew that the man certainly wasn't Sam Uley, appearing much too young but his resemblance to the older man was uncanny and unnerving. The last time she'd seen Sam was as he cut her to shreds using his words as nothing more then sharp-edged daggers thrown on a crash-course towards her heart.

She'd given herself a shake and turned her engine on, pulling out of the diner and trying to put as much space as she could between herself and the diner's newest customers who reminded her of someone she'd rather not dwell on.

Just as she reached the turning in order for her to start the real trek towards her house, she couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Feeling her Land Rover come to life as she raced up the harsh terrain, she picked up her speed considerably as the forest around her became a blur around her.

Hitting a particular rough patch that had her struggling to maintain control of her vehicle, Bella smiled as she fought to keep the vehicle on the path and unadulterated fearlessness coursed through her veins, bringing her to life as much as her anger did.

Reaching the smoother course of the ride, she noted a flash of color that stood in stark contrast to the forest green in her peripheral vision that quickly had her throwing her head to the side in confusion.

She certainly didn't expect to see a raven-colored beast of a creature to be stood in the treeline, waiting for something. In the time it took her mind to process that this beast looked to be a wolf and was abnormally large, it had disappeared from her view completely.

Shaking her head, she resumed her drive and tried to rationalize what she had seen. The Olympic Peninsula wasn't home to beasts that were twice the size of the wolves they partly resembled.

She was pretty sure that someone would have her institutionalized if she tried to describe exactly what she'd just seen. She would much sooner believe someone if they told her they knew a vampire rather than about abnormally large beasts running about.

Wolf POV

Sam's gonna have your head for that. ~ Seth

I didn't expect her to make it up the natural path quite so quickly. I'm still learning how to get around ~ ?

You better head back and stay out of sight. If Charlie gets another call about giant wolves then I think the man is going to burst a blood vessel ~ Seth

Why can't we tell him the secret? Your mom's living with him after all so he's gonna find out eventually ~ ?

Charlie would probably go after Jake or Sam. I'd say Sam more because Sam made this whole mess with Bella in the first place ~ Seth

Why is Sam beta if he's the reason Jake's imprint isn't here? ~ ?

Things are pretty hard for Jake in regards to the whole imprinting thing so Sam's left to keep control of us on a daily basis. Sam's using that as a way to try and make amends with Jake but it's never gonna be enough. Every couple of months, Jake lays into Sam and no-one is allowed to intervene. Sam fucked up in a major way ~ Seth

I wouldn't ever want to be on Jake's bad side. Will he be pissed that his imprint accidentally saw me? ~ ?

Jake's not the issue here but I don't think he'll be bothered. Your main concern should be Sam. Don't be surprised if you get double-patrols for her seeing you ~ Seth

Even through she's an imprint? That's kind of hypocritical ~ ?

That's Sam for ya. She's an imprint who doesn't know still ~ Seth

I'd rather deal with Jake then Sam if I'm honest ~ ?

Sucks to be you, kid ~ Seth