Abigail stepped out into the cold night-time rain, holding her trusty model 420 2K16 Sniper Rifle tight against her heart. It was representative of an Average American practicing their right to arm bears, the most important amendment. Lightning struck all around her, and she prepared herself before she set off to kill her former mentor.
[jnitiate auditorial conversation]
Abigail: let's do this shit
Charles gulped down his third bottle of vodka, slamming it down on the bar.
Wolf: whoa jeez calm down
Wolf: are you okay?
Charles: yeah I'm good
Charles wasn't intoxicated because he's dead by the way everbody knows that dude.
Wolf: we should probably head back to your tower and do some trials
Charles: why do you want to do so many trials?
Charles: I mean we're not in a huge hurry, right?
Wolf: uh, yeah we actually kind of are
Charles: fuck that noise
Suddenly Charles yelled out in pain as his hands shot to his forehead, causing his 4th bottle to plummet onto the floor.
Wolf: whoa geez are you alright?
Charles: AGH
Wolf: do you need medical attention?
Charles: ow
Charles: nah I'm good it's just it felt like someone was talking to me from inside my brain and I kinda freaked out
Wolf gazed at Charles with a cold, serious glare.
Wolf: so it's finally happening.
If there was one thing the operation bud team was awful at, it was stealth. So it may not have been that great of an idea for rosebud to leave the rest of them alone to find an escape route. Luckily, Dom remembered the network of air vents from Chapter 16, and they started to sleuth their way to the laboratory on the 3rd floor.
Spencer: THIS SUCKS
Dom: yeah I think you've been saying that for the last 30 minutes
Spencer: it's true though
Debra's breathing got a bit spastic. She focused all her energy on her slow inhale and the equally slow exhale, but somehow this exercise only made her panic more.
Debra: Dom?
Debra: when are we going to get there?
Dom: not in another 15 minutes or so
Debra sighed with concern and breathed in through the nose, and out through the mouth OH SHIT SHE COULDNT BREATHE
Debra started to hyperVENTilate (get it?) due to her massive claustrophobia that haunted her. She wanted nothing more than to return to the free fields and the fresh air of her home. Oh, home. Such a comforting image. Debra could only imagine her life back home, simpler and less sucky than when air bud was involved. Debra expressed all of her deep emotional conflicts and longing in one sentence.
Debra: THIS SUCKS
[initiate radio conversation]
Pepper: Abigail? Are you there?
Abigail stopped dead in her tracks as her portable radio codec thingy started emitting the voice of her former mentor.
Pepper: what are trying to do Abigail? Kill me? After all we've been through?
Abigail brushed off this annoying guys voice and looked down the scope of her rifle.
Pepper: ever since your were born, I've been teaching you everything I know about being a hero. And now, when we can save the world, you just want to throw it all away?
The rain clouds blocked her vision, preventing her from making an accurate shot.
Pepper: you were like a daughter to me. I provided you with so much and this is how you repay me? Without me, you would be nothing!
Agent Rosebud suddenly saw a golden opportunity. Peering down the long scope, she leaned closer into the radio.
Abigail: pepper?
Pepper: yes, agent rosebud?
Abigail: fuck you.
Charles: so let me get this straight
Charles: I can communicate with the animal I am a clone of?
Charles: and that's what that voice was? The voice of Billy?
Wolf: yep that's the gist
Charles: now that's what I'm talking about
Charles: let's head back to my place and do some motherfuckin trials!
Wolf: ok...?
Climbing out of the vents after what felt like an eternity, Debra gasped for fresh air. What she got instead was cold, artificial air, but hey, at least it was better than the vents. The group activated sneak mode and stealthed their way through the facility. Once they got to the hallway where the portal lied, Dom huddled up the crew and start some stratego.
Dom: ok
Dom: so we're gonna kill Professor Willow
Josh: WHAT?
Debra: yeah, seems reasonable.
Josh: HOW?
Dom: we need to get to that portal without resistance
Dom: we must kill Willow.
Dom slowly pulled out a small dirking device out from his back pocket. Panicking, Josh ended his dilemma by walking right into the open where Willow could clearly see him.
Spencer: *whisper* WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
Willow heard the voice and turned to see Josh, standing proudly with a wide smile.
Willow: oh, hello agent Budderball. Shouldn't you be in Pepper's office?
Apparently they don't know about the whole pepper thing he thought. Alright time to get rid of this guy
Josh: Pepper told me to tell you that there's been a leak of Dihydrogen Oxide on Floor 28.
Willow: ugh, not again!
With a groan, Willow grabbed his tools and made his way up to floor 28, leaving the portal open for them to mess with. The crew stepped out from the shadows and looked at Josh, stunned.
Dom: how did you do that?
Dom: you like just talked to him instead of killing him!
Dom: that's genius!
The crew investigated the panel of controls by the portal.
Dom: alright Geoff, I need you to figure out how to activate a portal system using secret technology all by yourself.
Geoff: aight
Pepper: excuse me!?
Abigail: you heard me. I fucking hate you. You raised me without a speck of a chance of living a normal life, alone in a cold government facility, Separated from my friends unless I had a mission to do, and forced me to risk my life against something that is seemingly invincible. I despise every moment I see your stupid face, you disgusting piece of garbage. Fuck you, fuck you, no one likes you, see ya later, you're dead.
Abigail pulled the trigger with her scope focused on the moon. Obviously, if pepper could radio communicate with her, it meant that he was exactly 55 degrees from where she was standing. By trajectoring the shot compared to the trajectory of the moon, the bullet reflected off of the surface of the space rock and hit pepper directly in the eyeball. Pepper screamed in pain, slamming down on the fire button as life escaped his body. A matrix of yellow beams surrounded the spherical stone, charging up the weapon and launching a massive beam of energy that crushed 1/3 of the entire planet, destroying the stone in the process. Abigail stood on the new edge of the planet and looked down into the core of the earth and the now exposed government base.
Abigail: ballz
The crew turned around to see a massive hole in the wall of the base, exposing the night sky. Also there was a loud noise.
Spencer: what the FUCK was THAT?
Suddenly, Abigail jumped down from the edge and through the hole, regrouping with the crew.
Abigail: portal, now!
Geoff: i can't get it to work until the battery is of sufficient charge!
Abigail: then do something!
Geoff: we just need a few more seconds...
Suddenly again, Air Bud smashed through the unsmashed part of the wall, his yellow eyes flaring with anger and charging up a similar attack to when they were in Charles house.
Spencer: FUCK
Abigail: Geoff, we need that portal!
Geoff: just...a few more seconds...
Air Buds attack was almost at full charge. Abigail closed her eyes and prepared for the embrace of death.
Charles and wolf stood in Charles's crazy tower place. Charles's hand hovered over the door knob to the next trial, when suddenly, he gasped.
Wolf: what?
Charles: they're in trouble!
Wolf: what?
Charles: I can see it... My friends are about to die!
Charles paced around the room, panicking.
Charles: I need to do something! What can I do?
He could sense his friends on the brink of death when he quickly noticed the button in the table. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but Charles suddenly slammed his palm on the button in order to save his friends. Pretty dumb if you ask me. Anyway, he felt a strange twitch and collapsed on the ground.
Air buds death laser fired, and narrowly missed the crew! Abigail shut open her eyes to see the canines head twitch at the precise moment, causing him to miss.
Geoff: got it!
The portal suddenly activated, a vortex of lime green energy appearing. The group rushed in before the portal ran out of battery, closing the portal behind them.
Abigail couldn't remember seeing much. A sea of orange with white clouds, the cool air, the screams of Spencer as the group plummeted, probably to their deaths. She felt the impact of her body hitting the ground, and the world went black.
END OF PROLOUGE