A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and support! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 5: Adjusting to Home

Christian and Ana had rather hoped the licensing process to become foster parents wouldn't take any more than a few hours, but unfortunately they were wrong – as it turned out, there was a whole process to it. They needed to be interviewed and trained by a representative from Child Services, consent to a background check and a health screening, and (as Ana had predicted) allow their home to be inspected by a DCFS official. All this, in addition to their daily work life, meant that it would be the better part of a week before they could be officially licensed foster parents and bring Lucia into their care.

"Are you still sure you want to go through with all this?" Ana asked Christian nervously for about the twentieth time that day. The two of them were sitting in the great room at Escala, having just gone through their first tedious day of processing at Child Services.

"For the millionth time, yes," Christian said amusedly. "I want to help Lucia just as much as you do, baby. I realize the process is long and difficult, but hopefully, by the end it'll be worth it."

"I just don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do this for me," Ana confessed, looking nervous. "I know you want to help Lucia, but I also know I'm asking you to give up a lot for this…"

"Stop," Christian said firmly, taking her hand in his. "I've made up my mind about this, Ana - I want to do this as long as you do. You're not asking me to give up anything."

Ana smiled gratefully before squeezing his hand back. "I just know this is a big decision for us, even if it is temporary, and I want to be sure we're both completely on board."

"I am," Christian said, smiling. "We're married now, baby - we're a team, no matter what."

Ana smiled widely back before leaning in and kissing him fully on the lips. Christian kissed her back, the powerful love he had for his wife filling his heart.

I would do anything for her.

Ana was the first to pull away, and she did so slowly, her eyes fluttering open to gaze into his eyes. She looked hesitant. "You do know what we have to do, though, right?"

Christian sighed, grimacing. "Yeah, I do."

Since a DCFS official had to inspect Escala within the next day or so, Ana and Christian had agreed to clear out the playroom of all their sex toys, canes and whips before the person came by. While Ana and Christian didn't think they necessarily needed the BDSM aspect of their sexual relationship anymore, it still felt a bit strange getting rid of such a significant part of Christian's past.

The playroom had basically represented Christian's entire life for years… and now he and Ana were going to get rid of it. This moment felt heavy with significance.

Ana gave Christian a small smile before taking his hand again and pulling him to his feet. Hand-in-hand, they began to walk up the stairs toward the playroom.

They opened the door and stepped inside before glancing around the whole area. They took in the familiar four-poster bed, the St. Andrew's cross, and the walls filled with neatly-arranged canes and whips. As usual, the scent of citrus and polished wood filled their nostrils upon entering the room.

"I think we mostly just need to get rid of all the stuff on the walls," Christian said after a moment, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "We could probably leave the bed. The whips and the canes we should definitely get rid of… and everything in the drawers over there."

"Yeah, the butt drawer definitely has to go," Ana said firmly, and Christian laughed. "What about the St. Andrew's cross?"

"That can be disassembled, but it's still pretty heavy. Taylor and I can carry it out last along with all the shelving, and you and I can work on gathering up and throwing away all the toys."

For the next half-hour or so, Ana and Christian worked on gathering all of the whips and canes and throwing them into a large pile on top of the four poster bed. Christian grabbed a couple large black duffel bags and threw them inside, and Ana found a cardboard box to toss all the sex toys from the drawers into. She couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous it looked when she was done - she had a box literally filled to the brim with colorful dildos, vibrators and anal beads.

"Aw, I liked this one," Christian pouted playfully, picking up a silver vibrator from on top of the pile of sex toys in the box. "You and I had so much fun with it."

Ana laughed and smacked him playfully on the arm. "Baby, we agreed to get rid of all of this stuff."

"Yeah, but still…" Christian gave her a hopeful smile. "Even couples in vanilla relationships like to play around with these. Can't we just keep this one in our bedroom?"

Ana blushed, but she couldn't help but smile and roll her eyes at how adorably hopeful he was. "If we hide it very well," she said, crossing her arms firmly. "I don't want to risk anyone finding anything incriminating in our home."

Christian's smile was big and genuine. "Thank you, baby," he said happily, leaning forward and kissing her on the lips. "I'll go put it in our closet… right next to my ties," he whispered against her lips with a small wink. Ana giggled and blushed.

Finally, after a couple hours of hard work, the playroom was completely empty except for the four poster bed, a couple empty shelves and the dark red walls. Ana had found a blocked off window near the back of the room, and once she opened the curtains, light poured in and filled the whole space with beautiful sunshine. Without all the sex toys and the distinct citrus wood scent, the room now seemed less like a sex dungeon and more like a guest room.

"There," Ana said once they were completely finished. She and Christian stood in the middle of the empty room, gazing around as Christian wrapped his arm Ana's waist. "How's it look?"

"Like a room," Christian said, glancing around. He smiled. "I like it."

"Me too," Ana giggled. "We could probably use it as a guest room now when my dad comes to visit."

"Um, how about no," Christian scrunched his nose, looking horrified, and Ana laughed fully.

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

Christian shook his head, chuckling incredulously, before turning back around, his arm still around Ana's waist. The two of them walked out of the room together before closing the door behind them.

The next few days were just as hectic as Christian and Ana had expected, with constant inquiries from social services, setting up Lucia's bedroom, purchasing toys and furniture for her, child-proofing the penthouse and, on top of all that, scheduling work around everything. Both Christian and Ana were planning on taking a week off of work to spend time with Lucia and help her get settled at Escala, which meant they both had a lot to get done before they did that.

Finally, on Sunday morning, all was said and done, and Ana and Christian drove down to the St. Mary's Children's Home to pick Lucia up. It had been the better part of a week since they had last seen her, but the moment she stepped outside with one of the sisters to greet them, it was clear she remembered them. It was actually pretty heartwarming to see the hopeful look in her normally expressionless eyes when she found out she was actually going to be going home with them.

"She hasn't let go of that elephant all week," the sister said to Christian as they watched Ana buckle Lucia up in her carseat inside their Audi SUV, Lucia clutching tightly onto her plushy elephant. Taylor was busy packing up her few belongings in the trunk of the car. "She hardly spoke a word when she was here, but whenever we asked her where she got her elephant, she would always respond with angel."

Christian couldn't help but smile - yes, there was definitely some truth to that. "My wife actually gave her that elephant a couple weeks ago. She and I have grown very fond of Lucia."

"I'm glad to hear it," the sister smiled warmly. "That little girl definitely deserves a family who loves her - with everything she's been through, I pray that she at least will have that in her life."

Christian didn't say anything to that, since it looked like Ana and Taylor were finally packed up and ready to go. They all said goodbye to the people at the children's home before getting into the SUV; Taylor began driving home while Christian and Ana sat in the backseat with Lucia, who was beginning to doze off in her carseat.

"Look at her," Ana whispered, smiling lovingly at Lucia drifting off to sleep while clutching her stuffed elephant in her arms. "How could anyone want to hurt such a sweet little thing?"

Christian smiled too, but his mind was a bit preoccupied. He couldn't help thinking about what the sister at the children's home had said - about Lucia having a family that loved her. Is that what he and Ana were doing? They had agreed to take her in as a foster child, and he wasn't regretting that decision, but could he and Ana be enough of a family for her? At least until another family came forward to adopt her?

Christian decided not to let himself worry about it too much yet as Taylor pulled the SUV into Escala's underground parking lot. He and Ana would cross that bridge when they came to it, and for now they could just try to adjust to having a young child under their care for the foreseeable future.

Lucia began to rouse from her sleep just as Taylor parked the car and Ana and Christian unbuckled their seatbelts. Ana unbuckled Lucia and picked her up in her arms, hoisting her up on her hip before sliding out of the car.

She makes it look so easy.

"You're pretty good at that," Christian said to Ana as she and him walked toward the elevators. Ana smiled, glancing at Lucia sitting on her hip.

"I babysat little kids a lot in high school," she said, a hint of humor in her voice. "So I guess I've got some experience in parenting already."

"Well, that's a relief," Christian said with a smile, and Ana giggled.

Ana and Christian rode the elevator up to the penthouse, Lucia still in Ana's arms. After a few moments, the car stopped, and they stepped out into the spacious foyer. Lucia's tiny innocent face turned in all directions as she stared at the opulence all around her - to an adult, Escala was pretty massive, but to a little girl like Lucia it was probably gargantuan.

"This is going to be your new home for now, Lucia," Ana explained to her as they walked into the great room. "This is where me and Mr. Christian live, and now you're going to live here too."

Lucia said nothing as she continued to gaze at the large room around them. Christian and Ana exchanged a glance.

"Should we show her her bedroom?" Christian suggested, shrugging.

"Okay," Ana agreed. "Come on, Lucia - wanna go see your bedroom?"

She silently nodded, and the three of them went up the stairs toward where Lucia's newly-furnished bedroom was. Christian and Ana had opted to utilize the guest room that was closest to the master bedroom for Lucia, just in case she had nightmares or something, and they would be readily available.

"Here we are," Ana opened the door to Lucia's bedroom and stepped inside, still carrying Lucia on her hip. Christian followed, closing the door behind them.

Ana and Gail had done most of the decorating for this room - not that Christian didn't want to help, but he knew he had terrible taste when it came to interior design, especially for decorating a child's bedroom. The walls of the room were their usual white color, but now had flowers and butterfly decals pasted to them. The adult-size bed had been replaced with one more appropriate for a child, with a lavender-colored comforter and green pillows. The dresser was now child-sized, and the blinds over the window had been replaced with purple tulle curtains. Christian thought the room looked really girly and garish, but if it suited Lucia, who was he to complain?

"So this is your bed," Ana set Lucia down on her feet but still held onto her hand. "Where you're going to sleep… and over here is your dresser… and over here is your closet where you keep all your clothes."

She led Lucia over to her walk-in closet and opened the door, revealing several racks of child-sized shirts and dresses. The floor of the closet contained dozens of pairs of shoes, ranging from tennis shoes to sandals, all lined up in neatly arranged rows.

"Every single morning, you and me are going to go into this closet and find you clothes to wear for the day," Ana explained, kneeling down so she was at the same level as Lucia. "You're going to get to wear new clothes every single day - how does that sound, Lucia?"

Lucia didn't respond - she merely stared up at the clothes in her closet as if transfixed by them. Christian could understand her feelings - he knew from personal experience that the simple idea of wearing new clothes everyday was sort of a foreign concept for children who were so used to spending day after day in the same filthy clothes. He remembered how weird he thought it was after the Grey's first adopted him that Grace had bathed him once a week and put him into new clothes every single day.

"It's almost lunchtime," Ana said, checking her watch as she stood back up. She looked over at Christian. "Do you want to show her the rest of the house, or do you think we should take her to the kitchen to eat right now?"

"Let's stop for lunch," Christian said. "Gail should be in the kitchen right now, and Lucia should be at least a little familiar with her if she's going to be staying."

"Alright," Ana turned to Lucia and picked her up in her arms. "C'mon sweetheart - are you hungry?"

"Yeah," she mumbled in her tiny voice, nodding her head. Christian and Ana smiled at each other before walking out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Taylor and Gail were in the kitchen, Gail having just finishing making some homemade mac and cheese for lunch. They both looked up when they heard Christian and Ana enter, and smiled when their eyes landed on Lucia.

"Why, hello there," Gail said sweetly to Lucia, who just stared back at her.

"Lucia, this is Mrs. Jones," Ana said to Lucia. "And over there is Mr. Taylor. Can you say hello?"

Instead of saying anything, Lucia buried her face in the crook of Ana's neck, clutching onto her tightly. Gail and Ana both 'awwed' in sympathy.

"I made you guys some mac and cheese for lunch, since I thought Lucia would like that." Gail smiled fondly at Lucia's hiding face. "I can make something else, though, if you'd like…"

"Mac and cheese sounds great," Ana insisted. "The doctors at Children's told us Lucia isn't lactose intolerant or anything, so it should be fine."

"Great - let me plate some up for you," Gail said, bustling away to the stove, where the pot of mac and cheese sat. Ana pulled out a chair at the breakfast bar that contained the child booster seat they had purchased earlier that week, and gently set Lucia down on it.

Once Gail had set their plates of food in front of them, they began to eat. Christian watched as Ana showed Lucia how to pick up her fork and scoop the mac and cheese into her mouth - he was pleased to see she was hungry, since she would eagerly shove the forkfuls of mac and cheese into her mouth, often times missing her mouth altogether. It was a little funny to watch, and Christian couldn't help but chuckle at her. Ana laughed as well, but she continued to patiently show Lucia how to properly eat her food, all the while wiping her messy face and hands.

Christian watched Ana as she doted over Lucia. He had joked about it with her earlier, but he really did think she was a natural at this - how did she do that? How could she make being a parent look so easy? Christian knew he was just as fond of Lucia as Ana was, but he was beginning to find his newfound foster parenting role to be very different from what he expected. He could never visualize himself doting on Lucia the same way Ana had been doing since they set foot in Escala.

Was there something wrong with him?

They finished up lunch, and Christian took their empty plates and cups into the kitchen to put them in the sink.

"I was thinking of taking Lucia back into her room and showing her all her new toys," Ana said, picking Lucia up from her chair. "What do you think, Christian?"

Christian glanced over at Ana and Lucia, both of whom were looking at him. Lucia had her index and middle fingers in her mouth, sucking on them as she stared at Christian with her wide brown eyes.

"I actually have some work I need to get done in my study," he said apologetically, knowing it wasn't a total lie. "Is it alright if I leave you guys alone for a while?"

"Of course," Ana said immediately, though she looked at Christian with an unreadable expression on her face. "Don't work too hard, okay?"

Christian smiled. "I won't," he said reassuringly. He walked forward and kissed Ana on the cheek before turning to Lucia. He lightly tapped the tip of her nose with his index finger, and she scrunched her nose in response. Ana giggled.

"Have fun, you two," Christian smiled as Ana and Lucia began to head toward the staircase together. He simply stood and watched them walk across the room and disappear around the corner.

Name: Lucia Meekaslav

Age: 4

DOB: Unknown

Mother: Belinda Meekaslav ✝

Father: Unknown

Address: Compass Housing Alliance, Seattle, WA

Social Security Number: Unknown

Christian stared down at the piece of paper which contained the very scant information Welch had managed to dig up about Lucia. Christian had asked him to do this for him last week, before Lucia had come to live with them, but Welch had been having some trouble finding anything since there was so little to go on. He had managed to discover that Lucia's last name was Meekaslav, and that she had a deceased mother named Belinda (as indicated by the cross symbol by her name), and lived most of her life in a homeless shelter, but aside from that, there was very little else he found out. It was like Lucia barely existed.

Or was just a neglected child.

Christian frowned; while he knew there were some differences between their situations, he couldn't help but compare his own life with Lucia's. Before his biological mother died, nobody except the pimp knew he even existed. Carrick had once told him later in life that investigators and police officers at the scene had found no information about him other than his first name and his date of birth. Lucia didn't even have that, and she had been found all alone by a dumpster in an alleyway…

Had her mother been like the crack whore too? Had she too been negligent and spiteful of Lucia, calling her names while not giving a shit whether or not she lived or died?

Had Lucia been broken by her mother too?

"What you got there?"

Christian blinked and looked up from his paper, seeing Ana standing in the doorway of his office all by herself. She had her arms crossed and was leaning against the doorframe.

"Where's Lucia?" Christian asked, glancing around for her.

"She got tired from playing with her toys, so I put her down for a nap," Ana said, a small smile on her face as she moved further into his study. "She looked so adorable, cuddling with her little elephant."

"She napped in the car earlier - is it okay for her to be sleeping so much?" Christian asked.

"I'm sure it's fine," Ana shrugged, though she had a sad glint in her eye. "Something tells me she hasn't gotten enough sleep in her life before now."

Christian looked up at Ana and grimaced sadly. He reached over and handed her the paper in his hand containing Lucia's background information. "This is what Welch has managed to find about Lucia so far."

Ana took the paper and glanced it over, a furrow in her brow. "Is that it?"

Christian shrugged. "It's not uncommon for children like her to get overlooked by the system. Before I was adopted by the Grey's, I barely had an identity at all."

Ana's eyes moved up to meet Christian's, and he knew what she was thinking. Those blue orbs seemed to pierce right through his body and gaze into his soul.

"Is everything alright, Christian?" she asked, setting the paper down on the desk. "You've been pretty quiet all day."

Christian didn't know what to say - he wasn't really sure what he was feeling - but Ana seemed to naturally understand what was in his heart, as she always did. Without waiting for his answer, she walked around his desk and sat down on his lap. Her arms went around his neck while his hands immediately went to her waist.

"It's just the first day, baby," she said comfortingly, running her hands through the hair at the base of his neck, calming him. "I know it feels a little strange right now, letting this little girl we barely know come live with us, but it'll get easier the more time we spend with her. I promise."

"You're just so comfortable around her," Christian said before he could stop himself. "I've never been good with kids, and now we have one living here with us. How am I able to be a parent to her when I have no idea what I'm doing?"

"Most parents have no idea what they're doing," Ana said wisely. "Like us, they just try to prepare themselves as much as possible for every eventuality. Their ability to be good parents comes from time and experience."

Christian frowned, not feeling particularly reassured, and Ana leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

"Like I said, this is only the first day," she said gently after pulling away, gazing into his eyes. "Don't be to hard on yourself - it'll get easier. I promise."

Christian didn't know what to say, and simply nodded in agreement. Ana pecked him on the lips one last time before standing up from his lap and walking out of his study. Christian simply watched her go, unsure if he felt better about this whole situation.

A/N: Thank you all for reading! I know I left it on kind of a somber note, but I promise next chapter it's going to get a bit better.

Please review! And if you want to follow my Pinterest board for this story, the url is www dot pinterest dot com/strawpaj/this-life-of-ours/