As Dominic stared intently into the orange atmosphere of wherever the fuck they were, he felt calm as shit. Like so calm, even Spencer's cursing and screaming didn't break the tranquility Dom held. He was just mesmerized by the marshmallow clouds and the tangerine sky.

His vision blurred, and through the myopia Dom saw a girl. She turned to Dom and smiled, as he gazed into her kaleidoscope eyes. The hypnotizing trance Dom was caught in, with the girls eyes as the peaceful harbinger, could not be broken.

that is, until Dom and his friends hit the ground and he broke his right arm. Fuck, he thought. How am I going to masturbate now? Dom blacked out, his vision darker than licorice.

/

"Dominic?"

Dom heard a somewhat familiar voice. Opening his spiritual eyes, he saw a small golden retriever.

"Oh. It's you." Dom said with disgust.

"You must wake up Dominic, you are not ready to achieve nirvana yet!"

"Can you just shut up with your stupid one liners already? Seriously, it's like you're reading from a script from some stupid made for tv kids movie."

GET IT?!

"Dominic, your friends need you!"

"Whatever. How are we not all dead, anyways?"

"Maybe you would know if you WOKE THE FUCK UP!"

"Well maybe I would if you would SHUT THE FUCK UP BUDDHA!"

"Humph. Whatever, die, see if I care." The canine tried to put on a calm guise once again and faded from Dom's vision.

"Ugh. Here we go."

Screaming in pain, Dom got up from his rest by leaning on both of his arms, blood fountaining out of his right arm.

"OH FUCK!" Spencer screamed in surprise. "HE'S AWAKE!"

Debra walked in. "Oh, that's great OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK"

Debra rushed to Dom with a haphazard heap of bandages and plugged up Dom's blood fountain. "LIGHT BUD! I THINK WE NEED THE SERUM AGAIN!"

"What is it this time?" Mumbled a quaint looking penguin with a top hat and a monocle. Before Dom even had time to fathom a talking penguin, the penguin jumped in shock and dirked Dom right in the face with a syringe.

Injecting a strange concoction into his bloodstream, the penguin said to Dom, "Your wounds should be healed in a few weeks. For now, you should probably not use your right arm. If you need to masturbate, I'm sure Spencer will be willing to help."

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Spencer screamed. "NO! FUCK NO! IM LEAVING!" Spencer slammed the door on his way out.

"Stay safe out there!" The penguin yelled after him. Debra removed the bandages, and the blood fountain was no more. Dom felt his entire arm go numb, and carefully sitting himself up using his left arm, he politely inquired, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON"

"Here, I'll get Rosebud, she's good at explaining this." Debra said. "Rose!"

"Yee?" Said Rosebud, stepping into the room. "Oh, you're awake! About time."

Debra stepped back. "Yeah, he needs the rundown."

Rosebud sighed. "Here we go again. Luckily, this is the last time I have to do this."

Rosebud sat down beside Dom. "So, we all landed in a new universe. This bud named Light Bud found us and"

"Hold on. What the fuck is a bud?"

"Oh right. Basically every universe is basically just a way to breed creatures called buds which look like animals from earth because on their planet they evolved very similarly to us. Each universe is created from the BUd Polyverse, which is where their planet lies. Apparently the president of the buds sent this bud here, named Light Bud, to find us and train us to kill Air Bud."

"Why though? Earth is already donezos."

"Well, apparently Air Bud is some kind of criminal on their world. The leader heard that we were human bud hybrids and decided that we may be able to stop Air Bud if we worked together."

"Ok...? Well, how is Light Bud talking to me right now?"

Rosebud sighed. "Time for an anatomy lesson. Ok, so because we are clones of buds, we share similar anatomy. This is important because it means we have a special organ in our prefrontal cortexes called a capacitor. Basically a capacitor stores gigawatts which are basically condensed energy. The abilities of gigawatts depend on the bud type and element of the bud, which we'll explain later. Since buds are still basically animals, they don't have vocal chords. Instead, buds talk using gigawatts, and so Light Bud was sending gigawatts into your capacitor that translated into English."

"Ok, anything else?"

"I'll take you on a tour of the HQ in a second, but the last protip I have for you is that I basically changed my name to Rosebud now so yeah"

"Why?"

Rosebud sighed, gazing out of the window. "Er... Sentimental reasons..."

"Ok?"

"Also Don changed his name to Sniffer for some reason. Something about Hope or some gay shit idk"

"Alrighty. So I guess you should show me around."

"Yee." Rosebud got up, helping Dom up onto his legs. The two stepped down the hall, Dom stumbling to keep up with Rosebud.

"So we have this cool little shelter house thingy set up here. To your left you got our bedrooms. We each have our own rooms, but you can bunk together if you want to. Yours is the furthest to the right."

Rosebud creaked the door ajar, allowing Dom to take a peek inside. The room was small, with a wooden bed frame sheltering a thin mattress. On the opposite side of the room, a small table sat with a bunch of scattered objects: a set of Lotería cards, a plastic, transparent ball, and a small Apple 2 computer hooked up to an antenna.

"We didn't really know how your future vision shit worked, so we just took all we could think of."

"The closest thing you had to tarot cards is Lotería?"

"Look man, I'm not a thirst quencher over here."

The two continued down the hallway. Rosebud led Dom into a large room with a long, narrow table. Chairs were set up with empty dishes along the table.

"Here's the dining area. Debra makes some pretty good food, and you'll be able to catch up with the team at dinner tonight."

"Radical dude"

Rosebud and Dom then entered the lounge, with a television hooked up to a satellite dish and a Nintendo 64, plus some other strange contraptions. There was also a bunch of tables, couches, and chairs, and three tall lamps sat bunched up in the corner of the room. A shelf contained a fuckton of board games, (including Scrabble, which Dom made sure to avoid after hearing horror stories about it from Charles) and 14 copies of Cory in the House season 3 on VHS.

"Yeah, this is just our hangout area. It's where we hang out."

"Cool."

The two peeps then walked outside from the lounge. Dom was blown back by a warm breeze as he observed the light, sandy dunes that engulfed the area around their humble abode. From what he could see, their headquarters was completely isolated from any other life, the arid landscape being their only company.

"We chose a satellite location because we're kinda incognito right now."

"Incognito from what?"

"According to Light Bud, sometimes bud criminals are exiled to various universes. And these buds are bad newzzz if you know what I mean"

The two dudes stepped down a flight of stairs that connected the surface to the house. In the front yard, various tools, weapons, and other stuff were set up. Dom saw that this was the hippest place to be, as Josh, Sniffer, Spencer, and Geoff were training with the various tools. Geoff seemed to be adding more mechanical contraptions to his soaps, Josh was was flinging a loosely chained mace around, Sniffer was attempting to sword fight with a wooden dummy (and failing miserably), and Spencer was throwing dirking devices as usual.

"Hey, you're awake!" Josh greeted.

"Yo" Geoff waved.

"Sup" Dom replied, as Rosebud cleared her throat.

"Here's the training grounds. It's where we train."

"I never would've guessed."

"Basically we're still working on finding what kind of fighting styles fit each of us. Some peeps like Geoff and Spencer already have a style going, but Sniffer, Josh, and Debra seem to be struggling."

"What about you?"

Rosebud shrugged. "I already got all the firearm skillz. Later on we'll have you out on the training grounds to find your style."

"Aight."

The two said goodbye to the others and stepped back into the small abode. Rosebud led Dom back to his room.

"I know you're not a super social dude, so I'm just going to leave you here to hang out in your room and have an existential crisis or some shit. Dinner's in a few hours, we'll call you when it's ready."

"Tight."

"If you need anything, ask Light Bud I guess, but" Rosebud leaned in closer to Dom. "If I were you, I would be a bit cautious with that guy. I don't know, let's just say I don't trust him that much."

"Yeah, but you say that with everybody."

Rosebud sighed. "I guess. It's just, after Pepper, I feel like I can't trust anyone."

Dom put his hand on Rosebud's shoulder. "Hey, you can trust me. You can trust all of us. We're your friends."

Rosebud looked slowly into his eyes...

"Well that was super gayyyyyyyyyyyy"

"You know what I was just trying to be nice for once god"

Rosebud snorted, leaving to go into the lounge. Dom shut the door behind him and leaped onto the bed. He then regretted it because damn that bed was so thin be basically broke his back. As he was wallowing in pain, he felt something dig into his right thigh. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the alluring key he had uncovered in his household. For safekeeping, he placed the key in the drawer of the table beside his bed.

Dom decided to take some time to contemplate this whole mess. He stared into the wood paneled ceiling, and let his mind drift away...

See you space cowboy...