Chapter Two: Dizzy On The Come Down
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Kaneki desperately tried to find a good walking pace. If he walked too fast he would seem weak, afraid, someone to pick on. Too sluggish and he might seem like a proud, arrogant idiot. Already he felt sweat gluing his shirt to his back. He fought the desire to pull at the hem. He needed to stay focused. He ducked into a store front as a group of loudly laughing ghouls passed by. His heart barely had room to beat all the way up in his throat.
Finally, the slow moving group passed and he slumped in relief against the door frame.
Someone cleared their throat, inches from Kaneki's ear. Jumping, Kaneki spun around hands held awkwardly in front of his body.
A tall, pale man stood, leaning down slightly to closely inspect Kaneki. His eyes were red, but he blinked calmly and his hands were clasped around his back. He wasn't preparing to attack. Kaneki knew what that looked like well enough. Nevertheless, Kaneki stumbled back a step and swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Hello there," the man cocked his head to the side. One side of his head was closely shaven, the other had longer black hair that curled around the nape of his neck. "Welcome to my shop."
Kaneki looked around slowly. The store he had ducked into was small but cozy. It was bare and cluttered, at the same time. A large desk occupied a whole corner, and wall to floor metal shelving covered all the other walls. Strange materials and tools laid across the desk. Kaneki couldn't help his curiosity, he crept forward a bit. The man followed slowly at his heels.
Careful not to touch anything, Kaneki observed what he could. He eventually made his way over to the desk. Dozens of drawings littered the crystal clear glass desktop. The looked like mask or hoods. Possibly costumes. Kaneki was remember a child's book he read once. It had mentioned a holiday. Hallo's Eve or Hollow's something or another. Humans dressed up as scary monsters, who knows why.
It fascinated Kaneki to see something like this in the fourth ward. Looking up again, Kaneki noted that most of the shelves were completely empty. Kaneki had no clue what this store sold.
"What do you think?" The man asked, frightening Kaneki again. Kaneki tried to calm his nerves. He couldn't let his fear get the best of him.
"They are very nice. Do you...make these?" Kaneki answered, hesitating only slightly.
"Yes. These are masks. For when you need to hide," The man answered simply.
"People in masks cannot be trusted," Kaneki quoted in an absentminded whisper. The man had moved to stand next to Kaneki. He was slowly shuffling through the drawings, giving Kaneki ample time to admire how carefully drawn they were.
"My name is Uta," the man smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes."Today is my grand opening. Thank you for joining me-"
"Kaneki."
"Kaneki." Uta echoed appraisingly. "Perhaps I should give me very first client something special? To mark the occasion?" A cold finger trailed down the side of Kaneki's face. Before Kaneki could even tense up or pull away, Uta's other hand gripped the other side of his face.
With some small amount of gentleness, the man tilted Kaneki's head back, humming to himself all the while. Kaneki's whole body felt like live wire. He swallowed loudly, and Uta laughed lightly in response.
"Are you afraid, Kaneki?" Uta inquired, sounding honestly interested. "This shouldn't hurt in the slightest."
"Wha-at are you doing?" Kaneki asked instead. He gripped a corner of the desk. He could feel his knuckles going white.
"Trying to picture it…" Uta breathed lowly, "do you look better in black or white? Maybe grey. No, no. White. I like white. But something that won't stain."
Releasing Kaneki's face, Uta stepped away and began digging through rolls of fabric and materials. After a few minutes of just Kaneki's unreasonably loud heartbeat and fabric rustled, Uta turned back to Kaneki. He was holding a sheet of metal in one hand, and what appeared to be a glossy white rubber in the other.
"Come back in a week," the man mumbled, as set the materials down on the desk and scooped up his hair into a low ponytail. Clearing off part of the desk, he scooped up a small mallet and pick.
"Huh?" Kaneki blanched.
"It should be done in a week." Uta elaborated a little.
"I-I don't have anything to pay you with…" Kaneki winced. He didn't mean to get tangled in this mess. He had brought the meat for the books but-
"Don't worry about it, Kaneki." Uta shook his head gently, still not looking up from his work. He now appeared to be sketching something. "I said it was a gift, didn't I? Think of it this way, as my first customer, you can advertise for me."
"Thank you but I really can't…" Kaneki trailed off weakly, he didn't want to be in debt to this man.
"Close the door on the way out please?"
Just like that, Kaneki was dismissed. On top of that, he was all but obliged to return the next week. Kaneki hadn't been planning on spending so much time on the edges of the ward.
Stepping outside, it seemed like the sun had sank miles lower into the horizon, and was beginning to bloom into that radiant shade of orange he loved so much. Looking at it now from between the shabby and dark buildings surrounding him, the color seemed much less inviting. Shivering from the cold that was starting to settle in, and certainly not from something else, Kaneki turned back to his task at hand.
He really wanted to be back in his apartment before the sun set. Ducking his head, he continued his search. The further he walked away from the center of the ward, the narrower the alleys got.
Buildings were crammed to together, as if the ghouls who had built them were desperate to use every inch of space. The buildings in the center of the ward were juxtaposingly yards apart.
Eventually, Kaneki had to start walking sideways least his arms would scratch against the walls on each side. He didn't pass anyone. The sun was steadily lowering and anxiety crept up Kaneki's throat. He was certain he could find his way back, all he had to do was find a wall and walk in the opposite direction. But he couldn't imagine that many savory folk were about this late. It was probably around five in the afternoon, but it was the time of the year that the night outlasted the sun.
Kaneki's hands felt numb with worry. A few minutes later the distance seemed lighter, as if it lead into an open space without tall buildings to block what little sun remained. Kaneki sped up gratefully.
When Kaneki finally broke into the clearing it wasn't empty like he thought. There was a single story building but nothing else within at least twenty yards. Maybe kilometer behind the building was the wall.
The wall here was different from what he had seen from other parts of the ward. It was almost pristine. Very few scratches or dents in the metal surface. Instead of dirt paths, grass and wildflowers grew everywhere but a small worn path leading directly to the building. Kaneki lumbered forward hesitantly. The grass, a vibrant green, grew up to his waist. Rather than looking uncared for, it looked healthy and intensional.
As he slowly made his way up the narrow path the thin blades of glass tickled his arms. Kaneki looked down at the offending weeds. A lilac flower caught his eye. It was much shorter than the grass and was thus dwarfed. Kaneki, mindlessly reached down, brushing aside the grass in his way. He pinched the stem of the flower but right before he could pull the little bit of flora from the earth he heard a loud bang in front of him.
Releasing his find, Kaneki straightened back up and focused on the source of the noise. He was about ten feet from the door of the building at that point. Standing in the open doorway was a mildly bored looking boy around his own age. He had white hair pinned back haphazardly, however the strangest thing was what appeared to be red stitching that laced up his neck and lips.
"Are you done smelling the roses yet?" He had wide, empty eyes. Kaneki gulped. They looked pitch black from where he stood. "Hurry and come in, the clowns usually run by here this time every night."
The boy stepped away from the door but left it open. Feeling obliged, and alarmed at the prospect of "clowns", Kaneki followed the boy in, closing the door shut behind him. When Kaneki realized where he was, he nearly laughed in delight. It was a bookstore!
Small, cluttered and homey. The boy from before was nowhere in sight. The shelves were wooden and shabby looking. However, each was crammed tight with books from floor to ceiling. Four rows of shelves, each at least two yards long. To Kaneki's immediate left was a tall, equally shabby desk equipped with a lamp and small metal bell.
Trying his best not to smile foolishly, Kaneki descended down the first row. It was alphabetized! At this point Kaneki couldn't contain the smile. He dragged pale fingers across the spines of countless dusty hardcovers. Skipping to the next row over, Kaneki located the 'G' section.
Kaneki's eye's zeroed in on the titles. Ghoul. Ghoul. Ghoul. He chanted his goal in his mind. Kaneki couldn't stop the disappointed catch in his throat when the 'Ge-' section went directly into the 'Gi-' section. His hand fell to his side and his shoulders slouched forward.
"Looking for something in particular?" a lilting voice stated. Startled, Kaneki turned and met the eyes of the boy from earlier. They weren't black like he had thought before, but in fact a dark unnatural looking red. Kaneki lowered his gaze, intimidated. The boy was standing uncomfortably close to Kaneki. He was just a hair taller, and his chin was nearly resting on Kaneki's shoulder. "You couldn't find something and then you looked...disappointed."
This time it didn't sound like a question.
"Do you have anything on ghouls?" Kaneki mumbled, trying to squish himself against the bookshelf to create space. The other boy immediately took as large as a step closer as was possible.
"Ghouls?" The boy's eyes widened, but his face was still devoid of emotion. "What about ghouls? We're surrounded, what more do you need to know?"
"Maybe some history or biology?" Kaneki prompted quickly.
"Well these are books written by humans. Humans write about humans," The boy surmised vaguely. He finally stepped back and jammed his fingers into his pants pockets.
"Are there really no humans that will write about us? Humans write about animals, aliens, and made up creatures. Why not ghouls?" Kaneki fumed. There was no way that humans could shove them into a little ward and then forget about ghouls, right?
"I'm no author." The boy shrugged.
"Are there ghoul authors then?" Kaneki suggested. "If humans write about humans, then shouldn't ghouls write about ghouls?"
The boy squinted ever so slightly at Kaneki, before laughing hysterically. Bending at the waist, he slapped his knee weakly. After a few moments, the boy finally straightened. His lips were curved into a smile so wide the red stitching had burst. A small drop of blood was making its way down his chin. Kaneki suddenly felt a small stab of hunger, but nothing he couldn't ignore.
"Maybe you should write a book," the boy sounded teasing. "My name is Juuzo."
"Kaneki."
"Welcome to Anteiku, Kaneki." Juuzo reached past Kaneki and carefully pulled a book off a shelf, two above where Kaneki had been looking. He held it in front of Kaneki until he realized what he was doing and accepted the book. Its frayed and slightly moldy cover read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The cover art was too damaged to make out. Flipping it over, Kaneki read the little blurb on the back.
"Sounds rather done doesn't it?" Kaneki commented absentmindedly. He had flipped the book over again and was trailing his finger down it's worn cover.
"Done?" Juuzo echoed in question.
"Unoriginal, stereotypical, a plot I've read countless times before…" Kaneki elaborated.
"Really?" Juuzo mused. "What if I told you it was the original? Or at the very least a book that has inspired generations of writing. It's an old book, Kaneki. Perhaps when it first came out it wasn't so...done."
Kaneki flushed in embarrassment and gave the book in his hands a second glance. A man with two personalities. The classic tale of a man with two different personalities.
"I've never met someone who knows so much about books," Kaneki admitted weakly. In all honestly, he hadn't met too many people that cared about books in the slightest. Kaneki's mother had mentioned once or twice that his father was well read, but Kaneki didn't remember he man and his mother was quick to clam up.
"I don't know much. Just what I've read here. The evenings are long," Juuzo brushed off, sounding honest rather than humble. "I like this book though. Return it soon please."
"Oh," Kaneki reached into his bag, fumbling to grab the packages of flesh. "How much do I owe you?"
"Don't worry about it. This is more of a library, really," Juuzo shook his head vehemently as the package Kaneki offered.
"Library?" Kaneki mumbled questioningly. He had never heard the word before.
"Uh, they're places you can borrow books from," Juuzo explained, sounding increasingly bored. "Take as many books are you'd like. There isn't any limit or time restraint, really. But keep in mind, I'm in charge of retrieving books that have been away too long."
Juuzo flashed Kaneki a sharp grin that further irritated the broken red stitches. A dangerous emotion shone in his eyes, and without another word the boy spun on his heels and disappeared down the row of books.
Hesitantly, Kaneki returned to browsing the books. There wouldn't be any books on ghouls and the reality of that left a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. Kaneki refused to let this be the end of his search. If he couldn't get answers in written form, maybe he could find a ghoul old enough to recall life before the fourth ward. Or at least a ghoul whose parents had passed on stories.
Kaneki nabbed a few more books and tucked them into his bag, along with the book Juuzo had offered him. Just as he turned to leave, Kaneki barely heard a low cough from somewhere in the back.
He couldn't contain his curiosity. Slowly, making his way down the aisle, Kaneki found yet another surprise. Taking a right at the end of the aisle led to a short hallway. Peeling floral wallpapers did little to deter Kaneki.
When the hallway emptied into a room, Kaneki was met with the delicious smell of coffee. The smooth, rich aroma was so prominent that Kaneki couldn't believe he didn't smell it from the first room.
A long bar with metal barstools occupied the entire left wall. A man at least sixty was behind the bar. The room was homey, yet tastefully decorated. A few tables and chairs were arranged in the remaining space. Standing at a table and wiping it down was another man. He was tall and well built with silver hair. He looked up at Kaneki momentarily, but immediately went back to cleaning.
"Welcome," the older man behind the bar called in a smooth, deep voice. Kaneki slowly made his way across the room. At the man's small smile, Kaneki plopped down on a barstool.
"Can I get you a coffee?" The man offered kindly as he shined a glass with a white rag.
"I'm not sure what I could give you in return," Kaneki explained hesitantly, Juuzo was unimpressed with the meat Kaneki packed. What did ghouls in these parts trade if not flesh?
"Don't worry about things like that. This is a sanctuary." The man, smiled pleasantly. "All I can ask is for your continued patronage and support."
Before Kaneki could formulate a reply, the man had pulled out a clean glass and began preparing a cup. It was beautiful, in a way, watching the man's slow and careful moves. He had never seen someone perform such a simple task with with such intent and passion. The result was a rich and steaming cup of coffee.
Kaneki breathed in the delicate fragrance of roasted coffee. The first sip was heaven. Kaneki wasn't quite sure of the expression on his face but the old man chuckled, and even the stone faced man from before, who had made his way behind the bar, smiled lightly.
"This is delicious," Kaneki complemented, just in case his expression didn't convey his thoughts well enough.
"I'm truly glad you think so, young man," The man replied good naturedly. "My name is Yoshimura and I manage Anteiku. Yomo here helps me with it all." The other man, Yomo apparently, didn't look up as Yoshimura-san introduced him.
"Nice to meet you both. My name is Ken Kaneki," Kaneki smiled politely. It wasn't often he met new people in the ward's center. He expected to see more new faces than old in the edges, but he didn't anticipate the number of friendly, or at least normal faces he'd met.
The man gave another soft, closed eyed smile in response. Kaneki felt a bit of stomach warming surprise at how willingly this man closed his eyes around someone he had just met. Kaneki tried not to entertain the possibility that the older man simply just viewed Kaneki as such little of a threat.
"I've never seen you around before," Yoshimura commented amicably. It was hardly probing, but Kaneki felt compelled to answer.
"This is my first time here. My first time so far from the center, actually." Kaneki flushed in embarrassment. So far, everyone he had spoken to was so normal, kind even. He briefly wondered if the rumors about the dangers of the edge were just that-rumors. "I guess my curiosity was finally starting to eat away at me."
The man just stared back in response. Immediately, Kaneki moved to elaborate.
"I was mostly looking for some books. It seems I've depleted the supply back home," Kaneki felt weird referring to the center as his home when the edges were only a few hours away. Kaneki vaguely wondered if all the wards were small, or if they had been shoved into the smallest bit of space.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Yoshimura inquired politely.
"Not exactly. I found a couple things to read, but I was hoping to find something on ghouls," Kaneki confessed meekily. After speaking to Juuzo, he felt his endeavors were a bit foolish. Somehow he was still far from willing to give up.
Yoshimura chuckled deeply, but Kaneki didn't take offense.
"I can't say I've ever seen anything of that nature, but I'd be happy to keep an eye out for you," the manager offered. Kaneki smiled hesitantly, before nodding his thanks.
He raised his cup to his lips, only to discover the last dregs of his coffee were nearly ice cold. In fact, the room suddenly felt several degrees colder. Holding back a shiver, Kaneki downed the last bit, deeming the coffee too good to waste.
Climbing to his feet, Kaneki stuffed his frigid fingers into his pants pockets.
"I will come back, I promise," Kaneki murmured. He wasn't sure why he included the last part, the man hadn't asked. Exchanging one last kind glance, Kaneki made his way back out how he came in.
Juuzo was still nowhere in sight and Kaneki exited the store undisturbed. Stepping onto the path, his suspicions were confirmed. Night was firmly settled down, and the air was a biting cold.
Ducking his head, Kaneki started his journey home, fighting a sudden onslaught of fatigue. He had learned so much today, done so much he had never done before- yet the sun had still met the horizon as it had every day previous.
Kaneki breathed out a smile, and the air frosted before his eyes.
A/N: Hello! Thank you to everyone who read this chapter, the previous, and especially those who reviewed! I've been meaning to write this for a while, so the idea has festered a bit in my head. I do intend for their to be a pairing (with Kaneki), I haven't ever truly written a plot driven story with a romance. It has always been one or the other, so this is my attempt. I do warn that it won't be fluffy most or the time or even often. If anything it might be kinda open ended. A lot of stuff is going to be going down in Kaneki's world, not exactly prime romance time. I'm hoping for some subtleness, that- seeing that this story goes well- might lead to a sequel or just an epilogue. Basically, I want to set up the scene for more romance. Anyways, if you wanna have any say/ have any preference I do have a poll set up. I included the expected Touka, but also some pairings I rarely see or haven't seen. I want to try something new!
Thanks for reading, and if you have the time, please drop a review. I appreciate any comments on my work whether it's constructive or you just want rage at me.
~~~Have a lovely (I mean ghoulish) day!