A warm breeze whipped B'Elanna's hair as she stared at the sea, munching on her turkey sandwich. Behind her, she could hear her cousin's children playing No'Vitch, their laughter punctuated by shouts and grunts as the players collided. Most of the adults were seated around the food the family had brought for lunch – an uncooked animal, as usual.
Digging her toes into the sand, B'Elanna smiled. She'd always loved the beach – be it on Kessik, Earth, or Qo'noS. The warmth of the sun on her skin, the sound of the waves… hell, even the sand that got everywhere and into everything.
A Klingon man walked between B'Elanna and the ocean, not bothering to pretend that he wasn't staring at her. B'Elanna scowled in return, glaring until the man turned away. He wasn't the first one. When B'Elanna had stripped down to her bikini, her family – even her grandfather - had done a double take. It wasn't surprising, something that looked more like a wetsuit was typical Klingon beach attire – for both genders. But it was too damn hot for that, and B'Elanna refused to have Klingon sensibilities get in her way of having a nice day at the beach.
B'Elanna could hear the sand shifting behind her. Turning, she saw her mother approach. "It was only a few kilometers from here," Miral said, sitting down in the sand, "where Lukara and Kahless finally defeated Morlor's armies."
"Is that so?" B'Elanna replied. It was Lukara jaj – a celebration of Lukara and all Klingon women – so it only seemed fair to let her mom go on about the famous figure.
"It is. We should go to see the statue of Lukara that Kahless carved when we get back to Qam'Chee. It's near the Great Hall."
B'Elanna made a noncommittal noise. Maybe Miral would forget. Maybe B'Elanna would fight Miral on it later. Or maybe she would just go and keep her damn mouth shut. But no need to get into it now – it was too nice a day for arguing.
B'Elanna popped the final bite of her sandwich into her mouth and leaned back on her elbows. She watched as one of her cousins chased his young child into the surf. Before a small wave could hit the girl, he caught her and swung her around. She shouted in delight.
A short distance away, Dar'Rok was walking out of the surf, dragging something that looked like a canoe out of the ocean. Once the boat was securely on the sand, he offered his hand to Krel'Tah, who disembarked in a regal manner.
"Miral," Dar'Rok called as they approached. "The sea is fine today. You should take B'Elanna out, show her the coast."
"That is a good idea." Miral turned to B'Elanna. "Would you like that?"
While being trapped on a small boat with her mother wasn't exactly her idea of a fun excursion, it was getting dull just sitting on the beach - and B'Elanna had always enjoyed being out on the water. "Sure."
After getting through the surf, B'Elanna and Miral settled in and headed south along the coast, B'Elanna sitting forward and Miral taking aft. Few words were exchanged as they bobbed on the turquoise water, passing craggy reddish cliffs dotted with green and brown succulents. B'Elanna drank in the sun and breeze; relished in the rocking of the boat and the motion of paddling. Despite being on a small boat, she felt free.
"Do you see that?" Miral pointed towards a pair of low cliffs, the waves lapping at their base.
"See what?" There was nothing of note on or near the cliffs, other than a shaded bench in an outcrop - although that was hardly a rarity along this shoreline.
"The cliffs."
B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I can see the cliffs. What about them?"
"Do you remember falling into the sea when you were a child?"
"Yeah." It had been on that first trip to Qo'noS. Miral had taken her to the sea for the day. In the midst of looking at tide pools, B'Elanna tried to jump between two cliffs… "Is this where I fell in?"
"It is."
B'Elanna pulled her oar out of the water and placed it on her lap. She could hear Miral do the same. The cliffs weren't nearly as high as she remembered – as an adult, she could imagine herself jumping from them for sport.
"I was watching you play," Miral began, dredging up the memory. "I knew the moment you jumped that you would not make it to the opposite cliff. However, I was not worried – I thought you would fall in the water and climb back out. But when I went to check on you, I saw you, floating face down." Miral paused. "That day was the worst of my life."
B'Elanna turned to face her mother. "Really? But I was fine."
"In the end. But when I pulled you from the sea, you weren't breathing." Miral looked toward the cliff. "I thought I'd lost you."
B'Elanna didn't know what to say. Sorry for being an idiot child…? "But you didn't."
"I didn't." Miral grabbed B'Elanna's hand. "I know we've always fought, but I love you. I never want to lose you."
What in the world is going on right now? B'Elanna mustered a smile. "I know. I love you, too."
"Then hear what I say with love, not anger: I'm worried about you."
B'Elanna's heart thumped against her chest. "Why?"
"You're different than when you left for the Academy. Less focused, less determined. You've given up everything you fought for."
"The Academy was hard." It sounded lame even to B'Elanna's ears.
Miral took a breath. "I want you to tell me what's wrong so we can fight it together."
B'Elanna's grip tightened on the oar. "Mom…"
"Don't sit there and tell me 'nothing's wrong'. You are my daughter and I know you better than you think."
B'Elanna looked down at her hands, over at the cliffs, at the fish swimming through the clear water… anywhere but Miral's eyes. She tried to come up with a way to get out of this, of an excuse that her mother would buy. But the feeling of Miral's eyes boring into her slowly drove B'Elanna towards the truth. "I'm tired. I'm tired and everything – every decision – it feels like too much. I just can't…" B'Elanna trailed off, focusing her attention on her oar, tracing the wood's grains with the tip of her finger.
"Your father would say similar things."
B'Elanna looked again at her mother - and couldn't decide if Miral was pitying her or was disappointed.
"A couple years after you were born, your father changed," Miral continued. "I would ask him what was wrong, and often he would say he was tired. He never wanted to go out and do anything, even the things he had liked – taking you to the park, for instance."
B'Elanna looked back down at the sea. "Was something wrong with him?"
"Nothing that I know of. I thought maybe he needed to get out of the house more – having a child is time consuming. I told him to get involved with something he had a passion for – so he started playing the guitar again. It made him happier for a time."
"So, you think I need to do something I have a passion for?" B'Elanna tried to think of the last time she'd felt passionate about anything.
"I do not know. But you need to fill your days with some kind of joy."
"I suppose you have some ideas?" If she suggests those damn exam classes…
Miral pondered it for a moment. "Klingons take joy in physical activity, especially in improving through training. You enjoy practicing the Mok'bara?"
B'Elanna had started practicing at her grandfather's request and had found it inoffensive. Like paddling the canoe, it cleared her mind and, for a moment, allowed the weight of the future to lift from her shoulders. "Yeah, I like it."
Miral smiled, glad she'd found the key to her daughter's happiness. B'Elanna didn't have the heart to burst her bubble. "Good. Then you should take classes. I will find some for you when we get home."
B'Elanna took a breath and tried to smile. It's better than the exam prep. "Sounds good."
=/\=