Chapter Sixteen-Prayers

Ana and I have been married for three months now, even though it doesn't feel like it. Time has gone by so fast, it's almost unbelievable.

Ana graduated last month with honors and has been applying to jobs around the city in the publishing field. She hasn't heard anything back yet, but I know she's holding out for a particular publishing house that she wants to work at to offer her a job.

I opened up my trust fund and have been working hard to get my business up and running. Ana was adamant about not wanting any of it, but I've been secretly adding about one thousand dollars to her account every week. She hasn't noticed yet.

So far I've been successful with my deals. I'm working out of an office I'm renting at the moment, but when my company, GEH, starts making steady profit I'm going to buy an entire building and build up my company from there.

My and Ana's relationship hasn't gotten much better, I mean it's not terrible and we don't argue as much, but it's not really a good relationship either. We have our good days, but those are rare and far between. For starters we don't see each other a lot since I'm working from almost sun up to sun down, and she's out around looking for a job or volunteering. But when we do see each other it can be awkward.

Neither one of us has told the other how we feel. I've tried a few times but each time I attempt to something else comes up. It's almost like the universe is against me telling her, which is weird since I know I'm supposed to be with her, and only her.

Thankfully it's Friday evening, and I made a promise to myself that even though my business is extremely important I need to take care of business at home too. So I take half days on Fridays. I get as much work done as possible in the morning, and then things I don't get to I do Saturday.

It's going on eight in the evening when I get home, and I'm late only because I stopped by at Gramps to discuss a few problems I had with him. He's been my number one motivator with the process of building my company. He's given me helpful advice and reminds me of things that are important to building a profitable company.

When I get inside I hear heels clicking against the floor. I look up and see Ana strutting towards me in a shimmering sleeveless top, tight leather pants with heeled boots and a silver clutch attached to a small chain hanging from the crook of her arm. I gape at her.

She looks up at me, waves and then walks towards the door.

I grab her arm before she can leave. "Where are you going?"

"Out with Kate," she says, gazing at me impatiently.

"Where is exactly is out?"

"We're going for drinks."

I flatten my mouth. "When will you be home? I want to talk to you."

She takes a deep breath and releasing it, she says, "Um, I'm not sure. Kate says she wants to go clubbing after drinks."

I can't exactly tell her she can't go even though I want to. Sighing, I say, "Uh, alright, be safe, okay?"

"Yes, dear," she mutters as she walks out the door.

I stare after her, wishing our relationship was like how it was on our honeymoon before everything went downhill. I want to have an actual relationship with her. I want to be able to talk to her and her talk to me. We used to be at least friends, and now it's almost like we're strangers living together. I'm tired of living like this. I want to have a real relationship with my wife. I admit part of that is my fault because I haven't tried as hard as I could, but it takes two to make a relationship work, or so I've been told. I just don't know how to approach her and tell her how I feel. I've never told a girl I love her and I don't know how, really.

I walk into the kitchen to get a drink just as I hear her pull out of the driveway. She got her car out of the shop a while back, and even though she promises that it's safe, I still want to trash the pile of metal and get her a new car.

I wait past midnight for her to come home. I watch boring movies in the family room, waiting to hear her walk through the door, but boredom turns into fatigue and before I know it I'm falling asleep on the couch.

A noise coming from the foyer wakes me up. I groggily get up and go see what it was.

"Shhh," I think I hear Ana say. She sounds weird and who is she telling to shush?

"Show me which way your room is," I hear a deep voice say.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I stomp into the foyer. Did she really bring another man into our house? Is she planning on sleeping with him? Fury burns in my veins.

"Is up stair," Ana murmurs, her voice slurred. Her small clutch swings softly on her wrist.

I slide into the foyer just in time to see a man practically carrying my wife up the stairs.

"Get the hell out of my house," I hiss, my voice low and deadly.

Both Ana and the man stumble as they turn around to look at me. I get a glimpse of the guys face and immediately recognize him as the fucker who had his hands all over Ana when we got back from our honeymoon. What was his name? Josh? Joey? No, it's José.

I glare at him as he stands on the steps and stares at me. I climb the stairs and pull Ana into my arms, my eyes fixed on him the entire time.

"I was just bringing her home, she was too gone to drive," he explains, his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

"I thought she was out with Kate?" I ask, my voice still low.

"She was," he says.

"Katy win home," she giggles and unsteadily leans up to wrap her arms around me. I hold her against my chest since she can't seem to stand properly. "She win with Ellie—Elliot."

I frown down at her but then look back at Jose. "Do you have a ride back home?" I ask him.

He nods his head. I raise my brows. He takes the hint and leaves.

I carry Ana up the stairs as she mumbles and giggles about whatever. Going into the guestroom I place Ana on the bed and try to undress her.

"Stop wiggling so I can put you into bed, Ana," I tell her as I try to take off her heels.

"No," she grumbles. "I don wanna go to bed."

I ignore her as I continue to try to pull of her shoes. She kicks her feet and twists her body as she tries to crawl up the bed.

"Ana, seriously, come on. Don't you wanna go to sleep?"

She gazes at me with unfocused eyes. She nods her head. "I wanna sleep with you."

"Good then let me—What?" I ask after realizing what she said.

She crawls towards me on wobbly limbs, her cleavage on full display and her ass in the air. I stare down at her as she kneels in front of me, wraps her arms around my neck and tries to kiss me.

Her breath smells like straight alcohol. "How did you get into a bar and you're not twenty-one yet?" I ask.

I didn't even think about her not being twenty-one when she left. Kate turned twenty-one last month and it just slipped my mind that Ana won't be twenty-one until September.

She giggles. "I'll never tell." She tries to kiss me again. I pull her hands away from my head and lay her down.

"Let's get you into bed," I say, attempting once again to get her undressed.

She grabs my shirt and pulls me on top of her. "Join me," she breathes, licking my neck. I groan and pull away. I haven't had sex in what feels like years and the first time she wants to sex me up she would have to be drunk.

"No. You need to sleep."

"Yes, with youuu." She pulls me against her again.

"Ana, stop."

She falls back against the bed with a pout and looks at me with tears in her eyes. I sigh. Here comes the drunken waterworks. She would have to be a crier.

"Why don't you want me?" A tear rolls down her cheek.

I climb on the bed and look down at her as I unbutton her pants and pull them down. "I do want you, Ana. I always want you."

"You do?"

I nod my head as I sit her up and take off her shirt. I take off my t-shirt and slip it onto her. I'm surprised she doesn't try to fight me.

When I lay her down on the pillow she's looking up at me with droopy eyes. She's about to fall asleep. I lean over and kiss her on the forehead. I pull back to leave but she grabs my wrist.

"Stay with me," she whispers, her eyes closed.

I don't want to leave her when she's like this, so I stay and snuggle under the covers, pulling her body against mine.

"Christian," I hear her whisper.

"Hmm?" I rub my chin against her cheek.

She sleepily giggles and turns in my arms and looks at me. Lifting her finger she runs it gently over my lips. "I miss kissing you." She looks into my eyes. "I miss sleeping with you." She closes her eyes and snuggles against my chest. She sighs contently. "Mmm, I love Christian," she mumbles into my chest. I feel her go limp as she falls asleep.

I gaze down at her sleeping form and run my hand up and down her arms. Leaning down I whisper into her ear, "I love you, too."

I shift to turn off the light, and then snuggle back against Ana, falling into a deep sleep.

I wake up the next morning when I feel the warm beams of sunlight hit my face. I shift, and open my eyes, remembering that I fell asleep in the guestroom with Ana in my arms. I look down on my chest where her hand and head are resting, and smile when I see her sleeping peacefully. This is the first time in a long while that we've slept together.

I gently get up to use the bathroom without waking Ana. I tip toe across the floor and my foot accidentally knocks into something. I look down seeing that it's only Ana's purse but I do a double take when I realize I accidentally kicked some things out of it.

I slowly bend down and pick up the aluminum packets. I stare at them for a moment and then look at Ana. Why would she need condoms? She's on birth control, but that's beside the point. We haven't had sex since our honeymoon, and when we did we didn't use a condom, so why the fuck does she have these? Was she planning on using these with some other fucker?

Through a red haze, I stuff the condoms back into her purse and leave the room, not even glancing back.

I use the bathroom, go to the master bedroom—the room me and Ana are supposed to be sharing—and go down to the kitchen to make coffee and get a bowl of cereal.

It's not until a few hours later that Ana finally wakes up and comes down the stairs, still wearing my shirt but with pajama shorts underneath. I'm sitting at the kitchen island, going through emails but watching Ana out of my periphery as she walks further into the kitchen.

"Hi," she says, walking over to the cabinet to grab a mug.

I glance at her, my face impassive. "Hello."

She makes herself a cup of tea, and then turns around to face me, the island blocking her slender legs from my view. She holds the mug in both of her hands as she awkwardly stands before me.

Her tired blue eyes find mine. "So, um, did you put me to bed? I'm assuming you did since this is your shirt."

I gaze at her, emotionless. "We're you expecting someone else to put you to bed?" I ask a little harshly.

She frowns at me. "Uh, no. But I do remember José bringing me home last night. I was just making sure it was you who undressed me."

"Hmm." I look back down at my phone and continue reading my emails.

"Are you okay?" she asks, placing the mug on the countertop.

"I'm fantastic."

"Well you don't sound it. Are you mad at me or something? Is this because I came home drunk or that José brought me home? Because if it is I—"

I put my phone down and glare at her. "Why do you have condoms in your purse, Ana?" I ask, tired of beating around the bush. I want to know if she was planning on fucking someone else last night.

Her eyes widen. "What?"

"Oh don't play the innocent act. Were you going to fuck someone else last night? Because may I remind you even though we got married to get something out of it, our vows were real and said before God and our closest friends and families. So tell me, Anastasia, have you've been unfaithful to me?"

Her mouth falls open and an appalled expression colors her face. "You think I would cheat on you?" she whispers.

"Well if you weren't why the fuck are there condoms in your purse, Ana? Do you expect me to believe they just magically fell in there?" I yell at her. My fists are clenched against the countertop and my knuckles are white and my jaw clenched.

"I can't believe you, Christian. We may say some hurtful things to each other and we may irritate the hell out of each other, but I would never fucking cheat on you! And I wouldn't disregard our vows like that, that's the only real thing in our marriage," she says.

She's looking at me like I'm a completely different person, but I'm still seeing red at the thought of someone else having my wife.

She shakes her head at me and stomps away towards the foyer.

"Where are you going?" I ask her.

"To my dad's. I can't even stand to look at you."

I follow her into the foyer, my eyes watching every movement she makes. She snatches her keys off the hook on the wall.

I grab her arm and pull her towards me before she even has the chance to open the door.

"You can't go running to daddy every time something goes wrong, Ana! Just for once in this fucked up relationship, just talk to me damn it!"

She lifts her head and looks me in the eye. "Fine. You want me to talk. I'll talk. Ever since this stupid arrangement started I knew that I was making a mistake. I knew it, but I ignored my gut feeling because the thought of being with you exhilarated me, even though I knew it was all fake. I wanted to know what it felt like to be with you so I could at least hope to find some closure for the teenager I was once that fantasized about you every single day. But that only backfired on me. The more time we spent together the deeper my feelings got for you until I couldn't fight it anymore. But I knew . . . I knew it was pointless loving you because ever since we were younger it's only ever been about you. About what you wanted. But my heart didn't care, and now I'm hopelessly in love with you, but that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? Because I'm only something that you used to get what you wanted." She gazes at me with watery eyes and a pale face. "Elliot gave me those condoms as a joke, and I absentmindedly put them in my purse last night. Now ask me again if I have or ever will cheat on you. My answer will always be no, because my heart will never want any other. Is that answer good enough for you?"

She wipes the tears from her cheeks, turns around and swings open the front door. I stand stupefied in the foyer for a few seconds as I watch her speed walk to her car.

My legs finally catch up with my brain and I sprint out of the door after her.

"Ana, wait!" I call as she starts the car and puts it in drive. She ignores me as she zooms down the driveway as I call out for her.

I chase her car just as she pulls out onto the road without looking, and in slow motion I helplessly watch as a UPS truck hits her left side and pushes her car further down the road. My mind slowly goes blank as I hear tires screeching and people yelling.

My body goes on autopilot as I run towards her, the only sound I now hear is blood rushing past my ears. I get to her car and my legs about give out when I see most of the driver's side pushed in and Ana's body trapped in between the door and her seat.

"Oh my God. Ana!"

My hands shake as I try to open the passenger door and find a way to pull her out, but the door isn't budging. Bystanders run over and try to help. I glance up and see my neighbor, James McNally, rapidly talking to someone on the phone. I'm assuming it's the police but I don't hear a word he says, my mind only on getting to Ana.

His wife Sandra comes over and puts her hands on my shoulders as I try to pry the door open, even though I know it's no use. Other men around me try to find a way to get Ana out from different angles but its hopeless effort, they need the Jaws of Life to get her out. The back end of the left side of her car is completely smashed in, and I feel my heart flutter and my knees buckle as I think about the possibility that Ana could have been completely crushed by metal and plastic.

"Help is on the way, honey, don't fret."

"She's still in there! She's not moving! I have to help her! I promised I would keep her safe. I promised!" I cry.

She continues to console me and it feels like it takes centuries before the ambulance and firetrucks arrive. Everything becomes a blur as they pull her out of the car and into the ambulance. I try to force my way onto the ambulance with Ana, but the paramedics won't let me since she's such in a severe condition. The McNally's offer to drive me to the hospital.

My mind is completely blank as I sit in the waiting room with my family and Ray as we wait for news. It's been almost seven hours and we still haven't heard anything. I've begged my mother about twenty dozen times to do something to make it go faster, but she tells me each time that I have to be patient and that Ana is strong. Not once, I noticed, did she say that Ana will be okay.

I know it's bad, and I know my mother knows how bad it really is but she won't tell me. By the tone of her voice I know my mother thinks there's a chance she won't make it. Every time I think about that possibility I feel like my heart fails and my soul becomes a big dark void that only Ana can fill.

I can't sit still and I constantly avoid Ray's gaze. I can't look at him knowing that I promised to keep Ana safe and yet here we all are in a sterile waiting room, waiting to hear if she's still with us. The tears continue nonstop down my cheeks and nothing anyone can say or do will make the pain go away. I know the only thing that will quell the horrible, heart-wrenching pain is Ana's beautiful baby blue eyes and her lively giggle.

"Family of Anastasia Grey?"

I immediately run towards the doctor and stand directly in front of her.

"Is my wife okay? Please tell me she's okay," I beg.

She looks weary but her voice is clear and alert. "I'm Dr. Crowe and your wife is alive but in critical condition. She has suffered severe internal injuries, mainly to her stomach and spleen due to a couple broken ribs puncturing tissue, but we managed to repair them and stem the bleeding. She's suffered from breaks in her arm and leg as well, and we have set them accordingly to make certain they heal as normal as possible." She stops and looks at me. "Unfortunately, though, recovery will take much longer with the trauma that her head has undergone. The MRI scan showed her brain has moderate swelling, so we've induced a coma to keep her from aggravating her injuries. Her bones will heal in time, but we will only know the damage to her brain once she wakes up."

"But she will wake up?" I ask desperately.

"Only time will tell. The most we can do for now is monitor her and make sure the healing process is as uncomplicated as possible."

I take a deep breath and nod my head, keeping the debilitating hopelessness I feel at bay as I feel my chances of ever seeing my wife awake again slip through my fingers.

"Can I see her?" I ask, my voice thick with unshed tears.

The doctor smiles sympathetically at me. "Of course. She's in a private room in the ICU but only two people at a time can sit with her."

I'm sitting alone in Ana's clinical stark white room. The steady beeps of her heart monitor and the slow rise and fall of her chest the only signs that my wife is still with us. Everyone's come in to see her, but I've never left her side. I'll never leave her side again.

I hold her hand in both of mine and press my lips against her cool skin. It's a miracle she didn't die on impact as I look at the damage done to her beautiful body. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I haven't stopped crying since I got here, and I doubt I will until I see Ana's mesmerizing eyes.

I need her to be okay. I'm not ready to let go of her yet. We haven't had enough time. We need more time.

God I know I've done some very bad things in my life, but please don't take her yet. I'll give up everything, the money, GEH, everything. Just not her. Not my beautiful wife. I won't ever ask for anything else. Just please don't take her away from me.

Epilogue is next. I won't keep you waiting long ;)

Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites.

SS&G xoxo

If this was going to be a tragic story I would have warned you in the beginning, just so you know.