So I realize when I first wrote this I had no idea how concussions worked. So...sorry. This is probably the most changed plot wise for this re-write. I'm also changing the chapter name since "Remembering What?" doesn't really apply anymore... Thank you for checking it out regardless!

Fandom: Kyo Kara Maoh

Pairing: Conyuu

Rating: T for language

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Warnings: Angst

Mental

Ch 3: Concussion

After that night, Conrad wouldn't touch him. No idle caresses. No stroking his hair. No holding his hand. No hugs. Nothing. He wouldn't touch the young king, and would barely looked at him. Yuuri idly wondered if he would ever feel those rough, yet gentle, fingers glide down his cheek as a caress. His smile would never again be the same when it was directed towards him, nor shall it be real. Just a fake disguise to mask his true expressions of disgust and shame.

Yuuri would forever and always just be that kid who Conrad only sees as platonic. After all, why would he ever be interested in a child as stupid and troublemaking as him? There is no reason, and after seeing him like that, there will never be. He sighed. He had to face the facts. Conrad is out of his league and is straight. Yuuri closed his eyes. Great. Now he's a homosexual pervert along with a pathetic excuse for a king.

He couldn't take it anymore. His head is muddled with confusion and stress and fear. He slowly lies back down so he wouldn't hurt himself more than he already has. He idly drifts off into his own fantasy world where Conrad would love him regardless of what happened. He started crying. Why couldn't that be real? He shook as he cried himself to sleep.

When the sun was shining across his eyes, Yuuri slowly opened them to see Conrad's lean figure standing high above the little bed. He was pouring a glass of water, and Yuuri watched as his vision started getting spotty. Or was it always spotty? Wait...spots?

Conrad turn to see the young boy making a fuss. His shoulders were taut ready to spring into action if need be. He gently placed a hand against the king's forehead to check his temperature. Those cool fingers pressed against his flesh made the boy remember the same icy fingers groping his chest. He gasped out and slapped the hand away. Wait, no. That was Conrad. Why did he slap his hand away? Why?

"Heika, what seems to be the problem? You have a fever, please try to rest," Conrad spoke softly and monotonously. No emotion was given in his voice, which only broke Yuuri's heart more. He swallowed before replying.

"I-I'm seeing sports. I...Everything...is spotted."

"It's okay, Heika. That's a normal side effect of a concussion. I suspected you've had one. Can you remember if any of those...if you hit your head?" Conrad spoke slowly and carefully.

"C-Concussion? Ah...yeah. My ear was bleeding. So...you mean, I have a concussion?"

"I believe so. How long have you been seeing spots, Heika?"

"I, uh...I don't know. I just now realized it, but...I think they've been there for awhile," Yuuri played baseball, so it's not like he was around concussions often. He didn't exactly know what to expect with them. He looked up at those blank hazel eyes for the first time in what felt like years. "Wh-What else is going to happen? More than spots?" His voice sounded like a scared child's.

"The most common things are headaches, nausea, and vision issues. We'll have to get you treatment fast if it is a concussion. I've already sent out a messenger bird, so a medic and a carriage should be here soon. Don't worry, Heika," he gave an empty smile, and Yuuri only swallowed and nodded. Conrad sat in a chair next to the bed until Yuuri fell asleep again. He wanted to make sure he'd be okay before leaving to check up on things.

It wasn't until the moon was high in the sky that Yuuri woke up. He looked around for Conrad, who was nowhere to be seen. He was probably in his own room. A nice, shiny glass of water caught his eye as he realized just how dry his throat was. He moved to sit up and reach for the glass before toppling over. His head was spinning and the moving spots reminded him of a bad American 70's movie he watched with his dad once. His stomach was spinning almost as badly as his head was and he felt a warm burn creep up his chest as a bitter taste flashed at the back of his throat.

Turns out he can only move in very slow, very short movements, otherwise he ends up on the floor writhing in pain. He heard a loud crash and though for a moment he had accidentally knocked the glass to the ground. Turns out it was just himself crashing to the floor.

At least his head wasn't spinning as badly if he was laying down.

Conrad came into the room to help him up. Or, at least, he thinks it was Conrad? It has to be, he's the only other one in the cabin. But for some reason, he can't quite remember if it was Conrad or not? A blanket fell on top of him after he was lifted back to bed. Did he fight back at the touch? Or was his nausea enough to calm him down? His hand stung. Did he land on his hand? Why couldn't he remember clearly? His head felt like it was swimming.

Either way, morning came, and along with it, Conrad. Yuuri looked up to see his cheek swollen. He let out a shocked gasp.

"Ohjeez, Conrad! What happened to cheek?" Yuuri remembered his hand stinging in the middle of the night and a slight struggle. Was there a struggle? He sat up too quickly, and held his head in his hand before laying back down. Conrad didn't know whether to help him or leave him be. The sight of his king, his secret love, suffering like this tore his heart in two. But he was just his retainer. What right did he have to do anything when Yuuri was already betrothed, to his little brother no less? Just swallow your feelings down. Swallow them down and smile.

"This is nothing, Heika. Please don't worry about me," swallow your feelings down and smile. Smile.

"Whadya mean it's nuthing? Did I do tha to yu? Why can I worry! I'rr find out eventurry!" The young boy was shouting absolute nonsense at a wide eyed soldier. Yuuri doesn't think he's ever seen Conrad's face so shocked before. "Why can I worry! Just let me do thaaa! Why won't yu eva tell meh anythind!" Tears were brimming at his eyes, threatening to overflow. He quickly wiped them away. He hated this. He hated this. He hated this! Why was he making such a fuss? He was acting like a child. He didn't even really care, he was use to Conrad hiding his real emotions behind a masked smile, so why was he getting upset now?

"I-I'm...Your Majest. Please, forgive me for my impudence. I never intended to upset you, Heika," Yuuri was surprised to hear his stoic knight stutter. He must have really shocked him for that to happen.

"Damn it, Conrad," the tears were falling as the younger boy quickly wiped them away. "Just shush up. I donn wanna hear it."

"Please forgive me, Heika."

"It's YUURI DAMN IT!" The young king screamed as he threw his pillow at the older man. That was a very bad idea, however, because after the pillow went flying, the young king slowly fell to the floor, too. Or at least he would have, if Conrad didn't step in to catch him. He wrapped his arms around his slim shoulders and helped him back up in bed.

"Please be careful, Yuuri. You need to rest," Conrad whispered, hiding all the pain.

"Yeah...I'm sorry," Yuuri lied back down in bed as Conrad fixed his pillow and blanket. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw things at you."

"It's okay, Yuuri. Concussions can make your irritable and slur your speech, too. When we get back to the castle, things will be better."

"I'm sorry."

"Please get some rest. Is there anything else you need, Yuuri?"

A kiss. A hug. For you to tell me you love me. For you to tell me you love me even after what happened. For you to stay by my side. For you to never leave me. Hold my hand. Stay with me.

"I'm fine, Conrad."