Yeah, I re-wrote this one again since I re-wrote 1-3 as third person while this one was originally 1st person...oh well. But now I'm caught up with the re-write! Yay! Also, I'm changing this chapter title from "The Stars" to fit with my one word titles right now… Ugh, I'm a mess and this story is a mess. I'm sorry.

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters

Pairing: Conyuu

Warning: Trigger, Angst, PTSD

Chapter 4: Stars

The small cabin was suffocating. It's been over a week since Yuuri was brought here. Conrad can't leave him alone because of the concussion, and he didn't come with anyone else. The capital was sent a messenger pigeon, so help should be here soon. Due to the trauma from his injuries, or the trauma from the concussion, neither one of them really knows, everything has been hazy for the young king. The days blur together and the only thing that makes him realize time is passing by is the stars. They were always his favorite. It was night now, and he wanted to see the stars. He couldn't bear to be locked in this tiny room any longer.

Yuuri slowly creep his way out into the hall, silent as the night. He was barely clothed in a button up Conrad brought and a pair of my school pants look-a-like he has. Wait. Look-a-like? Wouldn't they just be the actual uniform pants? But for some reason, it just feels like they aren't. His gut twists, and a wave of nausea overtakes him.

I think I'm gonna hurl.

Instead, all he can muster up the energy to do is just slide onto the floor and lay there for what seems like an eternity of nauseous hell. Jesus Christ how do football players deal with concussions all the time? He's glad he plays baseball. The young boy closes his eyes for just a moment to wait for the spell to pass, it shouldn't take long and then he can go watch the stars.

"Heika!" he hears a scream and bolts open his eyes. "Heika! Hey, hey! You're okay, you're okay. It's okay. Don't worry, shhh. It's okay," Conrad is hovering over him and strokes a hand through his hair just barely touching him.

"What's wrong Conrad? I was just laying down for a moment before going to see the stars," he mumbles. Strange, his throat feels too dry to speak above a whisper. He should probably ask for something to drink.

"Heika, it's already daytime," Conrad gives a sad smile and slowly pulls the teen up so he can lean against the wall in the hallway.

"Daytime? B-but I came out when the stars were up...you mean...I missed them?" That weak, hoarse voice cracks like some pre-pubescent child and his eyes pool up with tears. He doesn't even know why, they just start flowing.

"Heika-"

"It's YUURI DAMNIT!" He lashes out at Conrad, tears falling down his slender face and body, trembling. He can't tell if he's upset over sleeping through the night and missing the stars, about the injury, about not completely remembering how I got the injury, about not exactly wanting to remember, about Conrad never using his name no matter how many times he asks, or about his own feelings for Conrad that he knows he can never voice. The shocked look on his face immediately makes a wave of guilt poor over the young boy. He was only trying to help him…

"I-I'm sorry…" the teen whimpers out and wipe the tears away. No matter how much he wipes and wipes, they just keep coming. A warmth surrounds his back and he sees Conrad loosely fitting his jacket around his slender shoulders.

"Yuuri, it's okay. You don't need to cry. Let's get some food and water in you, and you'll feel much better," Conrad slowly and calmly speaks, like the teen is an injured animal, and gives that reassuring smile which sends a tingle down my spine. It was the first real smile the boy had seen since his accident. What exactly was his accident again? Most likely a car crash, or in this case, carriage crash, with the injuries he was sporting.

"Right…" he slowly whispers as he pulls Conrad's jacket tightly around himself. It smells like his warm, earthy scent and a tinge of musky sweat. It's comforting and relaxing and it feels like Conrad is the one hugging him. He could only wish he was the one hugging him instead of some jacket. Yuuri wishes he would hold his hand. He wishes he would hold him while he slept. He wishes he wasn't disgusted by what happened to him. Wait. What did happen to him? Why would Conrad be disgusted? Everything seems to just blur together and the king can barely remember anything now. Except for Conrad. He would always remember everything about Conrad. Because...he loves him. He feels the tears coming again and he can't stop them. He's hugging his knees against a wall in the hallway of some cabin wrapped in the jacket of the man he is head over heels in love with sobbing while he's gently stroking his hair.

"It's okay, Yuuri. We can watch the stars together tonight, okay? I'll show you my favorite constellations, okay? So you don't need to cry, okay? I'm right by your side, Yuuri. I'll always be right by your side, in this life and the next," he slowly whispers in his ear, and wraps his arms around him, never stopping his gentle fingers running through my hair. His warmth. His hug. His comfort.

It felt disgusting. Why? Why did his touch make my skin burn? Yuuri loved him, so why?

It was enough to tear his heart in two.