A/N: Another look, another view of how Cloud's return from the Lifestream could have gone. There's so much to explore after the closing scene in Advent Children. In this, I would like to address that shy yet rather flirtatious look Tifa gave Cloud as he stood in Aerith's pool, and that little cat smile on his face as he looked at her…

Chapter Summary: Cloud is back. In the flesh, in her bar, with her and her friends. He's beaten Sephiroth once again, and though he died in Yazoo and Loz's finally attack, Aerith and Zack allowed him to return from the Lifestream. But when she chances to meet his eyes, the loneliness in his shocks her. So she asks him to take her somewhere the others can't overhear their conversation…

Jealousy, Take 20

Ivy Elise Tanté

Cloud Strife was home. He was alive and hale, a quiet presence in a roomful of jubilant celebration. Tifa Lockhart could only imagine how difficult it might be for him to sit there sipping a cup of coffee, totally surround by the nearly insane revelry of their friends. The volume of noise within the room threatened to rattle the windows on occasion as everyone seemed bent on blowing off as much steam as possible - and quickly.

And she couldn't look at him enough.

It was as though the time spent apart had resulted in this hungry need to memorize his features. The way his blonde spikes fluttered slightly every time he turned his head. The pale skin that never seemed to tan no matter how much he was outdoors. The glint of those incredibly blue eyes, the glow very noticeable in the dim light of the bar. The sinuous movements of his body when he shifted in his chair, face reflecting discomfort every time one of their group started over-emphasizing his role in defeating the Remnants and stopping Sephiroth - yet again.

Dressed only in a gray t-shirt and dark jeans, thick socks on his feet instead of boots, Cloud looked so young to Tifa. Yet his eyes were eons old and he was so careful to keep his thoughts hidden from those celebrating around him.

Handing over yet another glass of whiskey (neat) to Cid, Tifa found herself wondering just what he was thinking right at that moment. Then her eyes met his for just a split second, and the aching loneliness within his shocked her to the core. Ignoring all the conversations going on around her, she crossed the bar with long strides that brought her to his side before he had time to look away.

"Cloud, could you help me for just a minute?" On the outside Tifa was composed, the sweet smile so typical of her giving her face a soft glow. Within, though, she could feel her courage faltering. The last time she had tried to talk to Cloud about their relationship had been the night they camped under the Highwind before facing Sephiroth in the Northern Crater. The memory alone was enough to make her blush, because they hadn't really said a lot - at least not in words...

There was no expression on his face as he put down his coffee cup and rose to his feet, taking the time to shove his feet into the boots sitting beside him. Instead of speaking, he merely gestured that he would follow her. Tifa knew she surprised him when she headed for the front door - he probably expected her to enter the kitchen, as that was usually the meeting place of choice in the bar. But she wanted to get away from the crowd and the noise -and prying eyes and ears- before saying anything.

As he walked out the door behind her, she turned and asked him, "Do you have the keys to Fenrir on you?"

A nod set the blonde spikes into motion.

"Then take me somewhere that overly-interested gang of gossips can't hear us."

The too-apt description of their group had his lips quirking at the corners as he mounted the formidable-looking bike, waiting until she settled behind him before revving it to life and taking off. The speed seemed reckless, but Tifa knew his reflexes were more than a match for the velocity and snuggled against his lean form, just enjoying the warmth and scent of the man as he drove out of Edge and into the canyons beyond.

It wasn't until they reached a cliff overlooking the ruins of Midgar that he finally stopped, bringing Fenrir about in a skidding turn right in front of... the Buster Sword. For a long moment Tifa sat behind Cloud on the motorcycle and just stared at the weapon glinting in the moonlight. And she could feel the stillness of the man in front of her, the way he seemed to barely breathe as the silence closed in on them.

But he was the first to make a move by placing his hand over hers where they were wrapped around his waist. Still no words - that was very typical of Cloud. The gesture seemed to indicate he was willing to hear what she had to say instead of withdrawing as was his habit.

Encouraged, Tifa climbed off the bike and watched him lower the kickstand then cut off the motor. Cloud sat on Fenrir for another long moment before dismounting and walking to the Buster Sword. When he grasped the hilt, it was almost a shock to realize he wasn't wearing gloves.

Cloud finally spoke, his words very quiet in the stillness of the night. "He came to me during the battle." His fingers tightened their hold on the dark red handle. "So strong, so vital. So many of the things I'm not." With his hand sliding off the hilt he turned, too-blue eyes burning in the darkness.

Unable to help herself, Tifa stepped forward and slid her hands up his chest to wrap around his neck. Though he wasn't much taller than her, she still had to stand on tiptoe to press her lips to his. The jolt of his body, the hard inhale of breath spoke eloquently of his shock. Stepping back abruptly, he gasped out, "Tifa?"

"That was for believing in my words even when you didn't believe in yourself," she said softly, brushing her bangs out of her face.

The raised eyebrow had her grinning. Cloud had always been a very complex man, his moods and tendencies largely unpredictable. Yet when he opened his heart there was very little he couldn't accomplish. The trick was finding the key to unlock what lay inside him.

"I… You…" His voice trailed off as he stood there staring at her, the night outlining him in stars. Then he turned away slightly as he spoke again, "You were so passionate. It's… difficult to tell you no sometimes."

That staggered her. "Really?" she squeaked out. Then again, in a more thoughtful tone, "Really."

It might have been only the wind, but something that sounded suspiciously like a snort drifted by. "Really," he confirmed, studying the heavens above him.

Moonlight was glinting on his pale skin and blonde hair, and Tifa was struck by just how beautiful he was. But there was something about him so unreachable, so distant it brought tears to her eyes. Taking a step forward, she asked almost desperately, "What are you thinking? Right at this moment?"

A soft mirthless laugh floated on the night wind. "That I'm a coward to the core."

The words, and the quickness in which he spoke them, was another shock. "Why?" she asked, not knowing what could cause him to feel that way.

"I want to hold you like I did that night, but…" And he looked at her, eyes again reflecting the aching loneliness she had glimpsed earlier, "I'm just not sure I have the right to any longer."

Swallowing around the lump in her throat, Tifa tried to figure out what to say. But she was no better at communicating her thoughts than he was, unfortunately. She should have forced him to face the inconsistencies in his story right from the beginning on their quest to save the world from the insane general of ShinRa. Wasn't it her indecision about tackling his misconceptions that ultimately led to -in so many ways- his fragmented mind shattering under the pressure of Sephiroth's mental attacks?

Had he ever blamed her for that once he knew the truth? No. Not once. Not ever.

And yet he considered himself a coward?

Gathering what courage she possessed, Tifa stepped up to him and again wrapped her arms around his neck. When she felt his hands slip over her hips, reawakening sweet memories of the single night they had shared, her eyes drifted closed as his mouth touched hers. The contact was so brief she made a sound of protest, causing his arms to tighten their hold. Another kiss feathered over her lips then he released her completely.

The sudden loss of his warmth had her shivering in the night chill. "Cloud…" she sighed.

"I didn't bring you out here for that." He turned away again, once more standing just out of reach. "You said in the bar that you wanted to talk to me."

Again she dared to demand his thoughts. "Tell me what you're feeling right now."

To her surprise, Cloud narrowed those glowing eyes at her and growled out, "Hunger."

And she finally found her anger. "Why, Cloud? It's been two years since that battle with Sephiroth, two years since we've been anything other than friends. Why the hunger now? What has changed?"

When he whirled around, the same type of anger she felt was reflected in his eyes as he stalked towards her, taking hold of her arms to pull her closer. "Because I died, Tifa. And I realized what a fool I've been all this time, thinking the whole world revolves around me and my problems. Life goes on, hard as that may sound. You can either live it or fade away. I'm tired of trying to fade." The words just seemed to erupt from deep within, snarled out in a way that had her pulse thumping.

Gods, had she thought him beautiful before? His anger merely intensified his attractiveness, making it so hard to think rationally. Taking a deep breath, she released herself from his hold and stepped back. Cloud continued to stand there, eyes now smoldering in a way she had only seen once in her life. Suddenly he didn't seem untouchable anymore, and it took all her willpower not to reach out to him.

Composing her thoughts, she voiced a question she had never before had the courage to ask. "What do you feel for me?"

That made him laugh ruefully and run restless fingers through his spiky hair. Frustration showed in his eyes as he snapped out, "What I have always felt for you, Tifa. Love. I've loved you for so long I don't think I could possibly feel anything else, even if I wanted to."

The straight out admittance nearly stole her breath away. But the anger was still there, causing her to rap out, "And you couldn't tell me before now?"

"Told you I was a coward to the core," was his flippant response. The casual humor was belied by the tension evident in his toned frame. "I don't… know what to do with what I feel, Tifa. The emotions are just so huge that... it scares me. I don't want to… need you like this. Like I can't survive without the sound of your voice, the smell of your hair. There's got to be something wrong with me to be this dependent."

Oh, the things she wanted to say! Instead, Tifa closed her eyes and firmly counted to ten. When she reopened her wine red eyes, the determination in them had Cloud swallowing hard.

But he didn't retreat from her.

Stepping back up to him, she caressed his cheek and told him firmly, "Then you listen to me, and you listen good. You're mine, Cloud Strife. And I will forever be yours." Standing on tiptoe, she pressed another kiss on him and felt the way he clung to her despite his fear. It brought back the tender memories again, and had her grinning up at him. "You've got a bedroll stored in one of the compartments on that bike, right?"

Mind reeling, Cloud asked a rather stupid question, "Yeah, but why…?"

"We're gonna need it before I'm finished with you."

"Oh… oh…"