A/N: The list is way too long for me to add, and I have all of you to thank for that! It's just a massive chunk of text, so I'll just thank each and every one of you right here for reading this fic. I know the quality has somewhat decreased (I'm sorry), but I'm trying to get in the flow of YJ again. I just know I love this pairing a lot, so thank you for tolerating me :)

PS: I edited this chapter, I realised it had jumped from one conclusion to another one way too much. BUT. I HAVE MY FINALS RIGHT NOW. And as much as I would love to update tomorrow, which is Wally's birthday which would finally signify one year that I've been in this fandom and this ship, I can't :( But once exams are done, I'm literally free for the rest of the year. Can't wait!

THANK YOU GUYS! SO SO MUCH :)

Chapter 16: Reason

The roof of her Gotham apartment had been her solace for days, the cold wind numbing her skin and the deep ache she felt inside her chest. The grey clouds obstructed the rays of sunlight, shadowing Gotham City in its usual gloomy glow and her hair whipped around her face, blocking her vision every now and then as she surveyed the city around her.

Artemis could hear the usual hustle and bustle of Gotham, the honks of cars, yelling of pissed off drivers, car alarms, televisions, and life seemed to go on even though she felt like she'd been left behind. It had been several days, almost a week since she had left the Cave, and although she had left nothing behind except for her favourite green bottle that she had used during training, Artemis still felt empty.

She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way, purposeless but with so much time to kill that she was wondering why she hadn't died of boredom yet. Boredom, and guilt.

Her mom was beginning to catch on, despite the archer's attempts to pretend nothing was wrong and that the reason why she hadn't been to the Cave was because she was so busy. Busy with homework, her part-time job, her school activities, and chores.

If Paula Crock had noticed her daughter's sudden interest in vacuuming the floor every day, she hadn't commented. In fact, it was the only noise that could drown out the swirling guilt in the archer's thoughts and every day at seven in the evening, she would pull out their ratty old vacuum that smelt of old cheese and start vacuuming even if the floor was still spotless from the day before.

Her mother wasn't the only one who was playing innocent, Zatanna had started texting her every day, talking about everything and anything, from Robin's recent prank on Superboy to M'gann's new brownie recipe. Even though Artemis hadn't replied to any of her texts, it still eased her conscience to know that Zee hadn't given up on her.

In fact, as she stared at the children playing at a public basketball court across the street, and at the ordinary people that frequented her street, Artemis had the perfect opportunity to ponder about life. It wasn't something she liked to do often, because it often left her feeling lost and sad, but she couldn't forget the fact that this hiatus offered her the chance to give up altogether.

Why had she wanted to be a vigilante in the first place? She could've followed her mother's footsteps, to throw everything behind and live a normal life that Paula had always wanted for her. She could finally be ordinary for once, just like every single person she had been watching for the past few days, worrying about what to wear or stressing about her future that didn't consist of a ninety-nine percent chance of death. She could forget about the green costume that was tucked in the furthest recesses of her drawers, and maybe one day, she could take them out to have a final glance before throwing them away, just like she would an old toy, or her old clothes that didn't fit anymore.

Why?

She used to think it was because she had to atone for her sins, and her parents'. That maybe she didn't have to follow the family business, and it gave her power to think she could do exactly what Lawrence hated. To deny his control was empowering, and she had loved every moment of it. Except now, she wasn't sure if she could continue on with that one motivation.

She knew she wasn't like the others. They seemed to all have been born with the innate sense of goodness that had completely eluded the archer, and all she felt was regret and guilt. Regret because as much as she wanted to trust the others, she was scared. Scared of petty feelings like rejection and she was guilty because pushing others away caused pain on both parties. Especially Wally, Artemis knew she would always feel guilty for what had happened with Wally, and she regretted not knowing what might have happened- what could have happened.

Artemis kicked an empty can and it clattered across the floor before tipping over the edge.

"What is she doing here?" whispered Wally to Robin, the moment Artemis stopped to stand next to M'gann. The archer had tried to avoid his pointed look and his presence as she stood quietly next to the martian, seemingly focused on analysing her bow.

"It's good to see you," M'gann said with a smile on her face, and Artemis gave her a small one in return. Frankly, it comforted the archer to know that not everyone completely hated her. But still, she ignored the hurt look that flashed across the martian's face and went back to finding faults in her bow that were non-existent.

Artemis paid no regard either to the disappointed twitch of Conner's lips, and she knew he disapproved of her current behaviour. But it was for the best, she had decided as much. She had too many secrets, too many scars that she wasn't ready to reveal- not yet. Not when she knew they could, and would, turn their back on her the moment they found out who she was.

She had been surprised when Robin had showed up at her apartment the day before. In fact, the archer wouldn't put it pass him if he knew exactly who she was and who her parents were. Her reception had been particularly frosty because he had pried into her personal information, but Robin seemed genuine enough. And on the other hand, he had offered a deal.

Last run, and you can back out whenever you want, he had said, with the usual sunglasses hiding his eyes but his lips had been curved in a placatory smile.

The archer glanced at the Boy Wonder out of the corner of her eyes as he whispered something back to the speedster. Despite how hard she tried to tune her ears towards the two, Robin had mastered the art of whispering much better than the redhead and she scowled to herself.

Why do I even care? She asked herself. Last run, and I'm out.

Wally's indignant voice reached her ears and she looked up just as the speedster leaned back from the younger boy.

"Batman specifically sent all of you, except me," the redhead stated, although his tone lifted into a question.

Robin nodded. "We'll be back soon, it's just a surveillance mission."

Wally narrowed his eyes at the younger boy. "Why weren't we all briefed by Batman? Why would he brief you only on the details of the mission?"

The Boy Wonder shrugged, but even with his experience Artemis could tell from the tightness of his shoulders that Robin was keeping something from them. But then again, so was she.

Her grey eyes unintentionally met green ones across the room, and Wally's mouth tightened as he looked at her unabashedly.

To say that Wally wasn't glad to see her back was a lie, and with her hair down her shoulders as Diane Danger, it was even harder to say that he didn't miss her at all. He had caught her gaze and despite his anger last week, he found himself about to tell her to stay safe, except the steel in her eyes reminded him exactly why he was keeping his distance.

Because after all he had said last week, she must hate him. She should hate him. Out of everyone, he was the one whom she had trusted the most before, even calling him when her mother had been gone. But he had thrown it all away when he had gone off at her last week.

He didn't understand, and couldn't understand the enigma that was Artemis Crock. He knew that she had a reason to mislead them during their last mission together, but she didn't deny his accusations or rebuke any of Roy's criticism. Why didn't she tell them why? Why didn't she trust them- or him- enough? Why couldn't she?

Every one of them had their own secrets, but they didn't hide them or made it painfully obvious that whatever they kept still hurt them. With Artemis, every attempt to reach her seemed to make her recoil further into her guarded walls, and Wally had noticed something her that made his chest tighten. Artemis Crock, Wally realised, would rather hurt herself than those she cared about. And as she glared at him with cold, grey eyes, Wally knew he had hurt her, except she had said nothing to him, preferring to wallow in her own protective bubble of guilt.

Artemis Crock was the type to know when she had done something wrong, and the type that would never deny what she had done. Except, she was also the type to beat herself up for it afterwards, and Wally knew his forgiveness would have alleviated some of her guilt, but he had been angry, and asking for forgiveness now was out of the question.

Even though it hurt him to hurt her, he couldn't take back what he had said. Because what was done was done and begging for forgiveness would only gather disdain from the archer. And now, with Robin's evident discomfort with his pressing questions about the upcoming mission, Wally felt like none of his friends trusted him anymore. At least Dick had trust him enough to tell him his true identity, but excluding him from the mission seemed to be more on a personal agenda than a practical measure.

Pissed off, the speedster walked away from his departing team members and headed for Red Tornado's suite, wanting the truth.

As soon as the Team sans Wally arrived back at the Cave, the redhead was there, his right foot tapping impatiently on the solid stone floor. His sandwich was almost finished, and he took a large bite before rounding on the Team.

"I erd wad amnend," he grunted through his mouthful of chewed up bread and… stuff, and Artemis threw him a disgusted look.

The speedster swallowed before shooting them a sheepish smile. "I heard what happened," he repeated himself, before appearing before each teammate to inspect them. "Are you guys okay?"

M'gann was still suffering a mild headache from Parasite's leeching, but she nodded. "We're fine, Wally. It just felt like getting the flu. Or at least, the flu from what I've heard from humans."

If the speedster noticed Red Arrow's nicer attitude towards the three suspects, or Artemis' less gloomy attitude, he didn't say anything. Instead, he turned to his best friend with an exaggerated hurt look. "I still can't believe you left me behind. Do you know how worried I was?"

Artemis snorted. "Your sandwich seems to say otherwise."

Having not been directly spoken to by Artemis in the past week, the speedster's eyes widened but he still muttered in answer, "It's comfort food, obviously."

"Obviously," Robin grinned in answer.

Wally was still staring at the archer, wondering if he had imagined the blonde actually talking to him, but Artemis had already turned away and was walking towards the showers.

She felt the redhead's eyes on her back, but she continued forward, too tired to deal with the speedster, especially after the rocky week that she'd had. During the mission- through the three's confrontation with Red Arrow- Artemis had come to realise something. Although she had questioned why she cared if Red Arrow thought the other two were suspects, she knew it somewhere in herself the reason why. As much as she tried to convince herself that her presence would only hurt them, and that their involvement in her life would only cause her pain, Artemis knew what she wanted to do.

She knew that maybe it was time to keep her own 'mind open', and even though she didn't have to start trusting the others with her secrets, it was time to at least let the others trust her; to trust herself. Artemis Crock was not a bad person. She had been fighting with herself, doubting her own humanity when she was certain now, that the daughter of Sportsmaster and the ex- Huntress was not capable of evil acts. And she certainly wasn't capable of betraying her teammates; her friends.

That was why, maybe, just maybe, she would stay.