AN: Honestly guys I don't even have an excuse at this point I'm just really terrible at updating. Please stick with this; I promise I haven't given up on it, and I don't plan to. I hope you're all having a wonderful summer (or winter Idk where you all live). As always, translations are at the end. Please review!

Chapter Twenty-One
Of Demons and Sessions

29 years ago

Celina Daviau's wedding day was the best and worst day of her life.

She was barely an adult, about to marry the love of her life, about to seal a deal that would cost her freedom. Celina Daviau was clever, had always been clever, but even she was no match for the years of secrets that Roland dealt in.

She'd chosen Luca the day her parents had forced her to, and she would do it again in a heartbeat. She hadn't seen her parents since. Roland she'd seen on occasion, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe that meant he hadn't seen her.

From her house they'd gone to Luca's childhood home. As soon as Roland had left them they'd planned their escape; not knowing or caring why Roland had approved of their engagement, only knowing it wouldn't last. Anton knocked on Luca's bedroom door just as Celina slammed the lid on their trunk closed. He came in, not even acknowledging Celina, his eyes angry and betrayed.

"Mon frère-"

"Je t'avais dit de rompre avec elle. Je t'avais dit que c'était dangereux."

"Père a approuvé notre mariage-"

"Père a renoncé à faire quelque chose de toi. Il pense que tu es une perte de place et une honte au nom Blackwood. Ton mariage à la Sang-mêlée a un autre but. Il ne peut pas te supporter." Celina sucked in a sharp breath. Luca didn't even flinch.

"Qu'est-ce que ça a de nouveau?"

"Tu ne comprends pas. Il a renoncé à faire quelque chose de toi." It took Celina a second longer than it took Luca to understand.

"Non."

"Je suis fiancé à Noemi Lebeau. Te rends-tu compte mon frère?"

"Je ne savais pas-"

"Bien sur que tu ne savais pas. Penses-tu que je serais ici si c'était le cas? Tu ne penses pas, c'est ça le problème. Cependant, c'est maintenant trop tard. Ce n'était qu'une question de temps. Tu as passé des années à t'approprier tous ce qui traîne par ici. Il fallait bien que ça arrive un jour. Au moins un de nous deux a eu le luxe de choisir. Je n'oublierais pas," Anton said, jabbing a finger at Luca so that he'd understand the intent, "mais je te pardonnerai. Je suis venu vous prévenir."

"Nous prévenir? De quoi?" Celina asked, when Luca didn't respond. Anton flicked a bored glance at her.

"Cela," he said, gesturing at their trunk, "va échouer. Le terrain est protégée."

"Qu'est ce qu'il se passerait si on casse ces protections?" Luca asked, voice hard, knowing he wouldn't like the answer but needing to ask anyway.

"La vie de Christophe est en jeu." This time Luca did flinch, gripping the bed frame instead of Celina's hand, worrying he'd break her fingers if he tried.

"Il tuerait son propre fils pour nous garder ici?"

"Il en a trois." Luca and Anton answered, in eerie synchronisation. Celina had a harrowing feeling that this was not the first time Roland had used Christophe's life as a way to keep them in line.

Luca turned to Celina, everything and nothing in his expression and Celina understood as she let out a shaky breath.

"Nous ne partirons pas." She confirmed to Luca, an assurance and damnation.

"En fait si." Roland offered a polite smile from the doorway, barely more than the corners of his mouth turning upwards. "On déménage en Angleterre après le mariage."

"En Angleterre?" Celina asked, when Luca and Anton said nothing. Roland ignored her.

"Tu finiras ta scolarité là-bas mais notre demeure principale sera ici." Celina wondered if there'd ever been a time when this family had a home, not just a house. She doubted it. "Dix jours est un engagement assez court mais il y a beaucoup à faire. Le mariage ne peut pas attendre." Roland left without another word.

"Dix jours?" Celina whispered.

"Je n'aurais jamais du venir chez toi. C je suis si désolé-" Celina put her hands over his mouth to stop him. Anton gave a wry smile.

"Ta vie est vraiment merdique, mais il n'y a personne d'autre avec qui je voudrais vivre."

"C'est presque un vœu digne." Anton quipped. Celina flipped him off. He left the room cackling.

Fast forward ten days and Celina was walking herself down the aisle, heart-breaking even as her blood sang in her veins to close the distance between herself and Luca. Luca, she could never regret. Luca, with his easy smiles and short temper, with the way he looked at her with awe in his eyes no matter what she looked like, Luca, who had tears running down his cheeks as she walked closer to him, who was fiercely protective of his brothers, who loved deeply and freely, for Luca, she could endure.

Lydjah hadn't been without Jayna for longer than half a day since Jayna and James were kidnapped. Then she had been concussed for most of the time Jayna was gone and besides, it was too extreme circumstances to really think about it.

Lydjah wasn't… Nice. She sighed, blowing her hair off her face, and Lee arched an eyebrow at her. Lydjah felt her gaze and opened her eyes, staring at the mostly empty dormitory. Riley and Paige were out, probably getting some scoop from somewhere knowing them, and Jayna was hopefully at St Mungos. It would be a quiet night at least. Lydjah's nightmares weren't loud.

"I thought you and I were similar last year." Lydjah said eventually. Lee folded the corner of her Quidditch manual and closed it, sensing this was an actual conversation starter as opposed to an offhand comment.

"I didn't." Lee said, when the pause was too oppressing. Lydjah slanted a look at her.

"We both avoided people. I do it because I want to. I don't like people. But you hold yourself in check." Lee blinked at her, neither confirming or denying but Lydjah knew she was right. Lee's reasons were her own but the truth remained the same; Lee was a sociable person forcing herself not to socialise. "Jayna's the reason I have any more friends outside of Jayna. I follow her example. She's good with people, even when she's trying not to be. I don't know how to interact with them without her. Individually maybe, but as a group I'm lost. If Jayna and James hadn't been kidnapped… I wouldn't have even tolerated half the people in my group. I still don't know if I like them. I just don't think about it because they're never going to go away now."

"You can't let Jayna just lead your life for you. She's not going to want to do it forever." Lydjah didn't flinch, but she did tense slightly, before visibly letting it go. "That's what you're scared of isn't it? That Jayna is just going to give up on you? That you're too much of a fuck up for her to spend her time on?" Lydjah gave her a bored look. Lee shrugged, picking her book back up. "She's a bit of a fuck up too if you hadn't noticed."

"Jay-Jay is a mess." Lydjah agreed, tracing patterns into her covers. "But she's better at recovering than I am. Trust issues are an absolute bitch."

"I wouldn't know." Lee said coolly.

"Careful Lee, people might think you care." Lee snorted. "When you throw what I told you that night back in my face to try and buy some space between us, don't do it around the others. I don't want them to know." Lee inclined her head to show she'd heard, but didn't reply.

Lydjah closed her curtains and went to sleep.

Transcript from Session One
Subject: Jayna Ivonne Blackwood
Healer: H. N. Cattermole

Cattermole: Hi Jayna.

Jayna: Hello.

Cattermole: I've enchanted a quill over there to record this session for my records. No-one else can read them but me. Is this alright?

Jayna: Yes.

Cattermole: So I'm going to be direct and not waste any time. I have your case file here but that doesn't say everything. I wonder if you could talk me through it.

Jayna: Is this the point where I launch into talking about my mental state and then you point out you didn't directly ask about my mental state, you could have meant just me as a person, and psychoanalyse how I think my mental state defines me?

Jayna: Sorry I'm nervous

Cattermole: And why's that?

Jayna: I'm scared talking about it will trigger…

Cattermole: A memory?

Jayna: Yes

Cattermole: I did originally mean your 'mental state' as you put it.

Jayna: I… My family- most of my family- died in a fire last year. I really struggled, am still struggling, with the grieving process. On top of that, from then on memories have been triggered that were previously magically suppressed of my grandfather torturing me. I still have a kind of rocky relationship with my sister and I'm feeling a lot of pressure at school. That's about everything.

Cattermole: I'm sorry for your loss.

Jayna: Thank you.

Cattermole: Do you think you view one of these problems as greater than the others?

Jayna: Isolated I think I would be able to deal with each of these problems. They are all, however, entangled, and it appears I cannot solve one without facing the other three, and that is something I can't currently do without having some sort of breakdown. So no, not really.

Cattermole: How many people did you lose in the fire?

Jayna: Sixteen.

Cattermole: Sixteen?

Cattermole: Can you tell me their names?

Jayna: Their names? Why do you want their names?

Cattermole: I want to know if you can say them.

Jayna: Oh.

Cattermole: You don't have to-

Jayna: Logan, Elenore, Heather- Roland, Jozlyn, Corinne, Christophe, Matt- Matthieu, Anton, Noemi, Christian, O- Oceane

Jayna: Celina. Luca. A-

Jayna: Aleron.

Cattermole: Sorry what was that?

Jayna: Aleron.

Jayna: Devin.

Jayna: Excuse me.

Session ends

James had sent Jayna five letters since she'd been gone.

His owl had returned them all.

"James it's been a day. I'm sure she's fine." Sam said pityingly as James read through his letters by the common room fireplace for the third time that evening.

"And if she's not?" He asked quietly, an edge to his voice.

"Then she's still in the best possible hands."

"What if she's gone to one of those places where they try and shock the truth out of you?"

"Jayna is not a spy captured by enemy hands." James eyes widened in horror.

"She could be! Her uncle could have gotten hold of her- Oh my Merlin we have to get her now-"

"Petrificus Totalus!" James' limbs snapped together, frozen in place, forcing him to topple off the sofa face-first. Sam let him continue to breathe carpet while she spoke. "Do you think she wouldn't have thought of that? Think of how long Madam Longbottom's been campaigning to get her to go and get professional help. She's had plenty of time to completely scope out her options. Calm it."

She tilted him up by his shoulders just enough so she could see his face. His eyes weren't panicked anymore, merely annoyed. She lifted the charm from him and he wordlessly sat down on the sofa again. He glanced at his letters one last time before chucking them into the fire. "I'm going to find Yasmin."

"Ditching me for your girlfriend is slightly harsh."

"So is jinxing me." James pointed out. Sam tilted her head, acquiescing.

"I might go find Lee then." Sam challenged, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Fine." Sam's smile faltered when James didn't return it. She shrugged.

"Fine."

Transcript from Session Two
Subject: Jayna Ivonne Blackwood
Healer: H. N. Cattermole

Cattermole: Hi.

Jayna: Hello.

Cattermole: Did you sleep well?

Jayna: Is that meant to be funny?

Cattermole: Only if you find it amusing.

Jayna: You know I didn't sleep well. Do I look like I slept well?

Cattermole: You do look rather haggard.

Jayna: That's putting it nicely.

Cattermole: Was it memory or fiction last night?

Jayna: Fiction. For once.

Cattermole: Do you want to talk about it?

Jayna: No.

Cattermole: Then do you want to talk about how you've sent all the letters your friends have owled you straight back to their owners?

Jayna: I didn't realise I was being spied on.

Cattermole: I cannot help you if you did not give me all the pieces of the puzzle.

Jayna: So you're going to steal the pieces instead?

Cattermole: So you admit that is a piece?

Jayna: Don't put words in my mouth.

Cattermole: When you're pissed off do you always shut off?

Jayna: What kind of a question is that?

Cattermole: An honest one.

Jayna: An honest answer then. No.

Cattermole: Which would you say was the more genuine anger? When you're passionate or when you're trying to scare someone away with your anger?

Jayna: How is this relevant?

Cattermole: Maybe it's not. What do you want to get out of these sessions Jayna?

Jayna: You're full of stupid questions today.

Cattermole: You know that nothing can stop your memories from coming back now that your grandfather is dead. And that you can't risk forgetting them again without potential brain damage-

Jayna: Don't make me lose them again!

Jayna: They're important. I don't want to have secrets from myself.

Cattermole: Then what do you want?

Jayna: I want to stop being scared of them! I want to know that he's dead and nothing can let him hurt me again! I want to feel safe, I want to stop throwing up everything in terror, I want to just cry about my family and not feel guilty or- or weak! I want to be able to be with my friends and feel like I deserve to be there that I'm not broken and stupid and-

Cattermole: Would you like a tissue?

Jayna: Thank you.

Cattermole: Would you like to go and visit your family's cemetery?

Jayna: For what purpose?

Cattermole: The harsh reality of a grave is difficult to ignore.

Jayna: Don't bring any flowers.

Session ends

AN: Translations;

"I told you to break up with her. I told you it was dangerous."

"Father approved our marriage-"

"Father has given up on you. He thinks you're a waste of space and a disgrace to the Blackwood name. Your marriage to the Halfblood has some other purpose for him. But he can't stand the sight of you."

"What else is new?"

"You don't understand. He's given up on you."

"No."

"I'm engaged to Noemi Lebeau. Are you happy now brother?"

"I didn't know-"

"Of course you didn't. Do you think I'd be standing here now if you did? You didn't think; that's the problem. But it's too late now. It was only a matter of time. You've spent years taking the majority of all the s*** around here. It was going to happen eventually. At least one of us got to choose. I'm not going to forget but I'll forgive. I came to warn you."

"Warn us? Of what?"

"This is going to fail. The property is warded."

"What happens if we break the wards?"

"Christophe's life is forfeit."

"He'd kill his own son to keep us here?"

"He has three."

"We're not leaving."

"Actually you are. We're moving to England after the wedding."

"England?"

"You will complete your schooling here, but our main house will be there. Ten days is a rather short engagement, but there's a lot to be done. The wedding cannot wait."

"Ten days?"

"I should never have come to your house. C I am so sorry-"

"This life of yours is fucked up, but there's no-one else I'd rather be living it with."

"Practically vow-worthy."