Another reincarnation story
06.
The long mission turned out to be exactly what Itachi needed to escape his home and the biggest humiliation of his life.
When they returned two months later, Itachi's successful portrayal of every man's desire had made its rounds in ANBU. Within the week, nearly every ANBU agent in Konoha knew that the Uchiha heir was capable of dancing and singing good enough to bewitch even samurais. They heard the stories of Itachi's performance that had left the women stunned and the men boiling with love.
On more than one account had Saiku and Ryo come to him, asking if he could repeat the performance. The Uchiha heir only returned their request with the flare of his Sharingan. Not that he didn't appreciate their praise, but what in the world would make them think he wanted to be a girl again?
As if toddling around in a Kimono he stole from his mother wasn't bad enough. On his first try, he got tangled up in the silk and had to kawarimi himself out. After one hour of trying to put it on himself, Itachi eventually needed a clone to help him. Additional to his image in the mirror, he had seen himself with his clone's eyes. He really looked like a girl, not one bit of masculinity remaining on him.
When he came out of his hotel room with the perfect hairdo, face painted white and a blue Kimono, Ryo had claimed that he was in love. Tenzou slapped him again, reminding him who was standing before them. Even Kakashi blushed a little. Itachi hated his girlish appearance.. Kisame had never commented about him being a girl and he was only half a year older than now. Not even Hidan said anything.
Itachi only sighed at his fate and resumed the mission like the good shinobi he was. Needless to say, Itachi's performance was perfect. Not once did he slip, not once did he hesitate. He used his shifted voice, batted his eyelashes and smiled without showing teeth. In the end, even that daimyo had fallen for him.
Finding the threat was easy. The Iwa team hired to assassinate the daimyo was killed before the birthday party even began. Their client paid them a handsome reward and allowed them to return home. The whole way back to Konoha, they heard stories of one lovely maiden maiko, who disappeared mysteriously. Saiku apparently thought Itachi would want to hear about the rumors concerning his fake identity and delivered stories one more unlikely than the other. Itachi stopped listening when Saiku claimed that the daimyo wanted to marry him.
He would've hated that mission had it not allowed him to leave home for two months. When he returned, his father decided that his grounding would end on his thirteenth birthday. Never before had Itachi craved a day that much, except the day he faced Sasuke in his other life. But now, it was a good kind of craving. He realized that this time, he might have a party and receive presents. His friends might come to congratulate him and he might finally be free again.
Were it not for his...
"Betrothal?"
"Yes, Itachi," his father repeated, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "You will be thirteen tomorrow. By tradition of the Uchiha, you will reach marriageable age, which means we will find you a suitable wife."
"But father," Itachi protested. "I'm too young to be a husband."
"Nonsense," his father sounded actually amused. He waved one hand dismissively, while his mother chuckled slightly. "You are very mature for your age. And you are my son. Any girl that will be your wife should consider herself fortunate."
"But... " Itachi felt panic rising inside him. He had never thought about marriage before, let alone to a girl he didn't even know. In his other life, romance and marriage was the last thing on his mind and he wasn't sorry to escape exactly this. "Father, with all due respect, I disagree. I know nothing about girls and feel no attraction towards them. My work is too important and time consuming for me to consider courtship."
"You will make time." Fugaku commanded.
"I am an ANBU agent, I have an obligation to the Hokage. If he needs me, I can hardly refuse."
"I will have a word with Sandaime, then." The Uchiha Clan-head placed a hand on his chin and seemed to be considering something. "Itachi," he started after a moment. "You are our connection to the village. Though our relationship has improved much and the village finally started realizing our strength, there is still much to do."
"I agree."
"If the Uchiha is to resume the power that is rightfully ours, we need to show the village what we are capable of."
"That..." the genius hesitated. This sounded too much like the old Fugaku for Itachi's liking. Had he only postponed the inevitable tragedy or did he need to influence his father again with his new power? Itachi would rather not. Even though the safety of the village weighed more than anything, he still wished peace could be maintained without him resorting to his unnatural powers.
"Itachi," this time, it was Mikoto speaking. She sounded soft as usual, though Itachi still noticed the joy in her voice. "Your father and I have decided to break with tradition and allow you to marry a girl from outside of our clan."
"Yes," Fugaku nodded again. "Though I prefer our blood stayed pure, that would be a wise move."
Itachi wanted to agree on that. What could possibly bring two clans closer but a marriage? Only, Itachi absolutely did not want to get married.
"That is why we have taken precautions while you were away," Mikoto added, almost smiling. "We have let all the clans in the village know that you are considering a permanent bond."
"What?" Itachi gasped. "I'm not!"
"Silence!" Fugaku thundered. "Do not interrupt your mother."
"Yes, Father."
"For your thirteenth birthday party, we have invited the leaders of all the clans and their children." Mikoto was getting faster, clearly happy about the upcoming event. "Many mentionable personalities will be present as well. Even Hokage-sama has accepted the invitation. It is an unparallelled event for the first time in decades."
"I assume, you wish to introduce me to society."
"You are my son," Fugaku exclaimed. "I can count on you to be on your best behavior."
"That goes without saying," Itachi replied dryly. Oh, he dreaded that day now.
"You may invite your friends to come, Itachi," Mikoto said happily. "I believe Hatake Kakashi and Shisui will be the first you inform of your great news."
"And the betrothal?"
"Don't be eager, my son," Fugaku laughed, as if Itachi wanted to be married. "It will only be the first of many events. Once you are introduced, we will start negotiations with the other clans. Of course, they will have to come to propose to you. Once you accept, we can plan further."
Like I will. Itachi cursed mentally. Like he would accept anyone than the man he somehow still loved. A man from another life, who lived in another county and probably didn't know he existed. Then, a thought crossed his mind. "I doubt the news will stay in Konoha."
"Of course, it won't!" Fugaku barked out joyfully. "We expect proposal from other villages as well. Not that we will consider them. Though your mother and I agreed on letting you choose your future partner yourself, you must understand that whichever woman you choose will be the mother of your future children and the mistress of the Uchiha Clan."
Itachi choked, thinking about his future children. Even three years in this world didn't change his conviction that the Uchiha clan should stop with him and his brother. But that wouldn't be the case anymore, with approximately 150 Uchihas running around. Even if he chose to die childless and Sasuke infatuating over a certain blond, his uncles and cousins and other relatives would surely sire children. Itachi shuddered again thinking himself with a woman.
His reaction to his father's words didn't go unnoticed. His mother chuckled slightly, eyes curved with a smile.
"Don't worry, Itachi," she giggled. "We don't expect you to marry immediately. Your father and I married when we were sixteen, that is a very suitable age. And I do not intend to be a grandmother before you turn eighteen. Is that agreeable with you?"
Itachi nodded quickly. It was too good to be true. He still had three years before he needed to be married. It was enough time to think of a reason why no woman in the world would want him.
For that, Itachi needed his friends. Shisui was older and more experienced. Kakashi was the most perverted ninja in Konoha and always seemed to have some excuses. Itachi needed them. He needed them ASAP.
"Congratulations!" Kakashi slapped him on the shoulder when they met.
"Your parents didn't specify if male or female, did they?" Tenzou asked.
"I'm not in a joking mood," Itachi sighed. "But no, they didn't."
"You're never," Tenzou looked around. "When is your cousin coming? He's late."
"Really?" Kakashi closed his book with a snap. "Why am I here?"
"I told you a false time," Itachi explained, also searching the night for Shisui. How pathetic it was that he needed to gather his friend at night on a graveyard to discuss strategy for how to escape marriage. Why was he always escaping something in this world? First Shisui's constant questioning, then grounding and now marriage. He wondered when he could finally start living a normal life. Or was this normal life?
"Maybe he had issues sneaking out?" Kakashi mused.
"Shisui lives alone," Tenzou answered before Itachi could.
"How do you know that?" Itachi lifted one of his brows. He had to tilt his head to look up to the bigger man, but his glare was no less fierce.
Tenzou blushed and coughed. "I was there once." He said quickly and scratched the back of his head.
"You're not allowed into the Uchiha district."
"Well..." Tenzou stammered. "He... We... I... oh look, there he is!"
Within the blink of an eye, Shisui flickered before them, crouched down in a defensive pose. He was wearing his jonin vest, packed with weapons and scrolls. Without the faintest of a smile on his face, the Uchiha glanced up at them, Sharingan blazing with fire.
"What's the emergency?" He hissed, hand already on the handle of his tanto. "I came as quickly as I can."
"You just signaled him?" Tenzou hissed.
"You told me we meet at midnight! It's two in the morning." Kakashi complained.
"Why aren't you geared up? What's going on?"
"Nice of you to come, Shisui." Itachi replied calmly.
"Hey, I'm talking to you! When did you signal him?"
"I skipped dinner because of you!" Kakashi hissed.
"Guys," Shisui slowly moved his hand away from his weapon. "What's going on? I just received your crow. It says it's an emergency."
"It is," Itachi nodded.
"Are we being attacked?" Shisui wondered.
"No..." Tenzou yawned. "Nice to see you, Shisui-kun."
"Shisui-kun?" Kakashi giggled. "How familiar!"
"Since when are you socializing with my cousin?"
"Don't change the subject, Itachi!" Shisui hissed. "What's the emergency? Nice to see you too, Tenzou-kun."
"What the hell is going on between you?"
"Hey, Itachi-chan," Kakashi poked him. "Stop shouting!"
"Not now, Taicho!" Itachi's Sharingan flared to live. "What's going on between you?"
"Nothing!"
"Not much!"
"What?"
"Quiet!"
"Who's there?" the loud bark of the chunin on guard silenced all four shinobi.
They froze in their movements and hid in the shadow directly under the monument of fire. The lamp on the chunin's hand glowed in the distance and swung slightly. He approached quickly towards the three ANBU agents and one jonin, still searching the night for intruders.
The reflection of a kunai in his hand alerted Itachi. He felt Shisui's breath stop next to him, as Kakashi whispered. "Scatter!"
Four shinobi resorted to their favorite skill at escaping prying eyes. Shisui placed a hand in front of himself and flickered away. Itachi turned into crows and disappeared between the trees. He saw Kakashi and Tenzou jump from their occupied spot and hide behind the trunks just as the light from the chunin's lamp reached the stone steps.
The chunin scratched the back of his head and looked around. He placed a hand on the stone and then looked up at the sky. Finding nothing but emptiness, the chunin shook his head.
"Damn that Naruto!" He cursed. "Demon brat! Wait till I get you!" With that, the chunin went the way he came, his lamp still swinging.
Itachi heard Shisui chuckle somewhere in a tree not far from him and Tenzou pressing his hand on his mouth. They waited a few moments before gathering in a clearing nearby. Once Itachi set foot under the sky, Shisui sunk to his knees, giggling uncontrollably.
"Did we just run from a chunin?" He wiped the single tear from the corner of his eye.
"Itachi would've gotten into trouble," Tenzou sat down next to him, closer than two normal comrades would. "Though I don't understand why we had to hide."
"Because I said so," Kakashi joined them, sitting down in a crouch. "Tenzou, would you?"
Tenzou grinned at Shisui, eyes sparkling while he grew some wood for the campfire. The katon-jutsu coming from Itachi might have been bigger than it needed be. Something just wasn't right about the way his cousin and Tenzou acted around each other. Again, he wondered how much he had missed while being grounded. Which led him back the the problem of the day.
"I'm to be betrothed." Itachi dropped the bomb.
"Congratulations," Shisui replied, his eyes still on Tenzou and half a smile on his face. Then, his eyes widened. "Excuse me?" He snapped his head back at Itachi. "What did you say?"
"I'm to be betrothed."
"When? With whom? How?" Shisui's eyes were comically wide. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm telling you now."
Shisui looked around to Tenzou and Kakashi, both men observing his reaction without much facial expression. "Why didn't you tell me first! I'm your best friend!"
"I didn't know myself." Itachi explained. "Don't look to them, I told them just minutes before you arrived."
"Fuck..." Shisui cursed and Tenzou groaned and Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Okay, this qualifies as emergency."
"Shisui-kun," Tenzou placed a hand on Shisui's shoulder. "We're Itachi's war council now. We have to help him."
"To do what?"
"I don't want to marry." Itachi sounded suddenly like a child. "I'm thirteen."
"Oh come on now, Itachi!" Shisui grinned. "Fugaku-san wouldn't want to you marry right now. He just wants you betrothed. That's tradition."
"I don't care!" Itachi hissed. "I'm not going to court some girl I don't know."
"That's what courting is about, Itachi," Shisui chuckled. "Getting to know each other. You'd be surprised."
"What do you mean?" Itachi tilted his head.
"That you might fall for someone you never considered," Shisui blushed enough for Itachi to notice in this light. "And before you know it, he's suddenly a part of your life."
"Speaking from experience, Shisui-kun?"
Itachi watched very closely how his team-mate grinned at Shisui. His cousin blushed, making his face almost the color of his eyes. He then sheepishly returned the smile and looked away quickly.
The scene playing out in front of him seemed oddly familiar, as if Itachi had seen it somewhere. He narrowed his eyes, searching his vast memory for the origin. A tingling feeling swelled in his chest as Itachi recalled a time where he and Kisame sat at a campfire, deepened in a conversation meant only for their ears. They had gazed in each others eyes and Itachi had felt as if thousand words were exchanged. And before he knew it, it was morning and Kisame had conquered a part of his heart.
He cleared his throat slightly, causing his cousin and Tenzou to jump. Both looked away from each other and not-so-subtly slid further apart.
"I will not marry," he decided. He was deadly serious. "Not until the one comes that owns my heart."
"What?" All three said at once, though in different tones.
Kakashi gasped, because it sounded like something in his book.
Tenzou, because he was surprised Itachi was capable of romance.
Shisui, because the stoic Uchiha genius intended to fall in love.
"You're my best friends," Itachi stood up and commanded. "You will help me dodge betrothal by making me something no woman or girl would want."
He let his words sink into his friends and nodded. Placing a hand in front of his chest, Itachi shimmered away.
-xXx-
Somewhere in the forest surrounding the Konoha graveyard, one jonin and two ANBU sat around a campfire and stared into the flame.
"We're screwed!" The jonin gasped.
"Please don't speak about that, okay?" The younger ANBU hissed, hand wandering down to hide his erection.
"You know you two are plain as day, right?" the silver-haired captain stated. "Be glad Itachi is too young to know what's going on."