Another reincarnation story
08.
"Itachi!" someone was calling him. "Psst, Itachi!"
Itachi turned in his futon. He wanted to sleep.
"Itachi, wake up!" the voice was a little louder now. "Itachi! Agent!"
He jerked out of his sleep, a kunai already in hand and eyes blazing. A shadowed figure slid into his room and landed on his tatami without any sound. Itachi recognized the masked man and lowered his weapon.
"Taicho," he hissed and pulled his blanket closer to his bare chest. "What are you doing here? My father banished you again."
"A small price to pay for my life," the older man whispered back. He crouched down next to Itachi's futon and eyed it as if he wanted to slip in. "I needed to see you."
"What for?"
"I have to talk to you about what happened."
"What are you talking about?" He looked outside the window and noted the position of the moon. "It's three in the morning."
"Please," Kakashi pulled his mask down and revealed the face most people considered outrageously handsome, Itachi included.
"Why not talk to me in the morning," he wanted to go back to sleep. "I'll see you in the lounge."
"That's not possible."
"Why?"
"I talked to Hokage-sama," Kakashi whispered. "He'll promote you to captain first thing in the morning."
Now, Itachi was fully awake. The last time, it was because Danzou needed someone to do his dirty work. He had separated Itachi from Kakashi, giving the young heir freedom to act on his own. He needed Itachi isolated from those who were loyal to the Hokage. But this time, what emergency would suffice to elevate a thirteen year old to the rank of captain?
"Why?" Itachi wanted to know and slipped out of his futon.
"Your father filed another complaint against me," Kakashi explained. "It's the fourth within a year. Hokage-sama has to do something."
"And promoting me to captain was the best he could think of?" Itachi wanted to palm his forehead.
"No other captain is as good as me and you're a lot better than me."
"That's true."
"Brat!" Kakashi smirked. "And because he saw us."
At the mention of the kiss one week ago, Itachi blushed instantly. Later, when he wasn't drunk on Kakashi's presence anymore, Itachi had cursed himself for it. How could he be stupid enough to kiss Kakashi? He had reviewed his words and noticed that it could easily be mistaken. Was it why Kakashi was here tonight? To talk to him? To find out about how he really felt?
"It was just a show."
"You and I both know that it wasn't."
"We agreed on it, Taicho." Itachi persisted. "A little flirting for my parents to notice, so they slow down their plans."
"But it's not what happened." Kakashi slid closer, almost sitting on Itachi's futon. "It's not what I felt."
"It meant nothing." Itachi narrowed his eyes.
For a moment, the other genius looked hurt. His lips were pressed together and eyes set fiercely on Itachi, Kakashi whispered. "I risked my life for you."
"For that I thank you," Itachi nodded. "Would you now please get down from my futon?"
"That's all?" Kakashi smirked. "I get a thank you and please leave?"
"What did you expect?"
"I thought you'd make your gratitude clearer." Kakashi's hand moved for Itachi's groin. "I know you want it."
Itachi gasped as Kakashi' hand reached his erection. He felt the warmth spread through him as foreign lips landed on his. Kakashi was lying on top of him now, pinning him down to the ground with his weight. It felt familiar somehow and Itachi parted his thighs for the bigger man almost instinctively. When Kakashi pushed his own manhood towards Itachi, the genius let out a gasp.
Itachi jerked out of his sleep for the second time. His whole body was sweaty and his heart pounding. His ears ringed and the erection between his thighs was downright painful.
He let out a relieved sigh, letting his body fall back onto his futon. It was only a dream, Itachi thought. But how did he come to dream about Kakashi? Cursing his teenage hormones, Itachi looked out of his window. It was one hour before sunrise. Maybe, he'll have enough time to take care of the problem that was slowly, but surely, driving him crazy.
Silently and holding his breath, Itachi let his hand wander back under his bedsheet. It wasn't the first time he masturbated and certainly wouldn't be the last. But normally, he didn't have that much time to enjoy the act. He breathed out, hand closing around his aroused manhood. He felt the pressure and slowly started massaging it. Closing his eyes, Itachi recalled an event where Kisame did exactly this to him.
It was almost six years ago, Itachi remembered. In the past, his older self had just began exploring his own body. Years of self-loathing and paranoia had demanded its tribute, making Itachi finally accept the touch of pleasure when he was almost sixteen years old.
They were in a cheap hotel, Itachi still knew. The futon they rested on reeked of strangers. Frustrated, Itachi had ripped the blanket from his body and decided to sleep in his cloak instead. In that night, he had dreamed of his cousin and all his former comrades. It had forced him awake, shivering and aroused. Kisame then came to his side, laying his own cloak over Itachi's body. That's when the genius caught his partner's hand and led it to down to his body.
Kisame's touch was gentle, much more than Itachi had anticipated. His callous hands were warm and comforting. Itachi sighed into his touch, which he tried to repeat for himself now. He mimicked Kisame's moves, remembering those yellow eyes glancing down at him. He moved faster, driving himself further. He recalled Kisame's hasty moves of shedding his own clothes.
Itachi remembered Kisame laying down on him, pinning him to the cheap futon. He remembered the weight and the scent as if it was yesterday. His own grasp tightened and increased in speed. The pleasure that came from his own stimulation and memory made Itachi gasp out without a sound. He opened his mouth, thinking about Kisame's manhood on his tongue. He wanted to taste that, and feel that all the while Kisame's hand moved up and down his arousal.
Itachi came with force, biting down on his own hand. He hadn't had an orgasm this satisfying since he last slept with his blue partner. He enjoyed the bliss, still keeping his eyes shut. He dwelt in the memory of Kisame laying next to him, running a giant hand through his hair. He wanted to fall asleep in those strong arms that always held him. He wanted to be where his heart was and call that place his home.
When the bliss of orgasm left him, Itachi suddenly felt empty. He opened his eyes to see the same ceiling that was as empty as the rest of his room. In the morning light, gray and still cold, Itachi let his eyes wander through the monotone beige that was just everywhere. Though he had lived here for three years, nothing here reminded him of who he was.
He pressed his forearm against his mouth and suppressed a wince. He missed the feeling of not being alone, of having someone there day and night. He simply missed Kisame, so much his own heart hurt.
Were he not the dutiful shinobi he was, Itachi might have gotten up and packed his things. He might have traveled to Kiri in searched of the man who was supposed to be his enemy. With all the power his eyes gave him, Itachi would have revealed his deepest secret to the swordsman and made Kisame love him. He would have killed to be with Kisame again.
But he was a dutiful shinobi of Konoha. So Itachi got out of his futon, cleaned himself and changed into new shorts. He pulled on his blue shirt with the high collar and some pants. He bound the bandages around his calves and combed his hair. He picked up his ANBU vest and put it on. He slipped into his gauntlets and placed his katana on his back. In the end, Itachi bound the hitai-ate around his forehead, reminding himself that he was forever a shinobi of the leaf.
His mission was not over. Not until the seed of war between his clan and village died out and a new flower sprouted from their friendship, Itachi's mission was not over. He didn't want to think about what came after that. Many threats were out there, one more terrifying than the other.
Madara was still out there somewhere. He was still planning on taking over the world, probably still using Pain and Konan. And then, there was Orochimaru who might still come after him. Or all the other threats he had discovered throughout his years, they all deserved his attention.
Itachi made a mental note to take care of those when things quieted down with his clan.
He broke the routine he always followed when he was home. Today, he enjoyed a quiet breakfast on top of the Hokage mountain, gazing down of the village he swore to defend. When he showed up in the Ro-han lounge, he was immediately taken aside by Kakashi, who didn't look amused at all.
"You father filed another complaint against me," he repeated what Itachi had heard in his dream. Things were becoming quite confusing. "This time, he stated a good reason why you should be transferred."
"What reason aside from you being a bad influence?"
"Be fair, I only did what you wanted me to do. For that, I've been banished from the Uchiha district, again!"
"It's a small price to pay for your life," Itachi wanted to lift the mood, but failed.
"So much for gratitude."
The smaller man shuddered. This was coming too close to his dream.
"Come, we've been summoned. The council wants to see us."
"Oh," he already had a suspicion of what would happen.
It was exactly as he had predicted and dreamed. He was being promoted to captain. This time, it became the topic of the day. Koharu and Homura saw no reason why Itachi shouldn't be promoted. His skills were excellent and his loyalty highly praised. His age, well, Itachi had been ANBU for two years, making him a captain wouldn't make a big difference. Danzou didn't say much, for Itachi had left no instructions. He only stated the pros and cons, leaving the decision with the Hokage alone.
"I agree, transferring you to another team is unwise," The Hokage said. "They all have their own dynamics, adding you would cause problems with adjusting. So it is then, from now on, you'll lead your own team. Is that agreeable with you?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama." Itachi replied softly.
"And you, Kakashi?"
"Itachi will be difficult to replace," the captain reported. "But I agree on the council's decision. There's little I can teach Itachi."
"So, it is then."
They both bowed before the council and left the meeting together. When the door closed behind them, Itachi literally felt another one opening. He realized that he would miss Kakashi and maybe all the other members of his team. A team he had grown to like and rely on. In another life, he would never have allowed them to penetrate his solid surface. But now, he was openly admitting it. Even if only to himself.
"Thank you," was what Itachi chose to say. He bowed before his once captain and tried to pour his sincerity into the words that followed, hoping that it was enough to deliver its meaning. "For everything."
"Eh?" Kakashi blinked at him. "What are you talking about."
So Itachi wasn't as eloquent as he thought himself to be. "I appreciate what you taught me over the years. Taicho, I consider it an honor having fought beside you."
"Come on, Itachi. You're just being transferred. You're not going anywhere."
In a time long past, Kakashi said the same thing to him. Only back then, it wasn't true. Last time, Itachi's heart was filled with dread. Back then, nothing was worth living and fighting for. Thus the relief that Kakashi spoke the truth hit Itachi with full force, bringing a true smile onto his face.
He beamed at Kakashi, knowing that indeed, he wasn't going anywhere. He was still here in Konoha, still in the Uchiha district. He could still go home and see his cousin and brother. He could still be a normal shinobi and have a normal life. And maybe, life just held more for him than killing.
"I guess you're right," Itachi said, smiling. They walked alongside each other towards the ANBU section. Itachi blinked and smiled into himself.
"You're cute when you blush."
"What?"
"You know, now that we're not teammates anymore..." Kakashi cleared his throat. "Things are different. We can be... we wouldn't be..."
"Taicho?"
"It wouldn't be too compromising." Kakashi directed them into an abandoned hallway. "It's not uncommon."
"It was just a show." Itachi repeated what he had voiced once already in his dream.
"We both know it wasn't." Kakashi's eye was focused on him. Somehow, his one visible eye was more piercing that both together. "The things you said to me. I don't forget things like that."
"It would be unwise. Even foolish."
"Yet sometimes, we deserve to be foolish." There was no hint of humor in his voice. Kakashi wasn't joking. "Itachi, of all people, you've come closest to understanding how life for us means. You and I are both victims of our intelligence and our duties. We both have nightmares to fight and demons that haunt us. You and I, we live to make the best decisions we are capable of. But sometimes, I want to do something foolish. Something that has no purpose besides making us smile. Do you understand?"
"More than you think, Taicho." Itachi nodded. He closed his eyes for but a moment, banished another man from his mind who had delivered such a speech to him without saying a word. A glance into Kisame's golden eyes was enough for Itachi to know that a bond like this ends in nothing but failed missions and hot tears. He knew that Kakashi was serious and that they deserved each other. He knew that a portion of his heart fluttered when Kakashi was close. He knew that this new Itachi, this new self that he had come to like, should be with this renowned ANBU Captain.
They were fire and lighting. They were all the first and last line of defense for Konoha. Together, they could defeat anything who dared to threaten their home. Only if they could love each other the way they loved Konoha.
"The perfect Uchiha, lost for words?"
"You've spoken enough for both of us, Taicho."
"Just Kakashi."
Itachi sighed. Gingerly, he took one step towards the man he considered one of his closest friends. He had to stand on his toes to reach Kakashi's neck. He put both arms there and pulled Kakashi close. The response was not what he expected. Apparently, Kakashi wasn't a man of virtue. At all.
His strong arms wrapped around the heir's tiny waist. He lifted Itachi off the ground and pressed his slightly against the wall.
"It wasn't just a show," Kakashi whispered into Itachi's ear. The smile in his words was audible. "You love me."
"Put me down."
"Well, you started it."
"Put me down, now!"
"Do I get a kiss first?"
"Now!" He enforced his words with a kunai against the back of Kakashi's neck. The captain tensed and did as Itachi ordered. The curve of his one visible eye betrayed the grin under his mask.
"What was that for then?"
"I just wanted to thank you. For being my friend and nothing more."
"There's no pleasure in my life." Kakashi moaned.
"Understand that the possibility of us is not far from my mind," Itachi explained. "But I can't."
"Why not?"
"I thought I wouldn't need to explain myself to a fellow genius."
"Your age doesn't concern me. Your companionship, your affection, that's what I want. Knowing that there's someone I can come home to."
"And there lies the fault in your logic, Kakashi." He tried to mask his face, not letting Kakashi see how easy it was for him to shut someone out. "I'm not available and certainly not permanent. My situation is complicated enough without you. As is yours. Men like us don't deserve someone. Not even each other."
"Sometimes I wonder how old you really are." Kakashi shook his head. "If I don't know better, I'd say you were reading Icha Icha."
A glare from Itachi shut him up. He huffed and continued their journey without another word. Inside, Itachi's heart was pounding. He nearly let slip how mature he really was. He might appear an innocent thirteen year old, but he knew very well that his heart wasn't. His heart was a battlefield, littered with scars. He had loved and he had lost. He had tasted all the sweet nectar of life and eventually, he had burned the gifts given to him with his own eyes.
As they continued, Itachi hoped Kakashi wouldn't restart the discussion. It had cost him all his composure to refuse the man. Even if he believed himself still in love with Kisame, Kakashi was outrageously handsome and that might be something Itachi could appreciate. He knew from experience that persistence could wear down his defenses.
Luckily, Kakashi got the hint. Their next conversation was strictly about work. When they parted ways in front of the Ro-han lounge, Itachi bowed again and headed to the designated room for his new team. He gave himself a minute to compose and pushed the door open into a new era of his life.