Another reincarnation story
09.
"I am a terrible person," Itachi whispered to himself and signed soundlessly. Huddled in the trees, hidden behind leaves after which his village was named, Itachi observed the four men he called his comrades.
He took in their forms from afar and noted what he had missed when standing among them. Unlike in his other life, this team consisted of people unknown to Itachi. He had wondered when he would encounter major changes due to the ripple in time, which he had caused.
Raven, a cheerful tall man with dark hair called Naoki leaned casually against a training log, his eyes fixed on two others training in close combat. Cat, commonly known as Takeshi sat a little aside and was sorting through his supplies. He was the youngest of them all, and in Itachi's opinion had the most potential.
The two combatants were Hawk and Bear, both from renowned clans of Konoha. They were the most advanced on Itachi's team, both already Jonin of Konoha before being transferred to ANBU. That they were seasoned also made them the most difficult. As Itachi watched them fight, he was reminded of a fluid dance between two old partners. They anticipated each other's moves and dodged with ease. Within seconds, it became clear to Itachi, that they had fought each other a thousand times.
He made a mental note to separate them in training, making them step out of their comfort zone. Frowning, Itachi shifted his gaze towards his other two comrades and he sighed. They were so different than Ro-han. They were a mix of people that were thrown together by the circumstances of life. Two were rookies, two were veterans and they all followed a captain that wasn't even old enough to shave, but ranked one of the most powerful of the village.
Silently, Itachi shifted through the leaves like a shadow. It wasn't even a figure of speech. He was a shadow. If someone ever asked Itachi what his favorite activity was, and if he could ever bring himself to say the truth, he would correct "going to tea shops" to "spying on people."
It was true, Itachi generally spied on people no matter who they were. He spied on his friends and enemies alike. He didn't differentiate those he trusted from those he hated. He sent out his ravens to spy for him. He listened to every conversion he came across. And sometimes, though Itachi would never, ever admit that part, he went through their things. If he was honest, he was a little ashamed by that part. But who would judge him anyway?
He was a shinobi, he was born and trained to gather intel. And intel could be gather just anywhere. And besides, who would ever catch him?
He came to rest on a small branch overshadowing the training ground. He was glad that his form remained slim enough to hide on branches that were too fragile to support normal warriors. In a few years, that would change. He crouched down, making sure he was covered from all angles and looked down on those he should be able to trust with his life. Only he didn't. Not yet.
Below him, Hawk and Bear had stopped attacking each other with common jonin-level taijutsu. Bear formed his seals slow enough for Itachi to memorize even without his sharingan. Hawk sidestepped the line of fire that soared towards him and made a dash for his sparring partner. Itachi shook his head, noting that Hawk had left his left side completely open. His hand-seals for a suiton was interrupted by Bear's attack to his open side and was picked out of the air.
He collapsed against the training log Raven was leaning against and panted. Raven, looked down at him and applauded.
"Not bad," He laughed. "Though I'm sure our child captain could have dodged that before he was... well, a child."
"Shut up!" Hawk spat and took the air again. He landed before Bear who was distracted by Raven's taunt and barely parried Hawk's palm. "Don't ever compare me to him!" He punched Bear's defense with newfound anger and almost managed to break his stance.
Bear flipped backwards, hands forming seals yet again. Hawk dealt a quick end to his partners preparation by unleashing a simple water beam, that knocked his partner flat against a nearby tree. He followed with a flying strike in perfect form. Bear rolled out of the way just as Hawk's palm splintered the trunk. He yelled in attack, hands moving in swift kata.
Bear's relied too much on his defense, Itachi noticed. He blocked the attacks, eager to catch every one of them, instead of simply moving out of range, gaining himself much needed time to form seals. Itachi shook his head at his comrade's persistence.
When Hawk's palm connected with Bear's torso, Bear cursed and finally flipped back onto a log. "Hey, what's up with you?"
"Focus!" Hawk bellowed.
"You sound like Itachi-Taicho!" Bear gasped, avoiding Hawk's flying palms just in time as it shattered the log.
"I'm nothing like that insolent child!" Hawk snapped.
"Woah!" Bear held up his hands in both defense and defeat. "You got a problem with the captain, don't take it out on me."
"I'm not!" Hawks temper was rising higher. "I'm just trying to spar!"
"Looks to me you're trying to kill Makoto." Raven added. Even to Itachi's unskilled eyes in social interactions, he knew Raven wasn't helping. "You have some personal feud with the captain we aren't aware of?"
"Hey Isamu," Bear laid a hand on Hawk's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"He insulted my heiress! That's my problem." Hawk said in angry tone, taking off his mask to wipe the sweat from his face.
Oh yes, Itachi remembered. Hawk was Hyuuga Isamu, one of the higher members of the Hyuuga clan. Of course he would have known.
"Yours too?" Bear chuckled. "I heard he insulted all the heiresses in Konoha."
Cat, whose ears always itched when he picked up people gossiping abandoned his supplies and joined them swiftly. "Hey, are we gossiping? It that okay? What if Taicho comes back?"
Raven looked positively shocked. "Okay... That's something I'm not aware of."
"Aware of what?" Cat asked, his eyes big, switching from one man to the other. "What are you talking about? It this a clan thing? Oh, it's a clan thing, isn't it?"
"It's a clan thing." Raven nodded towards the other rookie. It seemed the rookies are grouping together. "Oi Isamu, why did Captain insult your heiress?"
"How should I know?" the Hyuuga shrugged. "We were just attending his birthday party. They said he's to be betrothed, so Hiashi-sama proposed our heiress Hinata-sama to him."
"And?" The curiosity in cat's face was more than readable. Itachi wanted to tell him to control his emotions. It was stupid to reveal himself like this.
"I don't know!" Hawk shouted. "They talked to each other and Hinata-sama came back crying. Neji-kun told me he called her ugly and stupid."
"What?!" Bear gasped.
"Why?" Cat asked.
Raven just barked out a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like the Captain." He cleared his throat, regaining his composure. He put a gentle hand on Isamu's shoulder. "Come on, don't take it too seriously."
"Yeah," Cat nodded quickly. "Itachi-Taicho is thirteen. Maybe he doesn't know how to be nice to a girl. Go easy on him. He's just a child."
"And that child is our commanding officer," Raven reminded him with a smirk.
"Yeah, well, he's a known genius, isn't he?" Cat sighed. "How can we measure up to someone like him? He probably had a lot of people training him since his birth. And with all the resources of the Uchihas, well who wouldn't be strong? And not to mention his sharingan. So powerful and so..."
Itachi had enough. He didn't want them talking about him like that. They shouldn't see him as something else, as something too far away to be reached. And he wasn't really as young as he appeared and Itachi knew very well how to be nice to girls. He just mostly chose not to.
Taking their heated voices as a clue, Itachi dropped out of the trees. He landed on a training log and made his presence known to his team by releasing bits of his carefully concealed chakra.
They all spun around comically. Itachi wanted to shake his head at how they were so easily startled. He wondered for a moment, if Ro-han was like that in the beginning.
"Taicho!" Bear gasped. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough to see that you prefer persistent blocking to taking advantage of your opponent's predictability." Itachi commented.
"So..." Hawk hesitated, seemingly trying to remember when that was. "So you've been here the entire time."
"You should have been able to notice me." Itachi said. "If I were an enemy, you would be dead."
"Yes, Taicho!" Bear said immediately. "We were... just talking."
"I'm aware." Itachi lowered his head and pushed his mask to the side. His expression softened, his tone became a hint more familiar. "I'm also aware we don't know each other very well and that I'm a lot younger than you all. Under other circumstances, I might call you senpai."
"Taicho," Cat protested.
"But," Itachi made a pause. "I am your captain, appointed by Hokage-sama himself. Thus, I must demand respect as your leader."
"Yes, Taicho!" They all said at once. All, but Hawk.
"But concerning my person," Itachi hesitated for but a moment. He had never tried to befriend anyone so openly before. Tenzou and Kakashi were just as awkward, which made their bonding somewhat easy. Itachi blinked and coughed. "I'm not a talkative person. But if your have any problem with me, bring it directly to me." He let his eyes fix on them, one after the other. They lingered with the Hyuuga, who was still avoiding his gaze. "Maybe you have something to say to me, Hawk?"
Isamu's face heated up slightly. "I..." he swallowed and openly stared at Itachi. "You insulted Hinata-sama without provocation. It's a humiliation that does not sit well with me, Taicho."
Itachi nodded. "And you wish to challenge me for her honor?"
Hawk didn't answer.
"If I accept and eventually win, can you guarantee that your personal grudge against me will not jeopardize the cohesion of this team?" Itachi asked. "If not, I have no use for you."
"Taicho, are you serious?" Bear interrupted.
"As I always am."
Hawk said nothing but drew the sword on his back. He stepped back, his white eyes burning with unseen fire. It was more than enough for Itachi. He nodded wordlessly and gestured his other comrades to stand back.
Bear but remained close to them. He grasped his partner's arm and hissed. "Don't be stupid, Isamu. You can't win against him!"
"It's not about winning!" Isamu spat. "It's about honor."
"Honor is but a concept that has no place in ANBU." Itachi replied. Now that he had the undivided attention of his team, Itachi began his lecture. "This is not an arena, and you are not Samurai. We are shinobi. We are agents of ANBU. But most of all, we are a team. Some of you are new in ANBU, like you, Hawk. Here, we forsake our identities and are nothing but the sum of our strengths. As such, we must be able to depend on each other. In combat, there is no room for personal feelings. One mistake based on ill-placed emotion can be enough to compromise the integrity of the mission. And if we fail, Konoha falls." He looked around in each pair of eyes. "You are not genin and I'm not your sensei. We are all comrades in ANBU. Here, we don't serve our clans or families. We have no names. We serve Konoha and Konoha only. We are equals under the heaven and we are brothers in arms. So, if you choose to fight me because of empty pride for something as narrow-minded as a clan, I will accept. But if you don't stop your childish bravado, I have no need for you on my team."
Itachi gracefully jumped down from the pole and came to stand right before the Hyuuga. He barely reached the other man's chin but held the stare of those white eyes without a flinch. "Are we clear?"
"Yes, Taicho." Isamu lowered his head in shame. "You're right. It was very foolish of me to bring my personal problems into the team. I don't wish to fight you and I will heed your words."
All the other team-mates let out audible sighs as Itachi nodded his respect in return. "Wise decision. So anyone else who wants a word with me?" No one said anything. "Good. Because you all need much work with your techniques."
As Itachi stepped into the middle, he heard Hawk whisper to Bear behind him. "And there he goes and ruins everything again."
"He'll grow on you," Bear murmured back.
-xXx-
Training with his team went long into the afternoon. When Itachi noticed the summon by the Hokage, the sun was already setting. He excused himself from his team and made way towards the tower as a familiar form caught up to him.
"Yo," Kakashi said in greeting, flying over the rooftops next to Itachi, just as they used to.
"You've been summoned, too?"
"Hello to you too, handsome. You look fine."
"I thought we concluded that subject," Itachi snorted back. He really didn't want to turn down Kakashi again, because this time he might not be able to.
"Now you flatter yourself," Kakashi chuckled. "Are you smiling under that mask?"
"Nonsense."
"How is it going with your team?" Kakashi said as they turned left. "They settled in yet?"
"They hate me." Itachi commented dryly. Even after today, they will need time to become a well-functioning team like Ro-han.
"Already? You've been with them, like what? Three weeks?"
"24 days." Itachi sighed. "We should be working just fine. Two of them are veterans. The other two are rookies. We should be getting along well. But we don't."
"You have no idea how obnoxious you can be." After all this time, Kakashi was probably the only person who dared to say it to his face.
"Takes one to know one." Itachi retorted. He landed on the roof of Hokage tower, Kakashi right next to him. He looked up into Kakashi's one eye behind the mask. "I humbly ask for your advice."
"Stop being annoyingly perfect."
"I am serious." Itachi shook his head.
"So am I," Kakashi shrugged.
"Flattery will not change anything." Itachi turned around, walking towards the entrance.
"Itachi," Kakashi hand landed on his shoulder before he went far. "I need to speak with you. Alone."
Itachi tensed. He dared not turn back towards Kakashi, afraid he be might fall under the spell of that breathtakingly handsome face. He had to admit, his solitude was taxing. His increasing urge of a certain kind that came naturally with his age was an ever growing concern. One that Itachi had no mind to tend to right now.
"We have an urgent summon."
"It won't take long." Kakashi sounded almost as if he was begging. That Itachi remained rooted was seemingly reason enough for Kakashi to continue. "I can't stop thinking about you. About what you said back at your birthday. You said you can't stop the way you feel. I can't either." Kakashi's grip tightened. "I miss you, Itachi."
He wanted to shout back that he missed Kakashi too but could stop himself. He was in enough trouble already. He couldn't allow his mind to be sidetracked. He needed to train his team. To care for his clan. To watch Sasuke. And keep an eye on the horizon where so many other bigger threats loomed. He just didn't have time for love.
"Say something." Kakashi begged. "If you feel the same way, tell me!"
"This is the reality, Kakashi." Itachi reminded him. "It's not like your books. I'm not one of those girls."
"You don't know those girls."
Itachi bit his tongue. He almost let slip that he knew more about those books than he should. "It doesn't matter!" He turned around sharply. "Now is not the time. And..."
"And?" Kakashi crossed his arms over his beautiful broad chest. "I'm waiting."
"So is the Hokage!" Itachi hissed. "We should go."
"Itachi..."
"Later!" he almost barked, but still smiling behind his mask because Kakashi's advances just made him so attractive. "We'll talk about it, later."
Kakashi seemed momentarily satisfied by Itachi's answer. But the tension between them remained. The whole way down to Hokage's office, Itachi could sense Kakashi's eyes on him. He knew that the other genius was closely examining his nape. Knowing was feeling it. Itachi forced down his own train of thoughts and the flush that came with it.
He was almost relieved when they entered Sandaime-sama's office. One glance was enough to tell him that every ANBU captain that was currently in Konoha received the same summon. Their faces hidden behind the mask, they stood in lines, waiting for their all supreme commander to start. Itachi aligned himself into their rolls, his sight on the Hokage hidden by the forms of his much bigger colleges.
The Hokage cleared his throat and started without much fanfare. "Welcome. I called here because we are having a joint chunin-exam with another village. And that village is the Hidden Mist."
Itachi heart suddenly pounded so hard he feared Kakashi might hear it.
"As you all know, Kirigakure's fourth Kage, Yagura was killed in a revolution a few years ago. The new Mizukage is a woman called Terumi Mei. She was also the leader of the revolution. Since then, her more humane politics has ended the days of bloodmist. As we can say, she is moving her village down the right path." Sandaime-sama took a long draw from his pipe. "The truce we have with them is now holding for three years now. As a sign of friendship between Konoha and Kiri, she has proposed a joint chunin-exam, which I accepted. It is the first time since her recent election that she visits another village. I want her to be safe and feel welcome here. But we must also not forget her village's past. So be on guard." Another draw from the pipe. "She and her students will arrive in two week's time. We must make the necessary preparations. I count on everyone's good work. Dismissed."
"Yes!" The ANBU captains replied all at once.
Itachi barely got a tone out. His throat was dry and blood was rushing in his ears. His heart was hammering against his chest. He was more than a little flustered though he had no reason to be. In his other life, Kisame had long left his village. The monster of Kirigakure had long ago joined up with the Akatsuki, after killing his own mentor. Itachi repeated it to himself, until his heart stopped beating twice as fast. Eventually, it allowed him to breathe without pain. In this moment, he was grateful they all wore masks. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to hide that flush under any circumstances.
"You alright?" Kakashi asked softly when they exited the Hokage's office.
"Fine." Itachi choked out.
He set one foot before the other and wandered numbly towards the stairs. In his head, the words "Kisame might be there!" was sounding louder than anything in the real world. He couldn't really see anymore, his mind's eye filled with images of Kisame. His imagination took him to places he had never been before. Itachi, in his other life, his real life, had never seen Kisame in anything but their black coats. But if Kisame, however slim the chance, was still with his village, Itachi might see him in his normal clothes. They might face each other in uniforms they both should have worn until the day they died had fate not ripped them from their homes.
Itachi gasped, his chest suddenly tightened. He had to support himself on the walls of the curved corridor and close his eyes, preventing tears to drop. He grasped the front of his uniform, giving his hands something to do. He fought down the sudden vertigo and the weakness in his knees.
It shouldn't hurt so much. It shouldn't feel so real. He doesn't even know if Kisame was still out there. Or even alive. He knew nothing of Kisame in this world.
"Itachi," Kakashi's hand was on his shoulder, pulling him out of his delirium. "Itachi, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," the genius lied with no success. "I'm... I'm just a little tired."
"Tired." Kakashi repeated dryly.
"Used too much chakra." Itachi shook off his dizziness. "I should rest up."
"Maybe with a tea?" Kakashi was looking down at him, his mask shifted to the side. "And some dango?"
For an instant, Itachi didn't understand what he meant. And then, he remembered his promise from earlier. So he gestured Kakashi into an empty room usually used to store scrolls. He needed to tell Kakashi how he felt. No matter how much he wished Kakashi happiness, his heart and body had made a decision for him. Itachi closed the door soundlessly behind him and shifted his own mask to the side.
"I can't, Kakashi." He said quietly, his voice even again. "I am very sorry."
"I don't get it," Kakashi shook his head. "What changed?"
"I have come to an realization." Itachi answered.
"Just now?"
"Just now."
Kakashi bit his lip. He was silent for a moment. And if Itachi read him right, he would say Kakashi was angry.
"I'm so sorry." He closed his eyes. "I had no intention to hurt you in any way. It's just..."
"There's another." Kakashi finished for him.
Itachi could do nothing but nod.
"You love him." Kakashi defined. "You've been in love with him all along, haven't you. It was never me."
Again, his own confusion, his own fickleness has hurt another. He hated himself in that moment. He hated that it was his action alone that made other people suffer. The only apology Itachi could offer in that moment, was truth.
"I'm sorry. It's always been him."
After a long pause, Kakashi sighed. "No, I am." At Itachi's frown, Kakashi explained. "I know for a fact he's not available. So, I'm sorry for you."
"What?" Itachi's eyes snap wide. "How do you know?"
"Well, I'm not blind." Kakashi shrugged. "Shisui-kun's been spending a lot of time with Tenzou. They aren't as subtle as they think. And he's your cousin. So..."
Itachi wanted to bash his head against a wall. He couldn't believe that after everything, he had to deal with Shisui being his lover again. Not that he didn't love Shisui, it was just... "It's not like that!" He hissed. "I'm not romantically interested in Shisui! He's my best friend!"
"I thought I'm your best friend!"
"Tch, my cousin then!" Itachi balled his fists. "But it's not Shisui! It's..." he bit his lip. "It's someone else. That's all you need to know!"
Kakashi chuckled. And then sighed dramatically. "Lucky bastard!" He then started scratching the back of his head and looked somewhat embarrassed. "Well then... I'll see you around."
Kakashi was already jumping out of the window as if fleeing a hot zone when Itachi was thinking of an appropriate reply. He sighed out in relief when Kakashi's shadow vanished in the distance.
How could the situation get out of his hand so quickly? When had he become a man of any romantic interest. And when had he allowed his heart to dominate his actions?
Itachi cursed under his lips and jumped out of the window, fleeing into the night forest around Konoha. He needed some time alone. Very, very alone.