The Next Life:Lumineuse - Guilt (theme 54)
A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl, written for Reku14's 100 Words challenge
This fanfic is a prize for A-Sign-of-Insanity (sonicdisney), whose story The First Step won first place in KHplatonicLove's "Freedom" contest on deviantART! ^^
Summary: Ienzo, now human again, unexpectedly faces the master he betrayed over a decade ago.
A/N: I am soooooooooooooo sorry this is so late...I am a mess. DX
Sorry to you guys who were expecting more little kid fluff, or a continuation of Rejection of Fate...this story really is technically in the NextLifeverse, even if it may not seem like it!
Dream Drop Distance doesn't make any sense, having five of the former Org members waking up all at the same time, a whole year after three of their Nobodies were destroyed. I'm not sure if I'll do this for all the other Next Life fics, but for this particular story, I changed the scenario so that they each wake up as humans soon after their Nobodies are killed, and the Nerd Herd are doing stuff during the rest of Days and KH2 without (almost?) anyone being aware of their restoration.
When Ansem & Ienzo are talking at the end of this fic, Xehanort still hasn't been defeated for good, so I'm going to assume that Xion still looks like a teenager and the Keybearers haven't turned into kids yet.
o.o.o
Ienzo had been...disconcerted, upon awakening in the old control room to find himself both human and tiny. The memories were hazy at first, but he could have sworn he was supposed to be bigger and much older than this... However, he didn't give much thought to it at first, since he was more preoccupied with the fact that he could feel again (had his emotions really been this powerful the first time around? His restored heart felt like it was killing him for a while).
After Ienzo had had a chance to rest, and the weight of his heart had started growing easier to bear, and bits and pieces of his memories began to trickle in...he grew more and more sure that something was wrong. "Aeleus?"
The man glanced at him questioningly as they picked through the master's old study together, taking inventory of the surviving books and equipment.
"How...er, how old do you think I am?"
"...Was the Organization simply a dream, or did it really happen?"
"...I'm...fairly certain that...it happened." Ienzo looked down at his own body. "But then this doesn't make sense..."
"I want to put your age at about 20 or so."
There was a long pause as they both considered the fact that Ienzo didn't look a day older than 11.
"How...how old do you feel, Aeleus?"
"87."
That actually made sense. In some ways, Ienzo felt like he'd lived several lifetimes. "...Let me rephrase the question. How old do you think you ought to be, and how old do you think you actually are?"
"I think the transition from Nobody to human altered our physical ages but left the memories of our life experiences somewhat intact. It's far more noticeable with you because you were so young when you lost your heart."
Ienzo burst into a wild little laugh at how neatly Aeleus had cut through his uncertainty and voiced the exact theory Ienzo had come to himself. "How do you test something like that, I wonder..."
"I think you have more pressing concerns at the moment."
They did, so they carried on with their work, and Ienzo tried not to give the matter undue consideration. Fruitless obsession wouldn't do anyone any good. 'I can still fight, at least, can't I...?' His Lexicon no longer seemed to have magical properties, and Ienzo's body unfortunately seemed to have lost its muscle memory, but he found that his power and knowledge of spellcasting seemed to be almost on par with his abilities as the Cloaked Schemer. 'So I can defend myself, at least. I'll have to find time to resume training, I don't like being so much weaker than my Nobody...'
Life went on, months passed, extremely interesting things happened, and Ienzo grew. A little; only as much as any other child would during the same length of time. It was annoying, since more and more of Ienzo's memories of Zexion kept returning, and it irked him to compare himself to his older, more powerful Nobody and find himself wanting. 'At least I have my heart now. That's an area where Zexion can never surpass me.' Except for the times when it would have been convenient to experience no pain or embarrassment or revulsion. 'HAVING A HEART IS BETTER THAN NOT HAVING ONE. Everyone who thinks so wins all the most important battles, which means it must be true.' Ienzo doggedly continued sifting through the specimen's waste matter for the tiny data-collection device that was supposed to have been excreted, and tried to not imagine Braig (or Xigbar) saying in response, "Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that, half-pint."
More news, more experiments, more secret missions. Ienzo got used to life after the Organization. He decided he was happy.
Then, one day, as he shouldered his way into the control room carrying a large jar of Emblems in his arms, he started calling out, "Professor, I found it, it was in the-" but did not finish his sentence. It was not Even standing before the computer, gazing at it as if it were a long-lost dream - it was Ansem. The king. The master whom Ienzo had not seen since betraying him long ago.
The jar crashed to the ground, cracking into several pieces and sending Emblems skidding across the floor, as Darkness wafted into the air and dissipated.
Ienzo automatically fell to his hands and knees, scrambling to collect the now useless Emblems. "I- Apologies, that is- I can't believe I- Let me clean up this mess..." 'What is, what's happening, what is he doing here?!' They'd learned that Ansem had apparently survived his imprisonment in the Realm of Darkness, they had anticipated a meeting, had then heard from Yen Sid that Ansem had vanished again... Ienzo had not expected to suddenly see him here, in the middle of his home and workplace. 'Well, why not? Master Ansem used to live and work here, too. I'm a fool.' A terrified fool, he realized when he observed his hands shaking.
The Emblems were now collected together. Ienzo kept trying to squash them into the biggest piece of broken glass, but there were too many and they kept sliding out of his hands, 'like intestines from a man who's had his gut slit.' He shuddered. Ansem's footsteps were approaching. "I-I should-" 'Please, Master, don't come any closer.' Shame made his cheeks feel hot; he could not bring himself to lift his eyes away from the floor. "Let me-" Clutching the glassful of Emblems, Ienzo struggled to his feet and backed away. "I, er, need to dispose of these safely, I ought-"
"Ienzo." The voice was a whisper.
Ienzo couldn't tolerate it. "Would you like some tea?" he burst out in a rush. "I'm going to go make some tea. I'll be back." He fled.
'Fool, fool, fool, fool, fool!' He dumped the Emblems and broken glass into the nearest garbage chute and then escaped to his room, where he pressed a hand tightly against the deepest cut on his arm as he paced back and forth. 'Master Ansem...he's returned...he'll- Of course he'll take over again, he's the king; we're done for, aren't we, the traitors, we who conspired against him and sent him into darkness, I wonder what he'll do with us, should I flee? Escape this city, this world... Can I hide from the inevitable?' He wasn't even sure he wanted to. He rather wanted to kneel at his master's feet and beg forgiveness, but at the same time, he couldn't bear the thought of knowingly going near him again. 'What should I do...'
He had claimed he was going to go make tea. He hadn't had any intention of actually doing so, but he felt so frazzled that it was the only non-ridiculous course of action he could think of taking. 'Don't be a coward, Ienzo. Zexion was the coward, always working from the shadows, deceiving, trying to keep his hands clean even though he did such terrible things. I'm not him. I am Ienzo. I have a heart and I am in my right mind, and my master has suffered enough at my hands. I have to face him sooner or later, and I might as well get it over with.' He stopped pacing and squeezed his eyes shut for a minute, then took a deep breath and went down to the kitchens.
The familiar routine was soothing: heating the water and teapot, spooning in the tea leaves, letting them steep... Ienzo found himself taking rather longer than necessary to clean everything up and fuss over the tea tray to make sure everything was perfectly positioned. He eventually ran out of ways to procrastinate; there was nothing left to do other than pick up the tray and take it back to the control room.
Ansem was standing right outside the kitchen, his hand raised to open the door. Ienzo practically crashed into him as he came out. Cups and teapot went cascading to the floor; both men exclaimed in alarm and danced out of reach of the ceramic shards and scalding hot liquid gushing across the carpet.
There was a long moment of silence. Ienzo realized that he was hugging the tea tray against his chest like a shield, so he told himself not to be a coward and pulled it away. A few seconds later, he realized that he now had it clasped behind his back with both hands like a prim and proper girl, so he leaned it against the wall.
"Is...is it...?" The king's hands reached out softly to touch Ienzo's face, raise his chin, brush the long bangs aside. Forced to meet his master's eyes at last, Ienzo felt hollow and light-headed, as if his heart had drifted out of reach again. "It...really is you...Ienzo...isn't it?"
Ienzo swallowed and tilted his head out of Ansem's grasp. "Yes, Your Majesty. I know that my physical age does not reflect how old I ought to be, we have a few plausible theories about that. Yes, I'm Ienzo."
There was another long pause. Ansem simply stared at the boy, looking a little lost. Ienzo was trying desperately to hold onto his composure. He finally pressed his clasped hands tightly together and added, "If you were wondering...yes, I- I do, in fact, still have my memories from...from before. When I..." Why did this have to be so hard? "I remember- I know what I did to you, and I-" He finally took a deep breath and bowed in formal apology. "I beg your forgiveness."
More silence, until Ienzo's back started to ache and he began to consider kneeling down to formally grovel. 'Would it make a difference? Does he just not know what to say, or is he simply drawing out the apprehension of the moment? Is he still trying to decide what our punishment will be?'
"Ienzo...you were the one I trusted most. I loved you like my own son. I..."
'Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.'
Ienzo was startled by the unexpectedly gentle touch on his shoulders, tugging him upright again. "Ienzo, why did you betray me?" Ansem asked, sounding desperate for a satisfactory answer, yet also as if no answer could possibly justify what his apprentices had done.
"It...had seemed like a good idea at the time." The truth, deliberately stated without any attempt at self-defense.
"What?"
Despite his best efforts, Ienzo could not continue to hold his master's gaze. "We...we wanted...you were in the way. We were so close, but you threatened to destroy all that work. I didn't...want to, but at the same time...I felt like you'd left us no choice."
The long pauses were becoming increasingly unbearable.
"So," Ansem finally said, sounding incredulous, "it's my own fault that you turned against me, disobeyed my direct orders and cast me out into darkness?"
"No," Ienzo whispered. "...Master, I'm sorry."
"...What?"
Ienzo squeezed his eyes shut, no longer caring that he was hugging himself like a child. "You were right...we should never have ventured so close to darkness...we all paid the price, and it was wrong of us to treat you as we did. I...truly regret it. I'm sorry. If there is any chance at all that you could ever forgive me, I...I ask for it. If you can give it. And if you can't, I certainly underst-"
It had been so long since he had been embraced, he'd forgotten how good it felt.
"Ienzo, my son," Ansem whispered, "I've missed you so."
Ienzo had been rigid with shock at the unexpected gesture, but now he sagged in relief and freed remorse, hugging Ansem tightly and weeping together with him. "Forgive me, Master. The darkness clouds your judgment, draws you away from the light before you realize it, none of us had any idea how badly we'd been corrupted, all the worst parts of us were at the forefront, making terrible decisions without even realizing how far we'd strayed from logic and reason and plain simple human decency..." That was when his voice broke and he couldn't continue, but it didn't seem to matter.
"I know," Ansem whispered. "I, too, lost my humanity to darkness. I'm so grateful that you found your way back, Ienzo."
"Master..."
Eventually, they got around to making a fresh pot of tea. They went out to the nearest balcony to drink it, surrounded by the warmth of the sun and the cheerful splashing of the Garden's fountains as they caught up on what they'd been working on since they'd last seen each other.
"Fascinating," Ansem murmured. "A transformation of her very matter? And you're sure she did it on a subconscious level?"
"Nothing else makes sense. But she is human now; and while Riku's replica seems to also have become human, Xion's case is more interesting since her origins were far less clear-cut. Her sense of self-identity is nothing short of amazing."
"I see...yes, I do seem to be frequently guilty of underestimating these brilliant young Keyblade wielders..."
Ienzo smiled. "We all did."
"I suppose that turned out to be fortunate."
"Yes."
o.o.o
Author's Notes: Sign won a prize, and she asked for an Ansem/apprentices fic, and I started writing it - but then I got stuck, and life happened, and I got more and more stressed out, then I finally asked her for another idea and wrote...something close to it, which is this fic. ^^; (I'm sorry, Sign; Ienzo's by far the easiest apprentice for me to write. DX) So this is her prize~! But I do intend to finish the other story eventually, it'll just probably take me a long time because I'm so stressed out and disorganized. ^^;
I like to make Ienzo an 'adorable victim' who was forced to betray Ansem against his will, but honestly, I think he probably did have a choice about it. ^^; For this story, I went with the latter route.
Taliax's RikuNami kiriban drabble is done, but I still need to type it! Medli45's RikuNami prize is outlined, and I'm working to outline HawkRider's 7,878 kiriban. Having more trouble with Mirae's giftfic, though I came up with a couple more newborn plunnies that I hope will survive.
I wish I'd thought of asking for reboots of these highest-priority fics WAY SOONER. 8'D
Complete: 5/100