Another reincarnation story

13.

It was in that night Itachi startled awake from a nightmare he remembered all too well. The room was red before his eyes, the moon casting its unforgiving light upon him. His own hands were shaking so bad he couldn't even hold onto the kunai he kept under his pillow. He tried to blink the flickering lights away that kept torturing him from behind his lids. He could still hear the pleas for mercy.

Mercy, ha! What a joke! Who ever showed any mercy to him?

Closing his eyes and reminding himself that this dream was nothing but a nightmare now, Itachi had tried to sleep again. He recounted everything that had changed in the last three years and promised himself that it was real. Or as real as anything could be for Itachi. His family, his clan, Shisui. They were all alive. The icy relationship between the Uchihas and Konoha were slowly melting. Sasuke is growing up a happy boy and even had people he called friends.

And Kisame was alive and knew him. Kisame was as safe as a shinobi could be and as happy as a man with his past could achieve. He had a pretty woman at his side, adoring him more than Itachi ever could. The teenager admitted that part only bitterly. Jealousy was a feeling he wasn't accustomed to, but he would given time.

He sighed and gave up on sleeping just as the first rays of this new day crept over the horizon. He changed and stole food from his mother's kitchen and gulped them down without tasting. When the sun lightened the streets of Konoha, Itachi sat on top of the Hokage mountain and tried very hard to keep his eyes from wandering to the building housing the honored guests from Kiri.

He failed miserably. If anyone saw him there, they might have described him as pouting or mopping, but never ever to his face. If anyone asked Itachi, he would say that he was highly concentrated, planing out the schedule for his team in the coming month and keeping extra eyes on the foreigner.

And that's how Shisui found him five long days later, munching breakfast on the Hogake Mountain during sunrise again and keeping an eye on the guest's house.

"If you glare at them any harder, you'll set that building on fire." Shisui tried with humor, but Itachi just directed his glare from Kisame, no, the Kiri-nins position to Shisui.

"I'm not in a mood for company," he replied sourly.

"Really?" his cousin sat down next to him, pulling his knees up to his chin. "I haven't noticed."

"What do you want, Shisui?" Itachi had returned to glaring at Kisame's position. He might as well give up trying to call it anything else. He was glaring, and it was because of Kisame.

"Can't I just check on my baby cousin?" The tone in Shisui's voice was cheerful, but forced. Itachi appreciated the effort but had no time for false gesture. One look towards Shisui made it clear.

"Fine," the Jo-nin sighed. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing worth mentioning." Itachi replied. How and where should he start? Even if he would every try to explain to Shisui what was hidden in his heart. No, there was no way he could ever reveal this secret. No one would believe him, not even Shisui. Besides, Itachi wasn't ready to lose Shisui's friendship as well. Telling his best friend that he had been lying and omitting the truth for more than three years would just do that.

"You're not in the mood for games, neither am I." Shisui drooped his friendly act and openly glared Itachi with exasperation. He placed a hand on the younger Uchiha's shoulder and turned them face to face. "Something happened, don't think I can't see it. My eyesight is as good as yours."

Silence stretched between them as Itachi refused to answer. He pulled his knees up to his chin and stared at the stone beneath him. He let his gaze wander over the village, reminding himself who he was. Yes, he was a shinobi of Konoha. He lived for Konoha and died for Konoha. Everything that he was, was for Konoha. And yes, of course he could deal with a broken heart.

But which Kami said he couldn't ask for a little advise.

"Shisui," Itachi started slowly. "I..." what exactly should he ask for? How should he start this conversation and end it in time so he wouldn't be late for ANBU?

Itachi cleared his throat and decided for another approach. "You are sleeping with Tenzou."

Shisui's reaction was almost comical. He startled from his position and was suddenly standing next to Itachi, glaring down at him, his facial expression a mix of anger, shock, fear and embarrassment. "What did you say?" He gasped.

"You and Tenzou," Itachi repeated, looking up at him. He placed his hand above his eyes to shield against the sun. "You're involved."

"Who told you that?" Shisui's voice was shaking. He slowly crouched down beside Itachi again. "Was it Kakashi? Sasuke? That little shit! I knew he couldn't keep a secret!"

"How is my brother involved in this?" The alarm at the mentioning of Sasuke's name wasn't lost even after three years.

"No, not what you think!" Shisui shrieked. "I didn't tell him or anything. Why would I, dammit, he isn't even ten! What kind of cousin do you think I am? I didn't tell him anything!"

"Calm down," Itachi said evenly. "This is not an interrogating. And your secret is save with me. As for what kind of cousin you are. You did confess your love for me when I was ten."

"That's different!" Shisui exclaimed. "You aren't like Sasuke at all! You had the brain of a 20 year old at least."

Itachi shuddered at how accurate Shisui was, but said nothing and allowed no reaction on his face. He just started at Shisui, waiting for the confirmation he didn't really need but really wanted, because he didn't know a better way to start a conversation about romantic relationships. The taller Uchiha only sighed dramatically and nodded.

"But this isn't about me, Itachi. Something happened, I can see. If you will not speak plain, then I will." When Shisui was serious, he was pretty terrifying. Though Itachi never had reason to fear the Shunshin no Shisui, he really didn't want to get on his cousin's bad side. Shisui could be excruciatingly annoying. But before Itachi could open his mouth, Shisui continued.

"Something is off about you since Kiri is here. Don't bother to deny it." He started counting down on his fingers. "You were nervous ever since they arrived, more so than I've ever seen you. You attacked the Monster in a meeting though you didn't need to. You yelled at me for nothing and after meeting them, you stopped talking."

"I am speaking to you, am I not?"

"Don't play coy with me, it doesn't suit you." Shisui shook his head. "I talked to Kakahsi and Tenzou. They say you're in a foul mood and sometimes annoyingly arrogant. And your mother says she barely sees you. Even Sasuke came running to me, accusing me of stealing you away from him because he hasn't seen you in three days! Should I go on?"

"What is your point?" Itachi glowered. He despised people talking about him or analyzing him. He hated being made or pinned down because of his behavior. Why couldn't they just leave him alone.

"My point is: something happened. What did that Monster say to you? What did you find out? Itachi, I know you're loyal and brave, and that you are the strongest Shinobi I know. But something is off about you. It's because of the Kiri-nin, isn't it?"

"I have to go." Itachi only answered. Shisui was too observant to be comfortable and Itachi had no intention to start a shouting match right now. He gathered the rest of his breakfast. He suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. "Thank you, Shisui. But I'm fine."

Before his cousin could reply, Itachi was already jumping off the mountain. He could hear his cousin curse behind him, calling him stubborn and stupid. He didn't matter. Shisui meant well, but he couldn't help. He couldn't change Kisame's mind and couldn't undo Itachi's deeds.

When he arrived at his ANBU HQ, all the other agents immediately stopped what they were doing and gave him a wide berth. It was either his foul mood radiating off him, or something happened. Since Itachi received no summoning and noticed no other disturbance in Konoha, it must be about him.

Was he really that intimidating? Well, Itachi didn't really care.

But he did care about his team and seeing them all pause in their morning conversation and various state of undress put Itachi to a halt. He stared at his team-mates, their faces full of anticipation and nervous energy made the genius sigh. He nodded towards them and made way to his own locker. He wanted to be nice to them, but just couldn't bring himself to do it. For the day, Itachi put them through one training after the other. He picked at his team-mates, pointing out their weaknesses without any words of comfort. He went through some formation training with them and became easily frustrated when they couldn't preform immediately.

At the end of their day, his team-mates were glaring back. Itachi could see the insults in their eyes. He lowered his gaze and left them without saying goodbye. Maybe he did leave a little too soon. But that was a kindness for them and himself because as soon as Itachi changed and closed the door behind himself, he could hear them whisper his name and then many other names. He might have picked up on the words "cold","asshole","arrogant" and "prick". Well, they weren't wrong.

Itachi didn't want to think about his reputation within ANBU right now. He might have been accepted and respected and in some rare cases even liked in the past, but he was never popular. People had always kept their distance. Now, they were outright avoiding him. Outside of ANBU, Itachi had an entire different problem. Being so confused and frustrated with everything that happened, he completely missed where he was stepping. He expected no real danger so being barraged by screaming and shrieking girls had Itachi drop into a crouch on instinct, his sharingans blaring and a kunai already in hand.

His face flushed crimson when he realized that outside the Dango Shop he found himself in, a group of girls barely younger than himself were all poking their heads in the door and openly gawking at him. Apparently his smolder was cool and his embarrassment cute. Apparently, ever since his parents announced the choice for his marriage will be his hand, every girl in Konoha believed that they had a chance. They were everywhere. Before now, Itachi didn't even know that this many girls were interested in him.

Listening to his instinct of flight or fight, Itachi bought Dango for at least three person and made his way outside. If he was ever asked which kind of obstacle he feared the most, Itachi would say "Fangirls".

They were bold and daring, Itachi had to give them that. They were blocking the exit, asking why he wouldn't remain a little for a cut of tea. Thousands of argument why people couldn't have Dango without tea deafened Itachi's ears. He replied quickly that he would rather take them home and enjoy them after evening training to which a girl prompt offered to walk with him. He declined the generous offer with politeness, though he really just want to disappear. He was already considering genjutsu and turning into crows, when a large shadow fell upon the gathering teenagers.

"What do we have here?" a very familiar and still very missed voice cut through the shrieking girls. Why must they scream at everything he does?

Itachi slowly lifted his eyes towards the newcomer, willing his blush and tremble to go away. Then Terumi Mei with her long auburn hair walked up and placed her hand with hideously painted nails on Kisame's shoulder.

"Looks like business is good here," She smiled her curve-eyed smile at him which made Itachi's inside burn. "You sure know how to pick a place, Kisame."

Itachi felt the crushing weight of injustice fell upon him. It was him who showed this place to Kisame. It was him who introduced Kisame to Dango and tea. Everything Kisame knows about Konoha was because Itachi wanted to share his best memories with him. Now, he was bringing that... that woman into their sanctum.

He didn't notice his eyes turn red. But the girls gathered around him all gasped, which called Terumi Mei's attention to him. Her smile remained and she bent forwards, placing her hand on her knees to be level with him. She even spoke to him as if he was just a child.

"Oh it's Itachi-kun, I didn't see you there." Her eyes fell upon the package in Itachi's hand and she laughed. She actually laughed at him. "I didn't know the Master of Illusion has such a sweet-tooth. How adorable."

The girls around Itachi giggled and awed.

Itachi's face was red, he was aware it. He closed his eyes, pushing his humiliation and anger down like he hadn't done in years. After just a breath, he opened them, smiling up at the source of his wrath with a smile suitable for a polite thirteen year old and bowed.

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Mizukage-sama." The sweetness in his voice was to hide the steal. And it pleased Itachi immensely to notice that Kisame tensed beside his matron. "Please, pay no attention to me. I would hate to keep you."

"Oh, you're so cute," she said, moving towards him. She placed a long nail on her lips and blinked in what most people believe a seductive fashion. "Anything you can recommend?"

"No, Mizukage-sama," Itachi said. "I am but a simple Shinobi. Who am I to know your taste."

"Nonsense," she waved dismissively and already walking towards the counter. "I trust your judgment."

She was foolish to turn her back on Itachi. He could kill her before anyone could intervene. And as if Kisame could read his thoughts, he quickly moved past the gathering crowed and placed himself between Itachi and Terumi. Though he wasn't directly looking at the Uchiha, Itachi knew who held his focus in this moment. After all this time, he could still see it in the angle of Kisame's posture, in the steps of his feet and the tension in his neck.

The realization pained him beyond description. It took his breath away, so for a moment he forgot to be angry at Kisame. For this one instant, Itachi just wanted his partner back. He looked up at the man, tears quickly gathering in his eyes. He quickly pressed both his hands over his lips to smother any sound that might escape. Itachi swallowed all his overwhelming emotions down and forced his throat to loosen.

"Number three," he whispered from under his hands. "It is my favorite. If you'll excuse me now, Mizugake-sama." He bowed quickly in poor manner and all but fled the scene.

He was running, not caring for his fangirls calling after him. They were all shouting something, but he couldn't hear it. He needed to get away and punch something. Or burn something. Or he needed to go home and hug Sasuke. Yes, he needed Sasuke, the only person whom he loved more than he loved Kisame.

When Itachi arrived at the entrance of the Uchiha district, he was just a little out of breath. He had no time to analyze the weakened state of his body and leaned against the wall, panting. That was close. He almost lost himself in the past again. He almost betrayed his own resolve. He had decided to let the past be past, but somehow his heart wasn't listening to him anymore.

He couldn't just kill his feelings like he used to. Suddenly, Shisui's smiling face appeared behind his eyelids, followed by Sasuke's, then Kakashi and Tenzou. More followed. Ro-han, Uchihas, his own team. Had he changed? Had he let so many people into his own heart he had forgot how to be cold? Had he allowed himself to be emotionally compromised to the point he was no longer the perfect shinobi anymore? What was happening to him? Why couldn't he just deal with fact like he used to, like in the world he left behind?

But wasn't that good? Shouldn't he be happy that all these people melted the ice in his heart? Shouldn't be smiling and dancing, knowing that he kept the promise to Sasuke to make everything better if he had the chance? That he did have people he cared for and he wasn't that murderer anymore? Then why does he feel like the ground was breaking beneath his feet? Why does he feel as if everything inside him was bleeding and hurting? Why does it feel like he was dying though nothing really happened?

His breath was short and shallow as Itachi crashed into his own room through the open window. He plummeted onto the Tatami and couldn't hold his tears anymore. He hadn't cried after his conversation with Kisame but he was crying now. He hadn't cried like this since that night in that other live. Itachi covered his mouth with his hand. He pressed his face into his elbow. His body cringed until he was rolled up on the floor. He pulled at his hair and clawed at his own face.

His head was empty. So was his heart. His tears pooled together on the mat and soaked in. He wished he could just lay here and die. Just like he chose to do when Sasuke came to judge him. He wish he never woke up in his world.

Why would Kami punish him so. But then, why wouldn't Kami punish him.

And then, Itachi remembered that he had dropped his Dangos in the shop and that was what his fangirls were shouting to him about. Tears came anew and all Itachi could do was to let them flow, hoping they might wash some of his misery away.

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but he regained consciousness hours later. The moon was already up on the sky and the room was cold. But Itachi wasn't. He was in someone's arms. Some gentle hand was stroking through his hair and some gentle palm was smoothing his back. His head was cradled in a strong lap and his lower body was covered by a soft cloak that smelled so familiar.

"Kisame?" Itachi whispered, a smile creeping into his face. He adjusted himself in Kisame's arms and pulled his hand down for a kiss.

"Sleep, Itachi. Rest. Everything will be better in the morning." A gentle voice whispered down at him that wasn't Kisame's.

Itachi snapped his eyes open and started at his caretaker in shock. "Shisui?"

Oh shit.

Hope you all enjoyed this.
I'm completely open to suggestions at this point. So if there's anything, write it in the review. :-D
Thank you so much.