Sniper was going to drive this van off a cliff. He swore it. He was going to tie up Scout with the spare rope he had in the back and ditch the van and let it drive full speed off and over a cliff. Then he'd be in peace and quiet after his car blew up in an (EPIC!) explosion. But then he'd be minus Scout AND his van. So he decided, multiple times, to not do it. Losing the camper wasn't worth it if he had no way back home. That and killing a team member outside of base wasn't worth the loss of his hard earned job. And it's barely even been an hour since they left Teufort.
"C'mon, man! This sucks! This ain't even music!" Scout complained about everything, from the lack of air conditioning, the bad taste in Sniper's music (which, the Sniper had, a limit to a few genres) and anything Scout's big mouth can pick up and push out words.
Sniper just growled as he continued to look straight at the road, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. They were heading out of a town for a quick pit stop, anything to get Scout to shut up. After a greasy pretzel and two hot dogs, things were quiet for about, oh… ten minutes?
"My car, my radio," Sniper replied through gritted teeth. To pass his anger out to something else, he "headshot" his bobble head on the dash. The more Scout whined and bitched, the faster and sharper Sniper flicked the bobble head.
Shortly after, Scout finally managed to keep his mouth shut once he started looking around the van. An apricot air freshener that had long since expired was hanging on the rear-view mirror, an empty ashtray on the mantle (who knew Sniper smoked?) and the bobble head that Sniper was flicking, which Sniper started to give a break from since Scout started to shut up.
"So..." Scout started, thinking about what to say. He actually didn't really know a lot of his teammates, but they know plenty about Scout, since he was always boasting about himself. "What made ya become an assassin?"
"Well, that's uh... a good question," Sniper said, a little bit surprised that somebody such as Scout asked. "Well, it's challenging work. It's out of doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry. High pay, too. I'd say my job is worth it. 'Cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead. But why did I want to become one? I guess because I have the balls to do the dirty work for somebody else that's too scared to do it. Of course my parents don't approve of it. Dad sayin' I'm a crazed gunman. I'm an assassin, there's a difference. One's a mental job and the other's sickness."
"So, some rich asshats that wanted somebody dead calls ya up all because ya throw piss?" Scout said as he raised a brow.
Sniper growled a little bit. "No. It's because it's better than workin' on the farm gettin' my family nowhere in life. At least with Mann Co. I don't have to worry about other blokes gettin' my head as revenge all because I killed a few bigwigs back in the day."
"Wait, you have other guys after ya?" Scout asked, his interest piped up.
"Who knows, mate." Sniper shrugged as he turned the van onto a highway ramp. "Might still be lookin' for me after all these years or, to them, I'm off the face of the earth."
._._._.
Back at the base, Soldier was bellowing and barking orders at his teammates. Today was a "Surprise Drill" as he screamed out earlier, but training was anything but "surprising" as a few teammates snuck out from the "drill". Spy cloaked and went on his way to see a particular lover in Boston; Medic went back into his lab to tend to his doves (and maybe some experimentations of some sorts); and Demoman passed out and took a snooze on the training grounds. The only ones that had any interest in this "Surprise Drill" were the Engineer, Pyro and Heavy. Heavy only agreed to participate, to make "Soldier shut big mouth worse than Scout's" while Pyro chased butterflies around the field and Engineer took out a remote that brought forth robotic dummies he made.
"Solly, I thought we'd have some fun and try out my new test dummies. The one's made of straw that you made is nice and all, but they don't last long against Pyro's flare guns or Sasha. That and it's a pain to sew patches into them once their "guts" spill out. We can dress them up and use them to scare away the crows in the gardens," Engineer said as the robots stood in a line, ready for their command.
"Those blasted crows, always eating our crops. Alright, ladies! After training we'll get the crows crapping their pants once we get these maggots fit and ready for battle! Never again will they think to eat our corn!" Soldier turned his fist to the sky and shook it. "DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU BASTARDS WILL LEAVE OUR AMERICAN RAISED CORN ALONE!"
Pyro showed their excitement with rapid hand clapping and making a noise that sounded like giggling and even bounced up and down in place. Engineer got Soldier and the bots, a few other Soldier robots, ready for training. Engie pressed a button and the Soldier bots roared to life. Soldier smirked and cracked his knuckles, drew his shovel and screamed, racing toward the bots, a mighty shovel over his head.
TWACK! Went the shovel against a metal head. The impact left a dent in the bot, but it didn't stop. The bot also took a turn to attack, punching Soldier straight in the gut, causing Soldier to double over, curling into a ball whilst standing. But he didn't back down; Soldier straightened up, grabbed the bot by the head and screamed:
"HUTTUH!" NECK SNAP! went the robot's head, sparks flickering from where the wires were ripped off. Soldier drop kicked the robot's head in victory, accidently hitting Demoman, who started to wake up from his drunken slumber, causing him to pass out from the impact a moment after. Pyro took Demo to see Medic as Engineer regretted letting Soldier train with the bots. Neck snapping and bolts flying everywhere. Oh, well. At least Engie can test out that new magnet to find those stray screws and bolts later.
"Heavy is next, da?" Heavy asked as he looked to Engineer.
"Yeah, you're up, Heavy. Lemme just shut down the rest of the bots and you'll be next," Engineer replied. He shut down the remaining robots, while Soldier was chomping on one of their arms like a mad dog, and let Heavy choose which bot to train against.
Heavy chose to deal with agility, as his size made him a tad slow in that department, so he let Engineer send out a Scout bot. Heavy wanted to get better at dealing with the faster foes, especially because of his size and stature, and to get "revenge" on Scout for being such a nuisance. Heavy cracked his neck and knuckles, loosening his body and getting ready to attack. Engineer pressed a button and the Scout bot beeped to life. Immediately the Scout bot dodged Heavy's punch, which landed close to the ground, and smacked Heavy upside the head, like how a typical Scout would.
"MISSED ME!" cried the bot, who ran circles around Heavy.
Heavy rubbed his head a little and growled. He cried out and continued to punch, but all he got was air as his foe. The Scout bot was quick and agile, barely skipping a beat. But a misstep caused the bot to stumble, letting Heavy get a punch in the chest for the bot, who was sent flying into a wall nearby. The robot flinched a little, tried to get up, but found himself stuck in the wall. Heavy walked over and smirked as he crossed his arms, looking down at his opponent in victory.
"Nice one, Heavy. Wanna go another round?" Engineer asked, getting ready to call out another able bot.
"Nyet. Heavy will go tend to Sasha," Heavy replied as he headed back to base. He waved to Engineer as he walked back, a look of pride on his face.
Engineer shrugged a little and cleaned up the mess (and tried to get Soldier to stop chomping on a dislodged arm before he ruined his teeth further) from the training. Carefully, he got the bots he was able to salvage into a trolley and rolled it back to his lab. A few pieces were still good, so they could be recycled to make a toaster or a microwave while those that were too damaged were melted into Scrap. The rest were left alone or replaced, as to save the bots and Engineer's time to not make more than need be.
"Mighty fine work," Engineer nodded to himself. "Might wanna adjust the fluctuator on them real quick, since some of 'em might have gotten dislodged." Engineer continued to muse to himself on the bot's conditions, whistle a tune here and there as he set to work.
After a few hours of work, Engineer removed his goggles and helmet and wiped his face with a clean rag. "I wonder how Sniper is holdin' up with Scout?" Just after he asked that, the phone rang. Engineer went to the phone and picked it up, wiping his hands with the rag. "Yello'?"
"Hey, mate."
"Hey, Sniper! Ya'll make it to the camp yet?" Engineer smiled when he realized who the voice was.
"Er… not quite. Y'see, the van's engine blew…"
"Really? How?" Engineer asked, curious as he helped Sniper put in a new engine right before they left.
"Let's just say… a few "old friends" came to visit." Sniper replied unsurely. "We took care of 'em, but we're kinda stuck in B.F.E. Luckily we made it to a town with a garage before the engine totally gave out, so Scout and I are gunna stay here for a few hours and head back on the road once she's all fixed up. Shouldn't take too long, maybe two hours or so."
Sniper leaned against the wall, phone in hand, as he looked behind him. He and Scout went to a diner that was close by, so they would wait and have a bite to eat. Scout was at their booth, stuffing his face with fresh coconut cream pie, as he flirted with their waitress, who looked around thirty or so, and didn't look too amused by Scout's advances. Sniper ignored Scout as the Waitress splashed Scout with a glass of water over a sexual remark and went back to the conversation with Engie.
"How's the rest of the guys there since we've been gone? Who won the bet so far?"
"Nobody yet. Well, Demo lost his bet of Scrumpy, so now he's sayin' Scout'll be back within a day. Medic says Scout'll come back with rabies he can treat with a new injection he's been makin' and Pyro says he'd have a lot of fun on the trip. At this point it's anyone's guess. Is Scout behavin'?"
"Scout? Behaves? 'Course not. He just got splashed by the waitress over his "moves". Now I gotta leave an extra nice tip for the inconvenience." Sniper sighed. "The sooner we get the camp the sooner I can relax."
"What about them "friends"?" Engineer asked. "They still around ya think?"
"Who knows, mate. Probably. And I wouldn't be surprised if there'd be more. But." Sniper straightened up as he crossed his free arm over his chest. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Got some MedKits and whatnot so we should be alroight. Anyways, I better go before Scout gets into more trouble."
"Alrighty then. See ya in a few days, Sniper."
"Cheers, mate. See ya later."
Sniper hung up the phone and went back to Scout, who was now dabbing his soaked shirt with some napkins from the dispenser at their table. Sniper sat down across from Scout and looked over the menu. He ignored Scout as best as he could while he looked over the lunch specials. He might just settle for a cup of coffee or three and have a bit of toast, to be honest.
"Sheesh, I tell her she's got a nice bod for a single mom and she splayshes me!" Scout grumbled as he continued to dab at his shirt and wipe his face.
"Maybe she's already got a husband." Sniper replied with s shrug.
"Yeah, I didn't see no ring on her finger." Scout sighed heavily and looked over the menu. "So, what we gunna do if those guys come back? Who were they anyways?"
"They're probably some bigwig's henchmen or somethin' to get revenge. Who knows. But what we'll do is we'll get 'em if they mess with us again. I guarantee that."