None of the Golden Trio had expected Snape, of all people to be eavesdropping on their conversations. Colin Creevey and Malfoy (if he wasn't in the infirmary) were more likely suspects. Therefore, they all violently startled.
"Pr-professor Snape sir," gasped Hermione, "Harry was only telling us what he did and all. None of us did -"
"And do you think it is wise to gossip in the open hallways? True Gryffindor stupidity warrants punishment!" Snape replied, with a piercing expression. He was laughing inside at his ability to frighten the kids.
"We're sorry, Snape, can you leave us alone now? Let's go to the Great Hall and -" Harry began.
"I let that pass during your SPANKING," Snape said loudly as Colin, Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Luna stopped in the hallway to listen, "but I will not let it pass here in the halls. Detention with your Head of House tomorrow at seven, all of you." He smirked at the gasps from students.
"Harry? What happened?" began Neville.
"You didn't –" exclaimed Colin.
"You aren't responsible for Malfoy being in the infirmary are you? He's been there before..." quipped Luna.
"You let the bat of the dungeons paddle you?" cried Dean and Thomas.
"Harry hexed Malfoy and Snape caught him and Harry agreed to being spanked instead of expelled," Ron answered when he saw how upset Harry looked. "Now leave us alone, please."
The trio raced to the Great Hall for lunch. The space normally present at the Gryffindor table was blocked by Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, and Zabini.
"You aren't getting away with nearly killing Malfoy and I don't care what Professor Snape did. You're just a filthy half-blood with your filthy mudblood and blood traitor friends. You think you're so special. You're going to duel us now, see that we've cleared the Great Hall for the purpose?" Pansy spat out.
Hermione winced at the word 'mudblood' and Ron jumped protectively in front of her. Harry yelled, "Fine, but four against three isn't fair. You want to duel me, Pansy?"
"With pleasure, Potter!" said Pansy. Harry immediately sent a harsh Stinging Hex to Pansy's neck and shoulders. Immediately thereafter, all Heads of House arrived for lunch in the Great Hall. No one saw them. They paused, agreeing to stay silent until more happened.
"Imperio!" exclaimed Pansy.
"That's unforgivable!" cried Ron.
"Toss me your wand, Potter." Pansy commanded. Harry did not.
"Imperio," Harry whispered. "Stop the curse, Parkinson."
Pansy did so. Harry immediately releasted her.
"Crucio!" cried Pansy triumphantly. She was utterly bemused that Harry could resist the Imperius... the version Crouch used on him last year was weak, after all. Hers was strong. The Heads of House jumped to intervene, still silent.
Harry had silently shielded, forgetting that the Cruciatus bypassed any shield. He was surprised when he felt no pain. He sent the Bat-Bogey Hex her way.
"Enough! Duelling is forbidden in Hogwarts! Stop, Harry!" Hermione cried.
"Indeed. End this charade immediately! You could get injured! Both of you!" McGonagall exclaimed. Both students lowered their wands. "Now, who started this?"
"He did." Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Zabini said, as Harry, Ron, and Hermione said, "She did."
"Who put up their wand first? You did, did you not, Mr. Potter?" Snape inquired.
"She challenged me to a duel, Professor," Harry replied. He felt like Snape already knew the answer. He was using Occulmency against him.
"Parkinson did challenge him, Professor. Harry sent the first hex, but it was only a stinging hex! Parkinson used the Cruciatus and Imperius!" Ron said.
Harry started. He felt like Ron had just incriminated him. Starting a duel in the fifth year and above was an offense meriting expulsion.
"We can hardly expel the Chosen One, now can we? Minerva, as his Head of House, you have permission to allow me to use severe corporal punishment upon his person for a second time," Snape replied.
"But - " began Harry.
"You have my permission, Severus. No more than twelve of the paddle or strap, or ten of the cane."
Snape firmly took Harry's arm, swiftly leading him back to the dungeons. "But Professor – Parkinson used two unforgivable curses on me!"
"You used one, Mr. Potter."
"I only wanted to get her to remove mine, and she wasn't going to! If you saw me use it you know that already! And I've already been paddled today. She attacked me over Malfoy. Please, Professor - " Harry continued anxiously.
"Get in and shut up, Mr. Potter." They had arrived at Snape's office. "Now, I am well aware that Miss Parkinson cast the Cruciatus and Imperius curses. I am sure that this is not the first time she has done so. I am also aware that you successfully resisted both curses. I have heard that you successfully resisted the Imperius last year. Barty Crouch Jr. did not use his full force, while Miss Parkinson certainly did. Despite the fact that you are clearly capable of resisting a strong Imperius curse, you cast one onto her. Surely you know that the caster must remove the curse willingly to Additionally, you used a simple shielding charm against the unblockable Cruciatus curse. It worked. You were lucky. You experienced a very strong Cruciatus under the hands of the Dark Lord in the Triwizard tournament. Why did you not jump away from Miss Parkinson's cast? Had your shield permitted the curse through, you would have experienced horrific pain again. You endangered your sanity in the hopes a strong shield would block an unblockable curse?"
Harry was silent for a bit after Snape's monologue. He had expected to be immediately paddled for his transgressions, not lectured on how to keep his life. This wasn't the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, for Merlin's sake, this was Snape's office! He admitted to himself that Snape was right. "I didn't think of jumping away, Professor – I am obviously not used to having the Cruciatus cast at me and my first instinct for hexes is to shield. I didn't think I'd become like..."
"The Aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom? Of course not. Now, there is still the fact that you drew your wand first. Remove your shoes and jeans and lean over my lap."
"Y-your lap, sir?" Harry asked, astonished.
"Yes. Miss Parkinson is a bully and I would have engaged her in a duel under the same circumstances. You shouldn't have done so, and therefore you will be receiving a firm spanking without a paddle, cane, or belt. Your boxers will also come down some so that I can monitor the effects of my ministrations."
Harry blushed, but he couldn't think of any good protest. Ron was going to have a fit when he heard that Harry actually bent over the potion master's lap! He quickly kicked off his shoes, unbuckled his belt, and allowed his jeans and belt to fall to the floor. Then, he cautiously placed himself across Snape's black robes. Snape immediately drew down Harry's boxers and rested his cool hand on Harry's sore bottom.
"Ten swats," declared Snape. He swiftly dealt five to one upper thigh and five to the other. Harry didn't cry out. "You may stand up now."
Harry stood. His face didn't even look pained. He was just confused. Why was Snape being merciful to him? Snape, who hated him?
"Mr. Potter. Normally a person would cry out from receiving such punishments as I have administered to you. Were you beaten at the Dursley's house?"
"Sir?" gasped Harry.
"Did Vernon and Petunia beat you? Did Dudley bully you?"
"I really don't want to talk about it, Professor," replied Harry, trembling. He felt Snape force his way into his mind, but he threw him out. "I said I didn't want to talk about it! Obviously I don't want to think about it! May I go?"
"My apologies. Yes, you may. Do try to stay out of trouble for at least a few days, Potter. The bruises from earlier will remain for a while. And do not, under any circumstances, cast dark curses at students. All Hogwarts students are learning, just like you are. They cannot defend quite as a trained wizard can."
"Sir?"
"Yes, Mr. Potter?"
"Why are you being suddenly calm and nice to me?"
"I believe I harshly paddled your backside, Mr. Potter. Is that being nice?"
"Yes, sir, when I consider the alternative."
"I am not a nice person, Mr. Potter. Go."
Harry left, very confused. He didn't want to tell his friends about the new development. He was perplexed himself.