~KMHKMHKMH~

"Aaw, Kyo-chan looks tired today~"

"Hm?"

Kyoya looked up from the book he had been reading, feeling like he had just swam a long way up to resurface in a pool. He had always been the kind of person to really immerse himself in a book, it always being relaxing to plunge into a world that was not his own. Now though as he lifted his gaze he found a pair of golden brown eyes blinking back at him, attentive.

"You should take a nap, Kyo-chan!"

The dark haired teen scoffed.

"I think not."

The little blonde pursed his lips.

"But you look sleepy!"

Kyoya lifted a well-manicured brow.

"Do you mean to say I'm not looking my best today?"

He knew it wasn't what Hunny had meant, but it was amusing to see the third-year scramble to explain himself. The blonde quickly waved his hands in front of him.

"No, I didn't mean that- you look fine!"

Then he grinned, giving a wink.

"I can just tell, you know?"

Just as he said it Mori approached to take his usual position at Hunny's side, eyes flicking between the two as if curious what they could be talking about. Kyoya blinked back at the pair, a little taken aback. It was moments like this that truly made him question if Hunny and Mori knew his secret. They never got too much attention in the host club but they themselves were a very attentive pair, and although Hunny usually seemed somewhat ditzy he was actually one of the sharpest people Kyoya knew. Almost nothing got past the pair, which made Kyoya slightly paranoid: could they possibly know what he was hiding?

No, it was not possible. Kyoya knew he had taken all the necessary precautions- there was no way he could have given any hint about how he truly felt. His father may think that he couldn't do anything right, but Kyoya certainly knew that he could keep a secret remarkably well.

Mori took a seat on the couch beside Kyoya and Hunny scrambled up to settle in his tall friend's lap, usa-chan clutched firmly against his chest.

"You know," Hunny continued, Kyoya setting his book aside as he realized this was going to be a full-fledged conversation, "sometimes I can't sleep when I have something crazy on my mind. Is that it? Maybe you're excited for your birthday! Or is it something else?"

Those brown eyes were watching him again, and it almost confused Kyoya. Why was he suddenly getting this attention from the host club seniors, when normally they could sometimes go an entire day without noticing each other? It almost made him uncomfortable, but at the same time he could feel a much warmer feeling stirring inside him… They had noticed he was tired, and they too had remembered his upcoming birthday. He hadn't realized before that his friends were so attentive- or maybe the word was caring…

Kyoya adjusted his glasses, peering at his senior.

"I simply was up late working on homework- something as frivolous as my birthday preventing me from sleeping would just be silly…"

For a moment Kyoya mused what the reaction would be if he actually told the truth. What if he had told the little blonde looking up at him that his father had harassed and barraged him half the night, causing him to spend the rest of his night slicing himself open out of misery and shame? The idea was absurd and here lied the problem Kyoya faced whenever he was faced with the kindness of a friend: these friends were his friend because they liked who he was, but the person he pretended to be around them was not the real him. If Hunny or Mori or any of the Hosts were to find out how worthless and empty he really was, they would want nothing to do with him.

Hunny laughed.

"Getting excited about your birthday isn't silly, silly! Well, anyway, let us know if anything is troubling you- Mori and I are expert advice-givers, you know~! We help people out all the time- we need to start a business or something! I was excited to try our powers out on you~"

The blonde flashed a smile, and Kyoya responded

"Like I said, I simply was working on homework- although the sentiment is appreciated…"

It was a bit of a slip. He really did appreciate the consideration, but there was no need to open up about it… Revealing how he truly felt would only lead to hurt- he would probably have to be extra secretive around the pair now that he had expressed that he liked their attention… Kyoya always had to remember that the only reason the Host Club was so enjoyable was because he was in control; the slits on his wrists let him control all the turmoil in his life so that for a few hours each day he could relax and be with friends and feel like he was good at something. Kyoya truly enjoyed the Host Club, running it made him feel powerful and seeing his friends made him feel cared for- but the only reason he had any of that was because of his control. Scars on his wrist were much easier to hide than a broken heart and Kyoya knew his happiness would only last as long as he kept his secret. Little slip-ups like this, he could not afford.

"No problem."

Mori closed the conversation quietly, his dark eyes catching Kyoya's own through his glasses. The gaze made Kyoya's heart skip a beat, made him question once more- could he know?

But no, it was not possible. Kyoya was in complete control of his situation- not Mori and Hunny, or his father, or anyone else. Friendship was sweet, but the only thing Kyoya knew he could always depend on was himself. Himself, and the scars beneath his sleeves.

~KHMKHMKHM~