"This is so boring," Kyouko complained. A pencil dropped from her hand, rolling away a short distance before coming to a full stop. "Yui, I'm bored."
"I figured," the other girl said to herself. Her gaze didn't move from the pages of the book she was reading; in the corner of her eye, she watched Kyouko from across the clubroom's table.
"Yui! Look at me," demanded the blonde. "Yui! Do something funny," she tried again after receiving no response for her first command.
Still focused on her book, Yui took her time to reply. "No." Ignoring the whining that followed, she flipped the page and continued reading, making sure to keep track of Kyouko's location using her peripheral vision. "I've been surprised too many times by her while I'm reading. Maybe if I pay attention, I can catch her."
It was considerably dangerous to look away from Kyouko, especially when there was nobody else in the room. With both Chinatsu and Akari on sick leave thanks to some illness that nearly a quarter of their class had caught, Yui was left to take care of the pseudo club—and her best friend.
"Geez, you're boring too." Kyouko turned her head to the side, flicking her hair over her shoulder in Yui's general direction. "You'd think that a member of the Amusement Club would be a bit more exciting!"
Ever the fast reader, Yui flipped the page again. "It was named incorrectly from the start. You don't do anything except slack off anyways, so you can't force us to screw around just for your own enjoyment."
"That's not what I said! Don't twist my words around!" Kyouko sent a glare in Yui's direction. "Now, entertain me."
Flip. "It's what you meant. Plus, you literally just confirmed it by saying that," Yui sighed. "You're breaking my concentration. I'm trying to read."
Kyouko let out a sigh that dwindled into an exasperated groan. "Aaugh!" Her demeanor went from pushy to resigned almost instantly. "It's no fun without Akari here."
"Huh." Yui looked up. "It's unlike you to mention Akari out of nowhere. What about Chinatsu?"
"Aha!" Kyouko's voice instantly rose to a triumphant shout. "I finally got your attention!"
Yui stared levelly at her for a couple seconds. Then, without words, returned her attention to her book. "Yeah, yeah. Tell me if you need something."
"Yui. I need something," Kyouko's voice was laced with sweetness as she immediately took Yui up on that offer. The dark-haired girl looked up again, not even remotely surprised, and raised an eyebrow.
"What do you want?" Yui decided to humor her friend, hiding her enjoyment with an annoyed tone. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't grateful for the company, but.. "Even I wonder how I still have the patience to deal with her needless attention seeking."
Not having prepared a request beforehand, Kyouko stopped right in her tracks. "Uhm.."
Yui fingered the next page of her book as she watched, as if she was restless to resume her reading. "So, what is it?"
"H-hold on, I'm thinking!" Assuming the generic thinking pose—a hand on her chin and the other on her elbow—she went silent for a while as she considered her options. Yui sighed and shook her head. "Knowing Kyouko, she's probably sifting through a ridiculous list of even more ridiculous requests."
Almost half a minute later, Kyouko snapped her fingers, breaking the silence that had formed. "I got it!"
"Hm." Having made minimal progress on her reading, Yui once again gave her attention to the other occupant of the room. "What? Did you come up with something?"
"Yeah! I know what I want now," Kyouko hummed in satisfaction.
Their eyes met, and Yui stared into Kyouko's eyes, noting the dormant excitement that shone within. "I've never thought about it before, but I haven't ever seen anyone with the same dull-blue eyes as her. That's pretty nice.."
Yui blinked, her train of thought coming to a halt. "Huh. That's a strange way of putting it: 'That's pretty nice'? Seriously?" She broke eye contact, then cleared her throat (and her head). "Seriously, what do you want?"
In a voice that was nearly a yell, Kyouko made her suggestion: "Let's go over to Akari's house! Then, we can bring her to Chi—"
"Nope," Yui cut her off. "Were you even paying attention in class? The teacher told us at least three times, not to go visiting our friends or else we'll catch it. As much as I want to visit them too, we can't risk catching the bug."
Kyouko grumbled, slumping onto the table. "Nngh. Who cares."
"I do. I'm not gonna get sick knowing I could've avoided it." Sighing, Yui shook her head gently, somewhat worried about her friend's lack of common sense and apparent neglect for her own health.
"Oh! Let's go over to Ayano's house then," the blonde threw out another suggestion, holding a finger up as if it was a great idea. She wasted no time in coming up with ideas, for sure, but sometimes Yui felt like shooting each one down with a well-aimed bullet of logic. "Maybe Chitose will be there! And Chizururu!"
"First of all," Yui took a deep breath. "Just because Ayano and Chitose are close friends at school, doesn't mean they're always together. And Chizururu doesn't hang out with them anyways. Plus, you'll probably be bothering th—"
"You just called her Chizururu too, Yui-nyan!" Kyouko interrupted her, eyes lit up like fireworks as she scurried around the table to wrap the girl in a warm hug.
"Gah! I, I didn't mean to, you just.. it's your fault!" Yui recoiled out of surprise at how Kyouko had practically teleported to her side, but recovered quickly and glared, trying to detach the unwanted passenger who just tightened her grip and let out a muffled giggle. "Get off!"
"Noooo, Yuiiiii!" Kyouko complained, but after another ten or fifteen seconds of struggling, she let go and returned to her seat with a mischievous grin. "Yui, you're blushing!"
"Eh? No, no I'm not," she swallowed and looked away to the side; then, she looked back at her book; then, she sent another glare in Kyouko's direction.
"Just kidding. Now you're blushing! Heh heh, do you like me or something?"
"Grr.." Wishing that intent translated to effect, Yui poured as much malice as possible into her aura. It sort of worked, but with the volatility of the girl sitting across from her, there was no way to be sure if the target had been properly scared into submission. "Anyways!"
"Go on, go on!" Her excited tone was perfect for a girl who never lacked enthusiasm. Either she was ignoring the visually transmitted death threat or she didn't notice; whatever it was, she didn't seem to mind that Yui would've gladly strangled her at that moment.
"Why haven't you suggested my apartment yet? No, not that I actually wanted you to come over!" She added the last part in a rush, having seen her childhood friend snap to attention at her word choice. "It's just that, usually you just go to my place, especially on Fridays."
"I go to your place all the time. It loses its charm, you know?"
"Really now?"
"It's great and all, but without variety there is no balance!"
"..."
"Plus, I sort of wanted to visit someone anyways."
"Ah."
Kyouko rambled on for a bit, but Yui's taciturnity and lack of enthusiastic "responses" did not go unnoticed for long. Yui rolled her eyes and ignored her friend's muttered parting shots.
In the silence that followed, Yui found it difficult to concentrate on her book even though Kyouko was, for once, giving her space. What was on her mind was something that the girl had mentioned—or rather, something she hadn't mentioned.
"She never invites anybody over to her house, does she?"
It was just a passing thought, one of those ideas that should've been gone the next moment, yet the question burned in her mind like a firebrand. Kyouko's behavior all made sense: everything added up so well it was almost suspicious. She just had to know, had to know why..
"Hey, Kyouko," Yui said slowly. "I was sort of wondering about.." Her voice trailed away as she came to the realization that she was talking to no one. "Huh? Kyouko?"
Line Break
"Really? What kind of person just forgets to wait for their friend? You're even following me home, for gods' sake, at least be polite and walk with me!"
"I already apologized! Plus, Akari's lack of presence is starting to rub off on you. It's getting tougher to remember that you're here.."
"I think that's less of a problem with me or Akari, and more of a problem with you!"
The back-and-forth banter continued for the duration of the walk to Yui's apartment, ending once they reached the front door of their destination.
Neither of them spoke while the host dug in her pocket for the key, for there weren't any words to be said. They were the only two around, so it was completely quiet with the exception of their own breathing and their footsteps as they walked through the door.
Kyouko tossed her bag against the wall of the central room like she always did. Previously, Yui made the random observation that her friend always seemed to favor that particular side of her apartment—during meals, her back would face that wall; when the table was moved to make room for futons, Kyouko would adamantly insist that it be moved to the opposite side of the room. Yui had no idea why her friend had taken such a liking to that particular part of her living quarters, but from that day on she labelled that wall as Kyouko's and acted accordingly. That included leaving the empty space.. well, empty.
While her visitor unwound in the living room, Yui first went to her kitchen to search for refreshments. A voice called out from behind her as she dug through the fridge, but she ignored it for a variety of reasons. Once she found what she wanted, she shut the door and made her way into the other room. "What?"
Kyouko sat up so that her hands were in her lap between her outstretched legs, grinning as Yui cautiously moved towards the table. "Oh, perfect timing. I was just starting to get thirsty!"
"Shut it," Yui rolled her eyes.
Placing the tray down, she took the seat on the adjacent side from Kyouko, who immediately reached for the cup and filled it with juice. Normally this action would've merited a disapproving look, but Yui's mind was elsewhere at the time.
"This is a good time to ask her about it, huh?"
She grabbed her own cup and slowly lifted it to her lips, easily glancing sideways at her friend. Right now, Kyouko was in a neutral state—there would be no spontaneous outbursts until they were triggered, by boredom or whatever else, so Yui would have to make the most of this situation.
"Kyouko," she started. "I want to ask you something."
A pair of blue eyes met hers. "What's up?"
"I'm sort of curious.. How come you never invite anybody over to your house?" Yui asked and took another sip of her drink. "It seems like you're always visiting someone else, but never at your place," she observed. Her eyebrows came together and she pursed her lips trying to remember, "Actually, have I even been to your house before? I've been in front of it, but.. I don't think I've been inside. I don't think I've met your parents, either.."
She had been deep in thought, thinking out loud, but even when she came to, Kyouko was turned half-away from her, completely quiet, lost in thought as well.
"Hmm? Kyouko?" Yui stared at the still wall of lightly colored hair, which the face of her lifelong friend was hiding behind. It flowed down past her shoulders, stopping evenly around her elbows.
"W-wha?! Oh, nothing.." Startled, she spun around with the look of someone who had been caught rifling through someone else's belongings. "Um, I thought you'd been there at least once.. haha, ah.." Her laugh wasn't her own; it lacked the over-the-top flippancy that was always present. Instead, she sounded put off.. Guilty, maybe? Or relieved..?
"There just isn't anything interesting over at my house anyways.. I mean, I don't have games or a computer or anything.. and my house isn't actually that big. Yours is like.. like.. well, I only have one room, and you have the entire apartment to yourself.." Kyouko rambled on, oblivious to the fact that Yui had already lost interest in the hastily put-together explanation.
Yui stared at Kyouko, taking notice of all her behavioral tics: the stammering, the fleetingly moving eyes, the nervous tone of voice, and the excessive amount of ellipses in her speech. It was rare enough for Kyouko to hesitate, let alone stumble this much in a single event. "What's up with her? Is this a sensitive topic?"
Whatever was causing the normally unstoppable Kyouko Toshinou to freeze up and become a stuttering mess was probably related to her personal life in some way. Yui corrected herself: it was related to her personal life, for her to act exceedingly out of character like this.
Whatever it was, she took it upon herself to find out more. As Kyouko's best friend and closest companion since their childhood, she—Yui Funami—would have to be the one to step in. Even if it meant prying into her personal matters, Yui was the detective and this was her case.
"Kyouko," she said with conviction. Apparently still trying to explain herself, Kyouko jumped to attention and shut her mouth, giving her attention to Yui. As soon as the girl's eyes landed on her, Yui's mind drew a blank; struggling to find words, she swallowed and averted her eyes the slightest bit. "Of all times.. and after such a determined monologue, too.."
"Y-yes?" Kyouko's voice was quieter than usual. Hearing the subdued response caused something to stir inside of Yui.
"Kyouko.. you can trust me," she said slowly, bidding her voice to steady itself. "I don't know what the problem is, but if you tell me, then.. It won't change the way I see you.
"You're my best friend, and we've known each other for forever. Even though you can be a handful, I wouldn't have it any other way." The words felt cliché the moment they left her mouth.
Kyouko stared at her wide-eyed, open-mouthed. There may as well have been an angelic spotlight encasing Yui, because the other girl looked about ready to kiss her—the thought of kissing her best friend stayed in her head for just a split second too long.
"Yui.. thanks!" For a second, a familiar smile returned to Kyouko's face. But then, that smile was replaced by the same distracted look that Yui decided she didn't like.
When Kyouko went silent, Yui shifted in her seat and said, "Whenever you're ready. I can wait as long as it takes." She hoped that she wasn't being too pushy, but she still needed to know exactly what was going on here.
"Okay.. I'll tell you," the blonde said. "You want to know.. why I don't want people at my house, right?"
Yui nodded.
"Okay.. okay. Alright." Her voice changed pitch with each word, and she breathed in deeply through her slightly parted lips, then she said, "I'll tell you."
Yui understood that Kyouko was mentally bracing herself, but it didn't stop her from feeling a twinge of impatience. "Come on, let's hear it.."
One of Kyouko's hands fingered a couple locks of her hair, while the other went up and tugged at the neck of her shirt. Rubbing the material between her fingers, she gulped and wet her lips. "Umm.. this actually feels sort of embarrassing to talk about.."
"You? Embarrassed?" Yui deadpanned. It was an automatic response, just her initial response to the statement, but it brought a smile to Kyouko's face.
"Heh.. thanks. I know, I'm all bent out of character right now.." She giggled, then sighed—but without her previous seriousness. "I don't know the best way to say this, but.. the only reason I don't have anybody come over is because.. well, it would just be uncomfortable.
"I don't remember if I've told you this already, but I live alone with my mom. I don't know a lot about my dad, but I do remember Mom telling me that I was a lot like him: blonde hair with blue eyes and a carefree attitude."
Seeing the question in Yui's eyes, Kyouko preemptively answered, "My dad is still alive, but he isn't around all the time. He comes by often, maybe two or three times a week, but he can't stay for more than an hour at a time."
"Is it because of his work?"
"Don't know. My mom says I shouldn't ask about it, and even when I do my dad just changes the topic. Every week he brings us some money, but it's not enough to make it seem like he was doing something illegal. I mean, about ¥50,000 a week is average pay, right?"
Kyouko tilted her head, and when she continued it was in a slow, unsure voice. "Sometimes when my dad visits, I walk in on them sitting together. Dad isn't smiling or frowning or anything.. he just sits there like he's reading a book, except he isn't reading. And Mom just looks.. sort of annoyed, but I can't tell. It's just like.. she doesn't like being near him. But when they see me, they both start smiling and talking again.. but it sounds so forced, I could probably tell even if I hadn't seen it a million times."
Yui's mind raced, recreating Kyouko's parents and the scenario she was given. A couple sitting in a room without any communication until their daughter arrived. And then, they were all fabricated smiles and insincere words, which were so obviously fake that their daughter could easily tell.
Somehow, just imagining it made her wither on the inside.
"My mom is terrible at hiding it.. she's always on her guard when my dad visits, she's always finding excuses to go to a different room, she never tries to talk with him.. It's like every time I open the door and see my dad smiling, I turn around and see my mom leaving the room. It's so disturbing, and it just makes me feel uncomfortable around both of them. It's like my mom is practically telling me not to trust him, like she has a hidden reason for avoiding him."
Hearing a note of desperation in the speaker's voice, Yui almost didn't notice herself moving just a little bit closer to the girl as Kyouko continued. "So yeah.. I have no idea what to think of my parents when they're together. And I.. I.. don't have an idea of what to say next.. there's too much I want to say but I don't where to start.. Sorry.."
"Don't apologize. Let's see.." Yui smiled quickly at her. "Tell me about your mom. You can start there."
Kyouko tensed her shoulders then relaxed them. "My mom.. To be honest, I don't really feel that close to her. She gives me a lot of freedom, but I feel like she only does it so I'm not bothering her," she said. Her throat rose as she swallowed nervously. "She signs whatever I need her to, she anywhere I want.. she never says anything. It's like she doesn't care. Do you remember that one time where I spent a week at your house?"
Yui told her that she remembered. It wasn't that long ago, about a month previously.
"Well, I didn't tell her about it. It was sort of like an experiment for me, to see how she would react."
"Really?" Yui's eyebrows went up. If she had tried to pull a stunt like that, her own parents would've snapped. "And how did she?"
"She didn't say anything when I came back," Kyouko answered. "I had sort of expected it, so it wasn't a total shock, but the reality of it still hurts a bit.."
Suddenly, Yui felt a barely repressible urge to hug the girl. She stopped herself.
"It was like she hadn't even noticed I was gone.. Sometimes, we don't talk for days. When she cooks, there's a plate of food in the fridge. When she doesn't, there's money on the counter."
To say that Yui was surprised would be an understatement. Shocked, appalled, speechless.. all those words meant the same thing, but none of them came close to describing her inner vortex of thoughts and emotions. In a quiet voice, Yui asked, "How about your dad?"
"He's much friendlier. Whenever he comes by, it already feels like I've spent more time with him than I have with my mom.. he really is just like me, you know? We have matching hair color and eye color, and we can hang out for hours.. we can talk about the randomest things, and it always feels so natural. But there's like an unwritten rule to not bring up our personal lives.. he doesn't talk about his work or his life, and I don't talk about Mom or my life. It's all.. superficial stuff. Don't get me wrong, he's great, but.. it doesn't feel real. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm actually related.. if the only thing connecting us is our appearances."
"..." Yui didn't know what to say. She didn't even know if she should say anything. All of this had just been sprung on her, like water flooding through a broken dam. She had known Kyouko for the majority of her life, but she had never known that there was such a depressing history behind the upbeat, overbearingly friendly individual.
For gods' sake, she had known Kyouko for the majority of her life, and she was just now her story?
"Oh.. I think I got a little sidetracked. I never answered your question," Kyouko realized. Her head moved up and down, nodding to herself as she opened her mouth to speak.
"No.. no," Yui stopped her. "No.. I think you've answered it enough.. Sorry for making you say all of that."
"Don't apologize." A smile reached Kyouko's face as she repeated Yui's words from earlier. It was a sad smile, Yui realized, but not a bitter smile. It was a smile that cried for itself, so that the person wearing it wouldn't have to. It was a smile that was the last thing keeping the wearer from breaking down. It was the smile that only some people had—people who carry the weight of their world on their shoulders, who can only drop that burden when they were around their friends.
Suddenly, Yui felt unstoppably compelled to hug the girl. So, that's what she did.
"It's better to let everything out, right?" Apparently not surprised at all, Kyouko just wrapped her arms around the girl who was holding her tightly. Yui could practically feel the smile on her face. "Don't bottle it up inside of you, that's what you aren't supposed to do.
"Mhm.. that's right." Yui's voice was muffled by the folds of Kyouko's clothes. "Kyouko.."
"Yeah, Yui?"
"I'll protect you. I won't ever leave you."
Kyouko just laughed. Not in a mocking way, not in a bitter way. She laughed like she was happy, sitting here with the only person who had known her forever without actually knowing her.
"Heheh.. We're both out of character today, aren't we?" Kyouko said. Yui nodded, tightening her grip on the girl's small shoulders. ".. Thanks, Yui. I appreciate it."
"Y-yeah.. don't mention it."
Yui didn't say it out loud, but it rang out crystal clear in her mind:
"Kyouko.. I'll be with you forever. I want to be by your side, so that nothing will ever happen to you again.
"That's okay.. right?"