Friday was the only day of the week where Kyouko didn't follow Yui home from school. It was a brief, but much needed moment of respite. While Yui appreciated the company, sometimes it seemed like there was no time left for herself after she finished dealing with Kyouko. The girl was naturally a friendly and unconquerable soul, but those two aspects of her personality were so high over the top, she was able to annoy anyone out of their skin. Yui somehow managed to keep her sanity in check and be close friends with Kyouko at the same time, but that didn't lessen the importance of having leisure time to think and be alone.
They say that if you treat a stray cat or dog with love and care, then it's not uncommon that you'll find them reappearing on your door step night after night. Yui's "stray" was no exception from this rule. She had been counting the consecutive days that she had opened her door to let Kyouko into her apartment: twenty four. It was quite a long streak, and she had an idea of why the bubbly blonde girl had taken to daily visits. Kyouko herself had told her, not even a week ago, about the relationship between mother and father Toshinou. Obviously, things weren't getting any better in the girl's household, so it was only natural she would seek shelter with her best friend.
Yui breathed in and held it for a couple seconds before letting it out. She honed in on two things—her breathing and her footsteps—and tuned everything else out. This was a meditation process she used regularly, and she considered it a necessity in her daily routine. "By focusing one's mind and body, they can strengthen their resolve and concentration, heightening their performance level or attuning themselves to their thoughts," was her mantra. Even if meditation didn't actually help, the placebo effect that it did would still help raise confidence. At the moment, she didn't need to prepare for a performance or feel confident for a presentation. Right now, she needed to clear her mind of everything but the topic at hand. Currently, she was struggling with something psychological rather than physical. Something directly related to her best, childhood friend.
A strong sense of friendship. That was the crux of the matter; as of late, Yui had been finding it tough to discern the line between friendship and.. something beyond that. This blurriness was extremely alarming; she was sure it was wrong to have such thoughts about her best friend. Surely, Kyouko didn't see her in that way. Didn't that mean Yui had no right to imagine the two of them in a romantic relationship?
These sort of unrequited feelings were dangerous—enough so that they could drive a rift in their relationship. It was already becoming uncomfortable to be near Kyouko. Yui didn't want these feelings to come between them, but this was something she couldn't control. Another thing she was worried about was the chance that she was just going through a phase. If these pseudo-romantic feelings were only temporary, then she wouldn't have to be concerned about them since they would eventually disappear. However, she wasn't sure how long she could keep them in check. After all, Kyouko was a self-proclaimed expert on, and she quoted, "identifying love and romance in the most unlikely of places". In the case that those blue eyes were indeed able to spot her feelings, then..
A heavy sigh left her lips, followed by a frustrated growl. She couldn't tell if she was being cautious or just plain indecisive. The one thing she knew for sure was that she had taboo feelings for her best friend—Kyouko Toshinou, of all people, and a girl at that! Did that not make the answer obvious, that she should just keep them to herself? Yui set a brisk pace for herself, the normality with what she walked hiding her inner conflict. When she was approaching the entrance of her apartment complex, she put a smile on her face for the landlord, who was just heading out.
"Oh, Yui-chan. Kyouko-chan isn't here with you, today?" Her relative smiled at her. It was more of a statement than a question, but Yui answered with a shake of her head to be polite.
"No, she went home for a while. I don't doubt that she'll come by to visit, though. You know how she is," she said. After that, she wrapped up the conversation with a hasty excuse and slipped past to get to the door. Again, she sighed, but this time in relief as she headed down the familiar dimly lit hallway toward her apartment. Her hand was already in her pocket searching for the key when she stopped in front of the door labeled 301 – Funami. She unlocked the door, and it opened with a small creak then closed with the same sound.
Now that she was inside the safety of her apartment, the stress drained from her shoulders. Yui filled her chest with air, then leaned against the closed door and her head against the wood, exhaling and letting relief fill the gap in her lungs. That marked her third sigh today—or at least, the third since she had left the club room. She hoped it wasn't going to become a habit. She shut her eyes, but opened them a moment later. It would be best to settle in before she started to get too relaxed. Dropping her bag down in its usual spot, she grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. It took her a few minutes to get dressed, after which she walked out into the living room with the intention to get a drink from the fridge. However, that thought disappeared and was replaced by confusion as she caught sight of the table in her living room.
As if set for two, a pair of plates and spoons were laid out on the table. In the center was a large white box with a simple logo printed on the top—"185°F Bakery"—of a business she had never even heard of before. Yui was positive that the table had been clear before she left the room. Her eyes darted about, scanning for a hint as to how the food had gotten there. Was someone in the apartment with her? That had to be the case. Yet, there were only two ways for a person to get inside; one was in her pocket, and the other was still in tact. That ruled out both a pickpocket and a housebreaker.
"You should see the look on your face!" Someone's voice, obviously belonging to the culprit, laughed. The familiarity of the voice confirmed Yui's earlier suspicions.
"How did you get inside my house, Kyouko?" She turned around and glared at Kyouko, who had a huge grin on her face.
"I'm actually sort of proud of this. Here, look!" Before Yui could process the warning, Kyouko's hand moved and tossed a small object at her. She reached out in the direction of the projectile, catching it by sheer luck and her slightly above-average reflexes.
".. Is this my house key?" She asked, eying the thing she held in her palm. "How did you get a copy of it?" Although Kyouko had broken into her house, Yui took a moment to admire the wax key and the fact that it apparently worked as intended.
"I found a book about locksmithing online, so I picked the lock and then duplicated the key using an impression and silicone!" Arms crossed and chest puffed out, Kyouko said the words with no small amount of pride. As if she had just remembered, her eyes went toward the forged item and her fingers followed suit, but Yui pulled her hand away and slipped it into her pocket.
"Just because I'm sort of impressed, I won't ask how you managed to get my house key and make a copy without my knowing," she said. Ignoring the dismayed pout on her friend's face, she waved at the table, at the white box and plates. "So, what's all this?"
"I brought cake," answered Kyouko. Yui shot her a look, and the blonde girl took a step back with her hands held up. "It's just cake, I swear it! I left the poison out this time, just for you." Kyouko sat down at the table and opened the box. While she was cutting the cake Yui sat down across from her and waited, somewhat annoyed but used to letting her friend direct the flow of conversation. She slid her plate across the table and it was returned to her with two small servings of dessert.
"Where did you get this from?" She asked, carving herself a bite of cake. Kyouko stopped and looked at her, spoon halfway to her open mouth.
"My dad bought it," she said. "He just got back from overseas, and he says he bought this for me. Since Mom was taking a nap, he told me to share it with my friends."
"Ah.." Yui bit the inside of her lip. That was a not-so-subtle hint at the current tension in the Toshinou household. "Why didn't you bring it to the club room? I'm sure Akari and Chinatsu would love to have some."
"Well.. It isn't that I don't like them," Kyouko paused. "But I feel like I'm always depending on you. I wanted to give you something in return, just because. Plus, these are tiny, so there wouldn't be a lot to share."
"I.. I see."
Yui continued to eat quietly, and so did Kyouko, to her surprise. She glanced at her visitor, but Kyouko was looking out the window. Her own eyes followed the girl's line of sight—nothing. "She's probably thinking about her family.. Is there anything I can do to help?"
A moment of silence turned into a minute of silence, then several. Yui began to feel more and more restless. Seeing the normally boisterous Kyouko Toshinou so quiet and withdrawn made her feel like she was treading on sacred ground, yet at the same time her heart was starting to beat faster and blood was rushing to her head. Nobody save for Kyouko herself was around; they were sitting together at the table, eating sweets over a pensive mood. It was the perfect time to say how she felt, but she felt like she would be taking advantage, or at the very least brushing aside the pressing issues that were clearly on Kyouko's mind. To break the silence and make sure her voice was functioning properly, she cleared her throat and made a pointless comment, to which Kyouko reciprocated with more enthusiasm than she had. This went on for a while, the pattern of Yui saying something and Kyouko saying twice as much, until she felt that she was fully "warmed up". Then, during a pause in the conversation, she spoke the words that had been on the tip of her tongue for the last couple of minutes.
"Kyouko, I have to tell you something," she started. Regret immediately flooded her senses. What if she was making a dangerous mistake?
"What's up?" A pair of eyes turned to her. The calm aura about Kyouko was offset by the shine and spark of mischief in her blue eyes. Yui suddenly imagined those same eyes staring at her not with friendliness, but disgust and a hint of betrayal. "Are you going to confess your love to me?" Kyouko leaned forwards across the table and fixed Yui with a lopsided grin. She was joking, of course, but Yui had recently started to look past her friend's vivacity. The question was absurd and Kyouko had an almost-sleazy look, yet she knew that the girl would never expect to have been correct.
"Well.." She was suddenly uncomfortable under her companion's gaze, her voice faltering and her eyes averting as she struggled for words. It seemed like everything only added to a sinking sensation of foreboding, like she was a trespasser in Kyouko's space, and being caught would permanently brand her a traitor.
"Huh? What's wrong, Yui? Are you okay?" Kyouko's voice changed just like that—from flippancy to concern. "I'm sorry if I made that awkward. I was only joking, but you probably know that.." Guilt started to show through the seams of Kyouko's words. Yui mentally cursed herself, knowing she was the cause. Although the enthusiast's sense of modesty was far from admirable, she could be thoughtful and considerate at times; the me-first attitude was only a facade, to keep the people around her with smiles on their faces.
"Yes.. yeah, I am," she nodded. Inadvertently, she had answered both of Kyouko's questions at the same time, although the other girl had no way of knowing that. On a whim, she decided to kick off of this opportunity. "I am going to confess my love for you," she stated.
".. Uh.." Kyouko's mouth hung open as the words sunk in. "Seriously?"
"Seriously," Yui repeated. Panic fought against calm to be the adjective to describe how she felt inside. Kyouko had a great personality, a pretty face, and talents in the most random of places. She could read the mood and act accordingly, so there was no reason for Yui to worry. Still, part of her fathomed the chance of Kyouko overreacting, misunderstanding, or just plain out severing their friendship right then and there.
Ice-cold fear shot through her body as Kyouko slowly stood up, then turned in the direction of the door. "Wait! Don't leave!" Desperation controlled her voice as she reached out in a hopeless attempt to stop her best friend from leaving.
"No, Yui, you don't know.." Her voice was low, hollow, like she was afraid. "I can't, I.. I have to go," she muttered, getting farther away with each step. She walked past her bags, not even bothering to grab them as she headed for the exit.
"Kyouko, wait! I can explain!" Yui said, attempting to stand up but only managing to get up on both knees before stumbling over herself. "Please, just wait! There's more to it, it's just—" Her own voice cut her off, not allowing her to say anymore. She tried again, but all that came of it was a pitiful sound and a coughing fit. She fell forwards and threw out both hands to catch herself, and that's when she realized tears were obscuring her vision and falling to the floor. "Why is this happening to me? What's wrong with me?" Yui wished she had never confessed her "love" in the first place. It was probably all wrong, anyways—just part of a phase, feelings that would suddenly disappear one day. Things would have went back to normal, but now she had dropped the glass and it was shattered into a thousand sparkling, see-through pieces that were symmetrical but not the same.
Kyouko stopped at the door, listening to her friend. She stopped and listened to the sniffling, the crying. She listened to Yui cry, a strong person reduced to someone weak, someone who needed help.
"It's my fault.."
She had reached the door. Her hand was on the knob. She could leave right now, or she could stay. Her fingers, wrapped around the handle, loosened and fell to her side. She turned around, then walked back toward the table where her best friend—her first friend—lay, broken in spirit. Her heart wouldn't let her leave, not until she had fixed the wrongs she had done. She wouldn't leave, because if she did then the fragments of their bond would sink into the sand. If that happened, she could dig for the rest of her life and never find a single piece.