This is a Naruto Fan Fiction only.

Sadly after two weeks I just ran out of bandits. Honestly with these many people coming to see the Exams, I was expecting that bandits would drawn to the village like flies to a manure. In just two lousy weeks I killed every bandit group in a fifty mile radius.

'Kakashi is off training Sayomi, Sakura is off training with a closet pervert, and I ran out of bandits. Just what am I supposed to do for the next two weeks? Sit on my thumb and wait?'

Mom had a better idea on how to spend the time, 'Or you could take a bath, after two solid weeks of combat you might be smelling more than a little ripe if you know what I mean.'

Might as well, got nothing better to do anyways.

As I ran up the walls of the village and jumped from one rooftop to another I saw something that didn't make me happy at all.

There was this white haired man in the male side peeping into the women's side of the bathing area. 'Damn stinking perverts, for his sake Sayomi better not be taking a bath or the stinking pervert better get used to a liquid diet.'

Just as I got there and looked into the women's area, only Sayomi was taking a bath. "Hey, would you mind stop doing that?" The pervert just pushed my hand off his shoulder.

"Listen kid, there is a woman with a very nice rack taking a bath. I need to get her measurements for my next book. So go bother someone else."

That does it, I tried to be nice just because mom asked me but this pervert is going to pay. "Mind telling me who the hell you are, I need to know so I can send your corpse to the right next of kin!"

This made him stop and turned around to glare at me, "You dare ask who I am? Men envy me, and Women love me all from the East and West. I am Jiraiya the Toad Mountain Sage!"

I glared at him and began cracking my knuckles. "The soon to be dead pervert you mean. The woman that you were peeping is my lover! I am not going to let this go without at least giving you a decent beating!"

The old fart just laughed as I finished saying that. "You think of me as a mere pervert? I am no pervert! I am a super pervert! You make me push up daisies, you are just a punk, you and what army brat!"

One hand sign later and the area was covered in smoke, he must think I used a smoke grenade to runaway. Too bad for him fifty shadow clones were now standing around the area where I was. "That would be this one."

The idiot pervert kept on laughing, "Fifty or a hundred clones will make no difference what so ever, I think I am going to be the one to tan your behind!"

He rushed towards me until he saw what I plan to use to deal with him. All the clones including myself held a perfect rasengan in one of our hands.

"Why you lousy brat! You are going to use a technique you stole from my student to beat me! I loved Minato like he was my son. How dare you steal one of his techniques like that! How did you steal it?"

I couldn't help but to listen to my mom's laughter. "I am the son of Minato Namikaze and I never even heard anything about you! I didn't steal jack! I learned all his techniques. So do you have anything else to say before I send you to your maker?"

He came a little closer to me than I found comfortable and began looking at me up and down. He finally just did something if I was not caught completely by surprise I would kill him for doing. The self proclaimed super pervert hugged me.

"Then you are little Naruto! What luck! I am your godfather. So you are sleeping with that babe with the nice rack. Well I shouldn't be so surprised, they say a boy always wants someone like their mom, and Kushina was one smoking hot mama."

I broke his hold of me, "Next thing you are going to tell me is that you are like that traitor! You two used to sleep together or what?"

He didn't like that comment as much as me calling a pervert. "Let's get one thing straight, I may have been on the same team as him and we might have done more than a few missions together. I can honestly tell you I am not gay, why would I be peeping in the women's side of this place if I was?"

I looked at him and then began to scratch my chin as I thought about it. I looked at him and plainly told him to hide his sexual preference? If he was angry at me calling him gay, now he was mad.

"I am not like that, at all! If you must know I always been in love with your godmother, but the fact is she pretty much rejects me every time I tell her how I feel."

I guess being rejected time and time again made him want to do something to get any kind of attention from her, even if it was not the good kind.

"Alright, alright, prevy sage I believe you. You aren't bent like that. I would like to know why are you even in the village? I mean I never saw you once before today. So what are you doing here? Isn't there something that pretty much kept you so busy that you pretty much abandon me to that hell hole they call an orphanage?"

He sat down in the hot spring and looked at me. "Actually it's because of you. There is an old saying, even if the ninja is blind if he throws enough shuriken some are bound to hit. You pretty much proved Orochimaru was here and he wouldn't come for a social visit."

"So my old teacher decided to call me back for added security during the last part of the Exams. I sort of figure that I might help you train, to sort of make it up to you for being missing from your life."

Part of me wanted to tell him to go right ahead and keep pretending I don't exist. I mean what could this guy teach me? The only thing came to mind was to be as perverted as him, and let's face it that is not something I would ever need.

On the other side mom kept telling me to at least give the pervy sage a chance. As long as I remember my moral upbringing he could try till he turned blue, but I will not disregard the morals and ethics that my mother taught me.

"Alright pervy sage, tell me what exactly can you teach me? What possible useful skill could you possibly teach me in two weeks?"

He took out a large scroll and looked mighty proud of it. "I can teach you about summon beasts, and how to summon them. I might even let you sing my Toad Clan contract."

I bite my thumb and with the blood I placed my hand on the ground. A large cloud of smoked appeared, and after it was gone. A particularly stern looking panther showed up.

"As for summoning I am already a summoner of the Panther Clan. Kibou here is one of the toughest warrior of the Panther Clan. So if you plan to teach me that Summon contracts with a clan are very useful and I am supposed to treat them with honor, respect and as my loyal friends. You are a few years late to teach me that."

Kibou looked at him and smelled him. He immediately realized who this was. "Naruto this is your father's teacher. He owes $56,000 to your mother due to a personal loan. Now let me see, that amount time and take into consideration compound interest."

That was when Jiraiya became rather pale, and then she summoned a rather large toad who was smoking a cigarette, he jumped on him and told him to run for dear life or else he was going to end up in poverty.

The next two weeks were pretty much me and Kibou chasing down Jiraiya to get him to pay his debt to mother, I later learned that the entire thing was decided between the two of them long ago, the idea was to get me to train my stamina, agility and speed.

I guess the pervy sage really did something to help me train. I was so focused on trying to catch him and Gamabuta that I completely forgot about the training I was supposed to do. I would never admit it, but it was rather fun.

I guess I tend to focus on my training and getting better as a ninja, that I sometimes forget to relax and take things just for the fun of it. After two weeks of chasing those two I have to admit, I think I could give old bushy brows a run for his money.

As the day of the tournament arrived, I decided to use the armor my mother had made for me. It was a little too much like the one Madara Uchiha supposedly wore, but then again I would need the extra armor, and reinforcements for my final fight.

My first opponent was my worst in several ways, Sayomi was standing across from me in the massive gladiatorial arena floor as thousands of people watched to see our fight start.

I jumped barely evading Sayomi's Chidori and she was caught by surprise seeing me evade her attempts to land a hit. Damn Kakashi he had to teach her this technique. I better evade her or if she lands a hit I would be as fried as if lightning struck me.

As I evade I began to think of a possible counter attack. As I saw the tree nearby I knew a perfect way to stop her dead on her tracks. I decided to use one of the skills they would never expect me to have.

Good thing I never revealed all my skills or techniques.

I slammed my hands against the tree and just as Sayomi thought she was going to hit me, the tree began to grow branches as lot quicker than anyone expected. The tree grew larger and the branches pretty much held her in place. Both hands were bound by the branches and the wood pretty much canceled her ability to use the Chidori.

I held a kunai to her throat and smiled. "I guess you can surrender or I will have to knock you out Teme." She still pretended to be Sasuke to the bitter end.

"Like I an Uchiha Elite would ever consider surrender to a dead last like you dope! Do your worst I can take it!"

I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and gave her a slight shock that knocked her out. I made the tree return to normal and I carried her to the medical treatment room. If they knew the one that I was giving a piggy back ride was actually a beautiful young woman, and not a guy. Their reactions might be a bit different.

As she pretended to be a guy everyone either called me gay, a deviant, or a thief. Come to think of it I think it was Sakura and Ino who was doing the shouting at me.

I left and I walked up the side of the arena to go towards the rooftop. As I got there I was seeing Gaara's sister fight against my shadow manipulating friend. "I have to say these are the best seats to watch this. Boy Shikamaru is really not holding anything back."

Cat was sitting next to me before I even realize she was there, "This fight could determine his future, of course he is not holding anything back. You are one to talk Naruto. How long are you going to keep it a secret that you could use wood release?"

I smiled at my masked friend and let out a sigh, "I am an Uzumaki which pretty much makes me cousin to the Uchiha, Senju and Hyuuga Clans. It really shouldn't surprise you to see me have the wood release blood trait. Who knows, I might even have the Sharingan and I just never used my eyes."

"Nice perfume Cat, where are the others of your squad? Shouldn't they keep an eye on the guy pretending to be the Kazekage? Even I can tell the guy smells like he sleeps each night in a bed of snakes."

She looked at me and then at the Kazekage, or more importantly the guy pretending to be the Kazekage. 'Darn it, if this was not high noon Shikimaru would have this fight won already. What is worse I can't help.'

"You really think the Kazekage is Orochimaru? I mean you would think the Hokage would notice his old student." That does it, I am not joining ANBU any time soon. It looks like I was right in wanting to join the Hunter Division after all.

"The Hokage let the traitor leave, cause he might change his way. He has complete and utter faith in his village and his students specially. Let's face it, if he was a bit less trusting my life would have been a whole lot better, and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"The villagers have tried to kill me off for years, had it not been for mom. My life would have been either over, or a living hell. Look up the term spoiled brat and I would not be surprised to find Orochimaru's picture right next to the definition."

"He wanted to be Hokage, which is to be the protector of our village and our people, but the second he was refused he runs away and plans to destroy the very thing he would be in charge of protecting. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum because he or she was denied something he or she wanted."

"Nice move, using a balloon to make a shadow. This is why I am applying to the Hunter Division. If the snake bastard escapes from this place, I plan to one day do what our Hokage won't, kill him."

Cat looked at me and I got the feeling she was a bit sad, "Isn't there a chance for him to redeem himself? Is there no forgiveness in your heart Naruto?"