Aftermath

Author's Note: Originally published on February 24, 2011

I kept telling myself they were safe, but seeing Tonks and Professor Lupin buried this morning had shaken that belief. The sound of Teddy's cries at the funeral had pierced my heart, the cruelty and depth of his loss evident to everyone except him.

Was I, like poor Teddy, now an orphan?

Had something happened to them in the past year?

Would I be able to find them and bring them home?

I had too many questions, and few answers.

I clutched the chipped cup in my hands, the boiling tea doing little to heat my fingers. I couldn't seem to fight off the constant chill from too many nights spent shivering in the dark.

The Portkey, an old toothbrush staring at me from the table renewed my hope momentarily; Ron's words providing temporary warmth as he kissed me gently on the head, knowing I needed space.

"We leave tomorrow."

I would give anything to be on the wrong end of a prank. To know they were in their room, scheming and plotting to embarrass me for a laugh.

But they weren't, and never would be again.

"Stupid, stupid," I cursed at myself as the familiar hot tears came again. They'd probably take the piss if they saw me right now.

My brother was dead.

I always looked up to them and wanted to be just like them, my closest brothers.

Now just one.

I heard the shuffle of footsteps and turned away, shielding my shame and pain, trying desperately to compose myself.

"Oh Ron," Hermione whispered.

I felt her arms around my much too skinny waist, her head resting against my back.

At least one good thing came out of this. I'm sure Fred was having a laugh somewhere, seeing us together.

Hopefully, George would even crack a smile.

My life to this point had been defined by the war and Voldemort.

Now it was done.

I should have felt relief, being freed of my burden, but I was surrounded by grief. I knew how it felt, the raw pain of having a loved one ripped away so suddenly.

It was too much for me to acknowledge. I was drained, tired of the sadness that ruled my life.

My adopted mother had lost a son. My best friends were in their own little worlds, and the girl that meant the most was in mourning.

For years they had supported me, taken care of me like no one ever had. Protected and comforted me during my darkest periods.

As awkward as I felt, I knew the time was now to return the favour.

I slipped my hand over Ginny's and gave it a squeeze.

It was the best I could offer.