Author's note: I cannot apologise enough for the ridiculous delay in updating this story - RL has been totally kicking my ass, and I simply haven't had the time to do this story justice (anyone who's written a long-ish story will agree they're the worst to update, because there's so much to keep track of when you write so you don't contradict yourself or screw up the plot lol). Anywho, thanks a huge ton to everyone who's read, reviewed and alerted - especially the latter two, since they drove me to finally sit down and puzzle everything out and get back to work :-D You guys are awesome! I only hope this chapter is good enough to compare to the rest of the fic so far, and I promise to try my best not to take even half so long updating again :-D (reviews will definitely help my resolve with that... *grins*)
Anyway, enough blathering, on with the story...
When Castiel had left Dean, he'd had no idea where he was going.
All he'd been sure of was that he had to get away, fast. The longer the Bond was active, the closer he was to Dean, the stronger it would grow and he couldn't allow that.
Long-buried anger rose to the surface as he flew – Archangel or not, he had had no right! Nearly two thousand years, and Gabriel hadn't changed a bit. Still doing as he pleased and damn the consequences for everyone else.
He'd blocked the Bond as best he was able for now, and needed distance to do more. Reaching out, Castiel checked the planet below for traces of his Brothers.
There were a few areas that would be safe, but that one…yes, that one was perfect, he thought as he altered course and flew to the church in a fraction of a second.
It was derelict, probably no longer structurally sound, but it didn't need to be, not for what he had in mind. The town was abandoned, so there was little chance of his being interrupted, and the energy of the church left from more than a century ago was enough that it would mask his Grace for as long as he needed it to.
Being almost human had taught him caution, and Castiel found a sheltered alcove from which he could see the main room clearly whilst remaining mostly out of sight.
Closing his eyes, he turned his focus inwards, and felt for his Bond to Dean.
What he found dismayed him.
Already, it was strong. Not too strong, but it would be a near thing – there was no time to waste. Severing it would not be the work of a few moments; it would take time and concentration if he didn't want to risk hurting his friend.
SPNSPNSPN
Gabriel forced himself to focus solely on his Brother as he flew – thoughts of Sam, of their shared 'dream'…they were things that could wait.
Careful to avoid those areas glowing with Grace – really, his Brothers needed to learn a little discretion! – Gabriel picked out Aziraphale and Crowley almost immediately. Crowley was skulking around Europe, far from the bulk of Gabriel's brethren, whilst his better half was traipsing across Africa - *and doing a damn good job of appearing inconspicuous* Gabriel thought with a grin. He reached out further, searching for Castiel and finding within seconds the Grace that was almost as familiar to him as his own.
Gabriel's Brother and his mate could've been further from Castiel if they'd tried, he mused, but not by much. With a thought Gabriel took flight again, reaching his destination in the blink of an eye.
New Zealand.
The whole world, and his little brother had run to an abandoned town in New Zealand.
Forget Vegas and its bright lights, or Hawaii and its beaches…who needs them when you've got run-down churches in abandoned mining towns?
*For Dad's sake! Cassie really needs to get out more! Once this apocalypse is dealt with, we're so taking a vacation.*
Gabriel walked towards the church, not wanting to startle the younger Angel.
At least he'd had the sense to mask his Grace – that had been Gabriel's biggest worry. Heaven wouldn't look twice at a slight spike in Holy energy coming from a religious building, abandoned or not – after all, abandoned buildings got re-opened all the time.
As he neared the church door, Gabriel noticed that something was off. The Grace he could feel was too much, too strong…almost as if it was no longer properly contained…
Had Castiel been injured? Had he gotten into a fight, been attacked, and run here to escape? If his vessel was damaged…
Panic flooded Gabriel as he flew. He landed a few feet from Castiel, all thought of not startling him gone.
He pulled up short at the sight that greeted him.
Castiel was hunched over, struggling to stay on his feet in a small, shaded alcove. His eyes were glassy, sweat beaded across his forehead, but there was no visible wound, no blood…just Grace, leaking out as though straight through his skin.
In front of him, knuckles white from the pressure, Castiel held his sword at the ready, and Gabriel saw on his brother's face the moment he recognised him. The younger Angel's eyes widened slightly, and Gabriel waited for the sword to lower so that he could move in and figure out what had gone wrong.
He'd been so sure that Bonding with Dean would help, but it seemed he'd missed something, and he needed to fix it before it got any worse.
To say he was a tiny bit surprised at what happened next, would be like saying that Lucifer was a tiny bit naughty, or Michael a tiny bit militant.
"Leave, Gabriel."
Castiel's voice was strained, his breathing laboured. But his tone as the sword rose a little higher was unmistakable – cold, hard…empty of all friendly feeling.
"Now Cassie, that's hardly the way to greet the guy who saved your life!" Gabriel joked, forcing a grin he didn't feel to cover up the hurt that he did.
He'd expected mistrust and dislike from the humans, but Cas…he'd always thought that Castiel would at least be willing to listen, especially now that he was on their side.
"You had no right. To take away his free will like that…it is unconscionable Gabriel!"
"Take away…? What are you talking about Castiel? You're not making sense…"
"You used Dean – you forced a Bond on him without his knowledge or permission!"
Gabriel reeled at the accusation. Castiel thought that Dean didn't know…? Didn't understand…?
*Damned Winchester! Couldn't have given Cassie all the facts before he let him run off, could he?*
As soon as this was dealt with, Dean's car was getting a new paint-job. And re-upholstering. In pink. And all his cassettes were being replaced with show-tunes. Or Queen.
*I bet Crowley still hasn't figured that one out…* he thought with a fleeting grin.
First things first though…
"I didn't…" he began, but was cut off by Cas.
"It was lucky I awoke when I did – another few hours and it would have been too late. New Bonds of this kind are weak, it's painful but they can be severed with little lasting effect on those involved if it is done carefully. I don't know what your plan is, but it will not work – another few minutes and it will be done, Dean will be free."
As his Brother spoke, Gabriel's panic increased. He could feel a faint worry radiating from Sam across their Bond, but he ignored it. He could apologise to his Bond-mate later.
"You idiot!"
Okay, not very diplomatic, but time wasn't exactly a luxury at the exact moment.
"The Bond is the only reason you're not dead – severing it will kill you! Winchester knew exactly what he signed up for, Castiel. You think I would force something as intimate as this on anyone without their knowledge?"
Nevermind that that was exactly what he'd done to Sam, albeit unintentionally. He was lucky the hunter didn't blame him…he was beyond lucky that Sam actually accepted the Bond…
He shook off the thought before Castiel had chance to interrupt.
"If you're gonna be pissed about this, be pissed for yourself bro! You're the only one who didn't get a choice in this, and I am sorry for that, but as I saw it, it was simple – Dean and Sam need you, Dean especially…so I took a gamble. You were willing to die for him. I figured that probably meant you'd be willing to live with him if he had no objections."
"He did not – – – he was confused – when I asked what saving me had cost, he had no idea…"
The younger Angel sounded lost and unsure, the fight leaving him suddenly, and with it his strength as he stumbled backwards to lean against the wall.
"And it didn't occur to you that maybe that was because he didn't consider it a price to pay? He sold his soul for his brother's life, Castiel – you think he wouldn't try to save the Angel who pulled him from the pit? Who gave up Heaven for him? Who died for him? The man's main talent in life is self-sacrifice, and you thought he'd stand by and watch you die?"
"I did not…"
Gabriel watched as Castiel trailed off, deflated and unable to find the words to expression his confusion.
"Stop it Cassie, now, while there's still time – – – please. I'm not letting you die here, so just stop it before I have to resort to desperate measures. Again."
Gabriel poured every ounce of feeling, of sincerity, into his words, praying that his brother would listen, would mend the Bond before his Grace destroyed his vessel completely.
"Why do you care…?"
His voice was barely a whisper, his sentence punctuated by the dull thud of his sword hitting the ground as he became too weak to grip it.
"Fix it and we'll talk. You don't have time for this Cas – fix it, and I'll answer anything you ask, I swear…"
Gabriel was getting desperate.
He'd said he wouldn't let Castiel die, but the truth of it was that if the younger Angel didn't repair the Bond before it broke, he didn't know if he could save him. It had been a long shot in the first place, and the idiot was throwing it away over a misunderstanding and a two millennia-old grudge.
Desperate times…
"If you do this…if you throw away what he tried to do for you, Dean will never forgive you Castiel. Giving up is never an option to him, and that's what you're doing. You're spitting on everything he's done for you, on everything he believes in."
He almost shook with the effort of keeping his voice steady, his tone cold and harsh.
Pleading hadn't worked, maybe this would. If he could just make him angry enough, make him guilty enough…
He fought down a grin as Castiel's head shot up, his eyes narrowed.
The air around them crackled with energy, and Gabriel was flooded with relief as he felt the Bond flare back into being.
It had been close – too close – but he'd done it.
Now he just had to deal with his pissed off baby brother…how hard could that be?
"Why do you care so much Gabriel? What do you get out of this?"
Castiel's voice was cold again as he pulled away from the wall. He scooped up his sword as he stalked towards Gabriel, stopping with barely a foot between them.
"I'm just trying to help…"
"Help? Since when do you help, Gabriel? You run, remember? You run, and you leave others to suffer the consequences!"
"I didn't…"
"Save your excuses!" Cas hissed, his face mere inches away as he towered above the small figure. "Sam may trust you, but I do not. I might not know why you helped me, but it certainly was not out of the goodness of your heart – you don't have one. Stay away from the Winchesters Gabriel, they have beenthrough enough."
Before Gabriel could draw breath to reply, Castiel was gone.
Gabriel made no move to follow – he could have caught up to his brother easily, but he had neither need nor inclination. Castiel was headed back to the Winchesters, he'd have known that even if he hadn't felt Sam's jolt of pleased surprise at his return; Gabriel was in no rush to see his brother again.
He'd succeeded – he should be happy right? And he was – of course he was, but the venom in Castiel's voice as he'd spoken, the absolute, utter hatred that radiated from his entire being...
He'd hoped that joining the Winchesters would give him back a part of something he'd thought lost, but now…
The depth of Castiel's anger was far greater than he'd feared. And suddenly he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get past it.
With barely a thought he left the church, running entirely on instinct.
When he landed on the snow covered mountain top, he barely registered his surroundings; instead he fell to his knees, bowed his head and closed his eyes, oblivious to Sam's growing worry and concern emanating from their Bond.
SPNSPNSPN
Trying to talk to Dean about anything while Cas was missing was, Sam realised quickly, a lost cause. If it didn't involve immediate threat to either life or limb for Sam or Bobby, Dean wasn't hearing it until Castiel was safe.
Sam just wished he knew what was going on.
He felt like he was on an emotional rollercoaster as panic, worry, confusion, annoyance, hurt, desperation and fear washed over him in turns, and when relief finally hit, Sam almost collapsed into the chair, glad that it – whatever it was – was over.
Expecting Gabe and Cas to return at any moment, Sam moved to nudge his brother where he was slumped over the counter, another beer clutched loosely in his hand.
The wave of hurt caught him off-guard, freezing him with arm outstretched.
Something was still wrong.
Sam pulled his arm back and began wishing he'd gone with Gabriel…being stuck here, not being able to help, not knowing what was happening…it was torturous.
He felt Gabriel's pain grow as the seconds ticked by, focussing on it as though if he tried hard enough he might divine its source.
He was so focused that Castiel's sudden appearance at Dean's side caught him entirely by surprise.
"Cas!"
He couldn't stop the grin that formed at the sight of the Angel, and at his brother's startled jump.
"Cas? What the hell, man? Where'd you go?"
Suddenly Dean was standing next to Castiel, bottle forgotten on the table as his hand now gripped the Angel's arm tightly as though he might leave again if Dean didn't hold on.
As if Dean's grip could stop him leaving if he wished.
Sam bit back a snort at the thought that actually, it probably would as he noticed the way the Angel was gazing at his brother in wonder.
"We must talk, now," was all the answer Dean got, and then suddenly Sam was alone.
Alone with Gabriel's despair radiating through every inch of his body.
What had happened?
Where was his Archangel?
Not knowing what else to do, Sam ran to the summoning circle he'd drawn earlier out near the car.
He couldn't find Gabriel himself, but maybe Crowley could.
All he knew was he needed to do something now, because he was starting to lose his hold on the fact that it wasn't his pain he was feeling, and he knew that if he let it, Gabriel's anguish would swallow him whole.
So...? Did I do good? If it sucks, please tell me and I'll try my best to fix it - it's been so long since I wrote the rest that it was hard to get back in their heads...
Sarah x