A/N: Had to reupload this chapter! Few minor mistakes are now fixed. C:

You are Dave Strider and you're starting to think you're living conditions are going to kill you.

You realized that Jade all of a sudden found an interest in walking around your apartment in very... VERY revealing clothing. Lately, she has been prancing around the place in REALLY short shorts and a sports bra like it's nobody's fucking business. Well... it really isn't anyone's fucking business. Or at least it shouldn't be anyone's fucking business. Because if it is you're really going to have to kill some cunt muffin. Regardless, her escapades have been leaving you and you're member utterly distraught.

You're casually looking down at your phone waiting a message from your best bro, John, when you look up to a face full of nice round Jade butt in your face. She seems to be in her usual booty shorts, with the slight twist of a cute strapless bikini top instead of her usual sports bra.

You set aside the fact her booty-licious booty is practically pressed up against your face with how close it is, and look up to see the back of her head. Her hair was tied messily in a side ponytail. "Jade..."

"Yes Dave?" she glanced back at you briefly before returning to what ever she was doing prior to you calling her name.

"Might I ask what you're doing?" You asked her adjusting your shades to veil the fact you're pitching a mighty fine tent right now. She glanced back at you again and giggled.

"I was just watching a video," she said showing me her iPod as she turned it off. She stuffed into in her pocket and, before you could flee from the possible fuel that was about to be added to the fire raging in you pants, she plopped her nice ass into you lap, "and now I'm sitting in your lap," she smiled as she grabbed your arms to wrap them around her bare stomach.

You grunt softly because you can feel her pressed against your boner. You think to yourself This fucking girl...

You are now Jade Harley and right now you are getting your wonderful boyfriend back for not taking you to his club and leaving you home alone for a week.

You can hear a quiet grunt from his throat, signaling you are doing a fabulous job. You wiggle your hips a little, and he puts his hands on your waist trying to push you away as he gulped down the lump in his throat. Ignoring his attempts, you ground into his waist harder, making him grunt again.

"Jade..." he called you again.

"Yes Dave?" you answered as you ground into his waist again, eliciting more of a moan this time.

"Might I ask..." he trailed of as you got up, and turned around to straddle his lap.

"Ask what, Dave?" He moaned again. You smirked at him with your lips barely touching his. He tries to lean into them, but you pull away, "What are you asking me, Dave?"

He cleared his throat before continuing. "Might I ask why you are dressed..." he took a long pause.

"Dressed?" You giggled, "Would you prefer if I was naked?" He suddenly caught Your lips with his. His tongue was on yours instantly. You moan into his mouth.

"Actually, now that you mention it," he said having already removed your bikini top, "I would prefer you naked." his voice was full of lust as he captured one of your nipples in his mouth. You moan as his hand massages your other breast.

You are now Dave Strider, and this girl has finally pushed you to your limit.

You know you are rubbing her the right way, figuratively and literally. Mainly because it's just not ironic enough for you if there's just one way of understanding it.

"Dave!" she moaned your name. Damn right she's moaning your name. Your the fucking best at making that girl moan. You went to college just to major in Makin-Harley-moan-ology. Got a P.H.D and everything for that shit.

"Dave." that one sounds a lot less like a moan, but ehhhhh still a moan in your book.

"Dave." She just flat out said your name. You look up at her to see what her deal was.

Her eyes were full of lust. Duh. You were just working your magic on her, of course she's feeling hot and bothered. She leaned down and kissed you softly, her hands eloping your face. The kiss started to heat up as you lick her lips causing her to open them. Your tongues tangle in desperate attempt to get more of each other. She suddenly pulls away taking your shades with her.

"Hey," you call after her as she runs off into your room with your glasses.

"Later cool kid," she said as she closed your door and locking it.

"Damn it Harley!" you yelled into the door. You can hear her snicker through the door. You stand there for what feels like the longest minute of your life, and finally accepted defeat and head to the bathroom.