A/N: Whoa! new chapter crazy. In all honesty, I forgot that i even wrote fanfiction. but lately i've been getting a lot of reviews for this fic and they show up in my email every so often, so i decided to update. i probably won't update regularly, but i will probably update every now and then just to keep you all coming back to something.
I apologize if any of my stuff from the past seems kinda trashy, freshman me was trash...
Anyway on another note, I hope you all had a great New Years! Thank you for all the reviews, i really appreciate it. Now for the part you've all been waiting so long for...
You are Jade Harley and you're boyfriend, Dave, has not been home in what feels like 500 years.
You've basically been sitting at home for HOURS now and still no sign of cool kid with shades anywhere in or around the apartment building. You know, you circled it 300 times. Not only that, but his car is still in the lot! What the hell! Where could he have possibly gone without his car?
You would check you're phone for text messages, but with the mess that is you're current living space it seems virtually impossible. You'll just have to sit around and wait and wait and wait... and wait... and wait... and... wait... and...
You are now sleeping on the floor next to the bed.
You are now Dave Strider and you absolutely hate waiting in lines.
You had to refill out your time card at the club early this morning and decided to walk instead of taking your car. You texted Jade that, and still no reply. She's probably still asleep. When that was over and done with you decided to plan an ironic dinner date for you're girlfriend, because you love her and you know she deserves it. But here you are, waiting in this FUCKING line behind some stupid lady that been arguing with the cashier the whole fucking time.
You just wanted to run to the store, get some shitty cheap wine and some stupid red roses, make Harley leave the house for an hour or something, order some shitty pizza, slap that shit on some fancy plate, light some romantic candles, have a ironically stupid dinner, and quite possibly get laid. But no. Some stupid soccer mom is holding up one of the only lines open rummaging through her stack of expired coupons.
"Umm lady... I'm pretty sure you're stack of coupons are expired. Can you just pay for your shit and go?" You say to the lady slightly irritated. She looks at you with a face that basically told you "why you little shit..."
"Ummmm excuse me, kid. I'm trying to tell this cashier that my coupons are not expired and trying to save money. How rude of you to interrupt. You know, if you didn't interrupt me I probably would have been finished by now. The youth these days are soooo rude! Like yesterday my son..." Oh my fucking god, this is going to take forever.
You whine, irritated at the situation. You remember that box of condoms under you're bed that you really REALLY hope Jade doesn't find. You've been doing a very good job making sure she doesn't find them, because you know for a fact that she is probably going to freak and get the completely wrong idea. You were saving them for her, but she probably won't assume that. Especially since it's been open and you gave some to you're main bro, John. Although, you don't think he really uses them. That kid has little to no game on you're sister. That kid is a total derp stick.
You dismiss the idea of Jade finding the box. There're no way she could find those. What could she possibly do to find out those were under there?
You are now Jade Harley and you're waking up ever so slowly to see a box hidden not to far under the bed.
You reach for the box and let your eyes focus before examining it
It's...
HOLY FUCK, ITS A BOX OF CONDOMS.
Not only that but it's already been opened... Which means some of them were used? But you and Dave haven't done the do yet. These definitely can't be yours either...
A sharp pain in your heart hits you. Has he been cheating on you? Is it because you don't put out enough? You guys do a bunch of other thing, but is that not enough fore him? you grab the box and head into the living room.
"DAVE FUCK BOY STRIDER!" You yell into the apartment... no one... Right. He's been out all day... out... with his other girlfriend!
You curl into a ball and fight back the tears in you're eyes. This cannot be happening. He's not cheating on you. He wouldn't... Would he? You are trying you're absolute hardest to not break down into a mess of tears when a knock comes on the door.
If it's that skank that's been sleeping with you're boyfriend you're definitely going to kill her. If it's Dave he's definitely going to be doing a lot of explaining. You walk up to the front door, take a deep breath, and with a shaky hand unlock the door and open it.
"Good afternoon Jade, I'm here to inquire some information from my brother." Rose is standing at the door, tall and proper as ever. You breath a sigh of relief as tears start to spill from your eyes, "Oh my. Jade, what's the matter?"
You are now Rose Lalonde and you're best friend is crying her eyes out.
"I found this under Dave's bed..." she said in between sobs. She hands you a box. You take the box curiously. A normal box of condoms, opened. About 8 of them missing. In this instant you know what Jade has already jumped to conclude.
"Now now, Jade. It may not be what it seems," and you are completely right. It's exactly not what it seems. You know John had a stack of condoms of the same brand and you also concluded that Dave was probably the one John called when he excused himself in the middle of their escapade after not being able to find a single thing in his drawer of "proper attire."
"How do you know that? How do I know that?" She said sobbing into her hands again as you both sit on the couch. You place a comforting hand on Jade's back. This is a perfect time to be a conniving instigator of something that would definitely earn you a favor from you're brother dearest.
"Well Jade if you really want to find out, this is what you do..." You lean in to whisper you're master plan into her ear with a devious smile.
You Are Dave Stider and you walk home empty handed.
That lady was just taking way too long and you decided to just fuck everything and go home. You're very hungry and in need of some cuddling.
You walk under the hot sun and you wonder why you didn't take you're car. It has an AC that works perfectly fine, but no. You're walking home in weather that's hotter than the devil's crotch. You contemplate going to the convenience store to buy some ice cream, but remembered that convenience stores also have lines. So you give a big "Fuck you" to that idea and keep walking home bound.
You check your phone while waiting for the cars to pass at a cross walk. Still no reply. You really hope Jade isn't mad at you.
You are now Jade Harley and you are looking at yourself in some really kinky lingerie in the bathroom mirror.
"Are you sure this is going to work, Rose?" You ask your friend from the other side of the door.
"Of course. Do you want to find out if Dave is cheating on you or not?" she relied. You look at you're full ensemble. A black lace push up bra with matching black lace panties and garter belt holding up black stalking nylon with what looked like shining white stars in space printed on to them. You guess you don't look too bad, but you're still very embarrassed about being seen like this.
"Are you sure?"
"Jade, for the love of god, yes. It is going to work. Did you put the cat ears and choker on?" You shake you're head in reply but then realized that you're an idiot because she's on the other side of the door.
"No..."
"Well put them on, and wait for Dave. I have to go meet you're brother at the mall in a few minutes so I will take my leave." You can hear you're friend move away from the bathroom door.
"Okay... See ya, Rose! And thank you!" You yell so she can hear you as she leaves.
"Good luck!" she yelled back. You hear the front door close and turn you're attention back to the image in the mirror. Rose did you're hair make up and you're very satisfied with the way it turned out. She tied you're long black hair into an elegant pony tail. You can still let some of it drape over you're shoulders with how long it is, but it still won't cover much. You put on the choker. It was just a regular black collar with white laced edges. Nothing special. And for the finishing touch, the cat ears.
Twenty minutes after Rose left you hear the front door open. That has to be Dave. You give yourself one last look before exiting the bathroom.
"Jade?" He calls through the house. You take a seductive pose next to the bedroom door frame as Dave walks into the hall way immediately seeing you and freezing.
"M-Meow..." Dave drops his keys and phone on the ground.
You are now Dave Strider...
... and what the FUCK IS GOING ON?!
A/N: ooohhhhhh i really liked how this chapter turned out! I might write another one tomorrow, it i'm not completely exhausted. I Hope you enjoyed!