And now, we come to the episode 'Veterans Day'! The episode where we all honor the troops of America who served our country! And what do I do with this one?
...Do a parody of a famous book. ...Yeah. I'm certain I'm going to get some backlash for this one, but I got an idea so good for this story, and besides, Helga technically didn't appear in that episode, so I may as well make up something up on the spot! Anyway, this is Part 1 of the story, so there'll be another part soon afterwards! Anyway, enjoy!
Come Monday afternoon, our club of N.O.P.E.O.P.L.E. were gathered around the area and having our Veterans' Day picnic. Olga was at the podium as we looked up.
"Settle down, folks." Olga said as she banged the gavel. "This meeting of NO PEOPLE has officially started."
As we were all settled in, I looked around at the others as I saw Phoebe was paying extravagant attention, Nadine was enjoying a veggie burger she got from the picnic, and some of the other kids were enjoying their food. The adults were eagerly awaiting as Sharlene was smiling in relief and Carver was giving Olga the look.
The reason Sharlene was smiling in relief. Well, Olga held up true to her word that Inge was gone. Even though she was a little disappointed that Inge had to leave, she figured it was probably for the better. When Carver asked both of them why Olga would need a nanny, Olga just said, "You know my dad. Sometimes he may be blind to reality."
But here we were now, looking over the NO PEOPLE meeting as Carver was doing his usual minute reading. "8:01, 8:02, 8:03!"
Even most of the kids were getting sick of the joke as they were starting to throw their drinks at Carver.
"Kids, kids, kids!" Olga said as she was banging the gavel. "Order, order!"
The kids settled down as Olga nodded. "Thank you so much. Okay, Carver, be serious, please."
"Okay, okay..." Carver coughed as he looked at the clipboard he was holding. "Last meeting, we were discussing on what to do in terms of lowering our candy rations. Some, if most kids, disagreed with the notion and started a rowdy fight. The president got involved in some rowdy nonsense with the new treasurer and I."
"What nonsense? You said that we should give the kids ten pounds of candy each, and Sharlene went with it! I said no to that!" Olga glared.
"Afterwards, I offer a slight motivation for our president, but our president said that was no good." Carver read.
"Of course it was no good! You told me to go jump off a cliff!" Olga glared as all the kids laughed.
"And then, we all calmed down after the president agreed that the candy should remain the same, but not too much." Carver said. "Only a quarter of candy for kids... like, two pieces."
"Have you SEEN one of them on a sugar rush?" Olga sighed as she looked at me.
I, er, averted my eyes up to the sky as I heard Carver say, "All right, fair point. After that, we discussed our national juice and made a motion to see if we could switch it. Orange juice remained the same."
I sighed as I paid attention to the meeting as I was humming to myself a bit.
After the NO PEOPLE meeting was adjourned, I just decided to relax by the lake as Phoebe and Nadine were off with the other kids, playing ball. I was just looking into the lake as I noticed Olga was coming over, book in hand. Olga sighed as she opened her book and started reading it. Olga then turned to me as she said, "Bored?"
"Only a little." I said. "But actually, I was just thinking about this Veterans' Day thing. I get it, it's to honor the troops, but my family hasn't done anything in terms of the wars."
"It's okay." Olga said as she flipped through the book. "My generations weren't involved in too many wars, either."
"I'm glad we're not alone on this..." I sighed as I looked to Olga. "What are you reading?"
"Oh, just a little something for an English project in community college. If I keep going, I may graduate a little earlier than usual.
I looked at the title of the book. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland? I always thought it was a kids' book."
"You'd be surprised." Olga said as she flipped through the book. "There are some hidden meanings in both this and 'Through the Looking Glass' that adults can understand, and you know, there is a bit of a history between the author of this book and the actual character based on the main character of the story."
"Wow..." I said as I sighed. "You know, I wouldn't mind being like Alice... going off on some strange places, going into strange worlds... it would be a good getaway, wouldn't you say?"
Olga sighed. "It's good... a good form of escape from reality, but somehow, I don't know if it's possible."
"I don't know..." I said. "Olga, think you can read some of the story to me?"
"Sure, Rhonda." Olga smiled as she started to read a few passages.
I sighed happily just listening to Olga reading. Somehow, I felt a lot... happier. Even my headache that was usually there just went away for a while.
As soon as Olga was done with the first chapter of the book, I looked up to Olga as I asked, "You ever think there really is such a place as Wonderland?"
"I doubt it, Rhonda." Olga said. "The Wonderland that Lewis Carroll wrote in the story was just a dream that Alice had because she got bored. But still, it would be nice to get away, to see these Wonderland creatures, maybe meet some old faces... and who knows, maybe some new faces."
Olga smiled as she started to hum a bit of a tune.
(To the tune of 'In A World of My Own' from 'Alice in Wonderland')
(Olga)
Exploration, it's just another form of adventure,
Where you'll find real life and love, that's for sure!
It's just one thing after another!
Anybody, could tell you what to do with your own life,
But it can be easily cut with a surgical knife
It's only just one thing after another!
Olga and I looked up at the sky to see some birds flying around as we smiled.
In a wonderland, we could be at a park or at a small beach,
Or even be the president to make a small speech,
It's just one thing after another!
We could be, just like little Alice,
And explore our own imagination!
Olga sighed as she looked at the lake and swung her hand at it, causing a small splash.
I just wish that life is like my book,
With some water for our dehydration.
Olga sighed as she looked up at the sky.
"I'M LATE! I'M LATE! OH, I AM SO LATE!" I heard Phoebe say as I felt her fly by me with her wings.
Wait... wings?
"Olga? Tell me you just saw one of my friends rushing by, flying with wings?" I said as I turned Olga's head towards the flying Phoebe's direction.
"Uh... I think so." Olga said. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't your friend NOT have wings?" Olga blinked.
"And what's more... what is she late for?" I asked.
"Should we follow?" Olga asked.
"Well, duh! Phoebe's my best friend!" I said as I started to run off, following Phoebe.
"Rhonda! Please, stick with me!" Olga said in concern as she started to follow.
Upon following Phoebe, I noticed that aside from the wyvern wings she had recently acquired, she had a wrist-watch that told her the time. I heard Phoebe groan as she said, "So late, so late... no time to stop anywhere, because I am so FREAKING LATE!"
Phoebe then pulled out a small hole from her pockets and threw it to the side as she jumped into the other side.
I stopped shortly at the hole as Olga panted, coming close to me. Olga recovered as she said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but... do portable holes NOT exist?"
"I don't know, but we're going to find out!" I said as I was about to cross through the hole.
"Let's not and say we did." Olga said as she turned around.
"Come on, Olga, whatever's through that hole has to be fun!" I said as I grabbed Olga.
She yelped as we both jumped into the hole...
And right out the other side, where we saw Phoebe just shrinking down to size as she went right into a door that was also shrunk.
"Oh, too bad. Guess we won't find out why your friend turned into a wyvern." Olga smiled. "Door's too small. Come on, let's go..."
The portable hole we went through suddenly disappeared. "...home."
"Come on, Olga... there has to be a way inside!" I sighed as I peeked down through the keyhole and saw Phoebe flying away.
Olga paused as she snapped her fingers. "I think I know what's going on... one of us dreaming... though which one of us it is, we don't know."
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
"Well, we're going through something similar Alice did in the book, remember?" Olga smiled as she pointed to her storybook.
"So... you think if we go through a few Alice-in-Wonderland like events, we could probably get out of the dream?" I asked as I kept examining the small door.
"Exactly!" Olga said as she looked in the book. "Now, if we're too big for that small door, we should obviously drink the bottles on the table!"
Olga smiled as she held out her hand.
Dead, mocking, silence.
Olga frowned. "THE BOTTLES... ON THE TABLE!"
Again, dead, mocking, silence.
"I think we're supposed to get small another way..." I said. "When we got in, I didn't see Phoebe drink anything."
"What do we do?" Olga groaned.
I paused. "What if we try to think small? Would that work?"
Olga paused. "Let's try it..."
Olga and I both closed our eyes as we tried to imagine ourselves being small... small... so small.
Olga and I both opened our eyes as I smiled. "It worked!"
"Uh..." Olga said as she pointed towards the NOW too large door.
"Worked too well." I sighed. "Oh well, we can just crawl under the door and think up our regular size."
"All right." Olga said as we started to crawl under the door.
When we got through the door and looked around as we saw ourselves in a large field of big flowers.
"Hmmmm..." Olga blinked as we looked around. "This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder."
"Okay... let's see what we can do..." I closed my eyes as Olga did the same. We were going to try to grow big using the same trick to 'Think Big'.
We opened our eyes and noticed that... it didn't work. Olga frowned. "Why didn't it work?"
"Maybe it only works in the one room..." I sighed. "We should probably go, Olga. Maybe we'll find something that can help us..."
Olga nodded as we started to go along the area... this... strange place.
"Where are we, anyway?" I asked. "I get this is a version of Wonderland, but... what type of Wonderland?"
Olga then spotted a sign as she squinted at it. "Take a look at this, Rhonda."
I proceeded to do so as we looked at the sign. "Welcome to Wacko-World, where ANYTHING can happen!"
"Wacko-World?" I said.
Olga just shrugged. "Come on, let's keep moving forward..."
Olga and I continued walking for what seemed to be like an hour until we spotted something in the distance. It seemed like smoking coming over.
"Let's see what's going on over there..." I said to Olga.
Olga just nodded as we followed the smoke as we heard some mystery enchantment coming over. I looked out from behind a bush as I noticed the smoke was coming from a campfire... and near it... oh God, it was Curly! But... Curly looked like a ladybug.
Olga and I looked at each other in curiosity before going near Curly, as I said, "Excuse me?"
Curly jumped as he turned. "Who... are... you?"
"Well..." I paused. "I'm Rhonda, this is Olga, and we're trying to find either a girl with wyvern wings and/or a way to grow big again."
"Ah, then you have come to the right guy, for I am the Curl-bug!" Curly... er, the Curl-bug smiled. "Although I cannot tell you about WHERE, I can tell you HOW!"
"Where and... how?" Olga said in confusion.
"Indeed." Curl-bug smiled as he looked up at the sky and flew up in the sky. "You see, to be big, you just have to say 'Gorilla', and to be small, you need to think small."
With that, Curl-bug grew big the minute he said, "Gorilla", but grew smaller to our size as he kept talking.
"Wait... you say "GORILLA" to grow big?" Olga frowned as she grew to her regular size. "You say... GORILLA?"
Olga grew twice her size as she frowned. "That is just the stupidest- whoops!"
Olga then realized she was as high as the forest. Olga closed her eyes as I watched her shrink down back to my size. Olga blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry..."
"Eh, first timer, huh? It happens." Curl-bug shrugged as he started to fly. "Well, sorry I can't help you with your wyvern thing, but I have to go. I need to find all the campfires I can to put them out! The king doesn't approve of campfires, and I'm assigned to destroy every campfire in sight! Bye!"
Curl-bug then waved as he started to fly off. Olga blinked as I nodded.
"This is just weird..." Olga sighed. "But if this is Wacko-World's way..."
"Gorilla!" Olga and I both said as we grew back to regular size.
"Okay, let's just remember what we need to do if we ever need to grow big or small." I said as Olga and I kept going.
"Indeed." Olga said as we kept going.
Olga and I kept going as I was humming a bit of 'All in the Golden Afternoon' as Olga and I felt that... something was following us.
"Do you ever have the feeling you were being followed?" Olga asked as I nodded.
"You think we're being... watched?" I asked.
"I don't know... I just have a feeling..." Olga said.
"HELLO!"
Olga and I screeched as we turned around to see... Sharlene and Carver dressed up in weird red clown outfits.
"Sharlene? Carver?" Olga asked.
"We don't know this Sharlene or Carver you speak of, BUT..." Sharlene smiled. "WE are Sharl-Dumb and Carv-Dumber! We're hilarious people who want you to laugh at us for the sake of laughing!"
"But... Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum weren't even IN the first Alice in Wonderland book." Olga pointed out. "They were only in the sequel."
"They were?" Carv-Dumber blinked.
"Are you sure?" Sharl-Dumb asked.
"Yeah, pretty sure." Olga nodded.
"Oh... crap." Both Sharl-Dumb and Carv-Dumber said as they both disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
I blinked as I said, "Did those two disappear in a cloud of smoke?"
"Let's not question Wacko-World..." Olga sighed as we kept going.
Pretty soon, we reached a house where we saw Phoebe panicking as she was flying out in a new dress.
"Hey! There she is!" I pointed out as we started to run. "Phoebe, come back!"
But Phoebe was too far away as me and Olga sighed. Olga groaned. "We're never going to catch her at this rate..."
"She's gone!" I heard somebody say.
"FINALLY!" We turned to see two weird characters, one dressed in a dodo outfit, and the other with a cat tail and cat ears on the other.
The brown spiky haired man in the dodo costume frowned as he said, "This has got to be the most ridiculous gig we have EVER done yet!"
"Come on, Danglars, we're just having a lot of fun!" The cat man said.
"I still don't get why I'm wearing this dodo outfit, Tybalt!" Danglars frowned.
"For good measure! Let's burn a house down!" Tybalt smiled as he pulled out a flamethrower.
Me and Olga just sweatdropped as we just watched Tybalt humming a song.
(To the tune of 'We'll Smoke the Blighter Out' from 'Alice in Wonderland')
(Tybalt)
Oh, I'll burn the house right down!
I'll see it go up in a frown!
Just as soon as I figure out
How to work out this little 'bout!
"Will you shut up your singing and just burn the place!" Danglars rolled his eyes.
"Fine." Tybalt frowned. "Party pooper."
Tybalt paused as he tried to activate the flamethrower... unfortunately, he aimed it at Danglars and it activated and put Danglars at fire.
"ACH! I'M ON FIRE! WHY!" Danglars screamed as he tried to drop and roll.
"Ah..." Tybalt blinked. "That was a bad idea..."
"You think?" Danglars frowned.
Tybalt shrugged as he sang, "Oh well, maybe tomorrow, I'll work this little 'bout!"
"And you'll shut up your so- HELP ME, TY!" Danglars yelled as his sleeve was on fire.
Olga blinked as Tybalt was trying to help Danglars up. "Strange set of people."
"Come on, Olga, we can't be distracted!" I said as we started to leave.
As we kept walking, I saw a familiar face conducting some flowers. I looked down as Olga did the same. Olga smiled. "Oh look, it's your other friend."
"Yeah..." I smiled as I saw Nadine, as a rose, conducting a lead of flowers in a chorus. "She seems to be dong pretty nicely here."
"Come on, let's keep going ourselves..." Olga smiled as we kept on marching, right past a beach where three people... a walking fish with Sid's face, a small dragon with Harold's face, and a steer with Stinky's face were playing cards.
"Huh... look at that. The Walking Sidfish, the Haro-gon, and the Stin-eer!" I chuckled as Olga looked.
She giggled as Olga smiled. "Well, let's keep ourselves going on..."
Pretty soon, me and Olga were leading in the middle of nowhere as Olga sighed. "Where do we go now?"
I shrugged as I looked around. "I don't know. We don't know where Phoebe went off to, so..."
"You want help on where the Phoeb-vern went?"
Olga and I jumped as I said, "Who said that?"
"Up here, idiots!"
Olga and I looked up to see a white-furred Siamese cat with black fur on his face, and purple/pink eyes. There seemed to be a black tail on him, and his ears seemed laid down. This cat seemed to have a frown on his face, and a fang sticking out of his face.
Olga blinked. "Wait... are you... the Cheshire Cat?"
"Lady, do I look like a happy cat to you?" The Siamese glared. "No, though I do acquire the same powers. I am Bucky B. Katt... also known as the Bucky Katt! And I'm here to guide you!"
I blinked as I said, "You'll help us find Phoebe- er, the Phoeb-vern?"
"No, I can't do that." Bucky frowned. "What do I look like, a GPS? I don't keep track of your fictional dragons!"
I frowned. "Then why did you offer your help!"
"Lady, I was going to tell you before that I KNEW people who may know where the Phoebe-vern went!" Bucky frowned. "Geez, listen before you talk, okay?"
"Oh... sorry, Bucky." Olga blinked. "So, where do we find the Phoeb-vern?"
"My advice? Go to the Mad Football Head, OR the March Hair! They're good friends to the Phoeb-vern. They'll help you out." Bucky frowned.
"The Mad Football Head?" I blinked... before I snapped my fingers. "Oh! He's sort of like Arnold! In fact, seeing the people we've seen so far, Arnold's the Mad Hatter! But who is the March Hair?"
"I don't know..." Olga paused as we turned to Bucky.
"Huh? Oh, right! The Bucky Katt has spoken. Away, away, be gone!" Bucky said as he laid his head down. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm trying to take my afternoon nap! Go away!"
Me and Olga frowned as we kept on going as Olga said, "This cat is pretty mean, even for a Cheshire Cat."
"I'M NOT A CHESHIRE CAT, LADY!" We heard Bucky yell.
I shook my head. "Come on, let's just find Arnold... er, the Mad Football Head. The sooner we get out of this dream, the better..."
Olga nodded as we started to head off...
And there is part one of episode eighty-six! How do you like it? There is more of the episode parody of 'Alice in Wonderland' coming up, so don't miss out! By the way, Danglars and Tybalt are two OCs that I own, while Bucky Katt is from the newspaper comic strip, 'Get Fuzzy'. Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks! And don't forget to check out and/or add to the TVTropes page!