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Chapter 10

Parting is a Gift

Even at this obscene hour of night, the village was a hive of activity. Profane amounts of gold bubbled and gurgled through its vein. An entire populous writhe with disposable income. A quaint and rural farming village had begun to attract attention from the merchant class. It seemed that a much larger village had sprung from nothingness and engulfed the old one.

It was fine. Tthey had already harvested for the winter. Free from work they could gallivant, whore and carouse, to their heart's content. Their only collapse would be when they realized that they had left their new riches on the caravans of impermanent outsiders, and by spring it would be as it once was again. This would be a golden winter, without hardship. A winter far from what a winter was in construct.

The grey-haired inu crept from the old priestess' hut. She passed through throngs of people up and about finding new ways to squander their wealth. Huddles and bundled in winter haoris, they looked curious and quite ridiculous the Shinokiri. It was safe to say that she would never fully grasp what drove this sort of behavior. Demons were more pure in this sense, their pleasure more singular and straight forward. Currency was such an inefficient and roundabout pathway to power and influence.

It was time to leave this place and all of her new acquaintances behind. Otherwise, she'd just be stranded waiting to catch a glimpse of Sesshomaru again. The more sedentary she was, the less resistance she had to her desire for his attentions. It stood to reason, if she kept moving, kept busy, these desires would be stifled.

She believed she was well enough to leave now, but had yet to be given the opportunity to actually test it. She would need to assess her own wellness before continuing on her way. Far enough from the village she stopped within a wide expansive canyon.

By only the light of the moon, Shinokiri struck a great and ancient rock face. Repeatedly. She assaulted it with her legs, over and over again. She alternated the angle, the height, the force, but she kicked it without respite. Her legs were almost back to their former functionality. It had been an imperative for her to get to this point. Each strike carved through the rock sending shrapnel flying, boring into other sections of cliff face.

Kagura. Sara. Rin.

Their names beat the time to keep pace with her savage defacement of nature. They had all received a level of care from Sesshomaru beyond that which he showed to his mate. At least, that's what she believed. Compassion. Had he ever shown her that? Perhaps when he held her close and carried her to Kaede's hut…carried her when she could not walk…was that his compassion?

He had obviously changed. Softened. Yet, she could not shake that it was Rin's influence and not her own. The human child. He had already told her he had no illicit intentions towards the girl. The transformative influence of children? Maybe, but the uncertainty of her own position in relation to Rin gnawed at her. Embarrassingly, it gnawed at her. No matter how ashamed she was of her own thought, they persisted.

She knew within herself that she meant something to the taiyoukai. They meant something to each other, but just what that was, was not at all apparent to her…or even him for that matter. He could be so cruel and cold, yet he insisted on keeping her under his power. She was his mate, but they had failed to conceive—at his command. So then what?

It is exactly as he said, I am a means of release. A comfort to his natural and primitive lust. She was just a vehicle of containment.

Shinokiri became aggravated at her own thought and violently shook them from her head. She stood back to look at the product of her work. It would have to do. She was unsure if she'd ever be as limber and nimble as she was pre-Kogane. It dawned on her just how much of herself she had given up for one family.

Inu no Taisho. Inuyasha. Sesshomaru.

They had all took precedence of her own person in some way or form. It was imperative to remedy this. No More. She had gotten to a breaking point…she would do no more…she could do no more.

For centuries. For her the bulk of her existence, Shinokiri's time nor entity was her own. Both had always been used as pawns for the benefit of others. A formidable and accomplished demon of the highest order, in her own right, she had squandered her capabilities on the whim of others.

"Your absence has not gone unnoticed Shinokiri-hime."

Myoga happily slurped at the neck of the demoness. Flicking him she sarcastically retorted "I am happy to provide the meal, flea," before flicking him off of her skin.

"As true as that is my lady, I meant only to say that the lord has been unbearably more irritable."

"Considering your blatant measures in avoiding him, I fail to see how you'd know that."

Myoga found his way back to the fur at Shinokiri's shoulders. "I have heard many whispers and I can see no reason to think to the contrary."

Shinokiri made no attempt at a response, and having silently waited for one longer than is customary, Myoga continued.

"I imagine you are coming from young Master Inuyasha's side. I am headed to him myself. Have you made any progress in your final task for our great fallen ruler?"

"Leave me to my task"

She flicked him off of her once again and continued her trek.

Finding the Oto no Joka Kabe had preoccupied decades upon decades of time. Its host had proved to be exceedingly elusive and Shinokiri considered each moment in ignorance a failure.

Bouncing back from the young hanyou to her quest was exacerbating and only gave her a sense that she was remiss in both tasks. She had to choose. Eventually she knew that she would have to forget about keeping tabs on the half-breed. He was stymying her progress and Inu no Taisho had never asked her to keep him under her watch for this long. No. It was her own concern that kept her returning to him.

He was much older than she was when she was left defenseless and alone. She had faith that he would be fine…on the cusp of adolescence, he should be fine. Soon. Soon she would break away and devote herself entirely to her last cause.

By this time she had gone quite a distance, and she would need to cross through her mate's territory. She tensed in preparation. He always managed to slow her down.

"Sesshomaru-sama."

She could smell him approaching and spoke loud enough as to be in his ear-shot.

"I can smell the bastard half-breed on you."

She turned to meet his sight line. "Are you surprised?"

"You have been shirking your responsibilities." His eyes narrowed at her accusatorially as he continued toward her.

"You always seem to find me when you need them performed," she said in genuine good humor. Earnestly she surrendered to his embrace as he closed in on her, backing her up to a tree.

"It's not enough." At that he earnestly and gently brushed his lips against hers, exploring her with his hands. It had, however, been enough for her. Each time she saw him was bittersweet, a reminder that she was not yet a mother; that she could have been a mother; that this was all in his control. She made a weak start at brushing him off.

"I'm too busy for this."

Sesshomaru became incensed at the very idea and slammed her back against the tree.

"I thought the goal was to overcome this particular weakness, my lord."

"Silence."

He firmly pressed his hand to her neck igniting an aroused gasp from her. She would submit to him. She always did. This statue of male perfection melted everything of the resolve she worked up within her. Though their current willingness was unequal, when in each other's presence their carnal weaknesses became matched. All discord would be forgotten.

Like a starving man put before a feast, though Shinokiri grew accustomed to the balmy hollow ache of being away from Sesshomaru, once her eyes lay upon him she was smitten and defeated. No fire of conviction could withstand the magnetism of her apetite for her mate.

His persistence spoke to his weakness for the flesh, and her acceptance spoke to her weakness for him. Always him. Only him. The insinuation was that her lack of replicability was incumbent on how untenable it was to replace her. He, on the other hand, could not be replaced. For reasons both political and emotional, she needed him specifically.

She needed him for status, yes. And yet, she yearned for him and him alone. And yet again, was it not his power and status that held her attraction to him true? The two were intermingled. There was no one else like Lord Sesshomaru, and so no one else would do.

It was a strange and slight alteration to her relationship with the great Inu no Taisho, however that slight alteration made big strides in the difference of the nature of those relationships. She was enamored with Sesshomaru by virtue of his connection to Inu no Taisho. It was Inu no Taisho's power and status that had ultimately won her great admiration and loyalty.

And as such, the same could be said for her relationship with Inuyasha. She would have had no semblance of inclination towards him had it not been for his bloodline. Yet, from that Inuyasha was the closest thing to a child she had ever known.

It was lineage and prestige that kept up these bonds. Compassion served only as a thin and frail thread connecting these relationships. It made shimmering appearances but was quickly lost sight of. Emotions were such a brittle and unreliable thing.

"You gonna bail now?"

Inuyasha's gruff voice pierced the silence.

"Yes."

The hanyou scoffed, "Of course, typical."

Shinokiri turned to face him and arched an eyebrow.

"That's how you operate. You always do this…it's not like I'm surprised or anything."

He crossed his arms over his chest and continued, "Not like you'd say goodbye to anyone or anything like that."

"They barely know me."

"Rin looks up to you, ya'know?"

"She has others for that sort of thing." Shinokiri sighed looking at the obviously upset Inuyasha and tried to explain.

"I need to leave…for me. For once, I need to do something for me."

Inuyasha acquiesced to this. He could not refute her on that point, and he knew it. No matter how personally neglected he had felt in his life because of her, he could not in good conscience make the argument that she had ever done so for selfish reasons. Stupid reasons, yes, but not selfish ones.

His shoulders relaxed and he let her get close to him. She touched her forehead to his and took a deep breath, trying to capture the scent from his silver locks. It brought back to his mind all of the times she had held him close to soothe him, or just to get him through a restless night. All of those disjointed visits had added up to a lifetime together over the course of a century. She had nurtured him longer than any other creature…even if it was in her own elusive and limited way. She had done the best by him that she could. He knew this.

"I am forever grateful to the kindness you've shown me. You and all of your companions. It is a credit to you that they accepted my so easily. Let them know I wish them well"

"Whatever. Everyone got rich off you and that snake anyway. " Inuyasha grunting, broke from her and turned his head away as a sign of compliance.

With that and a small sad smile she disappeared into the night.