Well, we are at the hundredth chapter... but NOT at the hundredth episode yet... but we're getting close. Anyway... after thinking about this, I have decided on 'The Pig War'. Why this episode in particular? Oh ho... ho boy, will you know the reason, EXACTLY! Anyway, enjoy!

Another Saturday, another day of enjoyment. Olga had just called us in for a brand new meeting of NO PEOPLE, which, of course, me, Nadine, Phoebe and Sheena happily obliged to. Even though me, Nadine and Phoebe don't hang around Sheena all that much, she is still a bit of interesting company to have.

...Maybe I should introduce Lila to our NO PEOPLE meetings sometime. After all, kids have their own rites of passage to enter.

Pretty soon, we were over at Olga's place, in her room, as Olga locked the doors and coughed as we sat down. Pretty much most of the club people were here, me, Nadine, Phoebe, Sheena, Sharlene, and Olga's friends from her community college Carver and Jackie. Jackie decided not to bring her kid brother this time around, and Olga's other friend George and Vecipia were also gone.

As Olga took her position at the top, all of us clad in our white 'NO PEOPLE' shirts, Olga nodded as she banged the gavel. "Okay, mom's doing her community service, dad's watching a game. Let's do this. The secret society of NO PEOPLE, the National Organization of People's Earnesty Over People's Love for Engorgement, will now come to order."

We all nodded as we looked up towards Olga. "Now, before we get to the main topic of this meeting, which happens to be 'No Animals Shall Be Harmed', you'll see why in a minute, Brother Carver will read the minutes of our last meeting."

Carver coughed as Sharlene groaned. "Olga, he's just going to do that stupid '8:01, 8:02' joke again!"

"No I won't!" Carver rolled his eyes. "And it's not stupid!"

Carver coughed. "The minutes are as follows. 8:01..."

Carver then put a huge smile on his face. "...8:02, 8:03, 8:04!"

Everyone glared, nobody was laughing at that joke anymore.

"Carver, please be serious." Olga frowned as Carver sighed.

"Fine." Carver frowned. "The meeting was called to order at 1:00. We discussed the pros and cons of meat eaters versus vegans. At 1:15, we voted on whether or not fish and chips are considered meat or vegetation."

Carver went back to sit down... before going back. "Sorry, that was meant to be written as 'vegetarian'."

Carver then sat down.

"All right..." Olga sighed. "Now, do you remember the original reason we started this club in the first place?"

I raised my hand. "I believe I do. We formed this club so we can stop the madness that is known as the Hillwood City Eating Contest, which was met with mixed results."

Olga smiled. "Very good, Sister Rhonda."

I smiled a little bit. For some reason, I felt a bit warm whenever Olga referred to me as 'Sister Rhonda'.

Olga nodded. "Indeed, we have formed this club specifically to stop that eating contest, and while I can say that wasn't a good success, it was the start of something between ourselves. But, we are facing a dilemma that is perfect for our little club! This club is to stand for what is right!"

Phoebe raised her hand as Olga asked, "Er, yes, Sister Phoebe?"

"What exactly are we doing?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh, of course, how silly of me. I didn't mention what the main problem is. Like I said, 'No Animals Shall Be Harmed'. And you know what animal I'm referring to?" Olga asked.

We all shook our heads.

"Oh, to you, it may not be just any animal... but this particular animal has been used in war reenactments so much, murdered, killed and eaten by the people in the war reenactments. Slaughtered, bleeding through the guts..."

Sheena and Nadine were nervously shaking as Phoebe groaned, "Will you please get to the point, Sister Olga?"

"Gladly." Olga nodded. "Girls, ladies, Carver, I present to you..."

Olga then pulled out a picture of a pig. "The pig."

We all raised eyebrows in confusion as Sharlene asked, "A pig?"

"Yes..." Olga nodded. "As you all already know, the Pig War is being reenacted on Elk Island."

"Elk Island?" I whispered to Nadine and Phoebe. "Hey, isn't that where that abandoned amusement park was?"

"The one where we found that counterfeit penny operation?" Phoebe asked. "I believe so."

I raised my hand as Olga acknowledged it. "Yes, Sister Rhonda?"

"Why would people have a war reenactment at a place where there used to be an abandoned amusement park back in the fifties?" I asked.

"Ah, so you've heard of the whole Wheezing Ed or whatever it was story." Olga smiled. "Well, believe it or not, back in the early 1860s, Elk Island used to be pretty inhabited by people. Americans and British people had this treaty back then, to split the island equally amongst themselves. Well, on one particular day, a pig that happened to belong to the British people got shot by an American farmer because that pig was eating crops. That didn't go well with the British and so the Americans and British had a little squabble."

"Story of my freaking life." Sharlene muttered to herself. I didn't quite know what that meant, but I didn't bother asking it further.

"There were no casualities, except for the death of one pig, but in the end, they did manage to make peace. But they were a little edgy and continued going against each other until 1872, in which case, the Americans won." Olga explained. "I'm afraid that's all I have to say, but the Pig War on Elk Island was that famous that they continue to use it in reenactments... killing innocent pigs that did nothing to harm anyone! That is why I called this meeting. Every year, a pig gets killed just for a war reenactment, and it does nothing wrong to deserve the death! Well, it's time we put a stop to all this! NO PEOPLE will rescue this pig, and we will make sure to stop this foolish reenactment!"

Me, Nadine and Phoebe raised our eyebrows as we looked at each other in concern. Before either of us could raise our hands, Jackie did it for us.

"Yes, Comrade Jackie?" Olga asked.

"Isn't this sort of illegal?" Jackie asked. "I mean, I know the eating contest was our beginning... but what makes you think we won't be suffering the consequences and all of us end up in jail?"

"I know there are... issues..." Olga sighed. "But, if we put our heads together, we can work out a plan! Now, has anybody been to Elk Island before, or at least set foot on it? If so, what do you know about this place?"

Me, Nadine, Phoebe and Sheena nodded as we raised our hands.

Pretty soon, the club of NO PEOPLE were in the center of town as we rented a boat as we rowed over to Elk Island, right around where me, Phoebe, Nadine, Arnold, Gerald, Sid and Tucker went in before to find the treasure of Wheezin' Ed. "This is where we about landed. There's a cave over there that leads to the inside of the amusement park show controls. They seem to control at random times, but it's nothing harmful."

"Think we can take a look around at the cave?" Olga asked as we went over there.

"I think so." I nodded. "It's not THAT dark in there."

With that said, we all went inside as Phoebe said, "If you see anything strange, they're just props from that amusement park."

We all nodded as we kept walking around. Walking around this cave a second time... it didn't feel that bad... it didn't really feel as scary as I felt it the first time... maybe because that fake fear of Wheezin' Ed took over... man, I still remember actually having a couple run-ins with Curly dressed as Wheezin' Ed...

"I'm telling you guys, this place is cursed!" I attempted to explain to the others as I was taking the lead. "Wheezin' Ed is following us as we speak, trying to kill us, wanting us dead!"

"Really?" Tucker said in doubt. "Why don't you DESCRIBE him for us?"

"Yeah, just in case we RUN into him." I turned a bit to see Phoebe rolling her eyes, and she, along with Gerald, Nadine and Tucker seemed to be descending down to the floor. I didn't notice at first, but I turned to Arnold and Sid.

"Well, from what I've seen... he has a shady coat..." I started as I turned back to see the group (though I didn't realize it at first, but the group, aside from Arnold and Sid, weren't there and instead SOMEONE ELSE was following us). "...just like yours..." I turned over to Arnold and Sid whose eyes were widening in shock as I didn't notice their panic. "He had these glasses..." I turned again to the non existent group and one existent person right behind me. "...just like yours..." I turned back to Arnold and Sid, the former of which grabbed me and turned me around again to talk to the non existent group, who was replaced with the one person. "And he had a bit of bowl haircut... just like... yours..."

I suddenly realized what had just happened as I screamed for my life. "Arnold, Sid, let's get out of there!"

Arnold and Sid nodded as we started running down and falling towards a slide as we slid down.

Yeah, that brought me back... pretty soon, Sharlene found a nearby door as she opened it. "Oooh, not locked, ladies, girls and Carver."

We curiously went in as we saw the control room, a lot of levers and some screens. Sharlene smiled as she pushed a button on the screen, activating them, everywhere on Elk Island we could see.

"Wow..." I said in amazement. "It's a wonder we didn't see Elk Island a second time around..."

"Look... a British fortress..." Olga pointed to one of the monitors. "Outside and inside. We better take notes."

Phoebe nodded as she started noting everything in the building as Sharlene started playing around with the buttons. The buttons seemed to activate something inside the British fortress as trap doors opened up. Olga nodded. "Interesting..."

"If this map is correct..." Jackie said, examining the map. "This underground control room isn't that far from the underside of the fortress... and there seems to be trap doors everywhere somebody goes..."

Olga nodded. "Interesting... this might be useful for our rescue operation."

Olga turned to us. "Okay, NO PEOPLE, here is the plan. Rhonda, Nadine, Phoebe, Sheena, I need you four to be above ground at all times tomorrow."

"You want us to take place in the Pig War reenactment?" Nadine said nervously. "I don't know, Olga..."

"Hey, don't worry. This is so I don't get you kids in trouble. I don't want to be responsible in case this plan fails." Olga explained.

I paused... and nodded. "All right, Olga. We'll trust you."

"Okay. Sharlene, you seem to know how to work controls pretty good. You can work the trap doors so me, Carver and Jackie can pop in, get the pig out of there, and replace it with a stuffed pig!" Olga explained.

"Got it!" Sharlene smiled eagerly.

"But Olga, where are we going to find a stuffed..." Carver started before her and Jackie looked over at Carver. Carver yelped as he whispered, "Not Wilbur..."

"Carver, you're too old for that stupid toy!" Jackie frowned.

"But he's my childhood toy, I can't let him go!" Carver cried.

Olga then started doing puppy dog eyes as she said, "But Carver, think of the innocent pig that's being slaughtered. Think of how upset I'll be."

Carver then started doing puppy dog eyes of his own. "But I don't wanna give up my Wilbur."

"But your friend won't even be harmed. Once they feel the toy, they'll know right away." Olga continued with the puppy dog eyes.

Carver and Olga started staring with the puppy dog eyes... before Carver broke. "Okay, fine, I'll do it... but you owe me big, Olga!"

Olga smiled. "Don't worry, Carv... I'll be sure to give it to you."

I raised an eyebrow, wondering about Carver and Olga. I just had to ask...

As soon as the meeting was adjourned, and we were riding back with Olga on the bus, I decided to ask her, "So, Olga, you and Carver... are you like..."

"Wha-what?" Olga blushed. "Well... no! I mean... well... he's a very nice guy, but he's pretty stupid. How he's one of the top people in my community college, I'll never get, but..."

Olga paused. "Well... how do I put this? Me and Carver... we have a good friendship going. But I wouldn't want him harmed because... you know my dad."

"Yeah..." I said. "Say, Olga, does it matter which side we join for the Pig War reenactment?"

Olga shook her head. "Doesn't really matter. Just as long as you're out of the way and safe from harm in case the plan gets mucked up."

I nodded. "All right."

Olga smiled as she hugged me. "Don't worry, Rhonda, if we play our cards right, we can save the pig!"

I sighed as I said, "I hope so, Olga. I hope so."

Pretty soon, me, Nadine, Phoebe and Sheena were dropped off at Arnold's house because Arnold told us that his grandfather had a bit of a surprise for us. I raised an eyebrow in curiosity as we walked over.

"I wonder what the surprise is." I said as we knocked on the door.

"I don't know." Phoebe said. "But whatever it is, it's going to be an interesting surprise."

"What surprises that come from Arnold's place AREN'T interesting?" Nadine asked.

Pretty soon, the door opened to reveal Arnold's grandfather wearing a Revolutionary War type outfit at he smiled. "Arnold's friends, glad to see you all arrive. Come right in."

All four of us looked at each other as I whispered, "I think I know who's leading the Pig War charge."

"So, let me see if I'm gathering the right information." I said as soon as Arnold's grandfather had finished his explanation and Arnold was nearby, along with Gerald, Stinky, Sid, Harold, Curly, Eugene and Tucker. "We're all participating in a war reenactment... specifically, the Pig War."

"Yes." Arnold nodded.

"Pretty much." Gerald said as the other boys nodded.

"And you volunteered your own pet pig, Abner, to be part of this Pig War?" Nadine asked as we all looked concerned.

"I was a little reluctant at first, but Grandpa seems to think Abner is perfect for the role, so I figured, why not?" Arnold smiled. "After all, it's only a war reenactment, it's not real..."

"Of course not... nobody got physically harmed... except for the pig... in every reenactment. Ever." Phoebe said.

"Wait, what?" Arnold said in shock as the boys and Arnold's grandfather shook their heads in surprise.

"Yeah, didn't you know? People who give the pigs away for their reenactment... they kill the freaking pig." I explained. "Skin it. Cook it up. Eat it."

"Uh... you mean they pick him up and put him away safely, right?" Arnold smiled nervously. "They wouldn't ACTUALLY make us KILL..."

"Sorry, buddy. That's what I heard they do in the reenactments. We could even cite sources, if you'd like to hear them." I sighed.

Arnold groaned as he said, "Oh, great. I don't want Abner dead! He's been my pet since childhood! Grandpa, you're going to have to call the war committee and say Abner's not coming."

"Too late, I already confirmed and signed." Arnold's grandfather sighed. "Maybe I should have checked my sources before agreeing to sign up for the war reenactment."

"Oh man..." Gerald said. "Tough luck, Arnold."

Arnold groaned. "Okay, we need a way to save Abner... but where are we going to get another pig?"

Everybody paused as they started looking at Phoebe. Phoebe looked around the table as they realized people were staring at her. "Uh... what?"

"Phoebe, what do you know about inventing?" I asked.

"I tinker a little bit, but nothing too major." Phoebe said.

"Fortunately..." Curly smiled as he joined in the conversation. "I happen to be a good inventor!"

We all looked at Curly as I laughed. "Yeah, like you're going to make a robotic pig that can be used by remote control and we watch the pig's eyes through a built-in TV screen on your watch to troll the Brits while we sit down and watch them make a fool of themselves."

Curly immediately ran out the door as he said, "Wait here for a minute."

We all blinked as we were curious. What the heck was Curly doing?

A little later, as Arnold's grandfather was talking about some old strategies that the Pig War would often use, Curly had returned with... a robotic pig... with a remote control... and a built-in monitor watch on his wrist. Curly then dropped the items as he smiled. "There you go."

We all stared dumbfounded as Phoebe said, "But how did- when did-"

"I prepared this just in case I had to join in a war reenactment and nobody had a pig to use." Curly smiled.

"You're an inventor?" Nadine said in disbelief.

"I dabble a little in science, yes." Curly smiled.

"This could work... but... won't they notice the TV screen on the watch?" Arnold asked. "I'm pretty sure those weren't around in the 1860s..."

"I'll wear a long sweater and hide my devices, no big deal." Curly shrugged. "The point is, we got our pig."

"Hmmm..." Arnold's grandfather paused. "I don't know about this... but if it's to help us have another win against the Brits, it's going to be fun!"

"Why do I have a feeling we're going to be cheating a bit?" Arnold groaned.

"Would you rather have Abner be eaten?" I asked Arnold.

Arnold's eyes widened as he turned to Curly. "Let's go with Curly's idea."

"Good boy." I nodded.

Curly may be crazy, but he sure is crazy prepared... maybe a little TOO crazy prepared.

As me, Sheena, Nadine and Phoebe were leaving Arnold's house, Phoebe had a sudden point of realization. "Don't you think maybe we should tell Olga that we changed the pig into a robotic pig on our own and that she won't have to do her plan?"

"Don't worry. Even if she and NO PEOPLE do get the robotic pig, they'll probably figure it out and put it back." I said. "I'll explain it to them once they try to get the mission accomplished."

"Uh, I really think we should tell them AHEAD of time." Sheena frowned.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine." I smiled.

"Suppose one of our club members screws up the plan?" Nadine said.

"Hey, like Olga says, she can do fine." I said.

Nadine, Phoebe and Sheena just stared at me with unamused faces. I sighed. "Fine. I'll give Olga a call."

I started dialing Olga's number on my phone as I put it to my ear. I heard it ringing as I waited. Pretty soon, I got Olga's voice mail.

"Hi, this is Olga Pataki. I'm not in right now, I'm probably in my classes or hanging out with my friends... and dad, if this is you calling, I'm not hanging with a boy! Please leave your name, number, your message, and possibly the date and time, and I'll be happy to get back to you. Thank you." Olga's voice mail said before I heard the beep.

"Hi, Olga. This is Rhonda. My number is four-four-four-zero-zero-one-five, and I'm calling ahead of time to tell you two things. One, I want to know about your hair. I kind of want to style it like yours..."

"RHONDA!" Phoebe, Nadine and Sheena glared.

"Okay, okay." I said as I turned back to my phone. "The second thing is about your plan. Funny story on that. See, one of my friends happens to have a pet pig that he was planning on using for the Pig War reenactment, but thanks to me and my friends, I talked him out of using the pig. Anyway, another one of my friends... who I wouldn't really call a friend, long story... decided to bring in a robotic pig as a replacement. So, we're going to be using that instead. I'm just calling to tell you ahead of time in case you didn't know the full story. Anyway, I hope it doesn't affect the plan you had in mind, but we found an effective way. Just to let you know ahead of time on what is going on. I hope this information is useful to you, Olga. No thanks are necessary. Just be glad there's no bloodshed... but you gotta laugh at the Brits when we do what we do!"

I chuckled. "Anyway, if you get this, just to let you know, we're using a robotic pig, NOT a real one. That's about it... oh right, you want to know the date and time. It's December Seventh, 2002, and the time is two-thi-"

And the voice mail ended and hung up. I sighed. "Guess I spent too long."

"At least you managed to get the message across." Phoebe said as I hung my phone up.

"Yeah... well, let's enjoy the rest of the day." I said as we decided to rest up before the Pig War started.

The next day, it was time for the war on Elk Island as we were all dressed in different uniforms, because as Arnold's grandfather stated, wearing different sets of uniforms is what throws off the enemy, and we walked into a different part of the island than where the Brits, lead by... Rex Smythe Higgens III's father? I looked behind and... yep, there was Rex. I waved, "How you doin', Higgens?"

"Not too bad. Yourself?" Rex asked.

"Oh, never better." I said as we stood in formation with the American side.

After a few moments of banter and discussion later, it was time for the pig to be released. Curly, hearing this, smirked as he retracted his hand, where he hid the remote control. Pretty soon, the pig was released as Curly got to work, sending it out.

"Okay, now since the sport is in the chase, we will allow the pig a thirty minute headstart." Higgens' father explained as we sighed.

Curly groaned, but got his hand out of his sleeve as he decided to stop the pig on some nearby bushes.

I sighed as I looked up the clocks. I groaned. "If only we could have brought cell phones or Game Boy Advances with us... we wouldn't be bored, then."

Pretty soon, after a half-hour of waiting, we heard the horn blow as Higgens' father proclaimed, "And now, we start."

Everyone then started running as Curly retracted his hand from his sleeve as we all started to give chase, but slowed down once the British were ahead of us.

"And now... let the chase begin." Curly sighed as he lifted his sleeve as he gave the remote to me. "Keep control, I'll keep an eye on the monitor."

"This is cheating, but this is the best type of cheating." Arnold's grandfather smiled.

"Okay, cool!" I said as I started pushing some buttons and started moving some levers. "Keep me updated."

"Well, the pig seems to be moving around in circles... oh, now you're moving it in a straight line... okay, you're rounding towards a tree, turn left... okay, okay, turn around, I think I see the Brits in a far distance..." Curly said.

"Should I troll them more?" I asked.

"Keep doing what you're doing, until I say now." Curly said as I started fiddling around with the controls. "Steady... steady... okay, we fooled them long enough. Now, stop."

I nodded as I stopped with the controls. Curly nodded. "Okay, they got the pig and they're bringing it back to the fortress..."

"Where we'll be waiting for them to pull off a surprise attack!" Arnold's grandfather laughed. "Good thinking."

"Hmmm..." Arnold paused. "I don't know about this, they might notice something off about that pig..."

"What are they going to notice about it, it's a perfect replica!" Curly laughed. "Who will notice this pig is robotic?"

Pretty soon, we were waiting at the British fortress as we saw the British coming with the robotic pig... I then noticed the doors opening as the kids and the robotic pig went inside.

"Okay, they're all in... and the plan is set in motion!" Curly said as he nodded.

"Well, how do we get in to get the pig back?" Arnold asked.

"Phoebe?" I asked as Phoebe looked around.

"Hmmm... maybe if..." Phoebe looked up. "If we can just climb the walls..."

"OR... we can build a Trojan Pig, we climb inside it, then we wait until the Brits take it in, and we jump out for a surprise attack!" Arnold smiled.

We all stared at Arnold unamused as I asked, "Do you really think that'll work?"

"Well, who knows?" Arnold said. "Besides, when have I ever thought of the wrong decision?"

We all looked at each other as Nadine said, "He brings up a good point."

As me, Nadine, Sheena and Curly started pushing the Trojan Pig we built in under an hour over to the British Fortress, I looked at my watch and said, "You guys better hurry, if the Brits have the pig claimed for more than an hour and a half, they win, and history is messed up."

"We're on it." Phoebe whispered as the four of us left.

Curly chose this time to look at his watch as he frowned. "Hmmm... peculiar..."

"What?" I asked.

"Our pig isn't even in the fortress... it's being handled by... a college looking boy... doesn't he look like that one kid that's part of your older friend's group?" Curly asked.

Me, Nadine and Sheena looked at each other in shock as we exclaimed, "CARVER!"

"Didn't Olga get your message?" Nadine said in worry.

"I guess she didn't! I don't know why she didn't, but she didn't!" I said.

"We have to go back to the cave of Wheezin' Ed, fast!" Nadine said as she turned. "Curly, keep an eye on the monitor!"

"On it!" Curly said as he looked at the monitor on his watch, with me, Sheena and Nadine leaving immediately.

I sighed as I muttered, "If only I had my freaking cell phone with me... but no, no cell phones in the 1860s!"

Pretty soon, we arrived at the cave of Wheezin' Ed... a little out of breath, but we got there.

"Come on, the battle should be underway by now." I said as we all entered the cave as we walked in.

We were then at the three cave-way split as I nodded. "Sheena, you go to the left and hopefully, you'll find Olga and the others. We're going to go to the monitor room where Sharlene is!"

"Got it." Sheena said as she went to the left. Me and Nadine then started heading towards the middle until we reached the door leading to the controls.

I knocked on the door. "Sharlene! Sharlene, it's us! Rhonda and Nadine! But hopefully you knew that already!"

I paused, waiting for an answer. "Sharlene?"

I opened the door as I looked around. Sharlene wasn't there... but the monitor rooms were. But I did notice Olga's cell phone and her cell phone nearby.

Nadine sat down at the controls as she looked around. "Looks like a big battle at the fortress."

I looked up at the monitors and saw people battling at the fortress. Hmmm... nice.

"Okay, there's Arnold... he's talking with Higgens..." I said.

"Hmmmmm..." Nadine said as she looked at all the monitors. "Some of this is empty in other areas... hey, wait a minute, what's this?"

I looked towards the monitor Nadine was pointing at and noticed a log cabin, where an old woman was muttering, covering her ears. I paused. "I don't remember seeing HER here before..."

Nadine's eyes widened. "Rhonda! Do you know who that is?"

"No." I simply said.

"That's Agatha Caulfield! She was a famous author during an early time!" Nadine said. "I wonder what she's doing all the way over in Elk Island?"

"Well, whatever it is, she probably has a good reason." I said as I went back to the monitors. Pretty soon, I saw a few things on the monitor relating to the battle as I walked around... when I noticed one peculiar monitor...

An old woman who looked like she was wearing a British uniform and a little girl with an angry look and raven hair, with a Revolutionary War outfit, were seen arguing with each other... with the little girl seeming to be on the losing side. I paused. Who was that little girl? I have not seen her in our army formation... come to think of it, I haven't seen that British woman in the British side either.

"Hey, Nadine..." I turned my head to Nadine for the moment. "Do you know who-"

I turned my head back to the monitor... but the little girl and older woman were no longer there.

"Yes, Rhonda?" Nadine said, looking towards us.

I paused. "N-nothing."

I looked back towards the monitor where the little girl and older woman were once shown. I know I've seen them, I could have sworn...

I then noticed the doors opening as we turned.

"Okay Sharlene, we got the pig! Let's get out of here before any of them get wi-" Olga, Jackie and Carver came in as they all stopped. Olga then said in shock. "Rhonda? Nadine? What are you girls doing here? And where's Sharlene?"

"To answer the second question, we don't know, and to answer your first, didn't you get the message I sent you?" I asked.

"Message?" Olga said in confusion as she picked up her phone. "I haven't checked my voice mail since yesterday morning, so... no."

Olga pushed a couple of buttons as she listened. "Seems I have no new messages..."

"What?" I said in shock. "But I left you a message letting you know of the robotic pig!"

"Wait... robotic pig?" Olga said as she examined it

"You mean my Wilbur has been put in danger OVER a robotic pig!" Carver glared.

Olga chuckled nervously. "Guess we're NOT sending this to the ASPCA..."

"Actually, even if we didn't get the robotic pig, the pig we were originally volunteering was one of my friend's pets..." I said as Sheena came in, out of breath.

"Finally... I need to tell..." Sheena took a deep breath.

"It's okay... we're explaining it to Olga and her friends already." I said as we were going out of the monitor room.

"So that's what happened." I explained as we were all out of the cave.

"Oh..." Olga said. "Maybe what happened is that I gave my phone to Sharlene... she probably just thought it was my dad giving me voice mail, asking about who's the new boy I'm hanging with, he gets suspicious like that. She probably thought it was a dad message and..."

"She deleted the message." I nodded. "That's probably what happened."

"Yeah..." Olga said as she put the robotic pig down as it activated and ran off, Curly probably controlling it for fun. "You know, it's weird too. Even if you told us about your friend's pig being a pet, I would have given it back to your friend..."

"You would?" I asked.

"I think I like to say it to him as well." Olga smiled. "But first, we need to find..."

"Hey girls, hey Carver, hey Rhonda, Nadine, Sheena." Sharlene said, running up. "Sorry you guys didn't find me in the monitor room... there was no bathroom in the monitor room, and I had to find somewhere."

"You went OUTSIDE to go to the bathroom?" Jackie frowned.

Sharlene paused. "Yes?"

"Okay then..." Jackie paused.

"Anyway, Sharlene, did you delete any messages on my phone I told you to keep?" Olga asked.

"Maybe a couple. Why?" Sharlene asked.

"You deleted a potential message that could have helped us cancel the mission." Olga frowned.

"Did I do that? Oh, I'm sorry." Sharlene said.

"It's okay, Sharlene, you didn't know any better." I said.

"Well, at least NO PEOPLE accomplished their mission." Nadine smiled.

"Indeed." Olga said. "We saved a pig from being eaten! Our message for a better tomorrow has been carried on."

"Rhonda? Rhonda?" We heard Arnold and Phoebe calling.

"Oh, dammit." I heard Sharlene mutter as we turned to see Arnold and Phoebe coming in, Arnold with a stuffed pig in hand.

"WILBUR!" Carver smiled.

"This is yours, I presume?" Arnold said as he gave Carver his pig. Arnold sighed as he looked at me. "Let me guess..."

"Yes... this is another mission that I tried to cancel for NO PEOPLE to save whatever pig was being volunteered, but they went ahead with the plan anyway, because SOMEBODY deleted a potential message to my older friend." I said, rolling my eyes over to Sharlene.

Arnold sighed. "You do know this'll only get you guys in trouble..."

"Oh, and doing the robotic pig idea WASN'T?" Phoebe asked.

"What gave the stuffed pig thing away?" I asked.

"The fact that when me and Rex Smythe-Higgens III released the pig, it didn't run. THAT... and when I touched, it was fluffy and soft." Arnold sighed. "You had a second plan in case Abner was still the pig, didn't you?"

"Well... mostly thought up by me, but yes, there was a second plan." Olga sighed as she bent down to him. "Listen, you must be Arnold, right? Rhonda told me a bit about you... and I'm assuming Abner is your pig, correct?"

"That's right." Arnold nodded.

"Well... even if I didn't know your pig was a pet, I would have given it to you... you look like you could have kept it safe." Olga explained.

"Really?" Arnold asked.

"You're very bold to keep a pig for a pet... and one of the first, I might add." Olga smiled.

Arnold gave a bit of a hug as he said, "Thank you."

Olga smiled as he said, "Come on Rhonda, join in."

I shrugged as I joined in the hug...

I'm... blacking out... again? Huh?

"Why don't you mind your own business, football head!"

"I'm just trying to give you advice..."

"What advice do I possibly need! I'm FINE!"

"Why do you always react so poorly to me? All I'm just trying to do is help you."

"Don't touch me..."

"But He-"

"I said don't touch me!"

A smack was heard, followed by a clang.

"Football head?"

A pause.

"Arnold? Oh no, what have I done? Come on, Arnold, wake up, please!"

Another murmur was heard...

What the heck was that? It was like before... with Phoebe... except this time, I heard Arnold... and that other voice I just heard... that familiar voice... and from what I've heard... what happened? What was that smack and clang I heard just then? Was... Arnold in trouble?

But how could that be? He was clearly fine. What am I seeing? I can confirm for sure it was Deep Voice... just like that other flashback I heard with Phoebe... but how? Why?

"Rhonda? You okay?"

I recovered to see Olga and Arnold looking at me. I paused. "Yeah... I'm fine..."

"What a fun day, huh?" Phoebe giggled as we were all heading back.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun." I smiled. "At least we were let off pretty easy with the robotic pig thing once they discovered the truth."

"Yeah..." Nadine smiled. "But hopefully, people have learned their lessons on the pigs and the ASPCA keeping a close eye on them."

"For sure." I nodded as we were back to the shore. "And at least NO PEOPLE got off pretty easy as well."

"Yeah... wouldn't want Olga in trouble again." Phoebe said.

"Well... school tomorrow, girls. Same time?" I asked as we started walking towards the bus.

"Sure." Nadine and Phoebe nodded.

"Say, Phoebe, who was that little girl that was with the group?" I asked.

Phoebe blinked in confusion. "What little girl? It was just me, you, Nadine and Sheena."

I blinked. "Wasn't there another girl with us?"

Phoebe shook her head. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"But... she was talking a British woman on the other side, she-" I started.

"What British woman on the other side? Most of the people on the other side were mostly men. Are you sure you didn't hallucinate?" Phoebe asked.

I paused as Nadine looked at me. "You okay?"

I paused. "I guess..."

I know I saw that little girl and older woman, I know I did! Why couldn't I figure it out?

Oh well... it was a mystery for another time...

That night, I was asleep and in my dreams. I had to demand it once and for all, I had to! I knocked on the door.

"Oh, hello, Rhonda." Deep Voice asked. "I suppose you're here to talk?"

"Yeah. Just now, when I hugged Arnold and Olga, I had another one of the memories involving you! I didn't see your face, BUT I HEARD you talking with Arnold. What happened? What was that smack and clang I heard?"

"It shouldn't be any of your busi-"

"And please, no more of this mystery! No more of this 'it shouldn't be your business'! No more of this 'I'm hiding myself' bull crap! I just want to know who you are, what you look like, so I can have a better visual of you when I hear your voice!" I ranted.

For a long time, I heard nothing... and then... a sigh. "I guess I can tell you all I can tell you for now... but you've got to understand, it's not going to be the whole thing. If you find out anything related to me, just ask next time we visit. Are you prepared for this?"

I nodded. "That's all I want."

"Okay... I'm opening the door. Once you see me... you'll understand most of everything."

The door opened... for the first time, the door had finally opened... fully. I heard Deep Voice. "Step right in and take a seat."

I obeyed as I sat down at a table. I looked over at who was on the other end of the chair. I raised an eyebrow.

The figure I was staring at seemed to be female... okay, it is female. This female was blonde, with a unibrow and pigtails, with a pink bow, a pink and white dress, and on her feet, as I leaned a little closer, seemed to be white shoes.

The female figure, who I have known as Deep Voice for many months now... spoke. "Hello, Rhonda. My name... is Helga."

And there's episode ninety-six! How do you like it? And let's face it, you all saw this coming, didn't you? (pause) Did you? Well, no matter now. Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks! And don't forget to check out and/or make edits to the TVTropes page of this story!