Chapter 4
They spent the afternoon in lounge chairs out on the front lawn, the ocean set out like a famed artist's canvas before them. As Rick had promised, it was a magnificent late-spring day, the sun warm and the breeze like soft kisses on their skin. Kate closed her eyes and slept for a short time, and Rick used the respite to work on penning the dedication for his newest Nikki Heat installment. It would prove to be his most difficult to date, given the events surrounding its conception, but she was there with him, still, and that made all the difference.
She insisted upon making them dinner - over his stiff objections in a vain bid to show off his own self-proclaimed culinary prowess - and he watched utterly enraptured as she moved about his kitchen as though it was some sort of choreographed dance, a virtuoso at work in a mastery of craft. Her mother's influence and cable television, she told him with a laugh, and all he wanted was to know more.
They ate and they kissed and they watched each other with new eyes, saving moments in the vaults of their memories that they understood might never have been. That was the world in which they now lived, one thrust upon them by interlopers, and yet one they embraced so completely in its import.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" Kate asked him, her lips pressed against his back as he finished tidying up their dishes at the sink. "I think it's almost a full moon tonight."
"I'd like to do whatever you'd like to do," he told her, genuine in his sentiment.
"I like the sound of that," she purred, stepping into a voice he so often used.
His body responded instantly to her timbre, but he breathed through it and came out the other side. "We can take the path down to the overlook. When it's clear, you can see all the way down the beach." He turned off the water and patted his hands dry, rotated to face her. Her eyes were wet with tears that hadn't yet fallen, and focused on him. "Hey, what's this? What's wrong?" he asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
"Nothing's wrong, Castle. It's all just been a lot in a short amount of time," she said.
"Too much?" He slid his hand down her arm and took her hand. "Look, Kate, I don't want to make you feel any pressure or overwhelm you after everything you've been through. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to do anything. I meant what I told you. I'm not going anywhere, so whatever you need or don't need, I understand."
Kate pushed up onto her toes and kissed him softly. "It feels like I've been holding onto this for so long. I guess the reality of it being free is still a bit strange. Thank you for saying what you did. What I need is you, God help me," she snickered.
"How about we go for that walk now, huh? The sarcasm's getting a bit thick in here," Rick replied with feigned indignation, stepping away briefly to grab a blanket for her.
They wandered down to the overlook, hand in hand, the night sky, absent the obstruction of the city's buildings and lights, seemingly endless above them. He'd been there hundreds of times before, both alone and in the company of others, but it'd never felt as it did in those hours with Kate, her presence everything he never knew was missing from a place he already loved so much.
"Will you be honest with me if I ask you something?" Rick said as they watched the gentle waves roll in and out.
"I'll try," Kate replied as earnestly as she could, given the vague nature of his question.
He grabbed the ends of the blanket he'd wrapped around her shoulders and tucked them up beneath her chin. "Are you scared, Kate? Of the people that did this to you. And I know you'll want to tell me you're not. I know that because I know how you are and how you always try to be. But I want you to tell me the truth."
"Yes," she answered without hesitation or thought. "And I haven't figured out how to be with that yet, not because I live in some fantasy where I think I'm invincible, but because the thought of something happening to me before I can get answers for my mom terrifies me. I need those answers for her, Castle."
"I know you do," he said, hugging her into his body. "And I'm scared, too. No matter how much I might want it, I know I can't be with you every minute of every day, and I can't protect you from everything, and I hate that. That scares me, me without you."
Kate pulled back, traced her thumb across the curve of his lips. "My hero," she spoke reverently.
"A writer can dream."
She reached down and took his hand. "You are, you know. Walk me home and I'll show you."
xxxx
Rick ran a bath for her when they got back to the house, and left her to enjoy it and the quiet while he closed everything up and finished cleaning downstairs. He made a call to Alexis to say goodnight and emailed himself a note about the book dedication that'd come to him out on their walk. He knew now what it was he needed to say. Kate had left the blanket she'd carried outside along the back of the couch and he picked it up to fold it, the scent of her permeating the air around him. It still seemed surreal, that something so extraordinary could rise from the ashes of something so monstrous, but she was upstairs waiting for him and that was his stunning reality.
"There you are," Kate said, opening the bathroom door to find him stretched out on the bed. "I thought you might come keep me company."
"Well, I figured you could probably use a break from this mug of mine, so I thought I'd gift you some peace, but I'm back on the job now, so come over here and get comfortable. I'll even scratch your back until you fall asleep if you want me to. My mother used to do that when I was a kid and it always worked like a charm," he said, pulling back the comforter and sheets for her.
She wore a long t-shirt, his, because she'd forgotten to pack something of her own, and her hair was pulled loosely away from her face, strands of it tickling at the skin of her neck. He could smell the lavender on her from across the room, the very same she'd left imprinted on the fabric of his blanket, and even from a distance he felt its effects. "Or maybe you needed a break from the patient. It's okay, Castle, I can take it," she said, making her way towards the empty side of the bed and climbing beneath the sheets.
"You've clearly spent too much time around me, Detective. You're starting to say foolish things."
"Maybe my doctors can take a look at that when we get back to the city." She rolled her body onto her stomach and settled the pillow beneath her. "Now, I believe you said something about back scratching? Demonstration, please."
"We're a funny pair, you and I," Rick said, adjusting his position to better his access. "I'm…Do you…" he stammered, staring down at her shirt. "The full effect of the demonstration might be better achieved on bare skin, but I don't want to-"
"Go ahead, Castle," she told him, swallowing a smile.
He glided the fabric slowly upward until her back was fully exposed, and then, much to his surprise, she tugged it the rest of the way and dropped it onto her pillow. He'd only seen that much of her skin on a couple of occasions, but under no circumstances as intimate as those. It was as soft as silk; he could already feel it with his eyes as he took in the tiny freckles that adorned it, and its scent was positively intoxicating.
"Castle?" she asked, expecting something that hadn't yet come. "Everything okay back there?"
Rick cleared his throat nervously like he'd been caught at something, which, in a real way, he had. "Yeah, I'm just, yeah, here we go." He began in slow lines, up and down the length of her with his fingertips. He felt her delicately arch into his touch as he moved, the manifestation of her enjoyment inadvertent but clear. He altered his path after a few moments, moving instead in lazy circles and curlicues across her spine and along her neck, and he found himself awed by the closeness, the certainty in their connection.
"I want to show you." Kate's gentle voice came out of the hush and pulled Rick back in. "I want to show you, Castle."
He knew. Without her saying another word, he knew. She began to shift, and he helped turn her until she was on her back, her body exposed for him to see. It was devastating in its savagery, the colors and textures telling a tale no one would ever want to hear. She watched him as his eyes journeyed the path evil had traveled that day and the signatures of heroism that followed. A tear formed and he let it fall, watching as it trailed along the curve of her breast and disappear into the sheets, reminded of her cheek and the grass and the fear.
"You're beautiful," he said around the lump in his throat. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I will never let them hurt you again."
"Rick," she whispered, their pain shared but not victorious.
He leaned over her, touched the intersection of her scars with his lips. "I love you," he said, his breath warm and welcome against her skin.
"I love you, too," she replied.
End