A few days early, I"m going to be crazy busy at work.

I really hope people like this one. It sort of wrote itself, but it's a lot more talking than I usually do. This one is mostly dialogue.

Chapter Eighteen

Iris slowly made her way through the beautiful gardens, running a hand along the leaves of the vegetation growing around her. It was hard not to enjoy the beauty of the land they were staying in; in many ways it reminded her of home and yet at the same time it was so different. Only a few of the plants she recognized, the rest, she could only guess at. If she could get away from the darrow for more than a few minutes, she'd slip off to the library to at least get a book on herbs.

Speaking of which, she could see one of them coming towards her from the other direction. She could understand why Bifur was there, just not how he always seemed to find her. Although Thorin had ordered that none of them wander off alone in here, she wanted a little time to herself.

Sighing to herself, she nodded to Bifur and wandered over to a nearby bench to take a seat. It didn't take long for him to find her and sit down next to her. "You know you don't have to follow me right? Nothing's going to happen to me here."

He just grunted, and patted her knee, saying something that she doesn't understand. "I know he doesn't want me going off on my own, but really! My mother spent over a year here before she continued on her own adventures." He chuckled.

Glancing over at him, she noticed his grin, "Something tells me that you knew that already." He patted her knee again and nodded.

"When did you figure it out?" There really wasn't any need to beat around the bush, she'd been trying to figure out how to tell them since they'd arrived in this haven. He just gave her a large grin and gestured over his shoulder, making her wish she understood their language, instead of having to play pantomime every time they spoke.

"From the very beginning?" He shook his head, "the Trolls" He grunted this time, and shook his head again. "Before then?" She took a moment to think about it, "That night, on the cliff!" He grinned again and patted her knee, all the while grumbling something in Khazudul.

"I really need to learn your language, or at least your sings. It doesn't do either of us any good if I can't communicate with my uncle." She grinned right back at him and welcomed his hug.

Sighing, "If you figured it out, why on earth hasn't he?" Bifur grunted and covered her eyes with one hand for a moment.

"Being purposefully blind? Well, that explains a lot." She sighed again, "I'm trying to get up the guts to tell him the truth." She flinched a bit under his look, "I just wanted to get to know you all before I was tossed away." She held up her hand to forestall his denial, "I know he won't now, but he really hurt mom when he didn't come for her all those years ago. And you honestly can't look me in the eye and tell me that you all didn't think I was just a bit useless in the beginning, nor that some of our lovely companions don't still think the same of me. I may not understand what they're saying, but I'm not stupid. Oakenshield doesn't hide his animosity very well."

Bifur nodded and then shrugged, there really wasn't anything he could do to deny how they'd treated her in the beginning.

"Do you know why he didn't come for her Bifur? She waited until the very end for him." Iris was really trying not to let her emotions get to her, it wasn't something that could be changed now.

Bifur shrugged again and motioned to her, "I know, I know, he didn't know about me, but from all of mom and papa's stories, he really loved her." Bifur gave her a pointed look when she said 'papa'.

She sighed, "You don't know what it's like there Bifur. Propriety, being perfect all the time, giving no one any reason to believe you're anything but what they want to see you as. Papa's heart wasn't mom. But he wasn't allowed to be with him. You know how it is with the humans right?" Bifur nodded, "Well, at times it almost seems worse with us. I mean, a blind eye is given when you appear to be living properly, but if you do anything wrong, well, it's dangerous. You do not want to be deemed a disturber of the peace. It's all be a death sentence in the Shire." She wrung her hands, only stopping when her uncle reached out and took both of them in one of his large ones, "Papa was what we would call a confirmed batchler. Everyone knew, but no one said anything."

She looked up at him, and then back down at there combined hands, "Other than his heart, Mama was Papa's best friend and the only one who knew about his heart." Looking up again, "You know mama came back to look after grandma right?" She frowned when Bifur shook his head no, "Well, mama received an urgent massager, one of the Rangers, sent by The Old Took, my her father. Grandmother had taken very ill after the birth of their final son and they didn't think she'd live, so he called her home. As it was, the message almost got to her too late, as they'd first came here and only because mama hand passed on her plans to Glorfindel, did they know where to find her. I know mama left Bofur a letter explaining what she could and telling him that she'd be back, but she had to rush away."

She gripped his hand and squeezed, "It took her almost two weeks to get back to the Shire, as you know it can be a bit of a journey and with it being in the middle of the winter, it wasn't exactly safe. By the time she got there, grandmother wasn't doing well and she couldn't leave what could possibly be her last time seeing her mother. Thankfully she had friends she could spend time with though, and Papa; Bungo Baggins; was there for her. Within a few weeks of being home, mama discovered she was pregnant, with me. She was torn, if she stayed, she would have to get married to some hobbit, it's the law you know, that a child can't be born with out both parents." She sighed again and let go of his hands, placing them flat on her legs, while continuing to talk, "Papa offered to be there for her, to put on a show, so that her reputation wouldn't become stained. So that they could both get what they needed to be safe and when my father came, we'd go adventuring again. They never shared a room, and papa's heart visited almost everyday. It was safe for them to be together with mama there. No one would second guess their spending time together, because one of them was married, so nothing untoward must be going on." Clenching her fists, "I grew up on stories about the Ur family, and about darrow in question. About how some day my father would come swooping in and take us away to far away places and show me things that I could only dream about."

Her voice cracked as she tried to hold back the tears that were vying to escape, "She waited for him Bifur. She waited every day for her heart to come back to her. I was too little to make that kind of journey and mama wouldn't leave me behind, but she needed him. When that evil Fell Winter hit, it was too much for her. She just wasn't strong enough without her heart there to ground her to get better when the sickness hit. We lost her just a few short months after my 15th year. No one knew other than Papa and his heart that I was anything but his daughter, so papa raised me, until he passed just before my coming of age." Here Bifur grunted, "We'd made plans you know, that's why I had all the gear in storage. We were supposed to go find you after my thirty-third birthday. My Papa, who raised me as his own child, was going to help me find my father because that's what my mother had always wanted." He grunted again and tugged at her hand, "why didn't we?" He nodded. "Papa died."

It was so difficult to get all this out, but it had to be said. She needed to let someone know before it weighed her soul down completely and she knew she'd have to go through this at least one more time. Hopefully when she spoke with Bofur, she'd do better than this, "It was unexpected, both papa and his heart died within hours of each other, leaving me all alone. Making me the head of a family I wasn't truly apart of, but trained most of my life to run. As it was, I had to fight to keep my home and my standing because I'm a woman. Thankfully, my grandfather stepped in and reminded them that papa built our Smail for my mother, so it wasn't property of the Baggins clan to control. And, since my father's will stated that I was to take control, as I was the one who'd been trained to do so, it all fell on my shoulders." She bit her lip, "During that time, well, I was angry. So very angry at everything. HE'D never came for either of us and Papa stood by our sides from day one. Papa believed in me and trusted that I could take care of the family line. I decided that I didn't care if I ever met the dwarf that broke my mama's heart. That I would live only as a Hobbit should, and I put away everything that reminded me that I was anything but."

She wasn't expecting the tight hug that she was engulfed in, her hands flying up to clutch at his back as those traitorous tears fell onto a strong shoulder. Words she didn't understand being murmured into her ear. "I don't hate him, I really don't." She muttered, "I want him as a dad, but why didn't he come for us?" She knew she'd never get the answer from Bifur, if ever, but for the first time in over seventeen years, she felt safe.

One family member down... now for the other two... soon.

Next Chapter: More Rivendell