Chapter 11

Matrinails 29

Outside Lothering

Dear Falon,

We had made it to Lothering today. We arrived at noon, as Morrigan had said. And without much trouble too. My chest immensely hurt form my injuries but I did my best to ignore them. Alistair was quiet most of the way. Morrigan took his silence as a chance to pester him all the way to Lothering, all the while Alistair did nothing about it. My heart clenched as he just took it, but I have come to the realization that me "saying" anything to Morrigan would result in her laughing at me and setting me on fire. Not necessarily in that order.

In Lothering we were met with by a small group of highwaymen, instantly taking Alistair as our "leader". The leader of the group told us we could pass by paying their "toll," but I refused. It wasn't like we had much, only what I had kept in my bag before leaving home and what we had picked on whatever dead we passed on the way here (I did not relish in the thought of robbing the dead, but Morrigan had points in mentioning our hunger and costs of equipment, believe me, Falon).

When we refused the leader sent his three men to attack us. I have to say, fighting beside a mage, like I had in the tower, is so amazing, Falon! She paralyzed one of the highwaymen the set him aflame. Though it was not a pretty sight, I am surely glad she is on our side. Alistair bashed his shield in the second to make him stumble before cutting him down. I just barely dodged an attack by the third, but while his hand was thrusted forward to stab me I grabbed it and pulled him forward, stabbing him in the stomach as I did so.

When the leader saw that all three were dead he panicked, dropping his weapons in fear. I suppose none of the poor, innocent souls who passed through ever fought back. I wasn't really sure why, but the look of fear on his face made me glad. "What goes around, comes around," I suppose. I told the man, through the use of Alistair translating again, to hand over what he had stolen from people and he readily agreed. He handed over about a hundred silvers and gestured to the crates behind him, staying that was all they took. I looked at him in disgust and told him to leave. Morrigan scoffed beside me while the highwayman looked surprised, as if that was the last thing he expected to hear, which I suppose it was. Suddenly he was crying out "thank you's" and "the blight take this town" before taking off. Alistair added that if he ever came back he would kill him. The tone of his voice made me shiver, but I did my best not to let it show.

Alistair calmed after he ran turning towards the entrance to Lothering.

"Here it is. Lothering. Pretty as a painting." I smiled as he seemed to lighten a bit, but lost it when Morrigan chimes in.

"So you have finally decided to rejoin us, have you? Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble, I take it."

"Is my being upset so hard for you to understand? Have you never lost someone important to you? Just what would you do if your mother died?"

"Before or after I stopped laughing?"

"Right very creepy, forget I asked." I tapped his shoulder to gain his attention, giving a quick 'stop it' glance at Morrigan, and gestured for him to continue. "Right, sorry. I was wondering what we were planning on doing now." I thought about it for a moment, though nothing came to mind. I honestly don't know what to do. Alistair tells me we need to gain the aid from the treaties and I simply agree, as I do not know what else to say. I finally settle with suggesting we get through the town first.

We headed into the town, to which we were met with a Templar telling us there were no more room for us. And from what I saw, I understood what he meant. Refuges were scattered everywhere and they all looked so scared, Falon. I managed to convince a few later on to try and leave. I hope these people find the hope they are looking for, if they are even doing so.

We had gone into a tavern later on to try for news only to find a group of Loghains' men there. I suppose they wanted to kill us and were about to but this woman, a lay sister of the chantry, came up to them and tried to get them to leave us alone. But they refused and a battle ensued, the lay sister fighting along with us with a sword. We ended up winning the fight, obviously, with only two of his men dead. I have to say, for soldiers of a tyern, they were quiet easy to beat. We were ready to kill them, but the sister stopped us. I was concerned about letting some of Loghains' men live, less the reveal two Grey Wardens living and where we were last seen, but I agreed.

Alistair, using the same voice he used on the highwayman, told the man to leave, pulling him to his feet all the while and shoving his towards the door. His voice sent more chills down my spine. Everyone else in the tavern went back to talking and eating or drinking. When the men left, the others carrying off the dead, the girl turned to face us.

The sister introduced herself as Leliana, then telling us she was from Orlais. She then proceeds to tell me that she wants to come with me, which I was confused about. She, hesitantly and embarrassed, explained that she'd had a "vision from the maker" that she needed to help us end the blight. Morrigan scoffed behind me, to which Leliana's blush reddened. I am hesitant to answer. Her story sounds a bit crazy, but she seems nice and genuinely believes what she saw. Plus, she wants to help and isn't one of the people who believes the Grey Wardens killed the king. I nod and hold out my hand to shake hers.

"So she's coming with us?" Alistair asks. I nod and I heard him whisper "more crazy? I thought we were all full up." If Leliana heard him, she made no notice of it. Since Leliana knew the town, I had Alistair ask where the best place to get supplies was. She kind of huffed, adding a roll to her eyes before stating the only person who really had supplies was a man who'd bought the stuff from the people her a few days before cheaply and is now selling them at expensive prices. So no luck there. Leliana had her own supplies with her, which included leather armor, a dagger to go with the sword, and a bow with a quiver of arrows.

We bought what little food the tavern still had before leaving. Leliana suggested we go to the chanter's board to see work we could do to get money. The chanter's board included us killing wolves, bandits, and giant spiders, and also finding the body of a woman. I had remembered hearing a little boy shouting for his mother before heading out, so, while Leliana got supplies with Morrigan (which actually turned out okay with no one dead or turned into a frog) I dragged Alistair over to the little boy and had him translate for me while crouching down at eye level for the boy.

The young one told me he didn't know where he father or mother were, and I felt pain in my chest as I come to the conclusion they both might be dead. I gave the young one a few coins to get something to eat then told him to stay in the chantry until someone came to get him. The little gleamed with hope and happiness and ran over to me and hugged me. Tears welded in my eyes and I remembered Oren, how this little boy looked just like him, but younger. When they boy let go he asked why I made weird movements with my hands. I explained to him that I was mute (or, unable to speak as I explained to him) and the movements were called "sign" and it was my way of talking, and Alistair knew what I was saying and could tell people what I was saying. He seemed in awe of this, and I think wanted to ask me more questions but, as I saw Leliana and Morrigan returning, I sent the little boy off and we continued on. Though the thoughts of the meeting with the boy did not leave me.

Before we went on to complete the "quests" we found a man in a cage. A very tall, muscular, stoic, creepy man. With the explanation from Leliana I found he is a Qunari. Sten was his name. Sten of the Barassad . . . odd. He said he was imprisoned because he murdered an entire family and was in the cage for about a month to die from either darkspawn, or starvation. I was horrified at this man, this murderer. But then Morrigan spoke up, saying that we should bring this man along. When I questioned her, appalled, she simply stated "you are a Grey Warden, are you not? And this is a Blight. And I specifically recall you saying "we could use all the help we can get." I bit my lip at this. She had a point, we did need help and a lot of people were against us, so I turned back to the man and asked if he would like to come with us rather than die.

When he questioned me, I repeated what Morrigan had said, then added that if he felt guilt or remorse for his crime he could find atonement in helping us save people. Alistair was a bit concerned with allowing him to come along, but complied. I swiftly picked the lock to his cage (A skill my father wanted me to learn, so don't be mad). Once he was out I allowed him what little armor we've scrapped off the dead and a dagger, as I had nothing else. I wanted to buy him a great sword, after he told me that's what he mostly used, but I told him that this will have to suffice for now.

As we went to find the bandits that chanter's board asked someone to take care of we found a qunari amongst their ranks that had a great sword. When we felled them, which I noticed Sten and Leliana were an excellent addition to the group, Sten used the qunari bandit's armor and great sword. When he tried to give me the dagger back I refused and told him to keep it in his belt. I'm not too sure about anything anymore so having more protection helps. When we completed all of the jobs on the board we gained a new sword, Othkeeper, which I allowed Leliana to have.

Once we made sure we had an efficient amount of coin, helped as many people as we were able, and gathered a good amount of supplies (sleeping mats not included sadly) we started to head out to the main road to leave Lothering. We ran into more darkspawn on the road, which were attacking two dwarves. Since there were only a few darkspawn and six of us they went down quickly.

One dwarf introduced himself as Bodahn Feddic and his son Sandle and they were traveling merchants. He asked to tag along, but at "Grey Warden" I assume he knew that there'd be more excitement on our part. So we went on.

We made camp a ways away from the village, thank the Maker. Having antisocial-ness was something mother tried to get me out of. Don't get me wrong, I loved my family . . . I just hate being around people all the time, mostly due to my muteness. Mother said it was just being a young adult, but I've been like this since I was a child. It's like being around people is like being in a tight space to a person who's claustrophobic.

I believe Leliana is beginning to grow on me. She told me, over making dinner, that she was a traveling minstrel and shared with me a few of her tales. I was enthralled in them. Of course, I had heard the stories before, but she seems better at telling them than when I read them. I began teaching her some of my sign language, which she seemed eager to learn. It was nice to teach it to someone. Everyone else assumed I just couldn't speak and make the conversation one sided without bothering to even try (nearly all of my suitors) so this was a nice change.

I decided to take first watch so I had time to tell you all this. Now that our journey has truly begun I must say the one thing I do not dare say in front of the others: I. Am. Terrified. Terrified that I will make a bad choice. Terrified people do not follow. Terrified I will lead my companions to death. But most importantly, I am terrified of failure. Father always said we will always fail, and that is how we learn. Only here, if I fail I doom all of Ferelden, and possible the world.

But think! I have failed Fergus. I have fail Oriana and Oren. I have failed father and mother, Gilmore, everyone in Highever, the king, Duncan . . . how many more people will I fail, dear Falon. How many will it take before I truly fail myself?

Yours, Vercy.