At once her body turned hot, as though someone had lit a match at her feet and the flames had travelled through her body to her head. And then she began to shiver. How was it possible to feel hot and cold at the same time?
The feeling soon passed, replaced with feelings of hopelessness and loneliness as she opened the door to her room and went inside. Her room was vastly different from that of her little brother's, with its cream colored walls, posters of cats and movie stars and the soft curtains that blew in the breeze when she opened the window.
If only Sandy could have seen her room.
On the floor, peeking out from underneath her bed, she saw it. Her body was trembling as she glanced at the faux blue and yellow leather bound yearbook, emblazoned with the words "Dewey High School" across the front. It took every ounce of strength that she had inside of her to reach down and pick it up. Slowly she opened the book and began to flip through the pages. But when she came to the page with his picture, the page she'd looked at a hundred times before, her heart clinched in her chest. Next to his picture, he'd written:
To Carol, a great person that I hope to get to know a LOT better; Love Sandy.
The tears began anew, but when they splashed onto the slick page, she gasped in horror. The yearbook picture was the only picture of him she had and the salt from her tears was sure to ruin it. She knew that she'd never forget his face, but even so….
It only took seconds to grab a Kleenex and gently blot the tears from the page. But that small, insignificant effort did little to soothe her broken heart.
Overcome with grief once more, Carol curled up on her bed and sobbed into her pillow. But it didn't help and in fact, only made her feel worse. How was she supposed to get through Sandy's death without someone to talk to? As it was, she had no one, absolutely no one.
In the room down the hall, she could hear Ben yelling in triumph. Most likely his stupid race car had won the race; a thought made even worse by the fact that virtual car crashes were just that; virtual and he'd come out of it unscathed. Unlike Sandy and his run-in with a tree, from which he would never return.
There was absolutely no one to talk to about how she felt. Was there no one at all who understood? Ben was much too young and as for her friends at school… They'd just tell her that losing Sandy was a sign. After all, they'd barely started dating and there were plenty of other guys at Dewey High School.
But Carol didn't want any other guys. She wanted Sandy.