Spring break is awesome! I have been catching up with my reading, and baking a lot. Last week I updated the chapter Thursday since I had so much going on, so now I can finally update on time.

Guys I'm taking a big risk with this chapter, I hope you won't hate it!

lexy1989: I think everybody hated Ioran in my last chapter, poor him haha! Aww thank you so much, I missed reading about you! I always forget you work; you're already a responsible young woman. I hope I'll be able to be like you when I work! And yees, I've been catching up with your fics. You seriously never disappoint me!

Anilissa: I really don't like it! But when I thought about this story, Luna was going to be his fiancé from the very beginning. However, since I hate the couple you can guess I'll try my hardest for it to never happen! Yeah, Luna is always used as the villain since she's so easily manipulated. When Luna turned into a kid and tried to get into Natsume and Mikan we all hated her, I admit it! I understand that feeling, is like they ruin Mikan's alices. I honestly loved the manga but I hated the ending, I mean…I wanted them to save Hotaru! Have you read it?

Katherine kalissa amara: You're a Youichi lover? I won't lie, when Youchi ate that aging candy I died when he was older! He's so hot! I don't mind your selfishness; I'm being selfish as well haha!

iiAriya: Are you kidding me? That's amazing! How I wish my neighborhood made anime events! I like black butler, I've seen all the anime series but I haven't read the manga, is it good? I guess you like a little of shounenai since everyone ships CeilxSebastian hahah! Well, I don't know, I might be wrong though, please correct me if I'm wrong! I hope I won't let you down with this chapter!

Newroz: You're exam didn't go well? I'm so sorry dear! My exams didn't go very well either but I managed to pass. Thanks for reading!

P3nnYnnep: You have great ideas! But I can't spoil you, I hope I will surprise you though!

NikoNikiLove: Thank you! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well!

jnrlove: Yeah, I actually intended Luna's love to fail but I felt sad as well! Thank you so much for waiting for the next chapter, hope it won't let you down.

Enjoy!

*Chapter 23*

Natsume closed the door of his room silently, letting out a deep sigh. He knew things with Izumi wasn't going to be a piece of cake; however, he couldn't back out, even when their original plan was hiding their relationship, if you can call it like that.

Since the vampire wasn't really aware of how relationships worked in this century; he needed some research to do about the subject.

He knew his best friend's lover could help him understand how the things work, but he doubted it would be that easy to get information from her. He still needed to try.

His crimson eyes turned to the floor, where his backpack stood. He sighed once more, only thinking about how his father would shout at him or even punish him.

He laughed slightly at the thought, he was sure about having nothing else to lose; his position in the company what all he had on the underworld.

Still, he had to go through the annoying process of being yelled at, after all, he knew he deserved it.

He kneeled down to open his backpack, searching for the key to open the portal he found something different. He turned to look at the object on his hand, his eyes widened, how could he forget about Nozomi's diary?

He opened it and started reading it, losing no time. He went through the first pages reading what Mikan might have read. He complained with himself, he should've hid the diary somewhere else; however, if Mikan didn't find out about him, he would've died that night he came extremely injured.

January 16, 1915

Natsume comes every week to see me. I know he's a busy man, well vampire, but he comes anyways. I won't lie; a part of me still can't believe he's a vampire. It's a little scary, even though I pretend not to be afraid, I sometimes think he'll become like the vampire who tried to bite me. But again, the feelings inside of me are much deeper.

Natsume passed the page as he kept reading, feeling both nostalgic and amazed by his ex-lover, who wrote about every day they spent together.

January 17, 1915

Today I saw Natsume as who he really is. He will never know about it, I followed him. I'm not sure what happened but there was a man who was making Natsume mad. He eventually lost it, and ended up almost killing that man, in front of my eyes.

My hands were shaking, I wanted to scream. I didn't know this Natsume! I was afraid of seeing him again; thankfully, I'll see him in a week. I need some time to think.

Natsume couldn't say a word. He still remembered that day but didn't know Nozomi was behind them, watching the whole scene. Actually, he wanted to kill that low-class vampire who said he was going to kill Nozomi; however, he knew she would be against it, that's why he stopped.

January 24, 1915

It's been a week since the accident, he came by my house but I pretended to be sleeping. My mother hates Natsume. She says he's no good and that people speak about our relationship a lot.

Of course, since Natsume doesn't like sunlight, we met when the sun is down. This behavior isn't appropriate for a lady, that's what they say. I felt regret after Natsume left, I knew I would miss him so much after he's gone; two weeks without him seemed much more than it sounded.

I will see him next week, I will apologize and I'll tell him I love him.

Natsume's heart felt heavy, it was aching so badly. He knew he didn't love Nozomi anymore but the love he once shared with her was protesting.

Why are the memories so harming?

January 30, 1915

I saw Natsume today; we spent the whole afternoon together. Since my mother told him he didn't want any more dates on the night. She told me I had to be home earlier since we'll have a guest.

I did as she told me and said goodbye to Natsume, he gave me a quick kiss and left. Whenever he kisses me, it makes me think we're not that different.

I entered my house and to my surprise a man I've never seen before was waiting for me. He was a good-looking man, with his shiny long black hair and a smile that seemed to be seen miles away. He was indeed charming; with that bouquet of red roses he introduced himself as my fiancé.

I can't tell this to Natsume.

Natsume was surprised and hurt; he didn't know Nozomi kept so much from him. He never knew she was engaged.

February 6, 1915

I told Natsume to never meet me at my house. My mom would definitely tell him to never come again and that I was going to marry a man I didn't love. I was basically sold to a rich family, I knew my mother only cared about the money but this was too much.

I couldn't be with Natsume and I knew it. But, I didn't want to admit it, I felt useless.

That night I find a wedding dress laying on my bed. I cried so much, I knew my wedding was in a week, but I couldn't tell Natsume. If I did, I'm sure he'll ask me to run away with him, but I can't. I'm a coward! I can't run away with him, I'm afraid. He'll keep on living and I'll die. Every day I'll grow older, I don't want him to feel pain when I'm gone.

I love Natsume, that's why I can't be the woman for him. I'm sure he'll find someone who'll be stronger than me, someone who'll be able to make him happy, and someone that won't doubt.

Natsume wasn't crying, he said he'll never cry again for his past love; however, his heart indeed felt a lot of pain. He felt like the pain was strangulating him, taking everything from him. He never knew Nozomi had to go through so much, by herself.

March 6, 1915

It's been a month since I last wrote. I married the man I didn't love and I said goodbye to the man I did love. At least, I have the memories and a photo of us. My love for him will never die, even when I die.

I didn't say a thing to Natsume, I simply left to France and left behind everything he could trace me with. Now that my last name was changed it would be even harder for him to find me. Actually, Ruka helped me to get in contact with Ioran. I'll definitely miss my best friend, who did so much for me. Natsume's father told me that the decision I made was the right one, and he also told me he'll give Natsume a work in which he wouldn't be able to visit the human world often.

That's how I've been living.

Natsume felt betrayed, his father knew about their relationship. Still, he didn't say a word to him. That's why he prohibited me to go back to human world for ten long years.

There was only one page left,

June 8, 1930

It's been 15 years since I've seen Natsume, since I've married and since I've been living in France. Today, I returned to my old house, where I found my old diary and decided to write for the last time. I was told by Ioran that I could return after 10 years, but I decided to wait a little longer. I'm 32 years old now; my dear daughter is 5 years old.

Even though we have been married for 15 years, I didn't love my husband until 5 years ago. I hated him so much; however, he never got mad nor ask for my love. He simply waited and didn't touch me until I felt the same way.

I do like my husband now and I'm really happy by the family I have created. But I can't help to sometimes think about Natsume and how he must look exactly the same. He was like Peter Pan to me. For that exact reason, I couldn't be with him.

I don't know if he'll ever know about this diary but the only thing I want is for him to have hope. I once told him my name meant 'hope', that's why I can only hope, he'll find his special person. I'm sure, he'll find someone who will accept him just the way he is. He won't be happy with a human who can't accept him as who he really is. I also hope, his heart won't be hurt forever, I'm praying for that special someone to come into his life soon. Even if the thought hurts me a little, I'll be happy if he's happy.

Anyway, this is the last page of the diary, all I can say is that he'll always be in my heart.

Natsume threw the book as he covered his face with his cold hands, he broke another promise. He was crying once more for his past lover, maybe because he knew this was the end, maybe because he knew he was the only one who kept feeling, or maybe because he was grateful for the painful sacrifice she made.

"T-The Human world?", Ruka asked shocked.

Hotaru simply nodded. Youichi left so they could have a private conversation about the matter, of course, Ruka wasn't expecting such an answer.

"I understand you want to go back but Hotaru, you were once a human", Ruka explained. "There are people who might've known you. What should we do if they see you again? When you're supposed to be dead?", he tried to convince her.

"I can change my appearance", she simply said.

"It's not that simply Hotaru", Ruka messaged his temples. "I'm a vampire, I can't live there"

Hotaru started walking towards the door until Ruka stopped her. "Where are you going?"

"I'll speak with Ioran", she answered with a bored expression.

"Hotaru, why are you doing this?", Ruka asked worriedly.

"I have been obedient for a long time and I've been hiding for a long time. I want to be my own person", she started taking Ruka's attention. "You gave me a second chance and I don't want to waste it hiding in your closet"

Ruka was shocked by Hotaru's feelings, he felt guilty as well. He failed realizing about how the woman he loved felt. He had his mind in protecting her and hiding her from the other vampires that he forgot; she could be against his way of thinking.

"I'm sorry", he apologized.

"It's okay", Hotaru gave a small smile. "I have a plan"

"A plan?", Ruka raised a brow, feeling slightly worried.

"Are you in or out?", Hotaru asked seriously.

Mikan opened her eyes once more. She had been trying to sleep for more than 2 hours but she couldn't keep her eyes shut more than 2 minutes. Her head was torturing her, asking so many questions.

She turned to look at her wristwatch, it was already 10pm. She knew her parents would be sleeping already, as silent as she could, she got off her bed and walked towards Natsume's room. She was scared Natsume would be gone, what if his father kicked him out?

She would only take a look and then turn back to sleep.

She opened the door slowly and silently, her heart skipped a bit when she found Natsume with his face buried on his knees in a corner of the room.

Her heart broke when she heard his soft sobs; closing the door silently she got his attention. He couldn't say a thing since Mikan threw himself to his arms. She hugged him so tightly, trying to comfort him even though she didn't know what had happened.

"Mikan", Natsume called out for her.

"What is it?", she asked looking at him tenderly.

"You're not leaving me, right?", he asked meeting her eyes.

She wasn't excepting what he said but she didn't doubt to answer. "I'm never leaving you", she assured.

"You'll always love me?"

"Always", she reassured.

He held her tightly with one hand and with the other one he was caressing her cheek. Then he placed his fingers under her chin, making her face him. Now that they were only a few centimeters apart, he whispered, "Let's seal the deal"

He kissed her passionately; he needed her in that moment. His heart knew for sure, Mikan was the woman he wanted. It wasn't Nozomi, it never was her. She's the girl Nozomi wrote about in her diary, a strong girl who won't doubt.

Natsume bit her lower lip and Mikan answered immediately, letting his tongue make his way into her mouth. She wasn't left behind, as her hands started trailing his well-built body.

Natsume started taking her clothes away, while she kissed his neck.

"Wait stop-", Natsume said.

Mikan turned to look at him. "You better go back to your room"

"Why?", she asked.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to stop"

"Then don't stop", she said seriously, kissing him again.

Natsume answered the kiss, he's usually the one to start it but the roles have changed and he wasn't complaining. He carried her from the floor and placed her carefully on the bed.

Kissing her entire body, leaving marks on it, and sharing their love. Surely, they weren't expecting that this was the beginning of something bigger than they could handle.

It all started that night, when they became one.

Author's Note

I know it already! Things escalated quickly, but if I wanted longer we would be on chapter 40! So yeah, I intended this to happen from the very beginning so please don't hate me.

I promise this had to happen, everything will have sense in a few chapters so please, accept it! I really appreciate all your support.

'till the next chapter, love you guys!