Chapter 9
Requiem of Regret
Chara had woke up, not in the room that he had specifically remembered having himself and Asriel at the whole time, but rather a room that was all too familiar to him. Painted in the colors of red and royal purple, his favorite, with quite a number of stuffed animals around...
"My... my room..." Chara said as he looked around. Yes, it was true. He was in the room of his former home, when he was still a part of the Dreemur family. It still had that same warm and cozy feeling that he was so used to it having in the past. It felt like here, in this room, all of the troubles that he ever had just melted away and were left behind.
He gave an amazed look around as he stood up and began to look around, trying to figure out how he got there. He was happy to be there again, but at the same time, he knew that he shouldn't be there at all.
"...This must be one of those creatures of mine pulling some kind of prank on me..." he said to himself. "...Alright, guys... yeah... real funny... you really had me taken by surprise... yep... you got me..."
He looked around again, looking at the ceiling and the walls as he was waiting for something to happen, for one of his creations pulling a prank on him. "...Now... if you don't mind... you know... ending the prank here and now, because... starting to get just the slightest bit pissed off with you right now..."
Still no response came from anywhere. Chara took some time to let the sound of silence quietly pound in through his ears and ring out through his head. He usually found silence to be peaceful, a time where he could be on his own and think about everything that occurred to him, and every single thing that he had ever done in his life. It was a place where he actually felt safe, away from what else everybody could possibly say to hurt him.
This silence, however, brought a sense of unease in him. Deep in his chest, he could feel a sensation that he hadn't felt in a long time, his heart pounding with some kind of fear. He had no idea of why he was afraid, neither did he find anything to be afraid of in that room. Yet somehow, he had that little childish fear hidden inside his chest. He hadn't felt that fear in a long time, specifically before he fell in the Underground, when he was always subject to...
"No... don't think of that." Chara told himself with a fast shake of his head to get those memories out of his head. "...That was in the past... you're stronger than you were then... you don't have to worry about it..." He gave a sigh and walked to the door. He was starting to think that this wasn't really a prank that someone was pulling on him. He opened the door quietly and began to walk out, trying to find out the reason for this.
"...Hello?..." he called out as he walked out of the room and began to search around the area. "...Hello?... Anybody here?..."
He had walked into the kitchen and gave a little gasp. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw who was in there. It was his adoptive parents, and his brother. Toriel, Asgore, and Asriel were all there, sitting at the table... his... his family...
"Ah! Chara!" Asgore said happily as he held up a mug of Golden Flower Tea, his favorite kind of tea. "There you are, sleepyhead. I was starting to think you were going to be sleeping all day."
Asriel looked at Chara with that friendly, happy smile that Chara always loved to see on his brother. He was such a sweet and big hearted monster. Quite shy and unadventurous at times, but still good hearted nonetheless, and was the best brother Chara could have ever asked for in his life. "Hey, Chara! What took you so long? You completely missed out on the new episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog."
Toriel gave a smile at Chara. "It's great to see you're finally up, son. We've all been waiting for you."
Chara sniffled a bit and teared up. He couldn't believe this. His family was there for him. His brother, his best friend who he loved more than anything in the world... his mother, one of the kindest people that has ever been Chara's great pleasure of being acquainted with... Asgore, the King of the Underground who was strong and just, yet also very kind and loving... they were all there for him.
"Asriel... Mommy... Daddy..." he whispered with that smile as all three of them stood and held their arms out for a hug. Chara ran to them and hugged all of them, tears of joy streaming down his eyes and that smile on his face. He felt so happy.
All four of them stood there in the hug, the whole family together. It was a beautiful day outside. Whatever birds were in the Underground were chirping their songs, the flowers outside were blooming beautifully... in was on days like these that Chara could never be happier to have these moments with his family. He cherished them so much, and he could never be any more thankful to be a part of their lives.
As he continued to stand there in the hug, he began to feel something warm drip on his face. It wasn't his tears... it was... something else... something that felt warm and thick on his face... and it had a little unpleasant smell. He opened his eyes slowly to see what was going on.
He gave a gasp to see that from Toriel's torso, there was a huge cut, which was bleeding, and having the blood leak onto Chara's face. He began to panic when he saw Toriel bleeding like that. "M-Mommy! You're bleeding!" he told her and looked up at her. She just kept that smile and looked at him, as if nothing was wrong. "M-Mommy! You're hurt! We need to get you to a hospital!"
"Y... you... really hate me that much?" came Toriel's voice, though it wasn't physically said by Toriel. It just spoke clearly in Chara's head, like some kind of telepathic message of some sort.
Chara looked up at Toriel after he had heard that. "M... Mommy?" he questioned, scared at what he had just heard.
Despite Chara's questioning, Toriel's voice kept talking inside his head. "Now I see who I was protecting by keeping you down here. Not you... but them!"
"M-Mommy... I don't hate you... I love you, Mommy... please, just tell me what's going on." Chara begged and looked at Toriel, his eyes filled with tears of sadness and fear. "Please... tell me what I did wrong."
"Ha... ha..." Toriel said nothing more and she began to disappear, turning into dust and leaving the rest of the family.
"M-Mommy?!" Chara called out and looked around, trying to find a trace of Toriel, but nothing of her remained. She had completely vanished, the only thing left of her being the blood that was spilt from her wound unto Chara's face. Both Asgore and Asriel remained still, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
"D-Daddy... where did Mommy go?" Chara asked as he looked up to Asgore fearfully. "...Daddy... where's Mommy?"
"Now, now. There's no need to fight." came Asgore's voice as it rang throughout Chara's head, just like Toriel's before him. "Why not settle this... over a nice cup of tea?"
Chara gasped. These words that Toriel and Asgore were saying... they were familiar to him. "Daddy... I... I'm not fighting you." he said, that fear building up even more and making his heart pound like never before. "P-please... just tell me what's going on..."
Asgore didn't listen to him as a huge slash mark suddenly appeared in his armor, cut deep enough to reach his flesh, as he too began to bleed unto Chara's face. Chara gasped as the blood of his father was spilling unto him, just like the blood of his mother.
"...Why... you..." Asgore said weakly as he began to disappear, dissipating into dust just like Toriel.
"N-no! Daddy, no!" Chara said as he tried to hold on tighter to Asgore to no avail, he changed into dust and disappeared completely. He was now left with just Asriel, who still seemed like nothing was wrong. Chara could only cling onto Asriel and hold him fearfully. He had absolutely no control over what was happening to his family.
Just when Chara thought that he was away from all of it, the voice of Asriel rang out through his head, just like their parents. "See? I never betrayed you! It was all a trick, see? I was waiting to kill him for you!"
Chara gasped and he hugged Asriel close and tighter. "No! Asriel, not you too!" he cried out. He was so close to sobbing out of control now. He couldn't lose Asriel now, not when he had just lost his mother and father.
"After all, it's me, your best friend!" the voice went on, despite Chara's crying. "I'm helpful, I can be useful to you. I promise I won't get in your way."
"No, Asriel! Please don't go!" Chara begged as he held on tight to Asriel, like it was the end of the world.
"I can help... I can... I can..."
"No, Asriel! I love you! You're the best thing that could ever have possibly happened to me! Just don't go! Don't leave me all alone!" Chara cried as he hugged him closer.
The voice of Asriel began to cry inside Chara's head, crying out of fear. "Please don't kill me." it said as Asriel began to slowly crumble away.
"No! Asriel! You can't leave me! I need you!" Chara said. "Don't go Asriel! Please! I love you!"
It was too late, and in a matter of seconds, Asriel had crumbled into dust and became absolutely nothing, just as his mother and father had disappeared before Chara's very eyes. They had left him there, kneeling down on the ground, desperately looking around to try and find some kind of sign of them still there. They had left Chara all alone in that kitchen.
"No!... Mommy?!... Daddy?!... Asriel?!..." Chara called out, praying, pleading for one of them to return and hold him again, but nobody of his family came. He was all alone.
"Mommy!... Daddy!... Asriel! Please! Come back!" Chara called out as he desperately looked to and fro, searching for a sign of them, but finding nothing. "I promise, I won't do anything to hurt you or make you mad ever again! I promise!... Just please don't leave me all alone!... Come back! Please!" Still no response came from the house, the silence mocking him. and taunting him.
Chara began to cry as he hit the floor with his fist, putting his head onto the floor as he cried like an overgrown baby. He felt like such a scared little child, so afraid of what was happening and being unable to do anything about it, and he hated himself so much for it. He had promised himself he would never be powerless again, and yet here he was, unable to bring back his family or do anything about them disappearing.
From out of nowhere in the house, a voice began to emit through the walls and the floor and the ceiling, everywhere around Chara had this voice. it began to talk in some very, very strange language that almost didn't sound like a language all together. However, despite never having heard the language before, and despite not recognizing the voice at all, Chara was somehow able to understand what the voice was saying.
'Satisfied?' the voice said in that strange language, Chara able to understand it like it was complete English, but at the same time having no idea what the voice was actually saying.
"Who... who are you?" Chara said as he looked around for the owner of the voice, but couldn't find anybody. He remained alone inside the kitchen.
'I am nobody...' the voice said. '...I no longer have any existence past mere memories of the remaining monsters... I am gone, no longer existent... just like you should be, Chara Dreemur.'
"Where... where did my family go?" Chara said as he looked around. "...Please... bring them back..."
'Bring them back? But you wanted them gone.' the voice said as the house scenery seemed to slowly melt away, and in a matter of ten seconds, Chara was kneeling on the ground, everything around him pitch black as the voice went on. 'Don't you remember? You had your puppet kill them all... destroyed the innocence of the girl and had her destroy everyone... your mother... your father... your brother... you killed them all... and for what?... To feed your power?... Because you were afraid of being too weak to matter?'
"...I... I'm so sorry..." Chara whispered as he looked down to the pitch black ground that he kneeled on. "...I... I didn't mean to hurt them... I didn't want to hurt them... I... I was only trying to..." Chara looked at his hands as he was trying to find an excuse, but he couldn't find any. He couldn't think of anything to say about what he had done. "I... I... I'm so sorry..."
'Of course you are... only now do you realize just how weak and hopeless you truly are.' the voice taunted, and slowly something began to appear in the far distance of the dark void. 'How does it feel, Chara? To be so weak and helpless, being able to do nothing but watch your loved ones and everyone you ever cared for disappear before your very eyes... just like I've been forced to do for so long...'
Chara looked at as something... no... someone was becoming visible throughout the darkness. He couldn't see much of it... all he could see was a white head that floated there, one eye closed and the other one lacking any pupil whatsoever. It was literally nothing but a pitch black socket. '...Truly, truly pathetic.'
"Who... who... who are you?" Chara said as he looked up at the being. "...I... I'm sorry I hurt everybody... I... I didn't mean to cause so much harm... p... please... let me have my family back... take me wherever they went, I beg you."
'Ooh... I'm afraid I can't do that, demon child... you've already taken your family away... you've already separated yourself from them... everything that you've ever done in your whole "eternal" life can never be undone, no matter how many times you reset the world like it's your own little play box.' the being said.
"...Please... I... I want to go home." Chara said as he looked down. He missed them so much, and he could feel his sins slowly crawling on his back and weighing him down again. All the voices of the monsters that he had ever hurt were ringing throughout his head, giving him no respite whatsoever.
'You have no home... you have nothing... you're all alone in the darkness... your family is gone... you have nothing but yourself to keep you company... and you have nobody but yourself to blame... forced to suffer on and watch your sins weigh you down...
"But... but..." Chara was mentally scrambling as he was trying to find something to say, something to cushion the blow of the words the being was saying to him, but he couldn't find anything. He had no excuses or reasons that could possibly justify the sins he had committed. He had nothing that could take away the guilt of what he had done. With more fresh tears falling down his eyes, he covered his eyes and looked down, unwilling to even look at the being at all.
'...You are truly sorry about your sins?... If you are truly sorry, then are you ready to put a stop to your actions? Are you ready to accept the consequences of what you've done?' Chara didn't answer as he kept his face down. he couldn't look at the being... he didn't want to. It was scaring him so much, and he could do nothing about it. All he could do is cower in that position of his, silently pleading for it to go away.
In a matter of seconds, however, it seemed that Chara's eyes were forced do open and look at the being's face right up close to his, staring into that one empty black eye socket, which now contained one white pupil that stared at Chara fiercely and glowed with unrelenting hatred.
'ARE YOU READY TO SUFFER FOR YOUR SINS?'
Chara gave a scared gasp and shot right up as he woke up, clutching his chest with his hand and breathing very hard as he was trying to calm down and look at the surroundings around him.
He was back in the room that he had gotten for him and Asriel to stay until he could completely start his plan. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the slightest. The sun was shining in from the window, and rom inside the window, he could see a gentle breeze blowing outside. Nothing at all seemed out of the ordinary.
"Asriel..." Chara said as he got up from the bed and began to walk to the room that he had for Asriel. He looked around and hesitantly put his hand on the doorknob, saying a silent prayer as he opened the door.
He found Asriel laying on the bed, silently, not at all responding to his entrance. Chara was still a bit scared and slowly approached Asriel, but soon could hear the very silent snoring that Asriel was projecting. Chara gave a sigh of relief. His brother was just sleeping. He wasn't harmed at all, and he was still there with him.
"...It was just a dream..." he thought to himself with a great sense of relief as he looked down and saw that he was yet in just his underwear. "Gah... I had better get some clothes on before Asriel wakes up." he said to himself as he turned and went back to the room he was resting in.
He got his clothes on and looked at an alarm clock he had on a nightstand. It said that it was currently 11:24 AM. He and Asriel had slept longer than he thought they would.
He gave a sigh and sat down, trying to recollect himself after the events that had transpired in his nightmare. He took a few minutes to close his eyes and calm down, but the face that he had seen in the nightmare still haunted him. He couldn't get it out of his head, nor could he get the words out of his mind.
He glanced over at his other nightstand and had seen a wrapper for Tobasco Spicy Dark Chocolate. He had had one of those right before he fell asleep, he remembered, since he loved chocolate and he liked spicy foods, though not nearly to much of a degree as chocolate. So he thought that a piece of spicy chocolate would have been great, and in terms of taste, he really enjoyed it.
"...Gah... no more spicy chocolate bars before bed for me." he muttered as he went to a trash can and threw the wrapper away, trying to blame what he had just seen in his dream on the midnight snack that he had.
He got up and decided to take a minute to relax and get some fresh air. He could use a little bit of sunlight on his skin anyway. Produces some Vitamin D in the body... even though Chara wasn't exactly sure whether he would even need any Vitamin D at all.
"...Meh. I still eat and drink... maybe I DO need it after all, despite being a demon." he said to himself as he went to get a bottle of water to take with him outside.
He exited the building and walked over to a nearby patch of grass that was right beside it, and just laid down in the sun, drinking some of the water in his bottle. He had always had kind of a soft spot for nature and beautiful days like this one, despite very rarely ever showing it. The warm feeling of sunlight on his skin and the sight of the beautiful blue sky was actually something he missed quite often in the Underground... in fact, it was pretty much the only thing about the surface that Chara had missed in the Underground... well, besides those flowers that he always liked.
The day just seemed so peaceful that Chara could almost fall asleep in that patch of grass, had he not already just woken up. He stared up at the blue sky, watching the small white clouds as they lazily drifted in the bright blue sky. They seemed so at peace, as if there was nothing that could disturb them.
As Chara laid there, staring at the sky, he couldn't help but think about his dream again. "It was just a stupid dream... it doesn't mean anything to me..." he lied to himself, but deep down, he knew that that dream had awakened something in him that Asriel had begun to bring back to him since the beginning; a feeling that, as a demon, he shouldn't have been feeling in the first place...
"...Remorse..."
He was beginning to think that perhaps everything that he had done leading up to this moment in his existence may have been a mistake. Perhaps he wasn't fully aware of just what he was getting himself into, and perhaps he should try to turn back now if he had the chance.
Then again, if there was any truth in that dream whatsoever, it was that what Chara had done, whether or not he restarts the world whenever he wanted to, couldn't be undone. Whether or not he changed the past to make a different future, it didn't undermine the fact that he did what he had done.
"...Why am I thinking about all this?" Chara thought silently to himself and took another sip of water as he held out his hand and let the yellow Human Soul, the Soul of Justice, float out of his body and just above his hand. For the time being, controlling just one Human Soul was absolutely no problem. He knew that he wouldn't be able to control all six of them for very long... five would be quite the leap of faith, and he wasn't entirely sure about four... his goal was to at least be able to control three of them.
"...I can't look back and regret what I had done... not now... not when I've come so far." he argued with himself as he let the soul float on his hand a little bit. "...I've come too far and gone through too much to let any guilt stand in my way... besides... I'm bringing justice to the humans, just like the Soul of Justice itself." He gave a sigh and let the soul go back into his body.
"...In order to put an end to the evils of humanity... in order to destroy those demons they call humanity, I myself have become a demon... in order to do a greater good for the whole world... I've become the bad guy... and until I cleanse the world of the human scum... I must keep going forward..."
He gave a growl and looked back up to the sky and clutched some of the blades of grass in the patch, threatening to rip it out if he tried clutching it any harder. "Gah... I hate it when I'm forced to convince myself of my motives!" he said.
It was absolutely ridiculous. A demon that wants to destroy all of humanity having to try and think about why he wanted to do so. He didn't need any motives for killing every human being! He was a demon, for crying out loud! And yet there he was, laying on the grass in the sunshine and drinking a bottle of water, thinking about whether he should really keep going with what he was trying to do or not.
"...I'm getting too soft." he said as he released the grass from his clutch. "...I'm letting these emotions get to my head... I don't need a motive to kill all of humanity anymore... I don't need to regret any of the sins I've committed... I do them because I'm a demon, plain and simple. I exist solely for death and destruction... that's all I need to know about myself... I don't need anything else..."
Then a thought hit him. If that was the case, if he truly was a demon to begin with, then why did he even bring his own brother back to life in the first place? If he truly was a being that lived for nothing but death and destruction, then why did he keep Asriel alive and safe with him, when he could just as easily have left him as a flower and gone on with his plans when he had the power?
"...God damn it! Stop it!" Chara shouted to himself as he pounded on the dirt once with his fist. "There's no going back! I have to finish what I started!... I can't turn back... I won't..." He gave a shake of his head and stood up. He glanced straight ahead, almost expecting to see Frisk and her friends approaching, but he didn't see anything like that. He knew that it was going to take them quite a while to find out where exactly he was.
"...Perhaps I shouldn't have the patience... to wait for them to find me." he said to himself with a shake of his head.