Chapter 2
But as she left I noticed the buds of tears forming in her eyes, I knew that Cali probably wanted to be alone but decided to follow her anyway. I kept my distance as she wandered the deck of the MOI walking past her cabin, so she certainly wasn't heading to bed. She finally came to the observation deck swiped her dog tags and entered. Many of the agents and staff on board the MOI used this deck for dates and to be sure there were some beautiful view of the constellations to be seen from this here. I personally had never been invited there for a date but I had used it often to calm myself down when the dreams got bad, this was presumably what agent California was doing in there right now.
I knew that he could not enter the room without Cali knowing I had followed her, but I couldn't help but feel a certain amount of responsibility for what she was going through right now, I was after all the one you brought it up.
I knocked 3 times and entered the observation deck, I was not however prepared for what I saw, California was sat curled up in the corner, her breathing was rapid and deep and she was trembling. This was a panic attack. Instinctively I ran over and pulled Cali into a tight embrace whispering soothing words into her ear. After a few minutes her breathing began to slow to a more normal rhythm and the trembling subsided enough for her to speak.
"What are you doing here? No one should see me like this I'm supposed to be the perfect soldier, here I am weak."
"I followed you?" I responded "I was worried about you" at this she pulled back and looked me in the eye, you were worried about me, no one ever worries about me I'm a worthless killing machine my life doesn't matter. Why should you care"
Her eyes were filling with tears again and her breathing once again became ragged.
"that's not how I feel about you, you are a person of course you matter" I retort pulling her back into my arms. Her hair smelt like cinnamon, God this woman was perfect.
After a few minutes' I whisper "Time for you to get to your rack, you have a big day tomorrow, and you can't spend the night here on the floor"
"ok" she replies
I helped her to her feet with a smile and walks with her back to her cabin, Cali opened her door and took a step inside before turning and looking at me who had stopped just outside the door. "Can you come in for a bit…" I blushed and stood there shocked "it doesn't matter its silly really; it's just I'm scared to close my eyes the dreams will come back and I don't want to do that alone and you seem to know what how I'm feeling"
"ok" I said sheepishly as I entered the room
I entered the room and looked around, all the freelancer's rooms were identical but they were told that they could redecorate, Cali obviously hadn't had time yet. There was just the single bed with thin sheets a desk with a lamp and a wardrobe. What caught my eye however was the fact that the wardrobe was empty except for her under suit and a hanger which was presumably for her gym clothes which she was currently wearing.
As I turned around to ask Cali where all her clothes where I was shocked to see Cali was busy stripping her clothes off, I blushed, apologizing and ran into the bathroom, I wasn't a pervert I wasn't in the habit of watching women strip down especially when I hardly knew them. After what I assumed was an appropriate amount of time for someone to get changed into sleeping attire he started to opened the door but Cali pushed back.
In a whisper her voice a little raspy she said "I'm not wearing anything, I don't have any pyjamas. I'm sorry, just let me put my gym clothes back on"
"it's ok, you need something to sleep in, I'll pass you a towel, cover yourself with that and I'll get you something to sleep in from my room"
"You would do that for me?" Cali replied obviously a little shocked
"Yer of course why wouldn't I, it's only a night shirt and a pair of joggers"
"but they are yours, you might need them" stuttered Cali.
"nah I have loads I won't miss them, in fact you can keep them"
With that I bent my hand round the door and handed Cali a towel which she then wrapped around herself. I walked out of the bathroom and towards the door taking great care not to let his eyes land on Cali for too long although the view was stunning, Cali had long legs but more muscular than most women's, her freckles covered most of her body, but she carried just enough weight to be slightly curvy. She was beautiful.
I sprinted back to my cabin and grabbed a pair of grey joggers and a black t-shirt. As I ran back out of my room I almost ran straight into York. York looked at him for a moment and asked "where are you heading off to now of night with fresh clothes?"
I was a little embraced explained that I was taking them to agent California's room and that she had nothing to sleep in. the normally friendly Agent York's next words took wash completely by surprise: "it's what she deserves, I'm only sad they gave her a bed, Wash she's an animal and if you get to close you will become her prey, if you knew what I knew you would stay as far away from her as possible!"
"you know nothing about her!" I retorted "I found her tonight having a panic attack and she's been nothing but friendly to everyone on this ship and no one will give her the time of day in return, and that frankly makes me sick." I then pushed past York and carried on towards California's room. York looked back after me he was saddened that one of his best friends was angry with him but he thought he was doing the right thing. Surly in time I would come to see this.
As I re-entered Cali's room I noticed that Cali was sat on her bed with tears streaming down her face "I heard you and Agent York outside, I'm sorry I have come between you and your friends you don't have to speak to me you know, I will be fine on my own"
"Its fine" said wash as he sat on the side of the bed next to Cali, "York is being a dick, I'm sure he will apologize tomorrow he just takes a while to warm up to people" this was a lie, York was usually the friendliest of the bunch.
Cali's next words took me by surprise "He's right though, I am an animal I don't deserve the friendship of anyone," "I-I think you should leave," she said rising from her bed I think I'm just going to stay up and read, its only 2 hours until morning roll call anyway."
I sensed that my presence was only going to upset Cali further so I rose from the bed and headed towards the door leaving the clothes on the bed next to Cali. As I did Cali grabbed my arm and passed me a flash drive.
"I couldn't tell you my past because I don't know how to put it into words but it is all here, just be prepared that once you read it you will think the same of me as agent York does."
I took the flash drive nodded and left the room.
When I re-entered my own room, I threw the flash drive into a corner I wasn't going to read it I didn't care about her past.
Chapter 2
But as she left I noticed the buds of tears forming in her eyes, I knew that Cali probably wanted to be alone but decided to follow her anyway. I kept my distance as she wandered the deck of the MOI walking past her cabin, so she certainly wasn't heading to bed. She finally came to the observation deck swiped her dog tags and entered. Many of the agents and staff on board the MOI used this deck for dates and to be sure there were some beautiful view of the constellations to be seen from this here. I personally had never been invited there for a date but I had used it often to calm myself down when the dreams got bad, this was presumably what agent California was doing in there right now.
I knew that he could not enter the room without Cali knowing I had followed her, but I couldn't help but feel a certain amount of responsibility for what she was going through right now, I was after all the one you brought it up.
I knocked 3 times and entered the observation deck, I was not however prepared for what I saw, California was sat curled up in the corner, her breathing was rapid and deep and she was trembling. This was a panic attack. Instinctively I ran over and pulled Cali into a tight embrace whispering soothing words into her ear. After a few minutes her breathing began to slow to a more normal rhythm and the trembling subsided enough for her to speak.
"What are you doing here? No one should see me like this I'm supposed to be the perfect soldier, here I am weak."
"I followed you?" I responded "I was worried about you" at this she pulled back and looked me in the eye, you were worried about me, no one ever worries about me I'm a worthless killing machine my life doesn't matter. Why should you care"
Her eyes were filling with tears again and her breathing once again became ragged.
"that's not how I feel about you, you are a person of course you matter" I retort pulling her back into my arms. Her hair smelt like cinnamon, God this woman was perfect.
After a few minutes' I whisper "Time for you to get to your rack, you have a big day tomorrow, and you can't spend the night here on the floor"
"ok" she replies
I helped her to her feet with a smile and walks with her back to her cabin, Cali opened her door and took a step inside before turning and looking at me who had stopped just outside the door. "Can you come in for a bit…" I blushed and stood there shocked "it doesn't matter its silly really; it's just I'm scared to close my eyes the dreams will come back and I don't want to do that alone and you seem to know what how I'm feeling"
"ok" I said sheepishly as I entered the room
I entered the room and looked around, all the freelancer's rooms were identical but they were told that they could redecorate, Cali obviously hadn't had time yet. There was just the single bed with thin sheets a desk with a lamp and a wardrobe. What caught my eye however was the fact that the wardrobe was empty except for her under suit and a hanger which was presumably for her gym clothes which she was currently wearing.
As I turned around to ask Cali where all her clothes where I was shocked to see Cali was busy stripping her clothes off, I blushed, apologizing and ran into the bathroom, I wasn't a pervert I wasn't in the habit of watching women strip down especially when I hardly knew them. After what I assumed was an appropriate amount of time for someone to get changed into sleeping attire he started to opened the door but Cali pushed back.
In a whisper her voice a little raspy she said "I'm not wearing anything, I don't have any pyjamas. I'm sorry, just let me put my gym clothes back on"
"it's ok, you need something to sleep in, I'll pass you a towel, cover yourself with that and I'll get you something to sleep in from my room"
"You would do that for me?" Cali replied obviously a little shocked
"Yer of course why wouldn't I, it's only a night shirt and a pair of joggers"
"but they are yours, you might need them" stuttered Cali.
"nah I have loads I won't miss them, in fact you can keep them"
With that I bent my hand round the door and handed Cali a towel which she then wrapped around herself. I walked out of the bathroom and towards the door taking great care not to let his eyes land on Cali for too long although the view was stunning, Cali had long legs but more muscular than most women's, her freckles covered most of her body, but she carried just enough weight to be slightly curvy. She was beautiful.
I sprinted back to my cabin and grabbed a pair of grey joggers and a black t-shirt. As I ran back out of my room I almost ran straight into York. York looked at him for a moment and asked "where are you heading off to now of night with fresh clothes?"
I was a little embraced explained that I was taking them to agent California's room and that she had nothing to sleep in. the normally friendly Agent York's next words took wash completely by surprise: "it's what she deserves, I'm only sad they gave her a bed, Wash she's an animal and if you get to close you will become her prey, if you knew what I knew you would stay as far away from her as possible!"
"you know nothing about her!" I retorted "I found her tonight having a panic attack and she's been nothing but friendly to everyone on this ship and no one will give her the time of day in return, and that frankly makes me sick." I then pushed past York and carried on towards California's room. York looked back after me he was saddened that one of his best friends was angry with him but he thought he was doing the right thing. Surly in time I would come to see this.
As I re-entered Cali's room I noticed that Cali was sat on her bed with tears streaming down her face "I heard you and Agent York outside, I'm sorry I have come between you and your friends you don't have to speak to me you know, I will be fine on my own"
"Its fine" said wash as he sat on the side of the bed next to Cali, "York is being a dick, I'm sure he will apologize tomorrow he just takes a while to warm up to people" this was a lie, York was usually the friendliest of the bunch.
Cali's next words took me by surprise "He's right though, I am an animal I don't deserve the friendship of anyone," "I-I think you should leave," she said rising from her bed I think I'm just going to stay up and read, its only 2 hours until morning roll call anyway."
I sensed that my presence was only going to upset Cali further so I rose from the bed and headed towards the door leaving the clothes on the bed next to Cali. As I did Cali grabbed my arm and passed me a flash drive.
"I couldn't tell you my past because I don't know how to put it into words but it is all here, just be prepared that once you read it you will think the same of me as agent York does."
I took the flash drive nodded and left the room.
When I re-entered my own room, I threw the flash drive into a corner I wasn't going to read it I didn't care about her past.