Vulcan

Spock was waiting on a long anticipated call from Jim. She'd been gone for three weeks on a speaking engagement on Earth and had been unable to talk due to a heavy schedule. She also had a decision that weighed heavily on her and she was uncertain of his reaction.

Joining Starfleet appealed to her immensely as she could broaden her knowledge of the universe and possibly discover new species, but it would mean being farther from Jim and possibly causing him to feel negatively towards her, if his feelings towards it were the same he'd had all those months ago.

There were positive steps being taken in the fight against trafficking, but it was a slow fight uphill battling political resistance and a delicate diplomatic dance to stop an all out war.

Sarek had been very busy lately, working on negotiations to take a harder stance on the problem.

Amanda had been visiting relatives on earth recently and scoping out the general attitude there.

"It's no surprise Jim doesn't want to go back there. Most people I talked to only asked if I got his autograph."

Spock had been rather appalled, but the urge to explore had had her enlisting after several days of careful research and logical thought.

Presently, her PADD beeped, indicating Jim was calling her and she connected the call, bringing Jim's shaggy brown head up on the screen. He grinned at her and another pang of illogical guilt went through her.

"Hey, Spock!"

"Hello, Jim," she replied, pleased at seeing how well he looked. The blue eyes didn't have bags and dark circles under them and he looked far more at ease and confident now.

"Looking good as ever, I see. What've you been up too, Spock?"

"I am very well, James. I have been making some difficult decisions recently that may cause you some consternation."

"How so?" He asked cautiously.

"I have enlisted in Starfleet," she said, not wasting any time. She'd dreaded his reaction for days and wanted to get the difficulty over with.

Instead of showing displeasure and agitation, Jim got really quiet.

"Wow," he said after some moments. "That was sudden, but I'm guessing the lure of scientific exploration called to you?"

"It did, very much so. I could not find any other organization that offered the opportunities Starfleet did. I understand if you are angry, Jim."

"I'm not angry, Spock, just...unsure of how things stand. I wish you would have told me you were considering it. Will you have to leave for earth soon?"

"In seven point two days," she informed him.

Jim looked like she'd taken the proverbial wind out of his sails, but he said "I guess I won't see you when I'm back for break then."

"Not unless you wish to travel to Earth, unfortunately. It was very illogical of me to not give you more advanced warning."

Spock was rather vexed with herself on that point. Jim deserved to know, but she'd let her human fears keep her from telling the truth about her desire to join the organization that had failed him so badly.

"Look, I may hate Starfleet, but I haven't seen you in six months, Spock. If I have to come disguised as a Klingon, I'll brave coming among humans again. Maybe visit Bones, too." He seemed to perk up a bit as he reasoned out loud.

"My last year on Orion, we were visited by a high-ranking Starfleet officer and Andromeda showed us all off to her then asked if she'd like to borrow one of us for a night. That's how they show their hospitality, I guess. I remember thinking she'd surely refuse, being a professional and a member of an organization that claims to frown on keeping humans as pets, but she accepted and looked right at me. It was far from the worst night I had, but the sense of betrayal lingered for a long time afterward."

Spock was relieved she hadn't seemed to wound him greatly, but she would certainly understand if he decided to remain strictly platonic friends. The logistics of forming a romantic relationship in such circumstances were daunting, to say the least.

She decided to change the topic for the moment, uncomfortable with the flat expression on his face.

"Tell me, Jim, how are your classes going? Are you still having difficulty with Intergalactic Law?"

"It's still pretty tough, but my buddy Tom is helping me with the rough parts. I'm getting a passing grade so far. Did I mention I'm learning some martial arts on the side now, thanks to Ella's encouragement?"

"You did not, Jim," she said, looking interested.

"She said it would be very useful in my field and very therapeutic to practice, besides the whole self-defense thing. If somebody tries to take me again, I'll be ready."

He made a ferocious face and flexed his muscles, which were much more defined than she'd remembered them. Spock was rather pleased to see Jim's spirit and determination recovering. When he'd first came to them, it had been completely broken, like a wild stallion who had lost heart in captivity.

"I can also assume that your actual therapy sessions are beneficial, Jim?" She asked in amusement.

"Yes you can, Spock. Hard sometimes, but good. It's brought up a lot of suppressed memories, but I'm beginning to believe I could have a relationship someday, Though the physical part is still up in the air."

Spock understood that Sexual contact still brought back traumatic memories for him. She did not consider that to be a deterrent to a future relationship, however.

If she and Jim entered a romantic relationship, she would show him there were many other ways to show love than copulation and her affections for him did not depend on how he was (or was not) in the bedroom. But that was only theoretical for now, as they had much bigger obstacles to deal with.

"I am pleased to hear of your progress, Jim, and mother will be as well, but I can see you are exhausted and I can not detain you any more."

"I am kind of beat," he admitted, flashing a half smile. "Well, good luck with Starfleet, Spock. They'll be happy to have you, I'm sure."

He was trying to be pleased for her, she saw, and was having a difficult time of it. Spock made a mental note to be more open and logical in her communications in the future. She feared her lapse in logic had put even more distance between them.